


500

by Unda



Category: One Piece
Genre: 500 words, Drabble Collection, Gen, M/M, Request Meme
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-22 19:49:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 103
Words: 123,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/917368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unda/pseuds/Unda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of 500 word warm up drabbes, some in the same AU. I take requests through my tumblr here: http://undanewneon.tumblr.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

noideawhatasked: I suck at prompts, but can you write some fluff about Zoro and Sanji meeting in the night, when everyone are sleeping, and having a cute moment between them? :)

During the day was when they fought. Well, in fairness they fought at night too, whenever other people were around, or if it was daytime was the rule. But when the sun went below the sky and when their nakama went away to bed or somewhere else… that was different.

It's Sanji's watch tonight so Zoro waits until the others have gone to sleep and the moon has risen before he drops silently out of his hammock where he'd been feigning sleep. He sneaks out on deck and climbs the mast to the crow's nest.

You'd assume that he was going up there to screw the cook's brains out, and okay, sometimes they had sex at night but mostly not. He preferred sex with the cook during the day, fighty and lively, trying to keep quiet so their nakama didn't walk in on them.

Night was different.

He slides into the quiet dark room, the only light is the light of the moon, making Sanji's one visible eye shine in the pale light as he scans the horizon for ships. The cook is always far more serious about watch than he is. When Zoro gets to him he settles down onto the bench next to Sanji, lying stretched out with his feet up on the cushions and his head in Sanji's lap.

The cook smiles softly in the dark and blows a smoke ring up to the ceiling. Zoro watches as it floats up to the ceiling and dissipates. The cook's hand finds its way to Zoro's stomach and strokes in lazy circles. Zoro shuts his eyes, if he could purr right now he would.

"Marimo." Sanji hums affectionately, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the tip of Zoro's nose. Zoro wrinkles his nose and shakes his head, he doesn't like that so much.

"Watch for ships later, we can handle any that show up anyway." He huffs, rolling up onto his knees and pulling Sanji down from his seated position to lying down. The jolt nearly makes Sanji drop his cigarette and actually startles a yelp out of him. During the day that'd earn him a kick to the head. But at night… at night he can do this. He can curl against Sanji's form in the dark, he can press a worshipful kiss against the blonde's lean muscled belly and just have it be an expression of adoration with nothing else to complicate it.

Sanji's hands card through Zoro's hair, stroking it this way and that. Clever fingers thread through his locks and Zoro finds himself dozing off to sleep. In the morning the sun will rise again, as will Sanji's temper. He'll get kicked onto the floor, called lazy and the fights will begin again. They'll bicker and argue until the sun goes down and then Zoro will have this again. He smiles against Sanji's skin as sleep takes him. He likes the night.


	2. Chapter 2

kakashifan9asked: After using the diable jumbe too many times, Sanji ends up breaking his leg.

Sanji has tuned Zoro out. He's sprawled over the swordsman's shoulders in a fireman's lift. He's put his hand in Zoro's lower back, both to help Zoro to carry him and to help his balance. The swordsman's hands are mostly supporting Sanji's right thigh and his knee, the crook of his elbow just linked through Sanji's own so that he doesn't slip off.

He's mainly tuned Zoro out because the pain is making is hard to think and because the idiot is just starting to loop around in his criticism, insults and panicking. Zoro jumps down a ridge and though he tries to land as softly as he can the impact still jolts Sanji's shin.

His broken shin.

He knows it's broken, both because of how it hurts (like a mothefucker) and because of the snap it made (very loud) when he used the diable jambe one too many times and a bit too hard. He regrets nothing of course, some fucker with an axe was about to cleave Nami in half from her pretty head to her dainty toes. Over Sanji's dead body. Or broken leg…

"-fucking, idiotic, shit-for-brains MORON. Of all the things you could have broken, why didn't you just call for help when you started kicking too hard?! But no you couldn't just-" blah blah blah. Sanji tunes back out.

He hopes that it's a clean break. One that Chopper can fix easily. He really REALLY doesn't want to end up like Zeff, that doesn't bear thinking about. When they get back to the ship Sanji is treated to Chopper's variation of the endless "you're an idiot, what were you thinking, wah your leg is broken" spiel. It's remarkably like Zoro's but with less swearing.

To Sanji's surprise Zoro stays with him through the X-ray, he stays when Chopper puts his leg in a cast and he's still there when the doctor has declared himself done and dosed Sanji up on pain meds.

He looks blearily over at the still there Zoro. His hands are clenched tightly by his knees, the grip so strong that his knuckles are white and the veins are showing through his skin.

"Don't you ever fucking do that again." Zoro eventually snarls.

"I'm not just going to stop using that kick because-" He begins with a laugh.

"I'm not talking about the kick. Don't you do this to me again, you hear me?!" Zoro demands furiously.

Now it might be the pain meds but Sanji thinks that he sees something beyond nakama in the desperation, hurt and fear in Zoro's eyes. Something stronger.

"Hypocrite. I've been where you're sat more than you have." He argues back.

Maybe it's just the pain meds but Sanji chances it anyway. Reaches out and curls his fingers into Zoro's opening palm. Zoro starts some confession but Sanji tunes it out, he's already worked it out. Blah, blah, blah. He grins to himself, he doesn't regret the kick.


	3. Chapter 3

xkuramaxhieixasked: Here's a writing prompt for you! Sanji pervertedly watching Zoro working out in a pair of spandex shorts and gets caught staring by the rest of the crew(with a dense Zoro in the background).

It had all begun innocently enough, more or less. Sanji had been bragging that Zoro was nowhere near as flexible as he was and therefore not as strong, he'd pushed Zoro's flexibility to the limit and then challenged him to brute force his way out. Zoro couldn't.

Sanji could have predicted that Zoro would then go on to train this weakness out of himself, even going so far as to swallow his pride and get Sanji to show him the flexibility exercises that he uses. What he couldn't have predicted was this.

Zoro is practically fucking naked on deck, all except the tightest most painted on spandex shorts Sanji has ever seen. They leave so little to the imagination that it would almost be better if Zoro was naked.

As it is Sanji can see every trembling, slick, bronzed muscle in Zoro's back, along his ass through those SHORTS and down long tan thighs.

Zoro stretches out, bringing his shoulders down to his knees and wrapping his arms around both of his legs. The cursed and blessed stretch of black spandex shifting teasingly up as Zoro's thigh muscles flutter in the power of the stretch. The sworsman's hands touch the ground then and he shifts his weight onto them, his back arching wantonly as his balance changes to his hands.

Zoro brings himself flexibly upside down from his hand balance into a handstand, as achingly slowly as possible. His form slips slightly, Zoro's legs fluttering apart slightly, but from the view it affords Sanji he has no complaints.

Sanji is ludicrously hard and his nose is streaming. He came out here to get a show of Zoro's incompetence and to mock him but he's getting an entirely different show instead.

Zoro straightens out and Sanji watches as every breath makes Zoro's muscles flex and shudder as he tries to keep as still as possible. The gasp isn't his though, Sanji jumps and looks to his side and sees Nami and Robin standing there next to him at the rail watching. Robin's smile is predatory, her sunglasses slid low over her eyes, Nami though is flushed with eyes blown wide and her tight bikini top suddenly showing more ah, detail, than usual. Sanji looks mortified at Nami who's eyes flick to Sanji's far too tight trousers.

"You're doing it wrong!" Nami shouts down to Zoro. The swordsman drops out of the pose and scowls up at them. Sanji covers his nose casually with his sleeve and pinches his nose to stop the blood.

"Am not." Zoro pants shamelessly.

"You are, you and Sanji should do it together." Robin purrs, making Nami's breath hitch with excitement. Oh GOD.

"Come on then cook," Zoro says, painfully oblivious, "show me yours."


	4. Chapter 4

Seeing as it's Belgium's National Holiday and we're getting a new king now, how about a Royal ZoSan prompt. It's coronation time and one of them is nervous and the other tries to comfort him...

"Get back here Sanji!" Zoro snarls up at him from the floor below. Sanji is perched up on the top of a pillar, it's purely decorative of course, hence how Sanji can sit of the top of one. The palace is full of them.

"No way! Let's just… let's just get out of here and get drunk together in the woods, yeah?" He suggests from his high perch.

"You HAVE to go through with this!" Zoro shouts up at him and jumps, though his hands fall short of the handhold he needs to get up to Sanji's perch.

"No I don't, I was always far happier when Zeff was accused of being a bastard and not the rightful king. Things were better, I don't want to be the crown prince and I certainly don't want to be coronated!" He argues back.

Zoro groans and puts his head in his hands. They've got a pretty strange relationship for master and servant, but since Sanji's never actually been a prince it's been okay. Zoro's his best friend and… well… more than that too.

"Look, you've always been a royal pain in my ass." Zoro begins frustratedly from the floor.

"I think that you'll find it was my ass that-" Sanji gets cut off as Zoro hurls a boot at him.

"Everything else is still the same, only now you'll be a royal pain in the ass to millions. And you get a stupid crown, that's all. So get down here and get out of those clothes and into new ones." Zoro growls.

"What if it's not the same? What if this means that you and I can't be together anymore?" he calls out meekly, naming his true fear about all of this. Zoro's golden eyes widen as he looks up at the apparent prince of Baratie.

"We're not allowed together now but that doesn't stop you, I don't see that changing." The green haired servant points out from the floor below.

Sanji slides off of the pillar and drops soundlessly to the floor in his huge ornate bedchambers. His long suffering green haired servant scowls at him, despite the tender moment. Zoro rolls his eyes and, as if it was a chore, tugs Sanji close to him by the hem of his trousers.

Zoro melds their lips together, completely messes up Sanji's hair by jamming his fingers in it and pulling it tightly and altogether dishevels and debauches him.

"Okay, I guess." Sanji breathes against Zoro's mouth.

"Never had this much trouble getting you out of your clothes before." Zoro smirks, pulling Sanji's shirt off.

Sanji has his eyes shut in the coronation, when the crown is placed on his head. But when he opens his eyes they immediately land on the offensive green hair in the audience and the idiot attached to it. Zoro's expression is somehow both lecherous and proud and Sanji thinks that when he drags Zoro to bed later he might keep the crown on. Just to see.


	5. Chapter 5

Story prompt: If you'd like, I think the fandom needs a Vampire AU drabble with Zoro being the least seductive or convincing vampire in the history of vampires.

When you get to be nineteen you feel like you've got a certain understanding of how the world works, so Sanji is surprised when one night he's standing on his balcony having a pre-bedtime smoke to find some guy levitate up to him. Because, you know, gravity is a thing and shouldn't just be blithely ignored like that.

The only sensible option is to scream. This apparently startles the floating man out of the air and he has to catch onto the edge of the balcony stop from plummeting to the ground.

"Don't scream!" He pleads.

Sanji stops. He leans over the edge and sees a wide eyed green haired guy hanging off of the edge of his balcony.

"Just… stay right there. Hold on." The guy says up to him. Sanji is too perplexed to do otherwise as the man awkwardly levitates back up to the balcony then drops to the floor by Sanji.

"How the fuck did you do that?!" Sanji demands, waving his hands above the guy's head for wires or something.

"Magic." The green head replies simply, reclining backwards in the air.

"Right, so, sorry about this." The guy says and then fixes him with a look that's kinda twitchy. One eye is squinched up and a look of utter crazy concentration is on his face. Sanji stands there awkwardly, not knowing what's going on.

"Uh. You alright man?" Sanji ventures not knowing his name.

"It's Zoro, and no, I'm the worst vampire." The guy sighs and floats dismally by Sanji's side.

"Vampire?!" Sanji yelps, leaping backwards and clutching at his neck. He glances at the window and sees no reflection for the man.

"Relax, I don't bite. Not yet, I've not worked out how to do that yet either. Maybe…" Zoro trails off hopefully and fixes Sanji with that bizarre bug eyed look again.

"The fuck is that supposed to be?" Sanji questions, not taking his hands off of his neck.

"Seduction magic. I gotta pass these trials or else the head vampires kill me, but I'm no good at anything." Zoro pouts, a small fang sticking into his lower lip and cutting it. The idiot yelps and falls to the floor having successfully bitten himself. It's kinda pathetic.

"You really are shit at this." Sanji remarks, leaning forwards.

"Thanks, asshole. You never heard of respect for the dead?" Zoro snaps irritably.

"Nah. So… if you don't seduce someone with that dumb face then you get killed?" he surmises.

"Yeah." Zoro nods, dabbing at his own blood.

He looks so morose and pathetic that Sanji feels kinda sorry for him. He's the least seductive or terrifying vampire Sanji could imagine. It's almost… sweet.

"Say, why don't you come in and have some booze and talk? Then maybe you can try that look again yeah?" He suggests with a smile, the idiot's kinda cute after all.

"Really?" Zoro gasps happily, leaping up and floating excitedly.

"Yeah, but no biting." Sanji warns, leading the way in.


	6. Chapter 6

It's easily the best date you've been on in years. You finally asked out the unbelievably hot guy at your gym, his name is Zoro and the two of you have been bickering and flirting for months. You'd boasted that no one gave better dates than you and he snorted and demanded proof. You took him to that amazing and almost unknown thai place that blew his mind, you spent the whole meal laughing, joking and flirting some more.

Zoro is gorgeous and perfect and he seems to really like you. The heavens open as you walk down the street with him and the two of you have to duck under a bus shelter to avoid getting drenched. It's rom-com cheesy but perfect and when you pull him close and kiss him he gasps against your mouth and kisses back.

"Hey, I know this amazing bar not too far from here, you'll love it." You grin down at him. Suddenly Zoro looks a little unsure.

"I ah… I've got class at nine, so I can't." He mutters.

"That's rough, what's your major? I didn't know you were in college." You say genuinely surprised, he's never mentioned that before.

"I… I go to East Blue Academy." Zoro says, glancing away.

You know East Blue Academy, it's a high school. Zoro… is in high school.

"You- what? How old are you?" You ask in wide eyed horror.

"Seventeen…next week." Zoro adds under his breath.

"You're sixteen?! I'm twenty-one! What kind of sixteen year old looks like you anyway?!" You scream hysterically, Zoro might be a little shorter than you but he's built like an MMA fighter.

"Quiet down Sanji! I'm seventeen next week, it's no big deal!" Zoro hisses, clapping his hand over your mouth.

"No big deal?! You're sixteen! I could go to jail!" You wail, how is this happening?

"Barely, and I'm legal anyway!" Zoro argues, red faced and embarrassed.

"BARELY! Thank god I found out now and not…" You trail off shuddering. Now that seems to really upset Zoro, tears flood his eyes and though his mouth is an angry snarl he's shaking slightly and suddenly he looks a lot more like the sixteen that he is.

"Fine then! I actually really liked you but- but I guess you only wanted to get laid. Well, fuck you!" Zoro spits and runs off into the rain, leaving you alone.

The next time you see him is in the changing room at the gym, he's pulling off his school uniform with a scowl and you close your eyes to stop you from staring, secure in the knowledge that you're going to hell. Zoro storms off again and you feel awful. Closing your eyes and sitting down you remind yourself that you really like Zoro and it was the best date you've been on in forever. And, securing your place in hell, you still think he's hot and you really want to see him again. Maybe… maybe you owe him an apology.

Story drabble request: I think we need a romcom AU of adult Sanji accidentally ending up on a date with high school Zoro because Zoro does not look like a teenager.


	7. Chapter 7

So he maybe hasn't got around to apologising to Zoro yet. It isn't his fault, he's five years older than the other guy (okay, four and a bit years, but STILL). And Zoro being the tactful bastard that he was had just dropped that information on him mid-date, so of course he'd freaked out.

He can hardly blame Zoro for getting upset and running off. He can see it from Zoro's point of view, he probably hadn't wanted to say sooner for fear that he'd… well… that he'd freak out like he did. In fairness if he'd known beforehand he wouldn't have asked Zoro out at all. Still, he is the older one here, even if it didn't look like it. He shouldn't have reacted with such fear and horror, he'd really hurt Zoro's feelings.

So he wants to apologise, he really does. More than that he wants to take Zoro out on another date to make up for it, and seeing as he is the mature adult here (yeah right) he'll go out of his way to do so.

Only… the idiot is purposefully avoiding him, he's sure.

He tells himself that it's just because he's thinking of Zoro that he ends up outside the very school that Zoro goes to, though it does happen to be on his route to the city centre.

The object of his thoughts and desires is sprawled out sinfully on the grass, dozing in the sun. Sanji's heart stops dead as he takes in Zoro's crisp white shirt and the blue striped school tie casually loosened around his neck. He's never seen Zoro look so dressed up, or so gorgeous. His face reddens and his heart races.

Zoro yawns and stretches, his shirt riding up and exposing the tan six pack which was one of the things that had convinced Sanji that the other guy was his age.

There's a high pitched shriek and Sanji thinks for a second that he's been spotted ogling schoolboys and so he darts behind a nearby car.

"Oi! Leave me alone!" Zoro's voice shouts out and Sanji's cheeks burn with embarrassment, Zoro saw him then.

"Oh, Zoro! Don't be so mean!" A girly voice giggles.

"Yeah, come on, go out with me Zoro!" Another chirps flirtily.

Wait. What?

Sanji peeks through the window of the car and sees Zoro surrounded by a gaggle of schoolgirls. Zoro has backed against the tree and is looking at all of them with distain.

"Get lost!" He shouts at them, though now there seems to be more.

"He's so cute!"

"And hot!"

"Aaah~ kiss me Zoro!"

They're all swarming around the terrified green haired boy and despite Zoro's clear objections to the whole thing Sanji finds himself brimming with jealousy.

One of them manages to grab Zoro by the tie and haul him in for a dramatic kiss, making Sanji's blood boil. He'd kissed Zoro already and he doesn't want anyone else getting to do that! He… he wants Zoro back.

aphraelemery asked you:

OMG that AU was wonderful! Can i ask for one where Sanji was passing by East Blue Academy and got jealous when he saw Zoro with a ton of girls following him? (Its fine if you dont want to do this exactly, i just want more from this AU ~.~ Anything would be fine!)


	8. Chapter 8

wherethesunmeetsthemoon asked you:

Oh my- I love this AU too! Can I ask for a request too? Maybe with Sanji breaking into the school to try to apologize to Zoro? *huuuugs and cuddles for you because you're awesome*

Zoro lays sprawled out on the top bunk, his leg is jigging with pent up energy. Usually he'd go to the gym when he feels like this but he can't even do that now, not without risking running into Sanji. He whines and rolls onto his front, the cheap school bed sheets scratching at him.

He can handle the rejection, even for something so trivial as age. But… the way Sanji had looked at him when he found out, with a kind of horror and sickness, as if he couldn't imagine anything worse. Even though he's never been on any other dates he's sure that it was an amazing date by any standard.

If he hadn't opened his mouth it could have continued being so, he should have just not said. But what then? Sanji would have taken him to that bar and he would have got carded and the gorgeous irritating blonde would have found out anyway, in a much worse way.

The thing is he misses Sanji. He misses arguing with him, competing with him, all of it. The two of them would even go into the gymnastics studio and spar on the mats and he swears he can put down any loss to being distracted by those low hanging sweatpants Sanji wears.

"Zoro look at this." Luffy calls from the windowsill, it's his best friend's favourite place to sit, looking out onto everything. He grunts and ignores Luffy, he doesn't feel like indulging him now.

"There's this funny blonde guy trying to climb the fence." Luffy laughs.

Zoro is at the window in a second, it could be any blonde guy but it's not. He watches Sanji try to pull himself up the ten foot high school fence, stumble at the top and fall down the other side. He's caught hanging by his coat. The sight pulls a laugh from Zoro's lips. He shoves Luffy aside and opens the window to lean out.

"So, despite what you said you wouldn't have got arrested before, but you might for this." He shouts down with a laugh. Sanji looks up at him with wide startled eyes.

"I- I wanted to see you!" Sanji shouts back at him, flailing in his coat. Zoro laughs again and Sanji manages to drop free to the floor.

"Glad you're finding this so funny." Sanji mutters, straightening himself out.

"Well, you are so much more mature than me, after all I'm practically a kid, aren't I?" Zoro says venomously because like hell he'll let Sanji have his cake and eat it too.

"I'm… sorry." Sanji says, rubbing the back on his neck anxiously.

"You scared me and it's no excuse but I'm sorry. I was an asshole." The blonde apologises earnestly, looking right up at the window to meet his eyes.

"Would you… would you go out with me again?" Sanji asks, sounding worried and uncertain.

"I mean, it's your birthday soon isn't it? You should celebrate." He adds,

"Yeah, we should." Zoro smiles.


	9. Chapter 9

xiggymatsu asked you:

So I just read all three of that au and I think I'm like everybody else who has read it... ಥ_ಥ Can there be more maybe?

sunshinesthroughtheclouds asked you:

Do you still take prompts for that amazing au? If so, maybe a drabble about their second date? Where sanji is still being wary of taking things too far and zoro doesn't know what to do as he has no experience in dating?

myladyday asked you:

everyone likes this AU! :D you know you "have" to write the birthday date now, right? :3:3

I am slightly concerned by the enthusiasm from you lot and I'm starting to wonder if Zoro in school uniform is a thing but this fic-series is funny as hell so I'm not complaining.

Zoro doesn't know if he's easily impressed or if Sanji is just that fucking good. He suspects the latter. Sanji has taken him out on their second date for his birthday and it was completely amazing, they went to some bizarre restaurant that apparently roams from place to place, only staying somewhere for one night, super-secret and with crazy good food. Sanji apparently knows people, whatever the fuck that means.

They've ended up on the beach, panting and out of breath because he challenged Sanji to a race and the two of them are nothing if not competitive. He recovers first and looks down at Sanji's frankly gorgeous body and the way he moves in the moonlight as he breathes harshly.

Seventeen years old or no he's more turned on than he's ever been. He's also inexperienced as fuck as Sanji is the only person he's ever willingly kissed in his life and actually Sanji had been the one to kiss him that time. Still he wouldn't be Roronoa-fucking-Zoro if he wasn't willing to throw himself headlong into things regardless of sanity or knowing what he's doing.

He throws himself at Sanji and clacks his mouth to his and okay, ouch, teeth. Zoro kisses him a little more and Sanji swears in his mouth, no idea if that's a good thing or a bad thing but continuing is a smart idea.

He's seen enough porn floating around school to understand the mechanics of two guys having sex, but porn never covers this making out or foreplay stuff. It's all "hello I'm here to deliver your pizza and bang you" and right into the boning. So he doesn't know really what he's doing but his hormones are screeching at him to do something so he settles for grinding his entire body against Sanji and that's good and it makes Sanji make a pleased noise.

"Ah, shit no, this is bad." Sanji gasps, squirming out from under him. Wow, blow to the ego there.

"So tell me what to do." He says breathlessly and kisses Sanji desperately again.

"Stop. Just… stop. You're seventeen we shouldn't be…" Sanji says, shaking his head.

"Fuck man, if you don't want me why did you nearly hang yourself coming to ask me out again?" He demands, sitting back on his heels and scowling.

"I want you, just…" Sanji pants, "slow down. Seriously, I'll kiss you but this has to go slow."

"Fuck slow, I want-" Zoro snarls, hauling Sanji closer by his belt.

"Slow or not at all, I'm serious here. I can and will kick your ass off of me." Sanji threatens, his deadly foot pressing into Zoro's spleen.

"Shit, fine." He agrees because he really wants whatever Sanji will give him.

"Good. Now, less teeth, hm?" Sanji mocks and leans in to kiss him, his mouth is soft and hot, there's a lot less accidental clashing of teeth when Sanji leads and yeah, he could get used to this. Slow is okay for now.


	10. Chapter 10

radicalelle asked you:

I have a request! The highschooler AU hype had me thinking about a prompt I was thinking of giving you before.. With an appropriately aged Zoro, sadly. I'm sure it's been done before, I'm a pervert and I think you should write about Zoro being a personal trainer for Sanji and Sanji trying very hard not to think inappropriate thoughts, all whilst frustrating Zoro by being an awful student.. Or at least a horribly distracted one. It would make me so happy. :3

It had all been such a good plan. He'd wanted to get stronger, not really fitter as he was already fit and flexible. But sheer strength had been something that Sanji had always quite admired, so he had decided to do something. His friends had told him to get a personal trainer for weight lifting, one of those crossfit guys, someone who knew what they were doing. A few months of that and he'd know enough on his own to keep on top of his progress and only need to check in occasionally.

It had sounded like such a good plan.

The first time he'd met Zoro the man was positively glistening with sweat, looking like some cross between a fitness magazine cover and a porno. Zoro had shaken his hand and introduced himself and Sanji had only been able to make vowel sounds in response as all his blood shot south.

And it's not that he's even bad at what Zoro's trying to teach him either, far from it. He's just… distracted. It's hard to watch Zoro demo things without all his higher brain functions just shutting down as such learning was proving hard.

"So, look." Zoro sighs frustrated as he steps up to the barbell on the floor for the umpteenth time.

"It's just a clean and jerk, not too heavy either. Just grab here, this far apart." Zoro explains, bending down and wrapping chalked up hands around the barbell.

"Uh-huh." Sanji agrees, watching as Zoro settles himself into position.

"Just slow up to your hang position here." Zoro says, holding the bar mid-thigh and now… now this focusing thing was a little harder as Zoro's shorts were practically painted on here and, no, Sanji can do this. FOCUS.

"Keep your arms straight, don't row it. Rack the bar, getting under it quickly. Bring your hips through, like this." Zoro says, snapping his hips forward and dropping under the bar as Sanji's brain melts out of his ears.

"Mmm." He hums instead noncommittal. Zoro is saying something else, shit, now the bar is over his head. How did that happen? Shiiiiit.

"Now you." Zoro says, stepping back and gesturing to Sanji.

Oh no, none of that has gone into his head, he had been too busy leering.

Still, he needs to try. He grabs the bar and does what he remembers, though this isn't what he'd exactly call "not too heavy". He gets to the point where he got distracted by Zoro's shorts and panics. Zoro is watching him, teeth worrying at one of his perfect kissable lips.

He wings it, knowing vaguely what he's supposed to do. But as the bar flies up before him he has a moment of panic for his wrists and doesn't catch it where he should, gravity takes hold yanking him and the bar mercilessly to the floor with a clang.

Zoro sighs and Sanji knows he's the worst student ever. Though… maybe with a few years more coaching from Zoro…


	11. Chapter 11

radicalelle asked you:

I am going to start feeding you prompts and seeing what sticks: Knife play. It screams Zosan. I don't think any further explanation is needed.

He'd been bitten by some nasty insect motherfucker on some big jungle island, trying to put himself between the petrified cook and the bug as it happened and then got bitten for his trouble. He'd tried to yank the stinger out of the back of his shoulder but doing so had just caused more of the venom to pump into his system and then his legs had stopped working.

Sanji had dragged him back to the ship where Chopper was nowhere to be found and he'd really like that stinger removed now please and thank you. Sanji had quickly surmised that yanking it out wasn't an option, anything that squeezed the stinger shot more venom into his system and that really wasn't nice.

So he's shirtless and on his knees with his back to Sanji on the kitchen floor and at any other time this would be a great thing. Clearly not all of him has got the message because for some reason the sound of Sanji pulling a knife out of the knife block makes him half hard. It's just because it's a Sanji sound, that's all. Sense memories of Sanji in the kitchen is all.

"I'm going to hurt you, but you have to trust me." Sanji murmurs lowly and Zoro can just see the knife out of the corner of his eye. He nods.

He can feel the blade radiating cold onto his back and the damn thing hasn't touched him yet but his entire body breaks out into anticipatory goosebumps. Sanji's always been fantastic with a blade and damn if he hasn't thought about him with a blade before, but Sanji's never used them on him because of the danger of a fight. Only… only he's not fighting at all.

The blade kisses his skin and there's a second of resistance before the oh-so-sharp blade sinks through his skin like butter. The stroke is light, only running through skin and not hitting muscle at all. He keeps deadly still as a bead of blood runs down his spine, it makes sense, all of the blood inside his body is heading south too.

Sanji's blade curves cutting into his skin around the stinger and slitting him downwards more. Zoro whines in his throat. Sanji was meant to do this, born for it. Why the HELL has this never occurred to him before. It's not even the pain, it's the control, the absolute stillness required from him and the trust that Sanji has in him to do just that.

He's shuddering and gasping when the blade is taken away and Sanji's fingers replace the blade and holy god Sanji's fingers are inside him in a way that they've never been before and when he digs the stinger out from the inside and it's just Sanji there then he finally breaks and comes with a yelp.

"Did you just?" Sanji breathes in wonder. But Zoro can't answer, he's shaking, still high and they need to do this again sometime.


	12. Chapter 12

raiinedays asked you:

I'm sure someone's probably asked this already but, poledancer!Sanji au?

I've had loads of requests for this so…

God, Zoro knows he shouldn't be here. They work together and he really should not be thinking of Sanji this way. Sanji is his friend, capable, strong as hell and fun to be around. He's always teased Sanji for the fact that he runs some of the more lady-themed classes at the fitness centre they work at, but Sanji's just smugly pointed out that it means he gets to see ladies working up a sweat.

He's standing open mouthed in the doorway to Sanji's studio, his class should have finished so he'd decided to swing by only to find Sanji giving a demonstration to a few stragglers who are clearly watching Sanji for teaching purposes and not for the mental porn purposes that Zoro is frozen there for.

You see… amongst other things Sanji teaches the pole classes. Pole dancing that is. And right now he's hanging upside down on a pole suspended… somehow (surely not JUST by his hands how is that possible?). The blonde's hair is flowing loose and his body ripples against the pole, every flex and sinew viewable just under his hiked up sleeveless tank.

Sanji lowers himself, keeping his arms where they are so he's just one long lean arc of perfection against that pole. He turns in the air, nothing against the pole but one hand and a few toes because apparently gravity doesn't exist in here.

Zoro's mouth runs dry as Sanji reaches, his other arm grasping the pole and everything in his back and shoulders flexing as his body straightens itself so he's ninety degrees away from the pole like some kind of human flag.

Sanji's legs split impossibly wide and the blonde shifts himself effortlessly forward on the pole so that the tops of his shoulders are just touching it, one leg coming on the other side of his hand, a bare foot pointing towards the ceiling. That sheer level of flexibility has Zoro trembling with a kind of primal want that he's simply never experienced before, but he can't move, can't do anything because what he's frozen under the blonde's spell.

Sanji arches and hooks his knee around the pole, freeing his hands from it as he spins slowly in the air like a child's toy as he rotates down the pole to the floor. His other bare foot graces the ground and the women watching applaud.

Sanji's blue eyes slide open and his gaze is immediately on Zoro, as if he could see him even through his closed eyes. Like he knew Zoro was watching him the whole time.

A slow, lazy smirk spreads over Sanji's face. It must be evident just what he's thinking on his face, Sanji can see it, surely. His eyes feel as wide as saucers and he's struggling to breathe properly. Sanji's smirk gets even wider as he flicks his leg off of the pole, his hips shift all liquid and sex as the blonde shoots him a challenging look.

Well?

Zoro runs.


	13. Chapter 13

ragtagg asked you:

Prompt request: The world needs more protective older sister Robin. If she could show up in that high school Zoro AU to freak Sanji out, that would be awesome. She'd be the BEST cockblock ever, popping up like a ninja everywhere, smiling her creepy assassin smile...

He'd done quite well of keeping to his rules with Zoro, the biggest mistake he'd made so far was telling the seventeen-year-old about said rules. It only made the bastard more tempted to break them. Sanji had been the one who wanted to take things slow and Zoro was doing everything in his power to break him.

Zoro has Sanji shoved against the driver's side door inside his car doing his best to kiss him to death. That would be okay if it wasn't for the fact that they were a) parked outside Zoro's school and b) Zoro seemed to be determined to grope him enough to almost qualify as a handjob despite the jeans in the way.

When a car with its full beams on roars past Sanji's car close enough to almost clip his wing mirror, Zoro is startled enough that Sanji manages to separate himself from the overly enthusiastic teenager.

"Yeah, goodnight to you too." He pants against Zoro's mouth.

"Night." Zoro agrees and gives Sanji's bottom lip one last bite and leaves.

Sanji settles himself straight in the driver's seat and tries to get his pulse under control.

His door opens again and Sanji rolls his eyes, what excuse has Zoro made up to come back? Only… when he looks over it's not Zoro in his car but a menacing looking lady with angry blue eyes and black hair.

"How about you explain why you're corrupting my baby brother and if your answer's good enough I don't slit your throat." She says in a deadly voice. Sanji wants to crawl out of the window in fear, this is his worst nightmare.

"I… I really like him. He's legal but I don't want to take advantage so I'm trying to take things slow but Zoro…" Sanji struggles to find a way to explain.

"My little brother can be obsessively persistent when he wants to be." The woman concedes.

"Here's a deal. I'll be watching you. If you do anything untoward to my brother or you go too far with him, I'll break your fingers. If you break his heart, I'll break your neck." She threatens.

"That doesn't sound like much of a deal." Sanji squeaks in fear.

"The deal is that for now you get to live." She hisses and exists the car, leaving Sanji a trembling wreck.

Sanji doesn't say anything to Zoro, he doesn't know if he's allowed but doesn't want to risk it. Not after finding a threatening note inside his bed. After a few days though he and Zoro are on another date together because he has a hard time saying no to Zoro.

Zoro has his hand in Sanji's back pocket and is shamelessly groping him as they walk down the street. His blood freezes in his veins as they walk by a café and the woman from his nightmares is sitting there. She draws a finger across her throat and Sanji knows that Zoro is gonna be the death of him.


	14. Chapter 14

radicalelle asked you:

Everyone knows that cute fluffy things and small children are drawn to Zoro like cat hair to a freshly dried black shirt.. So what about a scenario where Zoro is being his oddly compassionate self towards a little furry critter, effectively confusing Sanji's perception of the swordsman. :D

Sanji wonders if his beautiful Robin put something sinister in his coffee this morning because he simply has to be hallucinating. There is no way that what he's seeing right now can be real at all. He wasn't even supposed to be on the ship today, they'd docked at an island and he was supposed to be off ship whilst Chopper was on watch. He'd just got so caught up in doing inventory that he'd never left, when he had eventually got around to going he'd glanced out the porthole in the kitchen to see something that clearly is evidence of some kind of mental breakdown.

He's not sure if it's his or Zoro's that he's witnessing is all.

Zoro is rude, surly, he smells to high heaven most of the time and he's a mean crotchety bastard. He's got no respect for women and sometimes he wears a smile that'd make a serial killer piss their pants. Which is why what Sanji is seeing has to be wrong.

Because what he's seeing is Zoro standing on deck with a curled up cat in one arm and a whole armful of kittens in the other. There's even one tiny fluffy kitten perched in Zoro's marimo hair for the love of fuck! This can't be right!

"Chopper please help her." Zoro pleads softly to the little doctor standing on deck.

"Her kittens were attacked by a dog and I think she broke her leg defending them. I didn't get in between them quick enough." Zoro adds with a sad look. The injured cat in his arms mewls pathetically and Sanji can see the blood on its paw.

What Sanji wants to know is why Chopper isn't as stunned by this display as he is, why isn't Chopper demanding to know who this lookalike is and where the real Zoro is?

"Zoro, I might be a doctor who is an animal, but I'm not an animal doctor. You know you can't keep bringing every critter that you find to me on every island, they need a vet." Chopper sighs, rubbing his forehead.

"You've helped before, please Chopper look at her. She was so brave." Zoro insists, cradling the cat closely.

"I'll help, give her here. Seriously though Zoro, I know you pay me to replace the medical supplies that this takes up each time but a vet is still a better idea." The doctor sighs, taking the cat from Zoro.

"Thank you Chopper!" Zoro calls after the reluctant doctor.

The tiny kittens mew anxiously at the departure of their mother.

"Hey, your mother's going to be fine, don't worry." Zoro murmurs comfortingly, stroking the little creatures.

Sanji isn't sure he could shut his jaw right now even if you tried to nail it shut. How can the Zoro that he knows, the rude, snarky and irritating man be… be so soft?

Perhaps, Sanji considers in shock as he watches Zoro nuzzle a kitten close, there's a side to him he doesn't know.


	15. Chapter 15

partialnerdity asked you:

HOLY CRAP THAT DRABBLE WITH ZORO AND THE CATS WAS SO CUTE CAN YOU CONTINUE IT LIKE MAYBE SANJI APPROACHES HIM WHEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN ON ANOTHER ISLAND OR SOMETHING YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL YOUR WRITING IS AMAZING A;DFLKJAS;DLFKJADS;LFKJASD;LFKJAS;DFLKJ

Stalking is such a strong word. Sanji isn't so much stalking the kitten rescuing swordsman he is just… following him without his consent or knowledge.

Shut up, it's not the same.

He just needs to know if this whole animal lover thing is really a regular occurrence. He's not sure what it means if it is. Perhaps he's been too harsh on Zoro, perhaps really Zoro is just a gentle soul contained within an unfortunate looking bastard shell. He's not sure how he feels about that either.

He doesn't have to follow Zoro for long on the next island before it happens again. Some stable hands yell about how a wolf got into the stables and attacked the horses, apparently only one is left alive but from the tone that they're shouting about it in Sanji reckons this isn't going to be a permanent state.

Zoro takes off like his ass is on fire and Sanji has a hard time keeping up with the idiot without being seen. The horse in question is stumbling around in the field near the town, bleeding heavily from a bite mark in its side. Zoro skids into the middle of a group of people, there's one guy on the floor, clutching his arm like it's broken.

"Why isn't anyone helping it?" Zoro demands, looking about them.

"I would, if someone could calm it and get it to lay down. I can't treat her otherwise!" A man with a big medical looking bag exclaims, Sanji guesses he must be a vet.

"Psh, damn thing broke my arm and knocked two guys out, kill the fuckin' thing!" The guy on the floor snarls.

"You should be ashamed of your weakness." Zoro says coldly, glaring unsympathetically at the guy on the floor.

Okay, so, yeah that was still Zoro. Rude as fuck and unsympathetic.

"I'll do it." He declares and slowly walks towards the skittish bleeding horse.

Zoro's steps are calm and measured, he doesn't walk directly to the horse, more loops to the side and sidles up to it, nonthreatening and calm. Sanji slinks closer so that he can hear.

"Easy… easy girl." Zoro breathes soothingly as the horse unsteadily backs up, snorting angrily and stamping at the ground.

For a second the horse lifts its hooves and Sanji swears that it's going to kick Zoro, but the swordsman is quick, darting in and pressing a hand against its neck and rubbing the other over its velvety nose soothingly. The horse seems to calm.

"There we go, just lay down here and the vet will patch you right up. Come on." Zoro says, soft and sweet. He strokes the creature's mane and kneels down, the horse miraculously coming with him and, with a pitiful whinny, resting its giant head in Zoro's lap.

"Get over here you useless sons of bitches." Zoro orders the men over his shoulder.

Sanji… doesn't know what to make of this but he wonders what else he doesn't know about Zoro.


	16. Chapter 16

blackandblueskys asked you:

Prompt: Zoro and Sanji go to the pet store and fight over which one to adopt

Zoro and Sanji had both agreed that the Sunny could use a pet, they had both agreed to go to the pet store on the island to get one, they both agreed that the younger crew members could use something to play with and both of them agreed that it might be nice to share a pet too. It wasn't like they were gonna have kids together after all. In conclusion, lots of agreement and no fighting was happening.

This is a state that rarely lasts for long.

Upon entering the pet shop each of them split off into opposite sides of the store, Zoro to the dogs and Sanji to the cats.

"Cook, what are you doing over there? The dogs are here!" Zoro calls from his area. He spies a golden lab and strokes the excited puppy happily.

"I know idiot, that's why I'm over here with the cats." Sanji replies.

"Why'd you want a cat, they suck." He scowls, meeting the cook in the middle of the store again.

"No way, dogs are pathetic, we're not getting a dog." Sanji argues back.

"Look at that thing, you've barely taken your eyes off of it and it's already fawning over the next lot of people, look." Sanji points out. Zoro looks back to see a girl stroking the puppy who is wagging its tail happily and panting in excitement.

"If it gives its affection away that easy it's meaningless." Sanji snorts.

"It's just friendly, dogs are loyal. And they're smart too, they're protective pack animals, they look after weaker creatures. Unlike your cat." Zoro says.

"I've got enough people to look after without having to baby some mutt. Cats are independent hunters who take care of themselves, you don't have to worry about a cat. Besides, when you really win a cat over it's special. Look, it might be all standoffish now but if you're patient enough it'll love you more than anything." Sanji points out leaning down to scratch the cat behind its ears. The green eyed cat eyes Sanji like something it's only going to tolerate for now, but lets itself be petted anyway.

"Cats are lazy, all they do is eat and sleep." Zoro sneers.

"No, they're efficient. Cats are deadly hunters, you'll never see a mouse on a ship with a cat, unlike your useless pup." Sanji growls.

"Dogs are descended from wolves, threaten a dog's master and you'll see how deadly they can be underneath all that tail-wagging."

"FINE! We won't get either! Let's GO!" Sanji barks angrily, shoving Zoro out of the pet shop.

They both end up back at the ship still furiously arguing about the merits of each pet. Nami regards the bickering idiots from her place at her sun lounger before she feels she has to intervene.

"Eesh, you two aren't responsible enough for pets anyway. Maybe when you two stop fighting like cat and dog yourselves you can look into getting a pet. Maybe a monkey." Nami suggests.


	17. Chapter 17

supectra-impact asked you:

How about that highschool!Zoro AU when Zoro 'accidentally' read a flirty dirty message from another guy for Sanji on Sanji's phone?

Zoro sprawls across Sanji's couch, loosening his school tie and throwing it on the coffee table. Sanji's taking him out to see a movie but he declared that he had to go home and shower after work as apparently he smelt like the Baratie's special and couldn't stand it. It really blows, he'd far rather be in there with Sanji than out here on his own.

A ping distracts him and, glancing around, he spots Sanji's phone on the sofa arm. The message flashes up onscreen and Zoro automatically reads without thinking.

Patty: You dirty fuck, Sanji. Can't wait 2 get my hands on u! Ur mouth-

Zoro's breath leaves him in a sharp burst, as if he's been punched in the gut. Was Sanji cheating on him? He… he knows that he and the cook haven't really done anything but that's been Sanji's call not his! Why… why would Sanji…?

No. No, this doesn't prove anything. He just… he has to trust Sanji no matter how suspicious things seem. The bedroom door clicks open and Zoro flings himself back on the sofa away from the phone and throws his arm over his eyes.

"Your phone beeped." He says flatly, not looking.

"Thanks, hey… you tired or something? We can just stay here if you're beat." Sanji offers in concern, peeling Zoro's arm away. Zoro shrugs and Sanji glances at his phone. Zoro watches as Sanji's nose wrinkles in disgust. He clicks at his phone and reads the message, his lips pursing.

"Give me a sec." Sanji says, standing up and dialling the number. Zoro can hardly believe it, if Sanji is cheating on him he has some gall to call the other guy with him right here!

"Oi, Patty! I don't have a smart mouth, you're just a dumbass. I'm not the "filthy fuck" that left your workstation all in a mess, Carne was there after me. So take your filthy mouthed bitching to someone else, no wonder you drive off customers talking like that. Asshole." Sanji snaps down the phone and immediately hangs up.

"Fucker." Sanji adds irritably and shoves his phone in his tight jeans pocket. Zoro looks Sanji up and down, the blonde looks perfectly edible and… and it's just for him.

"Who was that?" He asks.

"Oh, Patty that I work with. Bitching that someone left his station a mess, guy has a fuckin' foul mouth and that's coming from me! Said he was gonna wring my neck, like he could." Sanji snorts. Zoro relaxes, it really had just been a misunderstanding.

"Now, how about you? You okay?" Sanji asks looking at him with a small frown.

"Yeah, I'm good. Maybe we could just stay here though?" He suggests with a purr.

"I could make you dinner and I'm sure I've got at a movie here you'll like." Sanji smiles, kissing Zoro lightly.

"I'd like that." Zoro replies back with a lazy smile and grabs his cook, no one else's, into a long slow kiss.


	18. Chapter 18

I was getting a lot of nonspecific requests to continue this highschool AU so I did, hope you all like.

Robin doesn't always get to see her baby brother as much as she'd like, she had to travel a lot for work but Zoro is fine in the boarding school that she herself had gone to when they were younger. She tries to get back to see him as often as she can though, she calls him regularly too and Zoro does call her if he ever needs to talk. They don't have a particularly expressive relationship but it's a strong one nonetheless.

Still, she tries to make it back for the anniversary of Kuina's death if she can. Zoro is usually down for the whole week around it.

He usually is anyway.

Right now however Zoro looks as happy as ever, happier than usual even. Her baby brother has his arms around the waist of his new boyfriend, the one she'd just threatened so recently. Robin watches the pair studiously from behind her shades in her parked car. The older man is clearly trying to concentrate on the book that he's reading despite Zoro draping himself over Sanji. He's ignoring him but Zoro has a way of getting attention when he wants it.

Zoro reaches over the blonde's shoulders and pulls the book out of his hand, tossing it a little way down the grassy hill in the park that the two are sat on. Zoro leans over and bites Sanji on the ear. Robin smiles as the blonde makes a big show of huffing irritably and rolling his eyes, but she can see the gentle smile on his face.

Zoro's grin is huge as he laughs and talks to him and despite her instinctive feelings that no one should be allowed to date her baby brother Robin can't help but think that the two make a cute couple. Sanji catches Zoro by the chin and pulls him in for a kiss that Zoro is so overeager for that Robin finds himself cringing in reflected embarrassment for him.

For better or worse her little brother is completely smitten. She smiles at the pair but is startled when someone nearby yells something crudely homophobic at them. Her blood boils as Zoro's face flashes fear and a hint of shame.

Sanji is a picture of righteous fury though and leaps to his feet screaming quite creative obscenities back at the man who wisely backs off and disappears.

Robin watches, her first instinct is to grab Zoro into her arms and try to comfort him, like she did when Zoro was a small child with nightmares. Her brother can't stand that now though. Whether deliberately or instinctively Sanji doesn't do this, he sits down ranting and angry and evidently his pent up rage is enough to make Zoro burst out laughing. The blonde squawks indignantly and shoves her little brother in a way that quickly descends into an incredibly childish fight with Zoro grinning all the way.

Perhaps, Robin concludes, her baby brother doesn't need such careful watching these days.


	19. Chapter 19

krito1389

Awesome i loved it haha i totally can picture that scene ...how about one in which sanji is the one in highschool and zoro the adult ?!

You don't get it, not right away. He's always accused you of being slow but now you're inclined to agree. The he in question being Sanji, the bratty, snarling, scrawny guy at your gym. He's "seven-fucking-teen" as he furiously informed you when you enquired after his age by insulting him (because as the mature adult here that's how you deal with that).

Poor guy is a hardgainer, which means he'll never in his life get fat, his metabolism works way too fucking fast for that. Unfortunately it means he pretty much has to eat near his bodyweight in food and work out like hell to get even the faintest semblance of real bulk. Which makes what he has now all the more impressive. He's not ripped, not really, but he's lean as hell and all muscle in a way that reminds you of one of those small but powerful motorbikes, all purring dangerous sleekness.

And so, yes, you've harboured a bit of a thing for him for a while but you'd mentally crossed him off as too young to go there and just enjoyed irritating him instead. One night he follows you out of the gym and watches you as you toss your car keys up and down in the air as you stretch lazily and prepare to walk to your car. Quick as lightning one long skinny leg whips out and kicks the keys clean out of the air and off into the car park somewhere.

"You fuck!" You snarl at Sanji, because of course it's Sanji. The blonde snarls at you and slams you back into the wall, only just managing to do so because of your surprise goddamnit.

There's a clash of teeth in Sanji's desperate bid to kiss you, his fists curling in the front of your under armour shirt. The blonde is trying to overpower you but he lacks the experience and physical size to do it properly so you turn the tables on him.

His breath does this beautiful fluttering hitch when you bracket him against the wall and grind your hips into his. You kiss him back and show him how it's done, pulling a beautiful needy whine from him. When you draw back he's giving you this big wide eyed blue stare like he can't quite believe this is happening and you wonder just how long he's been planning this, thinking about it.

That flash of vulnerability makes him look young and you remember that it's because, oh yeah, he is young.

"You sure you wanna be doing this? You're only-" You start and Sanji's face turns into a nasty scowl and he presses a threatening knee into your junk.

"If the next word outta your trap is anything to do with my age then I swear, I don't care how much I want what's in your pants I'll knee you so hard you'll grow ovaries." The blonde snarls all fierce and just how you like him.

"Well okay then." You smile.


	20. Chapter 20

xpiester333x asked you:

A writing prompt: I know you just did a knife play prompt, but I've noticed it's always Zoro that seems to get enjoyment out of that (of course because he's a swordsman). I'd like to see the reverse though, where Sanji (with his love of his kitchen implements) is the one with a blade fetish.

Sanji's breath hitches, making Zoro pause, his little finger pushing the rest of his hand away from Sanji's body.

"I'm okay, s'great, keep going." He says breathless and Zoro eyes him for a second before returning to what he was doing.

What he was doing in fact was cutting Sanji up. It's his thing really, though he knows full well that Zoro gets off on seeing him like this. The swordsman has a blade, a perfect kitchen knife that is never actually used in Sanji's kitchen. Zoro looks after it, keeps it as sharp as his swords just for this.

Zoro moves the knife as delicately and precisely as a painter uses a paintbrush, he's dragging it across Sanji's skin. The swordsman is delicate enough to cut him just enough to leave a scratch but not bleed, or he can give him a stinging papercut-like slice and if he chooses he can cut Sanji to make him bleed. Everything that Zoro does is deliberate and calculated.

Zoro's hand shifts on Sanji's thigh, close enough to his groin to make the slight buck of Sanji's hips irrepressible even though he's trying so hard to keep still. Zoro had already anticipated that and pulled the knife back. Zoro has never cut him by accident, it's why Sanji trusts him so much.

"Sorry." He apologises, pleasure hazed.

"Heh, it's fine. You're good, real good." Zoro purrs, leaning over him and kissing him, dragging the blunt edge of the blade up Sanji's ribs as he does so and making the cook keen needily.

Truth be told the knife-play had started first and the sex later. Zoro had caught him using it on himself and put two and two together to make five. The swordsman had all but tried to haul him off to Chopper for a talk on self-harm until Sanji had convinced him that it was far more self-pleasure than it was self-harm. The idiot hadn't believed him and Sanji had challenged him to try him, on a whim, only when Zoro dragged the blade on Sanji's skin oh so delicately and ripped a whine from Sanji did the swordsman believe. Sanji of course had caught the dark excited look it had brought in Zoro, hearing him make that noise, and so their little arrangement had started.

"Come on, deeper." Sanji hisses, trying to lean up into the blade as Zoro runs it down Sanji's hip, slicing but doing no real damage that'll show at all in more than a day or two.

"Oi, you know the rules. I'm in charge here or you get nothing." Zoro reprimands, slapping Sanji's thigh with the flat of his blade and making Sanji's skin tingle pleasantly.

"Yes, but… please?" Sanji asks, eyeing Zoro hopefully.

"Tch, goddamn love-cook." Zoro accuses affectionately and carefully lets the blade bite in deeper, trailing a line of Sanji's blood down his pale thigh and making him moan and press his face to Zoro's neck. Sanji wouldn't trade this for the world.


	21. Chapter 21

radicalelle asked you:

Holy jesus! Zoro using a knife on Sanji is FANTASTIC. If you were to write another of these, could you switch the perspectives again, but retain the intimate nature of this one?

The first time he caught Sanji he was drawn into a panic, thinking that the cook was trying to kill himself or something. Sanji had to kick his ass to the ground and explain that it was more about getting off than it was hurting himself.

He'd done what he always did when he thought the cook was bullshitting him, he pushed him. Sanji had smiled smugly like he was getting what he wanted and pulled Zoro to the ground. He'd pressed the knife into his hand, peeled his shirt off and eyeballed him.

"Try me." He'd challenged.

Though he'd been scared of really hurting the cook the blonde had walked him through the beginning of it until he'd caught on that it was less to do with pain and more to do with control. Sanji was trusting him, giving him the ability to mutilate or kill him, lying out like some skinned rabbit completely defenceless and trusting that Zoro had him.

If he'd wanted to he could have gutted the cook, he could have carved his name into the blonde's body for all to see, just so they'd know how messed up the cook was. But watching the way Sanji's jaw went slack and his eyes glazed over as the knife pulled thin ribbons of crimson through that perfect pale skin… how could he want anything else?

He might have been the one with the knife but Sanji was the one in control. Sanji knew that he could grab Zoro at any time and make him use that blade on him, Zoro couldn't say no. He was fascinated with this headspace that Sanji got into, all boneless and trusting with wide doe eyes and the softest whimpers. He got it by then, he really did. The cook was so controlled and put together the rest of the time, always on top of what everyone else was doing. So he needed this, he needed time to be able to shove all the control into someone else's hands, his hands (and how the hell did he ever get so lucky to deserve that?). Sanji needed time to just be real and raw, to just be the one to be at someone else's whim.

It filled Zoro's chest full to bursting that it was him that Sanji trusted for that. He loved the cook for it more than he could possibly say, but he didn't want to risk everything for it. He knew that it was kind of an erotic thing for the cook too but that didn't mean that he wanted to share that as well and Zoro would never abuse his trust when he was under to press the matter.

One time he couldn't hold his feelings back anymore and kissed the cook before they started. Sanji had blinked at him in surprise once, twice and then grinned.

"Fuck yeah." The cook had smiled, dragging him to the floor and forgetting about the blade for once. Zoro couldn't be happier.


	22. Chapter 22

sunshinesthroughtheclouds asked you:

I really love your highschool!zoro drabbles. They are so cute and funny. The last one nearly broke my heart. In this AU I imagine that Sanji is/was a real player before Zoro. So if you still open to it, could you write a drabble were Sanji's friends find out about Zoro and that Sanji is taking things slow? Thank you!

"He's clearly still in school, check the uniform out." Patty snorts, eyeballing Zoro and his friends through the kitchen porthole window.

"You're a real pervert you know, how old is he?" Carne asks with wide eyes, shoving Patty aside to see for himself.

"He's seventeen, which is legal!" You add, as if that makes it better. You glance through the window yourself, Zoro is with a few of his friends, you've not met them yet. Meeting them was what you were supposed to be doing tonight but you couldn't leave until Zeff got here and the old man had got held up in a traffic jam at the other side of the city, fucking typical.

"Was he legal when you hit that for the first time?" Patty asks with a waggle of his eyebrows.

"We've not- don't be so crude." You flush, shaking your head.

"What? Bullshit are you dating a nubile seventeen year old schoolboy-" Carne starts,

"With the uniform and everything." Patty adds,

"Yeah, no way is that happening and you've not got some of that ass." Carne snorts disbelievingly.

You squeeze your eyes shut and take a calming breath. Like bedding Zoro isn't all you think about all the time these days. Like you don't jerk off every day to the image of showing him just what you can do, just how good you can make him feel. But you're his first boyfriend and he's a virgin too, you want to do this right and give him the best first time ever.

Not that Zoro appreciates it, the little shit. He's doing everything that he can to get into your pants, trying to push your control. You've managed to keep him at bay so far by going down on each other but Zoro's a persistent little shit when he wants something. It's half the reason you like him. Except right now what Zoro wants is you, so it's not so great.

"Okay… I buy it. No one looks that sexually frustrated when they're getting laid." Patty frowns at you.

You grumble and shove yourself away from your chopping board and go wash your hands, you're worse than useless right now and you're not going to mutilate any food because of it.

"I'm not frustrated, I'm taking it slow." You answer waspishly because, okay, yeah a little frustrated.

"But… since when do you take anything slow? You're all wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, love 'em and leave 'em type." Patty asks with a frown. You scowl at him for that but… there's some truth to that. You've always enjoyed pursuing lovers and getting your prize more than anything. In truth whilst you've had many flings and lovers Zoro is your first boyfriend too, it's real relationship and you so badly don't want to screw it up.

"He's different." You answer, looking through the window at Zoro. His eyes catch yours and his face breaks into that perfect smile that makes your heart clench.

"You got it baaaad." Patty whistles.

Yeah, you do.


	23. Chapter 23

pictures-of-whaa asked you:

Drabble request: Sanji is a mafia boss and Zoro is one of his underlings

"A lookout?! A fucking lookout?! I should be on point for this heist!" Jabra yells, slamming his fist into the table. Sanji rolls his eyes, such ego.

Zoro moves from Sanji's side so fast that the don is sure that he's the only one in the room that actually saw the swordsman move. Jabra's first knowledge that Zoro has moved is when he's one deep exhale away from a slit throat as Zoro crouches on the table before him with sword in hand.

"Listen here, Sanji is the boss and you're not. Sanji is the one who planned this heist and he has a reason for all his decisions, now if Sanji says you're lookout, then you're a lookout." Zoro says with quiet menace. Jabra swallows, a bead of blood runs down his neck.

"You will respect him. If Sanji says you're the fucking Easter Bunny then guess what you are?" Zoro hisses.

"The Easter Bunny?" Jabra squeaks. Zoro nods, withdrawing his sword and leaping back to Sanji's side.

"You're all dismissed." Sanji nods and leaves the room with Zoro as his shadow. Once they are alone Sanji tugs his all too willing lover into the bed, though the swords as always stay within reach.

Zoro is thrown through Sanji's office door bloodied and clutching something.

"Not so fast Don Sanji, I'm in charge now." Jabra shouts loudly, coming through the door with a gun pointed at Sanji's head.

Zoro looks up at him from the floor, one eye starting to swell shut. The thing is Zoro's arms is a child, these thugs threatened a child to get Zoro to surrender and then attacked him too.

"You're idiots." Sanji mutters, looking at Jabra and his accomplice Fukuro.

"No, we're in charge now." Jabra hisses, jabbing the gun at Sanji again.

"You thought; if only Zoro wasn't always in the way, then I could take Sanji myself. Then I would be boss. You thought that the don was scared and hiding behind someone strong you could only defeat by playing dirty." Sanji nods, looking at the kid.

"It worked and now your guard dog is out of commission there's nothing to stop us!" Jabra crows.

"Whereas, you really should have thought "why someone as strong as Zoro does everything the don says?" Especially as Zoro can't stand weakness." Sanji remarks casually and inspects his nails.

Fukuro comes into range just as Jabra's expression becomes confused. Sanji kicks out, dropping Fukuro's broken and burning body to the ground in the blink of an eye. He spins and presses his burning shoe into Jabra's gun, melting his way down the metal. Jabra trembles in fear.

"You're out Jabra." Sanji hisses and snaps his neck with a kick.

Sanji turns to Zoro and runs a gentle hand through his hair.

"Take that poor kid home, then come back here, we've got a warning to deliver love." He whispers, kissing Zoro's temple softly.

"Gladly." Zoro grins evilly, standing by Sanji's side – right where he belongs.


	24. Chapter 24

reviewstomaster2 asked you:

*looks around* Is this where you can post the prompts? If not then I'm going to embarrass myself HUGELY. 'Ere it is: Zoro and Sanji are playing a game of chess which turns into a dance off. Get jiggy wit it.

That was a really challenging prompt, I hope it's what you wanted though. Bring the prompts on man, I can take it! :D

Sanji and Zoro are playing chess, neither are very good but there are only so many things that you can do at sea before you start whittling your time down to the really inane shit.

"I don't know why you're bothering with this cook, I'm gonna kick your ass, like I always do." Zoro declares, taking one of Sanji's pawns.

"You're an idiot. I've met more intelligent sea sponges, you're gonna lose." Sanji retorts, taking one of Zoro's pawns.

"This from the guy who talks to sponges. Anyway, I'm better than you at everything." Zoro boasts, taking a rook.

"Everything?!" The cook squawks maliciously knocking over Zoro's queen.

"Well, not cooking or being a noodle over women. But everything else, yes. Checkmate." Zoro responds, moving his final piece.

Sanji screams and smacks Zoro over the head with the board and promptly storms off, because that's what mature adults do.

"No way are you better than me at everything, name one thing." Sanji shouts at Zoro the next day because a grudge is a grudge.

"Handstands." Zoro remarks simply.

"You're fucking on." Sanji laughs.

The handstand competition begins and quickly becomes painful as neither man wants to give up, eventually though Zoro's upper body strength holds out for a few precious seconds after Sanji collapses. After that there is a competition to see who can hold their breath the longest, which Zoro also wins, the same happens with a staring contest. The more things that Sanji loses to Zoro at, the angrier and more determined to win he becomes.

The next island that they come to is obsessed with music. All day musicians jam in the streets and at night hundreds of buildings fling their doors open for any kind of music that anyone might wish to hear. There are bluesy bars, classical auditoriums, grungy rock pits, everything anyone could ever want.

Sanji is drawn to a building with bright flashing lights and thumping bass that he can feel in every bone in his body, reverberating through his lungs. Sanji hauls Zoro inside with a shouted challenge, Zoro doesn't quite get it until Sanji starts dancing.

Zoro tries to compete with Sanji, he really does. He gets the rhythm of the music and manages to move to it but he's always slightly behind Sanji. Sanji however almost seems to be orchestrating the music himself, they're so in synch.

Sanji can't help but notice that with each roll of his hips, with each flex of his body Zoro becomes less and less coordinated, his movements almost clumsy. The marimo's cheeks are flushed and Sanji suspects that it's more than just exertion at play. He slides seamlessly into the space beside Zoro and gets into his space, every move challenging and overpowering, every beat and sway flustering the swordsman more.

"Looks like I'm better at dancing and flirting than you." He laughs in the other man's ear, but from the way Zoro grips Sanji's hips he doesn't think that the man cares anymore.


	25. Chapter 25

raiinedays asked you:

Zoro's an underwear model and Sanji's caters for the companies photoshoots?

Zeff had told him that the event he'd be catering for was a shoot for underwear models, he implied that there would be women in skimpy lingerie. Instead it's a male model shoot and the models are malnourished assholes. They keep picking his food apart and wasting most of it!

A green haired guy in scruffy jeans and a chewed up old hoodie saunters up to Sanji's table and helps himself to a sensible plate of food, no picking, no fussing, no idiocy.

"Hey, this is good." The guy remarks.

"Well at least someone likes it." Sanji grumbles.

"Don't bother, you're wasted on them. They don't eat anything anyways." The guy snorts, looking at the models primping.

"We can't all eat like you tubs, some of us have figures to watch." A skinny guy remarks from behind the green haired guy.

"You ought to watch it over there away from me. Didn't I tell you? I'm on a no-loser-diet." The scruffy guy snorts. The model huffs and flounces off.

"Uuugh, thanks. I'm about ready to kill myself here." Sanji sighs gratefully.

"No problem, he's a complete dick. I'm Zoro, by the way." Zoro says holding out his hand.

"Sanji." He responds in kind and shakes.

Zoro settles into a seat behind Sanji's table and proceeds to keep him company. Zoro has a wicked sense of humour and he's just as pissed off about the dumb models as Sanji is. He's… cute actually. Sanji doesn't usually go for guys but this one is funny and sexy too.

"I only do this stupid job because MMA fighting hardly pays the bills." Zoro grumbles.

"You do MMA? I'm capoeira, we should spar." Sanji grins excitedly.

"Yeah… yeah I bet you'd be great." Zoro flushes with interest.

"You know, they'd be better with someone like you up there. Someone who's good looking and doesn't look like they'd snap in half if you got them in bed." Sanji says bravely.

"That was a very inept attempt at flirting with me." Zoro grins with a sparkle of mischief in his eyes.

"Did it work?" Sanji challenges.

"Yeah, actually. You wanna go get a drink after work kicks out?" Zoro smiles.

"Hell yeah." Sanji nods.

"Oi ZORO! Get your fat ass over here, we got work to do!" One of the models screeches.

Zoro stands up moodily, muttering curses under his breath and hauls his beat up hoodie off. Oh… wow. Zoro does not look like those skinny models at all, he's all gorgeous tan muscle criss-crossed with scars. He's got meat on his bones and Sanji would kill to be on him right now.

But why is Zoro stripping right now? Sanji blinks in dazzled confusion as Zoro shimmies out of his jeans, the designer tag on his underwear right in Sanji's eyeline and walks off.

Zoro throws him a sarcastic eye roll as he's directed to sprawl sinfully across a motorbike. Sanji bites his lip, he's got himself a date with a hot underwear model.


	26. Chapter 26

radicalelle asked you:

Ooh! Prompt time: For some reason, Chopper has restricted Sanji's smoking. However, Chopper has either gone completely mad or is secretly a sadist, because he put Zoro in charge of rationing out Sanji's cigarettes to him.

"Hey cook, been a while since your last smoke?" Zoro asks smirking.

It has in fact been thirty-one hours since Sanji's last smoke. Chopper had been trying to get Sanji to quit smoking so he'd given all of Sanji's cigarettes to Zoro and made him responsible for dispensing them.

Sanji is unsure who the bigger bastard is here, Zoro or Chopper.

It's fucking awful. Whenever he breaks and goes to find the other man to get them Zoro mocks him, or flat out denies him. He can't be bribed with booze because Zoro is getting all smug about not needing something as badly as Sanji needs to smoke and worse the nicotine withdrawal makes his reflexes shot so he can't even fight him for them!

"You know it has bastard, give me one." Sanji demands through gritted teeth.

"I'll trade you one." Zoro offers.

Now that has Sanji's attention, he turns around to look at the smirking swordsman. He's never offered to trade for anything before.

"For what?" Sanji asks suspiciously.

"I'll trade you a cigarette… for a kiss." Zoro smirks.

"LIKE I WOULD EVER DO THAT!" Sanji screeches outraged.

"Looks like I've found a way to make you quit then, if you change your mind offer's still open." Zoro chuckles and walks off.

Sanji shakes his head. NEVER.

Hour forty-three ticks by and the idea seems much more appealing. It's only a quick peck right? No one has to see or know.

He catches Zoro in the crow's nest within the hour. He leans in quickly and presses his lips to Zoro's, leaping back immediately. Zoro grins and hands over a blessed cigarette.

It's easy enough to do once he stops thinking about it. Zoro's lips aren't that different from women's lips, they're smooth and Zoro shaves often enough that Sanji doesn't really feel stubble much.

It turns out that Sanji's a better kisser than Zoro, or Zoro's more into it than him. It's easy enough to make the mossy bastard blush or gasp, one time he bit Zoro's lip and made him moan. He makes it into a soft of competition to get Zoro as flustered as possible, kiss drunk is a good look on Zoro.

He shoves Zoro into an alleyway behind the bar, Zoro's been getting under his skin all night and Sanji knows just how to shut him up. He pins the swordsman against the wall and kisses him breathless, biting his lip to make his breath hitch and tugging his earrings with his teeth to make him moan.

"That shut you up." He teases, kissing Zoro's jaw and earning himself a whine.

"I'm going back for my drink." He announces, heading back.

"Oi cook, didn't you forget something?" Zoro calls after him, holding a cigarette in hand.

"Nah, I'm thinking of quitting. Smoking that is." He adds, noting the flash of Zoro's panic. Sanji grins smugly to himself as he enters the bar with Zoro tailing him, now who's the one with the addiction?


	27. Chapter 27

yesforblackleg asked you:

Prompt: Zoro is a soldier and he has to leave Sanji again for another duty call

Zoro's voice pulls you out of deep sleep but it's not until his body covers yours that you really wake up. Zoro presses a hot kiss to the hollow of your throat, pulling a sleepy whine from you. You know what this means, you can see the glow of his phone on the ceiling. He got another call and now he'll be off for god knows how long, this is a goodbye for however long it is, if he comes back at all.

That thought drives you to wrap your legs around him, holding him tight and keeping him close for all that you can.

"Do it." You urge. Slicked fingers find their way inside of you, your muscles still relaxed from sleep. Even so the first few always feel strange, even after all these years. Zoro's mouth on your cock distracts you thoroughly.

"I love you so much Sanji." Zoro whispers against your shoulder, chasing the words with a sharp bite and a soothing lick. You whine and he obliges you by sliding in, you arch into it and sigh happily.

The whole thing is slow and sleepy, savoured because who knows when the two of your will be together again?

"Promise me you'll come back." You beg against his mouth, kissing him slowly as he rocks his hips.

"I'm coming back." He vows. He can't tell you how long for, or where he's going. It's the downside of having your partner in the Special Forces, there are things you can't know. He shifts his hands on your hips and tilts you at that angle that makes you see stars.

"Always." He adds with a snap of his hips that makes your vision go white and drags the neediest yelp from you.

You hitch an ankle over his shoulder to keep that angle because it's amazing, but you still pull him in for a slow kiss. You're both stupidly uncoordinated from sleep and sex but you manage to lick your way into his mouth, telling him as much as you can just how much you love him, how much you need him to come home again.

You're shuddering, falling apart at the seams and in all your life no one but Zoro has ever been able to make you feel quite like this, like you're so much more than everything that you are. When he's on you and in you like this it feels like he's showing you just how perfect he sees you as being, and he is. You love him, more than anything.

Orgasm ripples through you, taking you by surprise and making you gasp into his skin, he groans and follows right after. Lazy open-mouthed kisses are pressed against your skin as you come down. He strokes your hair as he leaves quietly and doesn't say goodbye because he's coming back damnit. You curl up exhausted into his side of the bed and inhale his scent as sleep drags you back under alone. He'll come back.


	28. Chapter 28

masteryoshi88 asked you:

Are you still taking prompts? Because here is mine! "Both Zoro and Sanji are 15 and in love for the first time." Thanks!

Zoro has always wanted Sanji, ever since they met each other on the first day of school. Sure, he's wanted different things over the years but wanting and Sanji have always been constant. When they were younger he wanted to beat Sanji up, then he wanted to impress him, then he wanted to outdo him. Now that he's older he wants the blonde to notice him, he wants to kiss Sanji, he wants to screw his brains out.

Problem is that he's fifteen and whilst he's old enough to be feeling all of those kind of urges he's young enough that his understanding of quite what he wants to do with Sanji didn't really go beyond either the vauge description of kissing and friction or the more IKEA manual description of sex along the lines of insert tab A into slot B. Not exactly prime smooth talking material.

It's more than that though, he loves Sanji. He loves the way the blonde talks, the way he walks, his laugh and his smile, he loves arguing with him and testing his wit, he adores fighting with him and getting a rise out of him. In short he's smitten.

The two of them are walking back to the train station together, Sanji knocks his shoulder into Zoro's. Zoro opens his eyes to see Sanji grinning at him, he shoves him back, Sanji retaliates harder and it instantly devolves into a shoving match and Sanji getting thrown into a fence.

"Oi, Zoro." Sanji says after he's untangled himself from the fence.

"Yeah?" Zoro asks, quirking an eyebrow.

"I… like someone." Sanji says quietly, his face stained in a red blush.

"What else is new? You're always flirting with those poor girls." Zoro grumbles walking ahead, it's true.

"No, it's serious. It's really love." Sanji insists, catching his arm. Sanji's eye contact is so intense that Zoro just freezes.

"No one else makes me feel like this, I feel alive when I'm with them and whilst I see them every day I just… I need to know my feelings are returned you know?" Sanji says seriously, looking Zoro intently in the eye. Zoro's heart leaps into his throat. Could… could this be it?

"Zoro… do you… do you feel like that about anyone?" Sanji asks him, wide eyed and blushing.

"Y-yeah." Zoro nods, struggling to work his throat. This is it!

"Maybe I should just… tell them." The blonde murmurs softly.

"Do it." Zoro urges.

"Yeah, yeah I will. Thanks Zoro." Sanji smiles.

"If I run I might be able to catch Nami before her train leaves and tell her how I feel!" Sanji beams excitedly and breaks out into a sprint, shattering Zoro's heart in the process. Sanji… of course. Sanji loves Nami, not him. Why would Sanji even consider him?

"Good luck with your love too Zoro! You should tell them too! Thanks!" Sanji calls over his shoulder. Zoro wraps his arms around himself, he won't do something as dumb as that.


	29. Chapter 29

From: penName111

I love your stories could you maybe do one with soldier Zoro where he gets  
hurt in the line of duty?

Sanji is in the kitchen washing up when the knock on the door startles him, he grabs a hand towel and heads to the door. Through the distorted glass he sees the green suit and hat, military dress! He yelps delightedly flinging the door open. It's a week since Zoro's been gone but he's so happy to see him!

Only… it's not Zoro. It's some sombre looking white haired guy who takes off his hat when he sees Sanji.

"No…" Sanji breathes knowing what an official visit from an unhappy looking man means.

"He's alive…" The man says in a voice that doesn't say 'for now'.

It takes far too long getting through the military security at their hospital before he gets to see Zoro. Half his head is bandaged up, covering one eye and a lot of his head. The other soldiers in the room sit up with wide eyes when Sanji comes in.

Zoro is pale and still, barely breathing, covered in tiny scratches and that huge bandage.

"He saved all of our lives." The dark haired guy in the bed opposite says softly.

"He's a hero." That one is met with a chorus of agreement.

"He got shot and still dragged all our asses outta there. Got us all safe then passed out." Another adds.

"Where?" He growls out, reaching for his one and only. His hands search Zoro's chest for injury and come up blank.

"In the head."

Sanji's blood runs cold. He turns to face the doctor who spoke. She holds up Zoro's x-ray and explains something about one in a million chances. Sanji can see the path the bullet took, through his eye, deflected by the back of the socket and arcing around his skull so many times that the image looks like a nuclear symbol. The word miracle is thrown around.

Zoro is still breathing on his own, there's brain activity, but he's not woken once.

He touches Zoro's arm, runs his fingers along it.

"You need to wake the fuck up." He says simply, not caring about his audience.

"You promised me you'd come home and you can't do that if you're lying in this bed braindead! I know I joke about you having moss for brains but this isn't funny!" He shouts, clutching the edge of the bed hard.

"So just- JUST WAKE UP!" He yells furiously.

Zoro doesn't move, he doesn't open his eyes or make some sarcastic remark with a voice all sleepy from drugs. He doesn't move at all.

Sanji clambers on the bed and grabs Zoro by the shoulders and shakes him. The ground is falling apart underneath him and Sanji can hear the endless litany of 'wake up wake up wake up' falling from his lips but Zoro doesn't.

"You promised." He whines, pressing his head against Zoro's chest and hearing his heart.

"You bastard, you promised." He repeats, choking on his words.

Sanji sobs as gentle hands pull him up, his eyes never leaving Zoro.


	30. Chapter 30

Got a whole bunch of requests for this, so here you go.

Zoro is still bandaged up over his eye and his ear. The bullet that ricocheted around his brain blew out of his ear, making him blind on one side and deaf on the other. Zoro is a walking laundry list of injuries, including the huge bruise on his arm where Sanji had punched him hard when Zoro had pulled him up off of his chest, blinked at him sleepily and told him off for doubting that he'd live.

Asshole.

Sanji lets the fuzzy glow run over him. Zoro woke up. He'd been so sure that he'd lost him but the other man had come back to him, just like he promised.

Still, it's going to take some getting used to. Zoro's depth perception isn't quite what it used to be and Sanji has had to remove his coffee table, hide expensive ornaments and surreptitiously wedge doors open to stop Zoro walking into them.

He catches Zoro scowling at himself in the bathroom mirror with his bandages off. His big tough Special Forces boyfriend refuses usually to let him see what's under the bandages and Sanji knows full well that it's because Zoro is self-conscious of how he looks under them.

"Agh, get out." Zoro orders, ducking his head so that Sanji can't see.

"No way, you're getting an infection." Sanji argues back, shoving his other half onto the edge of the bathtub. He grabs the bottle of alcohol and a sterile cotton swab.

"Don't- it's gross." Zoro protests weakly.

"Cause you're not cleaning it right, dipshit. Look at me." Sanji tuts and tilts Zoro's chin up. He runs the swab over the wound, up the vertical scar that arcs over the eye that's no longer in there. He presses and works the alcohol into the places where the stitching is swelling because Zoro's been too hesitant with it. He ignores Zoro's squirming and continues.

The scar isn't that bad, and it will look much better once it's healed. Considering he got shot straight in the face Zoro's doing pretty fucking well, he's got all his mental faculties intact, as much as he ever did at any rate and more importantly he's alive.

He leans in and kisses Zoro gently, careful to keep away from any of his injuries. Zoro whines softly and needily into the kiss, when Sanji pulls back he looks pained though and Sanji almost thinks that he must have hurt something.

"You don't need to do this you know, you're not obliged to stay with me. I'd understand if you couldn't…" Zoro trails off, his fingers twitching near the ragged scar over his eye.

"Finish that fucking insulting sentence and I swear I'll put your dumb ass back in hospital. You'll have to do more than take a bullet to the brain to get rid of me." Sanji snarls possessively and kisses him again, this time with some bite.

Zoro doesn't resist and sighs into the kiss.

Sanji reassures himself again that Zoro is here and alive.


	31. Chapter 31

Name: Ingiburger Johnsons

Dude. Those Highschool!Zoro AU are so AWESOME that I'm always anxiously  
waiting for another. I have this scenario in mind that I'd really like to see  
come to life. And your mastery of the writing arts is just what is needed. It  
goes like this: Zoro and Sanji are walking home from a successful date but get  
attacked in an alley. Sanji shows off his awesome fighting skills but gets  
punched into the ground nevertheless. Then Zoro can step in and save the day.  
Can you make this into reality? Pretty please? With strawberries and stuff on  
top?

He'd been innocently taking Zoro on a date, he'd been taking him back to his actually not that he'd been planning on taking that anywhere of course. Anyway, they'd been innocently minding their own business walking back when a group of thugs had starting hurling homophobic insults at them and attacked them.

Sanji throws another kick, dropping one guy, the need to protect Zoro fierce as he shoves the younger man behind him and out of the way.

"Sanji! Get out of the way!" Zoro yelps in his ear. No way, he's not having Zoro hurt by these jackasses.

He kicks one guy in the ribs and turns to shove another roughly in the wall, he didn't like the way he was looking at Zoro.

One of them pulls him off balance and yanks him away from Zoro, he hears a malicious laugh as the biggest guy there advances on the teenager.

"ZORO!" Sanji yells, trying to get past the others and not spotting the fist coming for him until he smashes into his face. He slams into the wall and drops to the floor, shortly following him is the biggest guy of them all. He seems to be less several teeth and plus one horribly broken nose and a black eye.

Sanji scrambles to his feet and watches Zoro hurl one guy into a dumpster. He grins, he should have known better, Zoro can handle himself. He introduces one of the remaining thugs to the sole of his, Zoro punches the other in the throat.

Eventually the two of them are left back to back in the alleyway, panting hard and surveying their fallen adversaries.

"Way to block that punch with your face." Zoro snipes at him with a roll of his eyes.

"Shut your yap, let's bail before the cops show up." Sanji says, shoving Zoro out of the alleyway.

They head to Sanji's flat, he lets them both in before his neighbours can see the state of them, or how young Zoro is.

"Sit your ass down." Zoro orders him and promptly shoves him over the arm of the sofa.

"OI! You can't order me around! It's my flat and you should respect your elders or whatever!" Sanji protests as he struggles to sit upright. Zoro makes a dismissive noise from the direction of Sanji's kitchen, Sanji hears the tap run and a door open and shut.

Zoro returns with something wrapped in a damp towel. Zoro climbs into Sanji's lap and presses it to his cheek, it's cold and wet and Sanji realises that Zoro's put ice in it.

"You're bleeding, idiot. This is what happens when you stop paying attention, hold that there or it'll swell up like hell." Zoro says firmly.

Sanji holds the towel to his cheek and looks up at the flushed and scowling Zoro.

"You're cute when you're worried." He smiles.

"Call me cute again and I'll punch you too." Zoro threatens.

"Fucking idiot." Zoro huffs, leaning in and kissing Sanji.


	32. Chapter 32

So I've got about a thousand nonspecific requests for more Highschool!Zoro so have some porn.

Zoro is trying to pretend like he's not nervous, but Sanji can tell that he is. Zoro had been pestering him for months trying to get him to agree and he's a little concerned that if he backs out now Zoro might strangle him.

Zoro had hissed in discomfort when Sanji had first slid his fingers inside and Sanji had offered to stop then, but Zoro had shot him a death glare and told him to keep going.

He supposes that the teenager was right because that was only a few minutes ago but already Zoro is arching his back into it, gasping out little moans and shifting as far down onto Sanji's hand as he can get. Zoro is deliciously flushed all over and the needy whine he gives when Sanji crooks his fingers is perfection.

"Come on, I want you." Zoro insists, and damn if that isn't the hottest thing anyone's ever said to him. Sanji slicks himself up and lines himself up ignoring Zoro's impatient look, the last thing he wants is for Zoro's first time with a man to be anything like Sanji's own.

"Sanjiiii!" Zoro whines stroppily as Sanji angles Zoro's hips.

"Quit your bitching or I'll stop right now." Sanji threatens. Zoro's jaw snaps shut so fast Sanji hears his teeth click.

Sanji breathes out calmingly and slides forward into Zoro as slowly and smoothly as possible, the overwhelming heat and pressure make Sanji see stars but he's got enough experience to keep it together.

Zoro's howl however brings him back to earth with a crash, Zoro's body is rigid, arched painfully.

"Oh god, I'm sorry I-" Sanji apologises desperately, he hurt Zoro! He moves to pull out but Zoro's hand snags painfully in his hair.

"OH GOD DON'T! Doitagain!" Zoro whines, loosening his grip a little and pulling Sanji forward towards him. Sanji follows, it's either that or have Zoro rip his hair out. As he does Zoro keens beautifully, Sanji is as far forward as he can go now and Zoro chokes out a sob and shivers all over.

"Sanji…" Zoro gasps. He's… enjoying it, that wasn't pain after all? He rolls his hips experimentally and earns himself a line of euphoric cursing from Zoro. Zoro's hands scrabble against the sheet next to his head and he kicks his feet into the mattress to change the angle of his hips and yelps perfectly when Sanji thrusts into him next time. From the noises he's making Sanji doesn't have to guess at how good his aim apparently is.

Sanji wondrously strokes his hand down Zoro's burning, trembling body, he's completely lost in sensation and Sanji's so close to being done just from the sight and sound of Zoro. Despite all of Zoro's previous vocalisations when he comes come it's with a soft wide eyed 'oh' and a whole body tremble that shakes Sanji over the edge himself. He pulls Zoro close and kisses him back down to earth, he is irrevocably in love.


	33. Chapter 33

sunshinesthroughtheclouds asked you:

If you ever feel like writing some more Highschool!Zoro, I have a prompt: Zoro finds out about Sanji's bad 'first time' and then runs into that particular guy. Thanks!

Sanji opens his front door to find Iceburg holding Zoro in a painful looking arm lock and despite the teenager's snarling and squirming he can't get free.

"Zoro!" Sanji gasps, reaching for him.

"So this is yours then." Iceburg says releasing Zoro with a shove at Sanji.

"You fucking bastard! I'll-!" Zoro snarls furiously.

"What the hell is going on here?!" Sanji demands, holding Zoro back and trying to contain his wildcat thrashings.

"He punched me in the face and started incoherently screaming about how I hurt you, is there something I should know?" Iceburg says flatly.

"Oh for fuck's sake. ZORO, knock it off right now." Sanji orders, smacking Zoro on the back of the head.

"But he hurt you!" Zoro protests.

"That was not the point of that story!" Sanji snaps furiously.

"Just what did you tell him?" Iceburg asks frostily.

"I… was trying to illustrate why it's important not to just leap right into sex and that lube and time are important and what happens if you don't. Thought going over my first time might explain that, apparently that's not what he took out of that." He adds with a scowl at Zoro who doesn't look even a bit ashamed at his violent behaviour. How did he even track Iceburg down anyway?!

"You're… fucking this kid? How old is he? He looks like he's about thirteen." The Iceburg says giving Zoro an assessing look. Sanji sighs and steps out of his flat and into Iceburg's space, locking Zoro in the flat before he can deck Iceburg. Screeched threats and shouts are still audible through the door though.

"He's seventeen, legal, but the age difference gave me pause too. But I'm actually dating him, not like… usual." He confesses, his face heating at the thought of Zoro.

"Seriously?" the other man asks with a sceptical look.

"Seriously. Look, I'm sorry about him. He's stupidly overprotective and a little too quick to anger, he's nice really." He apologises, Iceburg's cheek doesn't look that bad but Zoro probably tried pretty hard to deck him.

"Keep him away from me, and good luck with that mess I guess." Iceburg adds with a weary look. Sanji apologises some more and says goodbye.

He lets himself back in his flat and scowls at his wildcat like boyfriend who is angrily storming about the place the picture of irritated teenage rage. Sometimes Zoro really does act his age, it's fucking annoying.

"Don't EVEN! He hurt you! I was completely justified in-" Zoro rants angrily.

"I was sixteen, just a stupid teenager. It wasn't his fault or mine, we were just dumb kids who knew nothing about what we were doing but still determined to get off. You can't just track down my first same sex lay and attack them!" Sanji yells exasperatedly.

"But… he hurt you." Zoro says weakly as if nothing could be worse.

"You are unbelievably frustrating and adorable, but calm down, seriously." Sanji sighs, pulling Zoro close and kissing his temple.


	34. Chapter 34

ragtagg asked you:

Story Prompt: A Nami POV on Zoro/Sanji featuring the line, "Their love is idiotic."

Their love is idiotic.

That is the conclusion that Nami has reached after months of watching the two morons on her ship. Specifically the moron who brought her drinks and the moron who owed her more money than he had any hope of repaying.

Sanji is too flighty with his feelings, too emotionally volatile and too quick too spite. Zoro on the other hand, despite his façade of apathy/anger is actually quite sensitive and thoughtful. So the absolute worst person for him to be with is Sanji, it's stupid. It's beyond stupid, even for Zoro. And he had stupid down to an art form. Moron.

"Well fuck you! You can just go jerk off all by yourself forever because I'd sooner cut out my own tongue than touch you again, seeing as you've got so many more important things to do than be with me!" Sanji screams, stomping across the deck and slamming the kitchen door after himself. Nami rubs her forehead, a headache is building there.

"SHUT YOUR YAP COOK! I JUST SAID WAIT FIVE SECONDS!" Zoro hollers after him, but of course Sanji has already decided that he's not going to play nice and now he's not going to go back on it.

"Sanji!" Zoro calls, following him into the kitchen.

Great. He never learns.

Nami listens for the smash of furniture and the shatter of crockery, mentally tallying up all that they're breaking and adding the amount to Sanji's bill as this is clearly his fault. Though Zoro ought to have half of it for not being smart enough not to know better than to follow Sanji in when he's like that.

She looks over her sunglasses as Zoro is punted clean out of the kitchen door and lands on his face in the lawn. Zoro's really in the dog house now.

Zoro disappears overboard with a harpoon after that. The blonde idiot starts to calm down a little for being left alone.

Eventually Nami watches as the harpoon-wielding moron returns to the ship with a gorgeously plump elephant tuna, one of Sanji's absolute favourites. Zoro kneels down and guts the fish just the way Sanji taught him when Zoro started catching things for them. She raises her eyebrows as Zoro carefully washes the deck off, leaps overboard again to clean himself, climbs out and towels himself off and removes any errant sea-weed or fish parts. She watches Zoro carefully pad up to the galley door with the prepared tuna and gently knock on the door, holding the fish carefully.

"WH- oh." Sanji's rant is cut short as he spies the fish in Zoro's arms. The cook inspects it carefully and then with a slow nod gets Zoro into the galley with it. Sanji shuts the door and after a while and some background cooking noises she manages to strain her ears to hear the cook sigh and the sound of clothing being discarded.

She rolls her eyes, their love is idiotic, but then they're idiots, so it works.


	35. Chapter 35

self made prompt because I wanted to. Sanji can't keep still.

Sanji squirms underneath Zoro, half of him wants this- no... all of him wants this but also half of him wants just to piss Zoro off because doing that is pretty much encoded into his DNA. That might give him 150% of himself but what the hell. Besides, he can't decide just what he wants to do to Zoro right now except for all of it and all the time.

"Will you-" Zoro growls and hauls Sanji up into his lap and up off of the floor.

Sanji leans in and bites Zoro's lip. Zoro fists a hand in the back of Sanji's hair and it makes him sigh happily. There is almost certainly something wrong with the both of them but neither of them are likely to go to Chopper to get their heads examined, so they'll just have to live with it.

He shoves Zoro onto his back, using the leverage of his legs to do so. Zoro goes but with a grumbled 'for fucks' sake'

"Fidgety bastard." Zoro snarls biting at Sanji's neck and unbuttoning Sanji's trousers. Sanji shuffles his way up Zoro's body to help him out but only earns himself a grumble in response along with Zoro's rolled eyes and a hand around his dick. If you looked up mixed messages in the dictionary there'd be a video of this. Probably.

He flips them again and hauls Zoro on top of him, he likes the weight of the other man on him, and he likes how moving him makes him complain.

"No way, I've had enough of this bullshit." Zoro declares, kneeling up and taking his hands off Sanji.

"Ah what- no!" the cook protests, he was liking that.

The ever scowling swordsman grabs his bandana and pulls it off of his arm and then shoves forward, smothering Sanji briefly with his weight. Sanji squeaks and tries to get out but Zoro is quick and efficient when he's being mean. Before Sanji knows what's what he has his hands tied together around one of the storeroom's beams.

"You squirmy little fucker, you're going to stay STILL goddamnit." Zoro snarls, yanking Sanji's nice black slacks down until they're just above his knees and then planting his own knee on the crotch of them, effectively pinning both his legs in place whilst giving Zoro all the access to him he wants.

"Oi! Let me GO you shitty bastard!" Sanji snaps, struggling against him.

"I can let you go or get you off. One or the other cook, not both. Now which is it?" Zoro asks looming over him. Sanji really doesn't like admitting defeat so he just sticks with biting his lip and trying not to pout.

"Thought so." Zoro mutters and leans down to put his own mouth to work. The hot heat of Zoro's strong tongue works on him and Sanji's hips leap upwards, wanting MORE of it. Whilst Zoro has a pretty hard core gag reflex he still does have one.

"GODDAMNIT COOK! STAY STILL!"


	36. Chapter 36

Sanji remembers the bridge. It was a rickety wooden thing strung across a gorge and he and Zoro had, as always, been arguing as they crossed it. Mid-argument there had been a creak and then a snap.

He remembers falling and pain.

He awakes in Chopper's room, bandaged and bruised, nothing serious. But worryingly there's a bandage wrapped around his palm. When Sanji pulls the bandage back his panicked heart leaps into his throat and he retests his fingers and his ability to move and use them again. He's no idea how his fingers are okay because right through the middle of his palm is a gash that goes through one side of his hand and out the other. He'd hold it up to the light to see if he could see through it if it wasn't for the stitches holding it shut.

Mercifully it seems that it simply went past all of his important tendons and nerves without severing anything. It's a fucking miracle.

It doesn't take a genius to work out what stabbed him through the hand. He'd fallen with Zoro who had his swords out ready for a fight, he must have landed on them.

Sanji hops out of bed and bandages his hand up again and goes looking for Zoro, no doubt he's feeling just awful. Sanji's hands are his most precious thing, he can't cook without them and he guards them with his life. Even though it was an accidental fluke that he got injured he's got no doubt that Zoro's tearing himself apart for it,.

Whilst Zoro trains and lives above deck, when he really wants to be left alone he'll vanish below into the cavernous storerooms. That's where he'll find his marimo.

"I just don't know what to do with it, it doesn't seem right just to... chuck it overboard." Franky's voice distracts him.

Sanji peers his head around the door of Franky and Usopp's shared workshop space and spies the two men standing on either side of a table. On the table in about five pieces is Zoro's cursed blade. Or... what's left of it. Sanji gasps and comes closer, the blade is shattered and completely destroyed. Sanji knows how old that blade is, how valuable it is and how much Zoro cares for it. No one but Zoro would have destroyed it.

Sanji's hand clenches, making the slash in his palm throb and he sprints out of the room. He bursts into the storeroom and Zoro's tearstained face looks up at him from the corner.

"Sanji-" He gasps.

"You STUPID bastard! I'm fine you didn't have to- why would you do that to yourself?" Sanji babbles, closing the gap to them and dragging Zoro to him, his fists in his shirt.

"I couldn't forgive it for what it did." Zoro murmurs heartbroken into Sanji's chest. Zoro's skilled fingers run gingerly over Sanji's healing wound.

"Idiot. I'm fine." He says into Zoro's hair and holds him close.


	37. Chapter 37

Sanji lingers as Zoro's kendo class breaks up, children filing out with thanks and laughter.

"Hey cop." Zoro grins at him, beckoning him in with a jerk of his head.

"I have a name." Sanji grouses, entering.

"Hey, I needed to talk to you about a case, murder." Sanji says quietly.

"That's a first." Zoro points out, looking up at him in surprise.

"This guy was stabbed, it's a sword and not a knife. I wanted your professional opinion." he explains, holding out a photo of the latest victim in the long line of grisly murders he's been investigating.

Zoro frowns at the photo.

"It's hard to say." Zoro says after a moment and hands the photo back with a shrug.

"Hm, strange. The weapons guys had a field day with all of them, it's a serial killer you see. Said they've never seen a cut so clean, like a knife through butter, real skill. No trace at all either, except for polish, a well cared for weapon." Sanji says, putting the photo in his pocket and watching Zoro's still back. His gaze travels to Zoro's white sword on the wall.

"Sounds like you don't need my professional opinion. So why did you come here?" Zoro asks quietly.

"I think you know." he answers, his hands going to the handcuffs at the small of his back. Zoro turns then and regards him with his soft dark eyes.

Sanji doesn't want to do this he really doesn't. Zoro is his friend, they've been friends with each other for years. And recently... they've become more. Their sparring matches turned into something more heated altogether and they've been naked and tangled together in this very room more than once.

He wants Zoro to deny it, to laugh at him But Zoro doesn't lie and right now Zoro is silent and watching.

"Why?" Sanji says eventually, the word barely audible.

"You tell me." Zoro challenges.

"They all... hurt people. Kids mostly." the cop answers quietly.

"Seeing as you can't do shit about them because of stupid laws and regulations someone had to." the man says defiantly.

"Those laws and regulations protect innocent people from being convicted of something they didn't do!" Sanji argues.

"I've never hurt an innocent person." Zoro says solemnly.

"So, you've got three choices." Zoro continues.

"It would be three with you." Sanji grumbles.

"You arrest me and let scumbags like that go free again and again, or you ignore this and pretend this conversation didn't happen and let me keep doing what I do." Zoro says.

"What's option number three?" Sanji questions.

"Give me information, tell me who to go after. I'll do what you can't. Join me Sanji." Zoro says earnestly, looking right at the cop.

"I'm gonna regret this..." Sanji says after a long moment of thought. Strangely he doesn't have any hesitation in his choice.


	38. Chapter 38

seoulmylove asked:

How about one where Sanji's a stripper (trying to pay his way through culinary school) and he's trying really hard not to fall for his green haired coworker?

Sanji outright refuses to ask his old man for money to get through culinary school, it's not like he can get a regular part time job with all the crazy hours that his school puts him through. But he landed a perfect gig, good pay too. Really it would be the perfect job to brag about.

You know, if he wasn't a stripper.

The reason that he presently hates his usually great job is coming towards him right now in a stupid cowboy hat and plaid. Zoro hops up onto the stage with a clink of fake spurs and an air of smugness.

"What do you want?" Sanji mutters as Zoro grabs him by the loop of his leather trousers.

"Special order, you and me, hen party over there. 50/50?" Zoro breathes into Sanji's ear, sending a thrill down his spine. Sanji hates Zoro. Both because he's an irritating bastard but mainly because he's all Sanji jerks off to now, he's so hot it hurts. Despite being a stripper himself he's refusing to sleep with a stripper, though the reasoning behind that decision escapes him right now. He nods and Zoro pulls him over and Sanji holds his breath.

"You stay right there." Zoro orders, coming to a stop by the group of wide eyed excited women. Zoro spins him and shoves him so one of the poles is in the middle of his back. Zoro slides his hands under Sanji's shirt and flicks it off, earning a delighted coo from their audience.

"It's hard having to watch you every night." Zoro says, biting Sanji's lower lip, making him groan. Zoro's never done this before! Still, fantasy come to life or not, he's not going to let Zoro steal this show. He reaches his arms up and grabs the pole behind him. He's better at pole than Zoro and he uses that to flick his body up and get one foot on Zoro's shoulder and kick his legs out from under him. Zoro falls to his knees.

"Do something else with your mouth." He orders and Zoro grins up at him. With surprising dexterity Zoro undoes Sanji's leather trousers with his teeth whilst groping Sanji's ass with both hands. Sanji groans and Zoro pulls the tight leather trousers off. Before long he and Zoro have enough back and forth for both of them to be down to just their underwear, which neither of them are allowed to take off. Zoro has him pinned, splayed out on the glass floor and they're both painfully hard (and significantly richer than earlier).

"We never thought we would get both of you!" One of the women squeals delightedly, knowing the show is over. Sanji squints at the suddenly shifty looking marimo. Zoro hadn't got a request for him, he'd lied to get Sanji over here to pull that stunt. He did it for... him?

"What time do you get off?" Zoro pants, confirming Sanji's suspicions.

"Depends on how good you are, doesn't it?" Sanji purrs.


	39. Chapter 39

blackbarbooks asked you:

Prompt! : Sanji is the one who has to sew Zoro's ankles back together after Little Garden.

He barely knows the mouthy blonde cook but he thinks that what he does know is enough. He's arrogant and stupid, foolish where women were concerned and all together thoroughly irritating. He did have a strong drive for his dream, he's a good fighter and he's loyal to Luffy, Zoro respects that much at least. It doesn't mean that he's happy about putting himself in the cook's hands though.

The door to the galley is bolted and the others can't come in. He's sat on one of Sanji's kitchen counters with his feet up on the work surface, he's laid out like a slab of meat and it makes him hugely uncomfortable. They need a doctor and don't have one so Sanji will have to do.

Sanji tugs his feet into the sink, hot water and disinfectant. Zoro sucks in a breath but tries not to react as Sanji rolls his sleeves up past his elbows and plunges his hands into the water and cleans his cuts.

"You didn't cut your Achilles, thank god. That'd be beyond even me. Can you feel this?" Sanji questions him, running a nail under the arch of Zoro's foot, making him yelp and jerk it away.

"I'll take that as a yes and also that you're ticklish. Give that foot back, I've got to stitch you up." the blonde says.

"You're not a doctor, how come you know so much about this then?" Zoro challenges.

"I know feet, I have to look after mine enough. And basic wound care is kind of non-negotiable for real seafaring types like myself. Landlubber." Sanji shoots back with a smirk as he snaps off the surgical thread with his teeth. He then thoroughly brings the mood down by piercing Zoro's skin and starting to stitch.

Zoro tries not to shake from the pain. It's not that it hurts too much, but he's not used to experiencing pain and then not doing anything to stop it. If Sanji were attacking him he'd have killed him by now. He tries to distract himself by watching Sanji's face. The cook is calm and controlled, his fingers are far steadier than Zoro's would be in such a gruesome task. Nimble and strong fingers do the task of pulling him back together quickly and gently. He's never seen this side to the cook though... he thinks that he might have glimpsed it when he's cooking. He looks like a different man, strong and competent, not the idiot that Zoro knows. Or...thinks the knows.

He doesn't like being this weak, but if he doesn't let himself show this weakness to Sanji then he'll never get strong again. He supposes... that's what nakama is about. He's had friends before and temporary alliances but in the quiet candlelit glow of the kitchen with Sanji's face serious and soothing... he gets it. He doesn't like Sanji all that much, but he trusts him and he'll be stronger for it and he'll be watching him much more closely from now on.


	40. Chapter 40

xkuramaxhieix asked you:  
When you get more time/are bored, do you think you could do another drabble of that zoro yoga porn you did earlier? That was really great. ^^

Sanji should have known that the ladies wouldn't let him out of Zoro's yoga thing so easily, not after Zoro challenged him to show him how it's done.

So because Sanji has either done something very very good or terribly awful in a past life Zoro has now demanded that he teach him yoga every morning. Zoro is blessing/punishing Sanji by wearing those fucking shorts too. He looks over Zoro's body, lean back muscles flexing and his body bent over into a triangle shape. He tries to focus on the actual yoga pose rather than the temptation to slap Zoro's ass, he flicks a glance up at the ladies who are both sat up in long lawn chairs watching the pair of them in suspiciously dark sunglasses. He's not sure that they would be so restrained.

"Your back is rounding, move it in." He adds, pressing his fingertips into Zoro's hot, strong muscles between his shoulder blades. He feels the strong muscles, honed from years of swordfighting, tense under his touch and then relax again. He applies a little pressure and with a whine Zoro follows his directions a little more.

"Come on, you've got to open your shoulders more." He sighs, indulgently running his fingers up and down that tempting bare skin.

"The fuck does that even- you show me smartass!" Zoro snaps, dropping out of the pose and standing up with a gruff scowl.

"Fine." Sanji grumbles, annoyed at being deprived of his illicit eye candy.

He tugs on the drawstrings of his loose sweatpants, he ties the strings so that he's sure he won't end up accidentally exposing himself to his ladies. He brings his arms up in the air and leans back, stretching his bare abs out. He holds that for a second before fluidly moving down to touch the floor by his toes with both palms flat.

"You watching?" He prompts and gets a distracted sounding noise of agreement from Zoro. He rolls his eyes and jumps his feet backwards, his heels instantly hitting the ground with no problems. He stretches down so that his back forms a tight angle with his hips and legs. He sighs in pleasure at the stretch.

"See, shoulders open." He explains and flicks his head to show. He catches a glimpse of Zoro then, the other man isn't watching Sanji's shoulders, he's staring at his ass. Sanji represses a grin and walks his hands back to his feet and then, with a pleased sigh, straightens up.

"Whatever, this is stupid." Zoro mutters stalking off before Sanji can turn to look at him. As he watches Zoro's retreating ass in those scandalous shorts he wonders if they're the reason Zoro's leaving, they leave little to the imagination and if he was capturing Zoro attention as much as he'd stared at Zoro... well... Sanji would only have to look to know.

"I think he needs more teaching." Nami adds, her face red.

Sanji agrees, and perhaps Zoro could use a little... private tutoring.


	41. Chapter 41

Syaoran the Water Kitsune10/23/13 . chapter 22

Are you going to do one where Sanji actually meets Zoro's friends?

Zoro doesn't even want to introduce his stupid friends to Sanji. Okay, well, he kind of does. Just so that his friends stop teasing him, saying that Sanji is fictional. But he's always worried that someday Sanji's going to decide he's too much of a kid and leave him, he'd die if that happened. And his friends aren't the most mature bunch.

"Right, he's running late cause his old man is stuck in traffic. Be cool, okay?" Zoro insists, looking at his friends as they gather in the entranceway of Sanji's restaurant.

"He works here?" Nami asks, looking around for Sanji.

"He's out back, he's a chef." Zoro explains.

"Oh, I think I just saw him. Oh, he's gone again." Zoro shrugs, catching a flash of blonde through the porthole doors before it disappears again.

He turns back to his friends and catches a look of horror come over Nami's face. She yelps and grabs Zoro's shoulders to stop him from turning around.

"Zoro, I've just seen him and- you can do better. He's way older than you and frankly he's not exactly easy on the eye!" Nami says wrinkling her nose.

"What?" Zoro blinks, craning his neck to look over his shoulder. One of Sanji's awful co workers in peering through the porthole at them.

"That's not Sanji. Sanji's blonde and not a creep like that guy." Zoro snorts, shaking her hands off of him.

An old man breezes past them, from the fake leg Zoro instantly identifies that this must be Zeff, the guy who he's only heard of but doesn't know in person. Sanji emerges from the kitchen and pauses at the door to talk to the old man, handing over the details of the day no doubt.

"Th- that's your boyfriend?" Nami gasps, looking at Sanji.

"Yeah." he nods.

"Oh... wow. He's... gorgeous! And he's, oh boy, look at him in that suit!" Nami squeaks, looking at Sanji. The blonde flicks a hand through his hair and looks effortlessly cool and sexy.

Zoro grins. Sanji is gorgeous, that's for sure, but Nami hasn't seen him on the sofa in just his boxers with Zoro, watching bad TV until he laughs until he chokes. She hasn't seen him dorkily trip over his shoes and rage at them being left in the middle of the room, despite being the one who left them there.

If she had, she wouldn't just think he was pretty. She'd be in love with him just like Zoro is.

"Hey, sorry about the delay." Sanji smiles, finally coming up to them and pressing a kiss to Zoro's temple as they walk out of the door.

"Do you have a brother?" Nami squeaks out, red-faced and optimistic.

"No, I'm an only child. Why, do I look like someone you know?" Sanji answers, looking at Nami with an oblivious smile.

"No, sadly not." Nami sighs and follows after them. Zoro tries to shove down his slightly smug pride and mostly succeeds.

"So, I should introduce you!" He says brightly, looking up at Sanji.


	42. Chapter 42

blackbarbooks asked a question

uuughh... reading all these through was not a good idea. Chapter 25, Model, the one with sexy underwear Zoro neeeeeeds another jab at it. The drinks! going out for drinks! Mostly Sanji being pumped about all that skin he saw during the photoshoot. hurr durr~

Sanji is on a date, moreover he's on a date with a hot underwear model! He met Zoro at that shoot that Zeff tricked him into doing, the other man hadn't looked at all like an underwear model, or any kind of model, at least until he'd taken his clothes off. Even so Sanji saw how Zoro looked at the camera and it wasn't in that flirty sultry kind of way that the other models did. Zoro either ignored the thing as if it wasn't worth his time or looked straight down it with this challenging expression and air of superiority, it was hot.

He'd asked the other guy out on a date before he found out what he did for a living, which was a good thing too because he's not sure he'd have been brave enough to do it the other way around. Zoro had agreed with a pleased smile and some swiftly traded sarcasm.

Sanji is sitting nervously in the bar waiting for Zoro to show up, he's holding a cold glass of beer in his hand with the idea that it'll make it less obvious how flushed and nervous he is. He's not sure if his palms are sweating anxiously or if it's just the condensation from the beer.

He really shouldn't have looked up Zoro's photos online, but he could hardly resist and Zoro just looked so good.

"Hey, sorry I'm late, got lost on the way here from MMA." Zoro's voice says from behind Sanji, making him look up.

Zoro is flushed and slightly out of breath as he ditches a sports bag on the floor and falls into the seat next to Sanji. Sanji tries to avoid staring but Zoro's all sweat-slick bronze skin and looking right at him and instantly Sanji finds himself mentally undressing the other man.

He notices after a second or two that Zoro is smirking at him and that he hasn't said anything.

"You about done? Or would you like me to send you a picture, I hear they last longer." Zoro snickers at him.

"No need, that's what the internet is for, right?" Sanji quips back, his cheeks reddening all the same. His retort pulls a delighted laugh from Zoro, as if he hadn't expected Sanji to talk back.

To Sanji's surprise from how nervous he was the two of them easily settle into the same kind of snarky banter they'd dropped into at their first meeting and the conversation and the drinks flow easily. Though Sanji is starting to get a little light headed from both.

"So, you promised me a sparring match, Mr. Caperoria. My gym isn't too far, want to try to out-fight me since you clearly can't out drink me?" Zoro grins, the challenge lighting Sanji's blood.

"I'll knock your ass on the floor in both." Sanji promises.

"I'd like to see you try." Zoro responds, but he doesn't sound mocking and from the interest in his eyes Sanji thinks that he really does.


	43. Chapter 43

laughsandgiggles

Could you make a drabble with Sanji introducing Zoro to Zeff, and Zeff is overprotective of his little eggplant?

Sanji had warned Zoro that his old man was a lot to handle and that he wasn't exactly polite even to people he liked, much less those he was deciding were appropriate for his foster son. But Zoro being the stubborn hardheaded idiot he was had agreed to it.

"Try to be nice, I actually really like him." Sanji sighs, picking up a sofa cushion and throwing it into the right place.

"I will be nice to him." Zeff insists. Sanji doesn't believe him.

"And he's younger than me, so maybe try not to be such a tool." He adds, looking at his old man.

"Boy toy, huh?" Zeff grunts at him.

"I will kick you in the face so hard you'll shit teeth. Leave it." Sanji snarls. The doorbell rings and he goes to answer it.

He slips outside the door to see his boyfriend panting with exertion.

"You're right on time, I may have told you to be here earlier than you needed to be. Knew you'd get lost." He says, pulling the door behind him with a grin. Zoro's jaw drops and a dark scowl overcomes him.

"You fucking asshole, you know how worried I was about-" Zoro snarls at him.

"HEARD THAT." Zeff yells from indoors and Zoro jumps and pales.

"You still wanna do this? Not too late to back out." he offers, kind of hoping Zoro will agree to leave with him.

"No way. I'm not chickening out. Anyway, you still have to meet my sister sometime and I think you've got the worse deal there." Zoro smirks, pushing by him into the house. Sanji's knees go weak at remembering Robin, Zoro's stunning older sister who will not hesitate to kill him and dissolve him in acid should he ever hurt Zoro.

Sanji winces as Zoro marches right up to Zeff, holds his hand out and delivers a very formal 'hello sir I'm Zoro'.

"No shit. Sit down dumbass." Zeff grouses. Zoro flicks Sanji a look that seems to imply something along the lines of I see where you get it from. And that's a dirty dirty lie.

"So. How old are you? Sanji won't say." Zeff says, setting food down on the table. Sanji shoots Zoro a pleading look.

"Seventeen." Zoro answers flatly.

"You know he doesn't have any money, and he's an irresponsible feckless idiot." Zeff says sternly.

"Hey!" Sanji protests.

"And he flirts with everything in a skirt and he's never had a real relationship before." Zeff points out.

"I am right fucking HERE old bastard. Will you stop badmouthing me to Zoro!" Sanji snarls.

"Basically he's a hopeless idiot who's probably mentally only about seventeen himself." his old man says matter-of-factly.

"He's my idiot." Zoro says firmly and glares at Zeff, challenging him to say otherwise.

"Hn. Pass the salt." Zeff says to Zoro.


	44. Chapter 44

Elke prompted me to write the head canon I have for what could happen to Sanji when he finds All Blue

Sanji's never made someone sick with his food, but his son is really unwell and it gets worse with every meal that Sanji manages to get into him. He doesn't understand it. The kid isn't running a temperature and he's happy to drink water but the more he feeds him the sicker he gets. He's pale and clammy in Sanji's arms.

He can't really be blamed, he's only been a father for three days. Though the child in his arms looks more like a toddler than a newborn. That's because his son isn't entirely human, the god had said he was a demi-god, half Sanji and half Neptune's own offspring.

He'd expected a great deal of different things when he got to All Blue but this was not one of them. There was a god living there, a god guarding the way. It was prepared to kill him, to kill them all, but he'd convinced the god Neptune just how worthy he was of being part of All Blue, of seeing its wonders. So the god had gifted him a son, or... cursed him perhaps.

The little boy looks just like Sanji, only younger. His eyes seem a little different and he's already able to crawl. Chopper had pronounced him healthy when he was first brought on board, clever too as the kid caught the stethoscope before Chopper could listen to his heart and laughed right down it making Chopper's ears ring. Now though, he's not so healthy.

"Chopper, he's sick." Sanji finally admits, heading to the infirmary. Great. He's barely had the kid three days and he's already nearly killed him.

Chopper looks the kid over and seems to agree, gesturing for Sanji to sit down on the examination table with the miserable infant in his arms.

Sanji looks down at his own younger face, pinched with unhappiness. Chopper runs the stethoscope over the little boy's back with a frown. Sanji hasn't even thought of a name for him yet, though he's been calling him 'little duck' because of the stuffed toy he'd latched onto the moment that Nami had presented it to him. His apathy about holding it today was one of the things that tipped Sanji off to his unwell state.

Chopper frowns and pulls the buds out of his ears and places his own ear flat on the child's back.

"He... doesn't have a heartbeat. I can't hear it anywhere." Chopper says after a few moments longer.

"What?" Sanji blinks in confusion. He holds up the snuffling, complaining and very much alive infant and presses his own ear to his chest.

No heartbeat. None at all. And unless he's making noise Sanji doesn't hear breathing either, just... the sound of the ocean. Like he's put a seashell to his ear. He holds the child up, his eyes wide in wonder. The kid isn't human at all.


	45. Chapter 45

A/N: I got requests for more of this so here it is!

When Chopper takes a blood sample of Sanji's son it's just water. But only everything that Sanji's managed to convince him to eat is in whatever water like substance he has instead of blood.

"I would stop feeding him. Just let him drink water and see if that works." Chopper suggests, looking at the vial again.

"But... he needs to eat... doesn't he? Everyone needs to eat." Sanji insists, it's pretty much his core belief.

"Sanji, he's not even human. I don't have any idea what to tell you. Maybe he can't eat. It explains why he gets sicker each time you feed him." Chopper sighs in explanation.

It seems to be true. The more water he gives him the happier he becomes and the more healthy he looks. He also seems to be getting... bigger and older. He's still just a baby though and like all babies he cries. And cries and cries and OH GOD SHUT UP!

Sanji paces around outside the kitchen holding his still unnamed son, he's trying to carry him to soothe him but he just won't stop bawling. The others are all inside eating their dinner but Sanji can't go eat until the kid stops crying and he can take him back in. Worse it seems like the longer the kid cries the rougher the seas outside get, which can't be helping, poor kid's probably scared.

Zoro's head pops out of the galley door and he scowls at Sanji.

"Kid is giving me a headache." Zoro grouses.

"Yeah, well try having him right next to your ear!" Sanji hisses back and the little duck only cries harder.

"Give him here, idiot." Zoro snaps and pulls the baby out of Sanji's arms. Almost immediately the infant's eyes stare widely up at Zoro and he wastes no time in curling into Zoro's broad chest and arms. With a happy sleepy sigh the kid shuts up and falls asleep. The crying has stopped. As suddenly as it came the seas around them become calmer too.

Sanji is distantly aware that his jaw is hanging open. Zoro made the kid stop crying.

"What was all the fuss about, tiny idiot?" Zoro questions, flicking the sleeping kid's hair out of his eyes.

"I could kiss you, how did you do that?" Sanji breathes reverently.

"Okay then." Zoro grins at him with a leer, it's then that Sanji realise just quite what he said.

"Shut up idiot! Don't make jokes like that!" Sanji stammers out, flushing red.

"You can have him back if you're gonna be like that then..." Zoro smirks, offering Sanji his kid back. The little child starts to snuffle and whine at the movement and Sanji darts forward and quickly presses his shut lips to Zoro's embarrassed as hell. Zoro blinks at him in surprise, fucking marimo didn't think he'd do it.

"Dinner." Sanji states flatly and goes back inside.

"Alright." Zoro grins and follows.


	46. Chapter 46

blackbarbooks asked you:

rdsgdasgjdalsglfasga. Plz make another 500 word chapter of that stripper AU.

Ever since that first joint venture on stage he and Zoro were constantly billed together. They were presented as one act comprising a vague theme of stripper outfit for the two of them and them doing some three way combo of dancing, fighting and dry fucking each other on stage for paying customers to see.

There were two brilliant perks to this, firstly that he got to do all of that with Zoro and secondly that this whole act thing was making him shitloads of money, all for just a few nights a week!

There was however one terrible awful flaw to this. He and Zoro sort of... weren't... together in any way off stage. It's fucked up that he he has no shame in grabbing Zoro's head in a leg lock on stage and arching his barely clothed junk right up into Zoro's face but get him to ask the moss-head out to dinner and he'd become a shy, stammering wreck. It was hopeless.

Tonight's theme was apparently some sort of Arabian nights kind of thing if Sanji was to guess from the costume. The outfit is sparkly with glitter and thin gold chains. The pants on this outfit is entirely sheer cloth with exception to the pathetically tiny underwear that's standard at the club. His top half is mostly bare except for jewellery and a tiny waistcoat which will be the first thing he throws off.

Zoro bursts in the room all gleeful excitement and distractingly bronze skin because that tan is real. Sanji allows himself a moment to admire the view. Zoro too is covered in gold jewellery and not a lot else, his outfit seems to be held together with a lot of decorative pins that Sanji quickly notes the location of and plans to pull out with glee on stage.

"I have three swords, look!" Zoro exclaims, holding them out.

"No one needs three, pick one if that." Sanji groans, leaning back against the dresser and arching to stretch out his back and neck before their show. He groans, feeling stiff still from their last show which had been more fight than dance. He tips his head back and slowly his eyes flutter open. His own gaze meets him back in the mirror upside down. Through the mirror he can see Zoro though and his face is free from the usually put together smug and unaffected exterior, thinking himself unobserved Zoro is running his eyes hungrily over Sanji's body. He even catches a wistful and wanting expression before Zoro scowls and shakes his head and drags his eyes away.

Wide eyed Sanji flicks himself back upright and stares at Zoro. But the mask is back in place and Zoro is reluctantly abandoning one of the prop swords on the table.

"You comin' cook?" Zoro huffs at him and saunters off, leaving Sanji staring and hopeful.


	47. Chapter 47

Anonymous asked you:

I love your 500 drabbles! May I offer a prompt? Stripper AU Zoro and Sanji have a first kiss on stage at the end of their fight/dance, but they are both immediately embaressed about it with each thinking maybe the other didn't want it. (I sooo hope you can also write one where they get together in the future XD sorry-I'll-go-now-bye!)

Zoro had taken this stripping gig to make money and give him more time to do what he wanted. He'd been a stupidly rebellious teenager and was actually qualified to do jack shit but he was very good at was athletics. He did triathlons, races, rock-climbing, etc. But... it didn't pay the bills. He already had the kind of body that apparently women dreamed of, so why not?

It'd been great until Sanji wandered into the place, flyaway blonde locks, big blue eyes and the kind of grin that melted Zoro's insides. It got worse when he took his clothes off because then all Zoro could think about was sex.

It was hell. A very efficient form of hell - it was torture but he rushed back to get more. He just wanted Sanji so bad and Sanji seemed to think it was all an act. And fuck him but he played along on stage. Zoro was completely in love, with a coworker and a stripper at that.

Sanji shimmied before him on stage and Zoro automatically reached out and grabbed those narrow hips. Sanji smirked at him and led him backwards on the stage, a little closer to the watching audience. Their crowds used to be almost entirely men but these days the place had just as many women, and they tipped better.

Sanji was wearing this stupid little mockery of a military outfit that he'd been getting rid of more and more of as it pissed him off for stopping his view of Sanji. Sanji ran into a pole backwards, seeming to startle himself as if he'd not been paying attention. But with him trapped and Zoro's thigh shoved between his legs it made for a good show.

It wasn't his fault. No man of his inclinations could have resisted when the contact with his thigh brought this quick little stuttered whine from Sanji. He had kissed him before he'd known it. And oh but the blonde's mouth had been so perfect, so amazingly responsive and hot. He'd had the presence of mind to remember their audience and took Sanji's silly little army hat off of him and thrown it into the shrieking audience.

Their show ended to a rain of cash which Nami would pick up for them and distribute, whilst skimming a lot for herself. But when he'd got backstage with the cook they'd both panicked and that look in Sanji's eyes had terrified him.

"I didn't mean-" He'd blurted out, trying to assure that cook that it hadn't been fake.

"No! No, I didn't- I- I actually have to go!" Sanji had squeaked and dashed past him to their changing room. Before he could go in Sanji burst out again, t-shirt on backwards and jeans half undone as he sprinted from the building and also Zoro.

He couldn't even begin to care about Nami bitching him out for the fist sized holes he'd left in the wall after that. He'd done it, he'd ruined everything.


	48. Chapter 48

I got about a BAJILLION prompts for this, so have another Stripper!AU (dear god what have I done?) Also this one is sliiiightly more than 500 words but I just couldn't cut any more out than I already had. So enjoy the extra length.

However he wants to look at it, Sanji has fucked up. Zoro is such a dorky loser but he's so perfect and... and he'd been so close to asking him out. He'd been standing at home a lot lately in front of the mirror practicing how he might ask him. Asking him if he wanted to get a drink all the way to just straight up asking to date him.

But then Zoro had kissed him. Sanji's sat at work right now, waiting for Zoro to get there and just thinking about how the other man kissed him is enough to make him shudder with excitement. But it had ruined everything.

They'd gone backstage after their kiss, it'd pretty much served as the finale for their little act and earned them plenty. He'd been so nervous that he'd just fled right after that. Zoro had started sounding like he was going to deny that it meant anything and so he'd just run.

The thing was, if he wanted to be a pessimist and assume that it meant nothing to Zoro then his reaction had blatantly highlighted that it meant something to him and now things would be weird and Zoro might want to stop working with him. But on the other hand, an optimistic view might be to say that Zoro had meant it, but then he'd just bailed on him and Zoro probably thought that he'd meant no. Which meant that now things would be weird, he likely wouldn't get a second chance and oh yeah, Zoro might stop working with him.

He is fucked either way.

His only chance was to play his hand straight and just come out and tell Zoro what he feels and ask him out. If Zoro was going to say no well, then maybe he could get over it quicker. But... if there was any chance that Zoro might say yes then he'd kick himself for missing it. Only... they've got minutes before their set and he's still not here!

The idiot bursts into the room in a panic, his shirt already halfway off and when he sees Sanji he freezes with wide eyes and his arm comically caught in his sleeve.

"Hi." Zoro blurts out suddenly.

"Hi. Uh... Sorry for just running out on you the other night. I freaked out." He admits.

"Yeah... I figured." Zoro mutters, untangling his arm and looking away.

"Look, I know this is a longshot and I may have already fucked up my chances of working with you still but- shit. I just... I really like you okay? I think you're funny and kinda cool even if you are a dork most of the time. And you're hot but you're really cute when you're flustered and I... I'd really like to date you." Sanji says as quickly as he can, his face in his hands so that he doesn't have to see Zoro's expression or let him see his entirely red face.

Silence fills the room and Sanji cringes, not a good sign.

"You want to date me? Not just... not just a one time thing?" Zoro asks sounding surprised and coming closer.

"Yeah." He says with one last little spark of hope inside him. He peers up at Zoro who is looking down at him intently.

Zoro's dark eyes bore through him and Sanji is glad he made the choice not to look at Zoro whilst he said all of that because right now his voice has just left him. Suddenly Zoro bats Sanji's hand away and he finds himself pulled into a kiss by his stupid tiny stripper outfit, this one consisting mostly of belts, studs and leather. He positively melts and when Zoro releases him a little he's still boneless and stupid from the amazing kiss.

"I'd... really like that." Zoro breathes against his mouth.

"You lovebirds are cute, but you're LATE. Get on STAGE!" Nami yells at them from the open door, making them both leap.

Zoro swears and strips as quickly as he can and dresses into very little and for once Sanji doesn't have to hide his grin or the fact that he's staring. He even gets to enjoy the embarrassed flush on the marimo's face whilst he does it.


	49. Chapter 49

myladyday asked you:

Hihihi. Hihi. I'll go easy on you :3 How about a college setting, Sanji is an art student and he meets Zoro in class; Zoro is the model they have to draw. (don't blame me if you get a shitload of prompts for this from me XD)

Sanji isn't usually like this, usually he's able to keep it together. Life drawing had been a challenging class for him to take but he needed to do it for his figure drawing to be able to get better, there's simply no artistic substitute for drawing the real thing from life. At first it had been a challenge observing the female models without painting his canvas with his blood.

After time though seeing women naked in class had become almost routine. He'd devoted himself to seeing their beauty in parts, in sharing it with them by showing them his work afterwards. The more care he put into noticing how this woman's thighs curved just so where they met her knees or the lilt of a woman's smile the more they appreciated his work and the better his work became. He was actually able to see them a little more, to notice things without just getting overwhelmed by the entirety of their glory, they were even more beautiful like this.

But he's never felt like this before.

He's sitting on his high stool behind his easel with a piece of charcoal in his trembling hands suspended uselessly apart from his paper. His breath is caught in his throat and he's not sure when the last time he's actually breathed or blinked was but it can't be good for him. His face is mercifully not scarlet red like it could be but that's because all of the blood in his body is currently much further south.

He swallows and works his tongue in his mouth as he tries to draw himself back into reality. The guy before him is completely naked and his brain seems to have shut off just from looking at him.

He shakes his head and tries to remember what he's trained himself. He tries to break the guy down.

Right, so... shapes. The guy isn't quite facing him, he's slightly off to the side. Sanji licks his dry lips and looks at the guy's torso. Right, so it's pretty v-shaped, he's got broad shoulders, thick ribs and a narrow waist. His trembling fingers press the charcoal to the paper and he sketches out the basic shape, he traces the curve of the guy's pecs and the valley in his abs to find his centre line. God how does anyone get abs like that? Even Sanji's own aren't...

The line of the guy's abs trail temptingly down towards... fuck. No. He can't do this. He yanks his eyes back up, shoulders and head. The guy's shoulders are broad and muscled leading to long tanned arms and dexterous fingers that Sanji would really like on him. Uh...

The guy's face is a little more captivating he's got bright green hair and piercing eyes that are... looking... right at him. There is the slightest twitch of the guy's lips and one slow and oh so deliberate eyebrow raise.

Pervert. The guy mouths at Sanji, making the blonde squeak in embarrassment the rest of his class startle and look at him and now Sanji's face really does go red.

"Problem Sanji?" the teacher calls.

"No!" Sanji squeaks in response, trying to ignore the evil grin he can see at the corner of his vision.


	50. Chapter 50

BlackBarBooks: PROMPT FOR THAT ONE, ZORO IS THE MODEL FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK. I want SEXY FLEXING POSES

Sanji can't believe how embarrassed he was throughout that whole class. That green haired model had totally caught him staring and not just paying artistic attention but leering. God, he could crawl up in a hole and die from shame. He settles himself onto his stool in class, at least this session's life drawing will be better he won't have to spend the entire time red faced at his canvas taking only the most brief scandalised looks at the model and drawing mostly from memory.

He reaches over to open up his bag and pull out his supplies as the model walks out from behind the screen. He shakes his head to himself as he removes charcoal and kneadable eraser from his bag, he never thought that he'd be pleased to have female models back because they are less distracting to him now. That guy wasn't normal though, he's never reacted like that to another man before, a fact that kept him awake for some time last night. Still, it's in the past now and he can just get back to his life drawing class and- THE FUCK?!

Sanji gasps as he catches sight of the muscle bound green haired god that's standing in the middle of the room. The guy's hands are on the sash of his green robe and he's got his eyes locked with Sanji as he pulls it open and so slowly lets it slide down his shoulders.

Sanji sniffs and subtly checks to see if his nose is bleeding. Goddamnit, now the guy is just casually talking to the teacher about what pose he wants as if he hadn't just eye fucked Sanji.

"Okay, so we're going to do a study on muscle today class, these will be quick poses so our friend Zoro here doesn't cramp up. We're gonna start with the arms, okay?" The teacher says and motions to the model to hop up onto the table.

Zoro. His name is Zoro.

Zoro's long and muscled legs come up to rest on a chair by the table as he parks his perfect butt on the table itself he settles one leg a little higher than the other and rests his elbow on that with a neat flex of his abs to hold him there. Sanji bites down hard on his lip and holds in the whine that threatens to escape. He flexes his arm towards himself, showing off the gleaming bronze curve of his bicep to the collective awed gasp of the glass, including Sanji.

"Hmm, how about this instead?" The teacher hums, making the guy stop and stand up.

The teacher positions Zoro in front of them all, facing them and gets him to raise his arms up and flex both of them to the entire class, leaving absolutely nothing covering... oh goodness. His hair is green everywhere. Sanji's at least a little relieved to see that he's not the only person in class with a nosebleed going on.


	51. Chapter 51

MyLadyDay: sanji is drawing him and trying hard not to stare at zoro's junk when the professor comes over and tells sanji, really loudly, that he didn't do the model any justice in that area

Sanji can do this. He just needs to focus on shapes and not think about the model as a person. It's pretty much the opposite of what he'd been doing with the ladies. With them he'd looked them over and worked out what was beautiful about them, what showed who they were as a person. But with Zoro he just can't... he can't look him in the eye without falling apart in lust and it's just... unprofessional if nothing else. The poor bastard probably gets enough people lusting after him without Sanji's unwanted adoration.

So he's breaking Zoro down into bits, into the angle of his abs, the precise line between his arm and his pecs, the tilt of his jaw. He can't draw his face though, that sets him off. So he just kind of makes it up, obscures it in artistic exaggeration rather than observation. As for... that... well, he can't manage to look directly at the guy's magnificent package without losing blood from his face. So he's not looking there at all either, that he makes up. After all he's seen enough classical art to do so. But here's his dilemma, he doesn't want to risk drawing the guy too small and offending him or putting too much detail in and letting the guy think he's staring, he also doesn't want to make him too big and have the guy think he's obsessed.

Sanji's hand twitches over the paper, just hovering and not quite touching with the charcoal held in his stained and trembling fingers. Fuck. He needs to just make something up. It's just a dick, he has one too, he knows what they look like. He scribbles something down, his face flaming red and moves on.

"Sanji, that's not right." His teacher says right behind Sanji's shoulder, making him jump about a foot in the air. Oh god, Zoro is looking at him again now.

"You're not doing our lovely Zoro here any justice." he continues, gesturing to the crotch area of Sanji's drawing.

If there was any good in the world the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

There is not.

His teacher, fucking Ivankov, drags him to the side of his easel with nothing in between him and Zoro. Zoro who is staring at him with amusement in his dark eyes. Ivankov grabs the back of Sanji's head and forces his gaze down. Down at Zoro's... perfect... cock.

"Really look at him." Ivankov commands.

Sanji is beyond just looking at Zoro. Sanji has left looking at Zoro far in the distance behind him, he's now sprinting through the land of imagining himself on his knees with that halfway down his throat. Merely looking at him is a distant memory now.

Zoro laughs low and deep, scorching Sanji's cheeks red.


	52. Chapter 52

BlackBarBooks: HOW ABOUT THIS PROMPT: SOMEONE IN CLASS ASKS ZORO HOW HE GOT SUCH A PERFECT BODY.

Sanji is trying to see Zoro like he sees the other models, he's trying to see the parts of him that make him Zoro. He wants to do his best in the class and after being forced to stare at Zoro's junk he doesn't want to give the teacher any reason to pick on him.

He rests his chin in his palm. It's hard to complain though, no one would have any sympathy. Oh no, woe is him, he has to draw a hot guy every day for a week. Here is the worlds tiniest violin playing the world's saddest song just for him.

He flicks his gaze back to the table that Zoro's napping on, his head resting on his folded arms and tilted slightly in Sanji's direction. Sanji adds a little detail to the relaxed muscle in the swell of Zoro's perfectly sculpted ass and then focuses his attention further down the man's legs. He scowls at his drawing and enhances the bunching of Zoro's hamstrings from where his legs are tilted back and crossed at the ankles.

His eyes travel to the pair of broad scars on each ankle he wonders what the story is behind them. The man is littered with scars all over his gorgeous body and aside from the urge that Sanji has to map each of them with his fingers and his tongue he has an overwhelming curiosity to know how the man got them.

At first this had just been a lust thing, looking at Zoro was better than porn but he wants to know now why Zoro looks the way he does. Is the tan just his skin tone or is it from the sun? Is he a surfer or a beach bum who likes to sunbathe nude? How did he get those scars? What about the piercings in his ear that are currently resting on his deltoid, what's the story there?

Sanji focuses on the man's relaxed face, different from the usual scowl of concentration. He looks sweet with his dark lashes splayed out like feathered kisses on his skin as he shamelessly naps naked in front of a room of people. He adds a little more detail to his face just as Ivankov calls time. Zoro wakes with a jaw cracking yawn and sits up on the table, flashing Sanji a complete eyeful of his crotch.

Zoro slides into black jeans, his perfect ass cheeks vanishing inside them. Zoro doesn't wear boxers. Good god, Sanji didn't need to know that and now he does. He's so screwed, his mental porn for the rest of his life is going to be Zoro and there's nothing he can do about it. He doesn't even know a thing about the guy.

"Oh Sanji, he looks so good in yours! You got his scars too, how did you even get those Zoro? Just what did you do to earn that body of yours?" Nami asks with a cheeky wink at Zoro.

"I fence and do parkour." Zoro answers with interest, moving to them. Oh no! Zoro can't see his work!

Before he can do anything though Nami has plucked it from his easel and pinned it to the wall. Sanji flees before anyone can say anything, abandoning several of his art supplies in the escape.


	53. Chapter 53

"What I don't get is why Zoro is the only model that we've had completely nude!" Sanji protests, sipping coffee in the campus coffee shop as he tries to steel himself for their next class.

Nami sighs and flicks her beautiful orange hair behind her shoulders, at her side Usopp giggles madly.

"Why, do you need Ivankov to make you stare at more people's junk?" Usopp laughs loudly.

"Shut up asshole! And I wouldn't mind with a lady!" Sanji snaps, kicking Usopp in the shin vindictively.

Usopp and Nami share a long slow look that has all of Sanji's circuits firing with suspicion.

"What?" He asks, low and slow, trying to scare Usopp into squealing as much as he possibly can. The long nosed artist is sweating bullets by the time that Nami pulls Sanji back by his shirt collar.

"Regardless of what our previous models might choose to call themselves I think you might have been a little disappointed with what they had if they took those panties off." Nami says gently, her big eyes looking at him carefully.

"I mean- I- I'd never disrespect the beauty of a lady like that! A lady's body is a beautiful and wonderful thing!" Sanji insists valiantly, his hand on his chest dramatically. All of those pretty ladies with their soft curves and flowing hair.

"I don't think any of their birth certificates would agree with you, you know Ivankov sourced all of those previous models from the Okama Way club right?" Usopp snorts.

"Yeah, he only got Zoro because the idiot got lost and ended up in the classroom and Iva agreed to pay him after taking one look at him."

"What are you saying?" Sanji frowns not getting it.

"I'm SAYING-" Usopp starts but Nami cuts him off with a wave of her hand.

"No, no. Wait. I wanna see him get it for himself. Where's my camera?" Nami frowns and pulls her camera out of her bag with a little rummaging and trains it on him.

Sanji doesn't get it. The Okama Way is a strip joint he thinks, he's heard about it. Well, so what if those ladies were strippers? They were beautiful. But what did Usopp mean about their birth certificates? Why wouldn't they-? Sanji remembers something about the Okama Way club, something that he's long tried to repress, the result of one very VERY drunken night and taking directions badly.

That club was full of stale perfume and women with considerably more stubble on their faces than women should. Mainly because it turned out not to be women but men in drag. So... so if all the other models had been from there then... then!

Nami's camera clicks, immortalising his horror forever.

"Perfect. Anyway Sanji, it's no big deal, they were pretty so what does it matter? Besides, it means your habit of staring at Zoro's junk isn't new! So come on, we're late to class." Nami grins and stands up.

Prompt at the end to avoid spoilers!

Turtlefriedrice: LOL ivankov is his teacher! Lord poor Sanji, next thing you know the women he drew werent women at all


	54. Chapter 54

BlackBarBooks: ANOTHER PROMPT WHEN YOU NEED IT. : Zoro arrives early to class because he's fresh from work/gym/being sexy/whateverdoesn'tmatter and Sanji is the first to arrive. giving them approximately 5 minutes completely alone.

"Oh, I just remembered that I forgot my books, Usopp come with me. Sanji you go on inside without me, we're five minutes early anyway!" Nami says, suddenly steering away from the door to their shared classroom with Usopp in a vicelike grip in her arm.

"But you-" Usopp protests before Nami elbows him.

"But... Nami...?" Sanji trails off as Nami yanks Usopp off his feet as she sprints away.

Sanji frowns at this odd behaviour and with a shrug enters the art classroom. He shuts the door behind him and is halfway into the room before he realises that he is indeed five minutes early and there is only one other person in the room. That person being a shirtless barefoot Zoro who is standing in front of Sanji's charcoal sketch pinned up against the wall.

Zoro's just... staring at it, his eyes running over the page, looking at himself reflected back in charcoal. Sanji dies a little inside looking at his art and then to Zoro's endlessly wonderful body. He looks at the dimples in the small of Zoro's back where hard muscles leave small voids on the way to those perfectly sculpted glutes. The plane of wonderfully bronze muscles that weave around ribs and structures that Sanji has seen in books and anatomy classes but never truly appreciated until he laid eyes on this man.

He wants to rip his art down and burn it because it will never touch this level of beauty that this man displays just by existing.

"UGH." Sanji huffs and stomps up to the wall, pulling the wretched thing down.

"Hey!" Zoro protests as Sanji opens his pad of paper and shoves the thing in, knowing that Iva will have fixed it with spray if it was on the wall.

"Don't, it's awful." Sanji mutters embarrassed.

"It's good." Zoro argues back, his hands on his hips in irritation.

"Well, you're not an art student so forgive me if your opinion doesn't count that much." Sanji says snippily.

"I could be, you don't know me." the guy argues back.

"Go on then, prove it. Draw yourself." Sanji says, passing Zoro a cheap pencil and a sheet of paper.

"I will!" Zoro shoots back and sits down at the table, scrawling on the paper and shielding it with his body as he draws so that Sanji can't peek.

Sanji chews his lip. He should try to be nice to this guy, he's just frustrated with himself and frustrated with his own art, it's not this guy's fault. Although it is his fault that he's sexually frustrated so he supposes he can be a little mean.

"There you go, curly. Weep at my natural talent." Zoro proclaims, standing and shoving the paper in Sanji's face.

In shock Sanji takes it.

He has never seen anything like this before.

In the middle of the paper is a semi stick figure drawing, he can tell it's supposed to be Zoro because there's a label that says "green" with an arrow to the spiky hair. There are three earrings in his perfectly spherical head but no ears. The stick figure has perplexingly burly arms and a muscled chest with about twelve abs on it and a huge scar. Worse still is that this... thing is on something.

"Is that... are you riding a dragon in this picture?" He questions in shock. This may be either the worst or best piece of art that he's ever seen.

"It's obviously a T-rex, some artist you are." Zoro smirks at him.

"Can... I keep this?" Sanji asks slowly, beaming at the picture.

"Should I sign it? It'll be worth more." Zoro laughs.

"Yeah, go for it." Sanji agrees handing it back, Zoro scrawls his name on the back with a flourish and hands it back to Sanji.

"I like to give something back to the fans." the green haired model snickers in amusement.


	55. Chapter 55

BlackBarBooks: ART CLASS PROMPT: ZORO FUCKING WROTE HIS FULL NAME AND PHONE NUMBER ON THE BACK OF THAT DAMN PICTURE. HE DID. YOU CAN'T DENY IT.

kellermarie asked you:

These model ones are awesome! You gotta have them run into each other outsude the classroom! Maybe Zoro's out doing his parkor and jumps over someting landing right on Sanji who's drawing somewhere. Anyways, as always, awesome!

I'm combining two prompts because that totally means I get 1k words, yeah?

Sanji sits on the roof of his apartment with his sketchpad, he's drawing Zoro again. Zoro's not even here but he's drawing him, he can't get him out of his head, it's pathetic. He wants to see him again, just to remind him just what shade of green his hair is. He sighs and flips open a new page in his sketchbook, as he does so something falls out and flutters to the ground.

He picks it up and realises with a grin that it's Zoro's amazingly shitty yet brilliant self portrait, he decides to turn it over to see just what this man's terrible artistic talent can do to a signature. He'd not had time to look in class because the others had all come in and Zoro had stripped, voiding Sanji's brain of sensible thought.

His jaw drops when he turns the page over though on the back it says Roronoa Zoro and then has a phone number. Zoro... gave him his phone number! Sanji scrambles for his phone and taps the number in, praying it won't be a rejection line or something. He hits dial before he can think about it and get too nervous.

"'lo?" Zoro's voice says through the receiver breathily. Sanji squeaks nervously, oh god this was a bad idea.

"...Sanji? Is that you?" Zoro's voice asks curiously.

"How'd you know?" Sanji manages.

"Cause man, embarrassed squeaking is like... half the noises that I get from you. Plus I gave you my number." Zoro laughs down the phone at him.

"Ah, shut up, idiot!" Sanji snaps down the phone a little loudly.

"Whoa... say that again?" Zoro asks him.

"What, ask you to shut up?" Sanji snorts down the phone.

"Where are you anyway? I can hear traffic on your end." Sanji frowns, listening to Zoro's breathing.

"I'm on the edge of a roof, parkour remember? I'm hanging up now, turn around." Zoro laughs and the line disconnects.

Sanji frowns and stares at his phone, curiously he turns around, just in time to see Zoro's body arc through the air and drop out of sight. He screams, they're on the sixth floor, Zoro's gonna DIE!

The idiot hauls himself over the flat edge of the roof and grinning dusts himself down and saunters over to Sanji who is just about having a heart attack.

"What the HELL! You're gonna DIE doing that!" Sanji screeches, clutching at his chest in fear.

"Ah, were you worried about me? How cute." Zoro grins, leaning into Sanji's space and making the artist blush.

"You live here then?" Zoro asks, wandering over to Sanji's sketchbook.

"Yeah, in the shitty little apartment to the side. It's okay though, it means the whole roof is mine and the glass house is really warm in the summer." Sanji gestures weakly to his crappy apartment. It's tiny and really probably illegal as a living space, but with all the natural light he couldn't say no to it. In the summer or when it's dry he does a lot of his cooking barbecue style outside on the grill or over his portable stove, he enjoys it. In the winter or in the rain he's got enough tools inside to cook but he prefers the space and light outside. His bed is in the middle of the glasshouse, it functions as much of a sofa for him as it does a bed, but he loves it. He loves being woken by the sunrise each morning and lazing in bed in the afternoons with the warm sun on his bare skin.

"You know most artists would kill you for looking through their sketchbooks uninvited." He notes, walking up to Zoro who is brazenly flicking through the pages as if it's totally normal.

"Hm, but I'm your subject, doesn't that mean I can?" Zoro smiles up at him lazily.

"Not automatically." Sanji grumbles and sits down next to Zoro, making no effort to stop him. Zoro pauses on one of the more detailed drawings of him, one where his face is tilted towards the viewer. Sanji had put a lot of effort into his face in that one, in fact the rest of him is just a sketchy mess. And the shoulders are all wrong too.

"Ugh. I can't get you right. You're really frustrating, you know that?" Sanji grumbles, leaning back so he doesn't have to look at that picture anymore.

"You draw me all flawed." Zoro says slowly.

"Hey!" Sanji protests.

"No, no. I mean..." Zoro corrects himself with a shake of his head.

"Like you don't care about my flaws, you draw me honestly. You're not drawing me like I'm just practice, you draw like... like you're really drawing who I am. Do I really look like that because it's... beautiful." Zoro says eventually.

Sanji sits up and looks down at the page with Zoro. He sees what Zoro means. He's drawn the sharp scowl of his eyebrows and the slight marks from where Zoro's always making that expression, he's drawn how the man's nose has a slight bump in it and the few scars high on his forehead, probably from his stupid parkour. He was just trying to be accurate, but the face on the page seems almost alive. It's probably one of the best things he's ever done, even though he's barely finished and he can find a million things wrong with it.

"Yeah, it is. And yeah... you do look like that." He says quietly.


	56. Chapter 56

masteryoshi88 asked you:

Model Zoro Prompt: Zoro ask Sanji to draw him like a French girl.

"Oh Sanji, stay behind." Iva calls as class finishes and Zoro stretches temptingly before Sanji, he's easing out muscles that must be cramped from standing in the same pose for so long. Sanji has no idea how he does it but would very sorely like to be rubbing for him.

"Sure." Sanji agrees as Zoro releases his elbow and groans happily. With another sinful stretch of his back Zoro bends down and grabs his trousers affording Sanji and the rest of the class a good eyeful of his perfect rear, Sanji glances to the side to see Nami biting her lip and Usopp rolling his eyes in despair at her.

Zoro slides into his trousers and pulls a shirt on over his head and with that the rest of the class leaves, having got their free show for the day.

The foofy haired teacher sidles up to Sanji and eyes over his work for the day, flicking through the pages of work. Sanji notices Zoro sneaking a little closer and craning his neck to see. He fights down the urge to snatch up all of the drawings and run away because none of them are anywhere near as good looking as Zoro himself is.

"What's up?" Sanji asks, stuffing them in his case and shutting it quickly before Zoro can get too good a look, he stands his ground and doesn't run though.

"I've entered you into the Human Body art show, with your latest drawings of Zoro you're more than capable of winning. The entry has to be a painting though, but that's your favourite medium, so you'll be fine. Deadline is two weeks, has to be of a human subject, I suggest Zoro here. Ok, bye." Ivankov says before flouncing out of the room with a dramatic twirl leaving Sanji and Zoro alone.

Sanji stands there in the classroom with his jaw hanging open. How could Iva do this to him?! To... to set him up like that and with ZORO of all people?! The bastard must have seen how he is with Zoro, he can hardly string a sentence together with the man around. To have him pose for a painting would take hours and he just... he'll DIE!

Zoro's warm finger comes under his jaw and clicks it shut for Sanji. He reddens at the contact but Zoro is just grinning.

"So, gonna draw me like one of your French girls?" Zoro snickers, quoting that stupid movie that always makes Sanji cry.

"SHUT IT YOU SHITTY BASTARD! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Sanji screeches, shoving him away and rushing from the room.

"Call me! I can come round yours and take my clothes off." Zoro shouts after him, making Sanji trip over his own feet in the hallway.


	57. Chapter 57

There is a woman, she is flirting with Sanji. Sanji is, for the first time in his life, unsure about how he feels about this.

Oh, she's clearly into him, of that much he's sure. She's showing all the signs, smiling, flirting with him, touching him. Little fluttery teasing touches to his arm or his hands. She'll lean forward a little sometimes and heave a deep cleavage swelling sigh that certainly isn't accidental.

Sanji still does not know how he feels about this.

"You're just so pretty Sanji, not like the rest of the... the... cauliflower faced lugs for guys you have on your crew." She huffs and shoots an adoring look at him.

Oh, a vegetable analogy and a compliment.

Sanji is still torn.

This is no comment on her looks. The woman, her name is Charlotte, that he met at the bar is gorgeous. She has long rippling brown hair and she smells divine, her lips are a perfect cupid's bow and her figure is to die for. Sanji could listen to her voice happily forever with it's honey sweet melodious tone but... the things that she's saying... tear him in two.

"I'm... flattered that you think so highly of me but they're really not so bad. I mean, ok, Brook is technically dead so fair enough there but..." Sanji admits, not everyone is as cool with a walking corpse as the rest of the crew are. Still his nakama are awesome people.

"Oh Sanji, you're so sweet, but you don't have to be kind to them." Charlotte purrs.

"I mean, when I was working at the bar earlier I had to serve that stupid haired brute with the swords and just, ugh, you know?" She says rolling her eyes and casting a disparaging look at Zoro from across the bar. Zoro is oblivious and laughing happily with Nami as the two of them get into a drinking contest. Nami is rosy cheeked and happy and Zoro is grinning widely as well, they look happy.

"He's not all bad." Sanji murmurs, hardly able to believe the words coming from his lips.

Sanji would usually consider himself the president of the "Zoro is a useless pirate and a mannerless ape" club. But... well, that's not entirely true and he says it knowing and appreciating all of Zoro's good points. He's strong and he's kinda smart at times. He's pretty intelligent in his own way and he's as loyal and dedicated as they come. It doesn't mean that he's not a plant brained, directionless, tactless, blithering idiot. No, he certainly is those things too. But he's more than just his flaws.

Charlotte doesn't know all of this of course and he'd hate to correct a lady so many times in such a short expanse of time.

"And ugh, that guy with the freakish face. The long nosed one, the one who looked like he had a clothes peg on his face. I don't mind people looking a little goofy, don't get me wrong. But he's such a liar, it's just stupid." Charlotte adds with a sigh.

"It's people like him that make people assume that pirates are always liars and miscreants instead of sea-faring gentlemen like yourself." Charlotte smiles, batting her eyelashes at him and shifting forward against the table so that her breasts become more prominent. That distracting sight mollifies Sanji for a few (admittedly quite a few) moments.

"Tell me more about you." Sanji suggests, changing the topic and hoping for something a little more comfortable.

"Oh, well. I work at the bar in the evenings sometimes, as I'm sure you guessed!" She giggles. Sanji had met her up there but she'd quickly excused herself to entertain herself with his presence, most flattering indeed.

"My cousin owns it so I help her out sometimes. We get a lot of rough types in here so I hate to leave her alone, but nothing like you usually. For the rest of the time I'm an assistant baker at the local patisserie." She says airily.

"Oh wow! Please tell me more!" Sanji enthuses gleefully.

"It's just the greatest you know? I love cooking for people. I know desserts aren't that important but I like giving people sweet things, it makes them happy." She beams.

Sanji thinks that he might be in love. He says as much and makes her giggle. There's even little heart shaped clouds of smoke drifting up from his cigarette.

He hears Nami's yelp from across the bar and Sanji's spine instantly jerks him up straight. A lecherous pirate with a scruffy stubbly beard has his hand on Nami's ass and she looks more than a little startled and upset.

"Keep that hand there and I'll charge you for it." Nami snarls at him.

"I'd listen to her buddy." Zoro says in a jovial tone, but Sanji recognises the steel in his eyes just as surely as he sees Zoro's hand subtly travelling to the steel hanging at his waist.

"What're you gonna do about it?" The guy sneers and reaches for Nami's arm.

"You use it you lose it, fair warning." Zoro threatens, his hand on the hilt of his sword. Nami's own hand is moving the hem of her skirt higher to the blue weapon beneath. The guy's hand catches Nami's arm and in a flash of steel and a spurt of blood it is no longer attached to his wrist. Zoro flicks the blade clean in a splatter across the floor and kicks the hand across the floor. Nami pivots and wields her clima tact, lightning sparking from the end and daring anyone to challenge them.

"Oh my god, they're fucking crazy." Charlotte whispers in horror.

"Zoro's not crazy, he warned him." Sanji answers absently, standing up and eyeing the mutilated guy's friends.

"Think that's our last order, boys." Nami says, the crew all gravitating to her. Sanji is no exception.

Charlotte grabs a hold of his jacket sleeve and looks up at him.

"You're not going with those lunatics are you?!" She asks in shock.

"Those lunatics are my crew, so yes." Sanji replies a little stiffly and walks to his nakama. This evening has been very strange all in all.

"But what about us?" Charlotte calls, leaping to her feet as he leaves the bar with them.

Sanji pauses in the door.

"Sorry but... I don't think you're my type." Sanji calls back to her and, with a quick glance to his nakama feels right in his words. How very strange.

Out in the cold street the lot of them walk back to the ship, jovial and chatting. Nami inspects the back of her shirt where the tiniest speck of blood has landed.

"You're buying me a new shirt you know, there's blood all on the back." She insists to Zoro.

"There is not." Zoro retorts.

"You're buying me two shirts now for arguing." Nami reprimands him and waves her weapon in his face. Zoro glowers but nods.

"Fine." He answers in his surliest voice possible.

"You're a sweetie." Nami chirps and kisses him on the cheek. Sanji doesn't even resent him for it. Perhaps he needs to see Chopper, yet somehow... he feels just right.


	58. Chapter 58

Sanji had never wanted to marry this Zoro bastard, it was a whole political thing. The kingdom of Baratie needed stronger alliances and their immediate neighbours were all either allied against them or were already allies with Baratie. The country of Shimotsuki was very far away, a good two months travel time and until a few months ago Sanji had never even heard of the place.

His father had been adamant on the issue of marriage though, it would unite their lands permanently. Shimotsuki were a nation of warriors but they lacked proper resources of food production which limited their military powers. Baratie on the other hand was a plentiful land but rife with criminals and other types unsuited for organised military combat. It wasn't that their people weren't skilled or well trained, those countries who had tried to invade Baratie had found that out to their peril. Baratans were a stubborn and ill organised people who specialised in defending what was theirs, they were thorough masters of guerilla warfare. With the powers of their cultures and lands combined they could become a strong force.

All of that though seemed to fail to take into account that both parties in this marriage were male, would produce no heirs and had never even met before their wedding. Their wedding of course was a very delicate affair, Sanji had to do his part as was customary, vowing before god to honour his partner and hold their vows true etc. etc, but Zoro's people were all staunch atheists and could not be persuaded to swear anything to any god. Their whole ceremony was an uncomfortable mishmash of cultures and traditions that proved highly cringeworthy for him and his new husband.

It was decided by Sanji's father the King and Zoro's father the Emperor that they would live for ten months in one country and ten months in the other, with the two months travel in between that more or less equated to Zoro spending their first year married away from his family, not a position that Sanji envies but one he will have to mirror next year.

At Sanji's side is his translator Usopp and at Zoro's side was his translator Robin. That was another hitch in their marriage, neither of them spoke each other's language. Luckily for Sanji he grew up as good friends with Usopp so he trusts the man's judgement on Zoro.

The four of them are alone together for the first time, Zoro and Robin on one side of the table, both stoic and impossible to read, Sanji and Usopp on the other.

Robin looks at Zoro for a moment before trying a few languages before catching onto one that Usopp recognises, Sanji unfortunately doesn't recognise it and it seems that Zoro doesn't either. The two of them converse briefly and smile at their respective royalty, Zoro looks ill at ease with Robin's smile.

"We've decided we're going to work together to teach you each other's languages! Unless it's an exceptional circumstance we're not going to translate for you, we're going to tell you what you should say and you say it. That way you'll learn and bond with each other." Usopp chirps happily.

Sanji gawps in shock at Usopp. Zoro's expression remains impassive but he flips Robin off.

There is no way that this is going to work.


	59. Chapter 59

Zoro hates this goddamn country, the weather is too cold and it rains frequently. Oh, and he's married to the stupid prince of the stupid place.

"I can't believe that you won't translate for us." Zoro accuses Robin flatly.

"Yes you can." Robin says, filing her nails and not even looking up at Zoro.

"Okay, I can believe it, it's just the sort of shit you'd pull. But what exactly are you hoping to achieve by doing it?" Zoro questions. It's unlike Robin to do something without a motive, so she must be planning something.

"Maybe it'll put you in a position of common ground with him, maybe you'll have to think before you speak. Or maybe I just like seeing you squirm, we may never know." Robin smirks at him. Zoro scowls at her but Robin has long since been immune to his glares. She just flicks her dark hair over her shoulder and blows on her fingernails.

"How about translating this for me? 'Can you believe the shit these translators are pulling?' I'll even go and say it to him myself, just like you want." Zoro grumbles.

Robin smiles and reaches forward onto the table. She pulls a pad of paper towards her and carefully writes something down before handing it to Zoro.

Zoro stares at the paper. Even the letters that this country uses are unfamiliar to him, but Robin has helpfully phonetically translated his words below. If he's going to communicate with this Sanji bastard it seems like he's going to have to do it the hard way.

The blonde's language is all understated sounds, slithering from one sound to the next, soft sounds made in the back of the throat that elude Zoro but sound so easy coming from Robin. He has to try the sentence several times before he gets something that sounds even recognisably like Robin's words.

"Thanks for being so unhelpful." Zoro mutters, taking the paper with him and stalking away from the smirking Robin and back inside the building where Sanji and his useless translator are sitting. He stops before the blonde prince who looks up at him in surprise. The blonde and his translator are playing cards. The prissy prince puts his cards face down and straightens up to look at Zoro with some level of curiosity.

Zoro focuses on the paper before him and repeats what Robin taught him.

Sanji and his translator look puzzled before the long nosed translator bursts into hysterical laughter. The two of them converse quickly before Sanji also sniggers.

"What did I just say that was so funny?" Zoro demands, glaring at Usopp.

"I think you pissed Robin off, she made you say 'I need to learn that being grumpy at my translator will get me nowhere'" Usopp giggles, trying to contain his laughter enough to speak.

"ROBIN!" Zoro snarls, stalking back out to her with Sanji and Usopp's laughter chasing him.


	60. Chapter 60

Waiting in the dentist's office always takes too goddamn long, Zoro doesn't want to get into that chair, even though he knows that it's best. Getting dental work done is no fun and he sure as shit doesn't relish the opportunity. Even so it doesn't have to take so long to be called and would it kill them to update the magazines so that there is something to read that has been published in the last six months?

Zoro's restlessness vanishes though when the smoking hot blonde struts into the waiting room, his hips having just the right amount of shimmy to attract 100% of Zoro's attention to what is possibly the best ass that he has ever seen. The guy has long, lean and muscled legs in jeans that may as well be spray painted onto him for all the good they do him. He's practically drooling by the time blondie finishes up with the receptionist and sits down into a chair vaguely opposite him with a bored huff.

Ok, this is his chance.

"What're you in for?" Zoro asks suddenly, noting the bruise on the bridge of the blonde guy's nose. The blonde looks at him with narrowed eyes, or rather, eye as one of them is covered by blonde hair.

"My teeth, shit-brain." The blonde says as if Zoro is especially slow.

"Yeah, but you've got a big bruise on your face. Did you get in a fight?" Zoro asks, hoping that the answer is yes and that this guy actually has the feisty streak in him that Zoro adores in his partners. From his aggressive answer he would bet that the answer is yes.

"Some guys were intimidating a customer at my restaurant. They got a lucky punch in but they both left in an ambulance so I won." The blonde sniffs and scowls at Zoro as if challenging him to deny that statement.

"I believe you. Uhh...?" Zoro says, fishing for the guy's name.

"Sanji. They knocked a tooth out but my dentist says he can do a replacement easy, look." The blonde says, opening his mouth to reveal a missing canine. Zoro lets out a low and impressed whistle, no wonder the sexy blonde kicked their asses for that, it must have hurt.

"Impressive." Zoro agrees, moving to sit near to Sanji so that he can see the imperfect yet still attractive smile even better.

"What about you? That's quite a cut you're sporting on your chin there." Sanji comments, reaching out and touching a finger to the underside of Zoro's chin. Right where the blonde's long fingers are is a huge graze and a big cut where his chin spit open.

"Bunch of guys tried to rob a friend of mine whilst we were drunk. I fought em off but I was drunk enough to lose my footing when one of them kicked me from behind and I bit pavement, check it out." Zoro explains and opens his mouth to reveal his jagged and chipped front upper teeth.

"Oh shit." Sanji murmurs, wincing in sympathy.

"Did you win though?" The blonde asks with a sultry looking smile, leaning to his side and watching Zoro intently.

"Hell yeah, you should have seen them." Zoro boasts confidently. He watches as Sanji's gaze flickers from his injured chin and down over his chest and- yes, that was it, Sanji just checked out his groin! The blonde is looking him over!

"I would have paid to see you." Sanji says smoothly and Zoro grins, showing his chipped teeth. Yeah, there's no way he's imagining this, the blonde is into him too.

"Well, either way it's lucky that I'm getting it fixed. Chipped up teeth really fucks with my blow job abilities, and that's a real shame considering how mind blowing mine usually are." Zoro purrs, betting it all on this line as he leans a little more into Sanji's space.

The blonde blinks at him in stunned surprise for a second or two before settling into a confident grin.

"Lucky for me I guess. Lucky for you too that I think getting this fixed is going to take about the same amount of time that you getting that fixed will take. Maybe I'll see you afterwards." Sanji grins at him.

"Zoro?" The receptionist calls out for him. Zoro stands up with an entirely unneeded flex and totally uncalled for stretch of his back that makes his shirt rise up in what he hopes is a tempting manner.

"Maybe." He agrees and saunters off.

"See you later Zoro." The blonde calls after him as Zoro disappears up the stairs to see his dentist, certain that his mind isn't going to be on his dental work for the next hour or so.


	61. Chapter 61

A/N: This isn't 500 words, but it was an impulsive drabble that just kept growing, so it's going here. enjoy.

Sanji has been awake for the last forty hours straight and he is so fucking tired that he could cry. He'd woken up at 7am, cooked breakfast, then lunch, then dinner all as usual. That night he'd had watch which should have taken him half of the night, but poor sweet Nami was after him and he couldn't make her stay up and so he'd volunteered for her shift. 7am had rolled around once more and he had tiredly made breakfast and prepared a sandwich lunch for his crew, intending on sleeping through to before dinner time when he would wake up to cook. Only he'd not been allowed to sleep as three marine warships had done their best to surround the Sunny and arrest all of them. They'd kicked their asses of course but it had taken time and then they had to get away, correct their course again and by the time all that was done Sanji was almost due to start cooking again. He'd hazily cooked, served, and eaten only to then be left with the cleaning. At present he has just finished the last surface clean and stacked the last plate in the drying rack as the clock informs him that he's on hour forty of wakefulness.

All Sanji wants is to get into his hammock and sleep like the dead, that's all. He makes his way dumbly down the hallway, his shoulder bumping off of the wall as sleep dulls his co-ordination, the men's bunk room is just down the hallway, past the bathroom and what had been the quarantine bedroom. A while back a few of them had contracted a nasty bug and Chopper had set them aside in a room to keep the rest of the crew safe, however, since he and Zoro had become a thing the large double bed had stayed put and despite the room being cleaned and disinfected no one seems to be in a hurry to turn it back into the large storage room it had been. Of course no one in the crew has said anything but Sanji has a strong guilty suspicion that he and Zoro aren't as subtle as they think that they are, especially as that room gets used by them more often than not.

The bathroom door opens and he finds his world tilting suddenly. Before he knows it, the bathroom door is shut and he's pressed against the adam wood panelled wall of the bathroom with Zoro's mouth on his. Sanji whines and pushes against Zoro's chest with his hands. Zoro's chest is bare and Sanji's pretty sure that he's just wearing a towel around his waist. Despite all of that though Zoro's body is actually dry, he's clearly not had a shower or anything himself yet.

"I'm too tired for-" he starts but cuts himself off as his brain adds up the steam filling the room and the full bath in the middle of the room.

"You ran a bath for me?" Sanji asks weakly. Zoro grins at him, all sharp teeth and cockiness.

"Yeah, but if you're 'too tired'..." Zoro teases, his voice mocking.

"Oh god shut up." he replies, too tired to argue.

"Yessir." Zoro grins, his obedience pinging something odd in Sanji's brain and pulling all of his attention to Zoro. Zoro pushes him back against the wall and kisses the edge of his jaw as thick fingers find Sanji's tie and loosen it, eventually pulling it off completely. Sanji's eyes flutter shut as Zoro unbuttons the shirt that he's worn for so long that he's surprised it doesn't stay in shape when Zoro drops it to the floor.

"You ran a bath for me." Sanji repeats a little dazed, still vaguely surprised at Zoro's thoughtfulness. Zoro doesn't say anything, perhaps obeying Sanji's demand that he be quiet and instead reaches inside Sanji's trouser pockets. With some fiddling Zoro produces one of Sanji's cigarettes and a lighter.

Zoro holds the cigarette between his lips and, maintaining eye contact with Sanji the whole time, flicks open his lighter and lights it. Sanji's eyes widen as Zoro inhales the first drag of the cigarette, the end flaring bright red as he does so. Since when does Zoro smoke?

The swordsman pulls the cigarette from his mouth with agile hands and leans forward into Sanji's space, he pushes against Sanji and kisses him hard and open mouthed, smoke softly exhaling from Zoro's nose and into the space inside Sanji's mouth. When the swordsman pulls back from the dazed Sanji he places the lit and smoking cigarette into Sanji's mouth and then shuts his hanging jaw on it. Out of reflex Sanji breathes it in and the hit of nicotine makes his body relax a little all over.

The moss ball smiles triumphantly at him, as if he's won some great prize and then falls to his knees before Sanji.

"What are you up to?" Sanji asks, taking another drag of his cigarette. Zoro just grins and says nothing, instead just taking Sanji's right foot off of the floor and resting it against his thigh. Quickly he unlaces Sanji's shoe and pulls it off of his foot, peeling his sock off along with it before repeating the action on Sanji's left foot. The swordsman rises up onto his knees again so that his shoulders are level with Sanji's hips. Deft fingers undo Sanji's belt, pop open his button, zip open his fly and peel Sanji's black slacks off of him in one smooth movement.

"Ok, I didn't mean to tell you to shut up, but this is odd without you talking. Say something, please?" Sanji asks, palming his hand into Zoro's hair and letting the green strands run through his fingers.

Despite all of Zoro's attentions to him in stripping him Sanji is still not hard at all, he's pretty sure that he's just too damn tired to be and in all honestly he's a little self conscious about it. If Zoro has pulled him in here for sex in the bath then he's not sure it's going to work.

"C'mon, up." Zoro insists, speaking again at last. His hands find Sanji's ass and Zoro quickly jerks him up off of the floor and pulls Sanji's legs up to his waist, making Sanji wrap his legs around Zoro out of sheer self preservation to not end up with his head cracked open on the bathroom floor.

"Oi!" Sanji squeaks in alarm. He squirms to get loose but Zoro just laughs and walks over to the bath that's set in the floor. The rim of the bath is more or less at the same level as the wooden floor around it and so Zoro just shimmies out of his towel with a little wiggle of his hips before stepping down into the bath with Sanji still clinging to him like a barnacle.

The cook groans long and loud as the hot water hits his skin as Zoro submerges them. He nearly loses his cigarette as he does so but manages to catch it last minute out of reflex. His ass finally hits the seat of the jacuzzi-like bath. Sanji melts slowly into it, sliding down into the water until his head hits the lip of the tub. His feet brush against Zoro's knees as his body goes loose and relaxed.

"Stupid cook staying up so long, if you just napped like a normal person then this wouldn't happen." Zoro sighs irritably and catches Sanji's right foot by the ankle.

"What would you know about normooOOOHHH..." Sanji groans as Zoro presses the pad of his thumb into the arch of Sanji's foot. The muscle under Zoro's thumb tenses and spasms, the arch of his foot going tight with the built up tension of being on his feet for nearly two whole days straight.

"Shhh." Zoro shushes him, rubbing his thumb hard along the tenon, eventually making it relax under the pressure. He moves on, his strong fingers methodically covering every inch of Sanji's foot from the sore heel to the joints in his toes and everything in between. Sanji is practically melting by the time Zoro switches to his other foot and when he's done completely he's limp and boneless as he bobs in the hot water of the bath. His cigarette has long since burnt out and been discarded off to the side of the bath and between the foot massage and the smokes his system is humming with complete contentment.

A strong arm wraps around Sanji's waist and pulls him across the bath and into Zoro's lap. He rests on muscled thighs as Zoro pulls him close, the tip of Zoro's nose brushing into the hair behind Sanji's ear.

"You need to look after yourself, moron. You're no good to anyone if you're dead on your feet like that and if you don't look after yourself that means I gotta." Zoro huffs at him and something across the room clicks. Sanji scowls, his eyes opening again (when had they drifted shut? He doesn't remember that.) and he squirms in Zoro's grip to look over his shoulder at him.

"No one asked you to-" He begins, protesting Zoro's lecture. Zoro's hardly one to go on about taking care of himself, this is the idiot that once tried to cut off his own feet for crying out loud!

"Shut up." Zoro insists and kisses him, slow and gentle.

He's still mad at Zoro but... well... he's tired and Zoro is being so physically affectionate that it's hard not to respond. He turns in Zoro's arms and kisses him back, Zoro's mouth moving slow and languid against him, a slick smoky tongue sliding against Sanji's own as they lazily make out in the warm water of the bath. Zoro's hands spread out against Sanji's chest, slick with something that Sanji recognises as soap as the smell of patchouli hits his senses.

Zoro's soapy hands wander as they kiss slowly, running over Sanji's pectorals and over his ribs. Zoro's thumbs run over tense muscles and slow there, rubbing in something almost massage like, just enough to make him relax a little under his touch. He sighs into Zoro's mouth as the swordsman's calloused and soapy hands come up to Sanji's collar bones and rub over his shoulders and up his neck. They run over both of his arms and then one comes to rest between Sanji's shoulder blades whilst the other trails down Sanji's stomach.

"Relax, I've got you." Zoro says softly. Sanji is about to question the sweet but unusual statement until Zoro's arm that is pressed into his back starts to change its angle and lower him backwards. Sanji catches onto the idea and relaxes against Zoro, letting the swordsman lean him back into the water, his thighs easily flexing to allow the stretch. Zoro holds him so that the water just covers his chest but keeps his face out of the water, just enough to wash the soap off of him.

Zoro pulls him back up and kisses his wet lips just once before pushing Sanji face first into the side of the bath, facing out of the bath with his back to Zoro. Sanji readily slumps over the rim of the bath, crossing his arms limply on the wooden floorboards and resting his head on his forearms.

The smell of soap fills Sanji's nose again and Zoro's slicked up hands roam over Sanji's wet exposed back, massaging the suds into every knot and tight muscle. By now Sanji's not even bothering to suppress the little whimpers and whines that Zoro takes from him with each kink worked out of his body, he's too tired to do that. He's barely even there as it is, his mind is floating off on a mix of sleep deprivation and utter relaxation.

Sanji lazily contemplates that Zoro has never treated him this way before. Sure, things between them are still relatively new, so much so that Sanji can count on one hand the times they've actually had full on sex. They've had rough after fight sex, they've had competitive sex, they've had passionate sex and so on. Despite all of that though Zoro's never been like this with him before. It's not the gentleness so much, Zoro's been gentle with him before, even if that was before they got together. Before Chopper was part of the crew he and Zoro often had to patch each other up, Sanji's fingers being skilled enough to look after a wound and Zoro having had enough experience with his own to be capable. Even when they had put injuries on each other they were usually the ones patching each other up. Zoro was always gentle with him then. So it's not the gentleness of Zoro's hands that surprises Sanji so much, enough that even his sleep fogged mind doesn't let it go. It's the tenderness.

Zoro's hands on his body are slow and careful. It's not about Zoro feeling him up or Zoro bitching and taking care of Sanji because he's failed to do it himself, even if that was more or less the pretence that Zoro threw him in here for. Zoro seems to be doing this just for Sanji's benefit. Just to make him feel... feel what?

Zoro scoops up water out of the bath and rinses Sanji's back clean of suds before fiddling with the shower head that rests on top of the taps until it puts out water at a temperature that seems to please him. With that done he holds it carefully over Sanji's head and works his fingers through Sanji's hair, cleaning any grime, sea salt and soap suds free from him. After that's done Zoro clambers out of the water, catching his previously discarded towel up off of the floor and wrapping it around his waist.

With apparently no thought to his own body Zoro reaches down with one hand and wraps it around Sanji's right bicep and gently pulls him from the water, Sanji's legs activating enough to help Zoro with the task. Sanji stands on the bathroom floor, feeling comparatively chilly now that he's out of the hot bathwater. His legs feel a little weak underneath him, like he's some newborn foal or something. God he must be really over worked. He's been staying up longer lately, he's not been willing to let his time with Zoro cut too much into anything else that he does so he's been getting up earlier to cook, staying up later with Zoro so that they can be alone. He's perhaps been burning the candle at both ends for too long.

He shivers in the cooling air just as Zoro dumps a giant fluffy bath towel onto Sanji's shoulders. It's clear that he'd taken it from the radiator as Sanji can feel the stripes of warmth in it as it settles onto his skin.

"Move it, shit cook." Zoro says quietly, his hands shepherding Sanji to the sink and mirror at the side of the room. Sanji blinks blearily at his reflection for a few moments before looking at Zoro's face in the mirror. The man's expression is furrowed in concentration and perhaps... yes, a tinge of worry. Zoro's been worrying about him. How had he not noticed this until now. He should say something. Sanji opens his mouth to do just that but Zoro shoves Sanji's toothbrush in there instead, nearly making Sanji choke in the process.

The cook takes the hint and starts brushing as Zoro pulls the end of Sanji's towel and rubs it all over Sanji's hair, scrubbing at his scalp and his hair to get the water out. Sanji switches to brushing his front teeth as Zoro starts to rub down Sanji's shoulders and back, chasing the water away with each slightly harsh rub of the towel. He allows his eyes to flutter shut as he brushes his teeth and lets Zoro fuss at him. He's never been looked after like this. It's a little odd but it's pretty damn nice.

Zoro clearly doesn't have the forethought to have brought a hairbrush in the bathroom but the moss ball does scratch his fingers through Sanji's locks to straighten them out and assess how wet they still are, occasionally stopping to dry him off a little more here and there. Zoro's fingers dip into Sanji's fringe and the cook watches his reflection as Zoro's hand shakes the strands of hair there apart from one big wet clump and instead into long wet tendrils of hair clinging to each other enough so that both of his eyes are visible at the same time. Zoro huffs in displeasure and Sanji's visage dissapears momentarily from the mirror as the towel falls over his eyes and Zoro rapidly rubs Sanji's head and covers his fringe. When the cook's vision returns he's looking a little drier, although a little bit more like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards. Ah well, there's only so much he can expect from a man who's hair looks like it could actually be a hedge.

Zoro interrupts Sanji's thoughts as he picks him up and turns him around, dropping Sanji's bare butt onto the counter top. Normally Sanji would protest but, hey, he knows that he's clean now after that bath. Zoro continues to towel him off, pausing only when Sanji pulls away to spit into the sink and abandon his toothbrush on the side of the sink.

Zoro takes Sanji's left arm and, with both hands, rubs over his skin. The mint in his toothpaste and the act of brushing his teeth has paradoxically woken Sanji up a little, enough at least for him to really watch Zoro as he goes about his self mandated task of drying Sanji off bit by bit.

Zoro's brow is furrowed with complete concentration, the kind that he's seen on Zoro in fights or in training. He's 100% focused on what he's doing. Despite how much he's drying Sanji off though, the idiot is still sopping wet himself and leaving a puddle on the floor as water trails down his legs and back.

His hands find their way to Zoro's waist and he easily pulls off the hastily wrapped towel there and pulls it off of him. He rubs Zoro's towel in the marimo's hair, taking the dampness out of it even though Zoro hasn't properly washed his own hair, instead he'd apparently just focused on Sanji. He makes Zoro's earrings tingle as he rubs the sides of his neck, but before he can get any further Zoro's hands catch Sanji's wrists.

"I can look after myself, I'm focusing on you right now, stupid." Zoro says, pressing Sanji's hands gently into the counter top again, his wrist just brushing the cool ceramic of the edge of the sink.

"I can too." Sanji points out reasonably, his mind coming back online a little more. Zoro's eyes narrow almost imperceptibly and his thin green brows pull down in the slightest of frowns. Zoro doesn't answer but keeps drying Sanji off, kneeling now to get the cook's tired and tense calves.

"You're worried about me." Sanji says instead, catching Zoro around the back of his neck with his leg.

"I don't worry." Zoro argues, scowling like Sanji just insulted him, his mother and his entire reputation as a swordsman. Sanji's head nearly splits in half with a grin. Not only is Zoro WORRIED about him but he's embarrassed about it. Puppies and kittens can move aside because this has to be the most adorable thing Sanji's seen in his whole shitty life. Big macho Zoro with his poor personal hygiene, stupid scars and complete immunity to alcohol is embarrassed about being worried and sweet to him. Sanji his to bite his bottom lip to keep him from giggling.

"I'm sure. I appreciate the worship all the same though... thanks." Sanji smiles instead, wrapping his arms and legs around Zoro and pulling him in for a kiss.

"I'm pretty grateful..." Sanji purrs softly, Zoro's sweetness having done more than a little for Sanji's mood. Quite frankly Sanji would be stupid not to reward Zoro for such awesome behaviour. He scoots himself a little closer to Zoro and rolls his hips up against the swordsman, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Hey, wait, you don't have to- you should sleep. I'm trying to take care of you, dumb cook, I don't need you expending any more energy." Zoro berates him.

Sanji wants to pout but he restrains himself. If Zoro wants to play the good little servant waiting on him hand and foot then that's fine, he can work with that.

"Fair enough, carry me to bed then. Come on." Sanji commands, wrapping his arms around Zoro's neck and looking up at him expectantly.

"Oh I see, I do something nice for you and then it's set in stone and expected forever huh?" Zoro snorts, looking down at Sanji with an unimpressed but reluctantly amused expression.

"Glad that you understand. Come on, chop chop." He orders airily.

"Yessir." Zoro laughs and picks Sanji up again, his hands on the cook's ass as Sanji clings to him. Zoro opens the bathroom door and quickly crosses the hallway to what is rapidly becoming their room.

"Put me on the bed." Sanji insists haughtily and Zoro does just that, dropping Sanji with a bounce onto the mattress. Sanji grins and gets his heel into the meat of Zoro's hamstring, causing the swordsman to buckle and come down onto the bed with him.

"Oh, hello. I want a kiss." Sanji says innocently, as if Zoro had decided to come down there by his own free will. He pulls the towel from Zoro's waist just as he snags the moss ball's mouth with his own. As the reigning champion of multi tasking he kisses Zoro thoroughly as he balls up the towel that Zoro had and then flings it at the ajar bedroom door, making it slam shut.

"You've been up for two days Sanji, you should sleep." Zoro pants, pulling back from Sanji with a flush on his face but good intentions clear in his voice.

"I'm not- aaah." Sanji is caught out by a yawn interrupting him mid sentence and giving him away whilst allowing Zoro to look insufferably smug.

Sanji frowns and runs his hands up Zoro's strong arms, feeling all of the muscles there. Zoro is right, he is tired. His body is mush from Zoro's ministrations and despite his interest in Zoro he's not sure how far he can take this. There's no urgency in his system, no fire, the usual burning desire that he has for Zoro is missing, drowned out by the thick blanket of lethargy that's smothering him.

"Stay with me?" He pleads quietly. He leans up on his elbows and gently kisses Zoro's skin along his neck. Zoro smells clean and damp from their bath and he feels the way that Zoro shivers against him.

"Please?" He adds in barely a whisper, kissing the hollow of Zoro's throat. Zoro whines and nods sharply. Sanji feels himself smile, lazy and sleepy.

He relaxes back down into the bed, his head resting on his pillow, his damp hair no doubt making his pillowcase wet as he does so. His tired muscles unwind against the support of the mattress and he sleepily lets his hands trail over Zoro's chest, not so much feeling him up as just... feeling.

He presses a finger into the scar that Mihawk gifted Zoro on Sanji's first day of knowing him. The wound, though long healed, is still deep, a jagged faultline in Zoro's chest that stretches from collar bone to hip bone. He feels over the small scar under Zoro's ribs that feels like the result of a knife, others on Zoro's shoulders and flanks. Each little bit of him a roadmap of his dangerous lifestyle.

"Which one is the oldest scar?" He asks, the words spilling from his lips as soon as they enter his mind.

"Uh... on my chest or anywhere?" Zoro questions, looking down at his own chest.

"Anywhere." Sanji says, his curiosity rising. Zoro smiles gently and settles himself on his front, his legs between Sanji's as he rests partly on top of the cook, resting most of his weight on his elbows.

"When I was, oh... about five I think, I fell down this big rocky hill in the woods and cut my hand open on a rock. See?" Zoro says, holding his right hand up and pointing to an ever so faint jagged line on the side of Zoro's hand, near the heel of his palm.

Sanji thinks about that for a few moments, no doubt the young Zoro was lost in the first place. He wonders what Zoro was like then, wonders if it hurt, if Zoro cried. He laces his fingers with Zoro's own and pulls the hand close to his face and kisses the ghost faint scar.

He curls up and kisses Zoro again on the mouth, the two of them lazily exchanging kisses as if they have all of the hours in the world to give. There is no rush, there's nothing to cook, no watch shift to get to and no marines to fight. It's just the two of them. Sanji wraps one leg around Zoro and lets his foot run down the back of Zoro's calf, his toes feeling the line of Zoro's ankle scars.

"What are you up to?" Zoro questions curiously, his voice a little suspicious as if he suspects that Sanji is plotting something.

"Just reacquainting myself with what's mine." Sanji answers teasingly, expecting Zoro to bluster and protest that he doesn't 'belong' to Sanji at all. He thinks that it'll ignite some fire in Zoro and get things going. Seeing Zoro angry and turned on always does it for Sanji and right now he wants this, however sleepy and lazy he feels, so if getting Zoro riled up is the way to do it then so be it.

"With what's yours huh?" Zoro asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Sanji says, his voice more of a sleepy sigh than the mocking tone he'd been aiming for.

"Well, ok then." Zoro says with no fight in his voice. The swordsman's head ducks down and Zoro's sharp nose traces across the skin of Sanji's chest, stopping every now and then so that Zoro can drop a kiss here or there.

Sanji squirms happily under Zoro, this wasn't what he'd expected, none of this was but damn... he's ok with all of this. He's so ok it's mind blowing. He tangles his hands in Zoro's damp hair and smells him, that mix of water, soap and something like steel that reminds him of Zoro. Zoro's hands run down Sanji's sides, almost petting him like a cat.

Zoro bites the edge of Sanji's shoulder and the cook whines quietly. Zoro apologetically runs his tongue over the place and then drops a kiss to the skin there. He moves on, kissing each one of Sanji's abdominal muscles, every rib and his hipbones. Sanji distantly realises that the quiet voice pleading and saying yes is his own, his mouth is running without him even really knowing it.

He's boneless and passive against the bedsheets as Zoro takes his time working his way across the inches of Sanji's skin, stopping and paying attention each time Sanji's vocalisations mount into something more enthusiastic than mere noises. It's not a race to get to the point, there doesn't even seem to be a point to this, it's just... nice. He feels like Zoro's exploring him and just wandering almost lost over his skin, relying on Sanji's feedback to guide him.

"Oh, oh, oh." Sanji exclaims, his hips bucking as Zoro kisses the hardness that Sanji didn't even realise that he'd developed. He nearly climaxes out of sheer surprise and it takes actual effort to hold it back.

"Sorry, I didn't- you're tired I should-" Zoro starts, beginning to push up and away from Sanji.

"No, please! Just... slow." Sanji pleads, peeling his eyes open and looking at Zoro sleepily. He's too tired to fight him, if Zoro doesn't want this then Sanji doesn't have the energy to persuade him but... he really does want this.

"Come here?" Sanji asks hopefully, looking at Zoro with sleepy eyes. Zoro hesitates for a moment but leans in as Sanji moves up to kiss him at the same time. They meet in the middle and it's slow and perfect again. He rests his tired body back onto the bed, taking Zoro back with him. As Zoro moves to accommodate Sanji's movement his thigh presses against Sanji's cock and he happily whines and rolls against him. They kiss anyway, a push and pull, give and take that reminds Sanji's sleepy brain of the waves and the sea.

He doesn't know how long they stay like that for, just kissing and touching. He and Zoro's hands roaming and exploring but neither of them separating the kiss, like something might change or break if they do. Zoro's hands are in his hair when Sanji finally takes the plunge and pulls back, angling his head into Zoro's fingers and he parts his lips and speaks.

"I want... you." He pleads quietly. He's so very tired but he wants this so much, he needs to feel close to Zoro. He does already but it's not enough, each move closer is great but still not where Sanji wants to be. He's too tired to articulate all of that but he desperately hopes that the other man understands and gets it.

"You're so sleepy..." Zoro breathes, his hand carding through Sanji's hair as he says it.

"No... please... please I want-" Sanji whines needily.

"Shh, I can do all the work if you like." Zoro offers, making Sanji's eyes open in surprise. He'd expected Zoro to tell him that he was too tired and to fuss at him. Zoro's eyes are dark and hopeful though. Zoro is clearly tired himself and worried for him too, but Sanji would have to be actually asleep to not see that Zoro wants this too.

Sanji swallows and nods, not able to make his voice work. Zoro leans up, kisses him again slowly and then moves over a little to grab the stashed lube in the bedside chest. Yeah... perhaps the others do know what they use this room for. Oh well, Sanji doesn't care in the slightest right now.

His eyes are shut and he's smiling sleepily as Zoro makes his way back down Sanji's body until he stays at his hips, little butterfly kisses dropped on his hipbones and along the sharp V of muscle that points right to one of Zoro's favourite places of Sanji. He can hear the slick sounds of Zoro's fingers on each other and when Zoro finally touches him there he's surprised to feel that the lube is warm instead of the usual startling cold feeling it often has. Zoro warmed it in his fingers.

"Oh..." Sanji sighs, his head pressing back into the pillow as that thought just... does something to his system.

Sanji can't say if it's his eagerness, his tiredness or just how relaxed he was from his bath and massages from Zoro, but whichever it is Zoro has absolutely no problems easing his fingers inside. He slides in one finger after another as if Sanji was made for him. He hopes hazily that Zoro thinks that he is, that'd be sweet.

"Ready?" Zoro asks quietly.

"Mmn." Sanji hums, nodding sleepily. As Zoro slides home the only noise Sanji makes is a gasp of breath. That's what it feels like actually, like home. His world is tiny right now, just this bed and Zoro right here with him, in him even. It's not that nothing outside of it matters, just that Sanji has forgotten that anything outside of this bed, outside of him and Zoro even exists.

Zoro is still inside of him, not moving or rocking at all, just there. The swordsman leans down, sliding a hand under the arch of Sanji's back as he moves up him. Sanji tilts his head down and meets Zoro mouth, he just knew he'd be there. They both sigh and Sanji doesn't know whether he's breathing his air of Zoro's. He feels all mixed up between him and Zoro, the lines smeared and blurred, the boundaries becoming more indistinct as Zoro starts to move with him.

It's like their fights, not with each other but facing enemies. He knows where Zoro's body is as easily as he knows his own arms and legs, he feels Zoro's every move before he makes it and responds in kind. They're a perfect harmony of absolute opposition. He feels like one of those eastern symbols, the whole yin and yang thing. Something about this time is different to every other time and he senses that after this is over there's going to be a part of Zoro inside of his being forever, hopefully filling in a gap made from the part of himself that Zoro will have with him.

He clings to Zoro's frame and babbles pleas and encouragement into Zoro's ear, his tiredness taking down all his filters. He's too tired for ego, to exhausted for self-consciousness and to close to sleep for second doubts.

"Don't stop, please don't ever stop, I need you, I need you." He insists in one long stream, his lips pressed to Zoro's shoulder and spilling his words out like a tattoo onto Zoro's skin.

"I'm not going anywhere, I need you too." Zoro swears back, his voice hot in Sanji's ear. Sanji whines needily and Zoro kisses his chin, clumsy and uncoordinated.

"I don't- I've never felt this... this is new, don't stop." He insists to Zoro, catching his hand and pulling it down to the space by the side of Sanji's head, their fingers locked.

"My cook. My stupid, flighty, perfect, idiot." Zoro hisses out, biting Sanji's neck hard enough to bruise. Sanji yowls like some feral thing, he chokes out a pleading sob and Zoro does it again at his request. Biting and then kissing his skin, a perfect contrast of opposites, just like them.

Sanji feels himself coming apart at the seams and he simply doesn't have the energy to hold it back he wants it to be with Zoro and he manages to gather up the braincells to warn Zoro. He wants this to be together. He opens his mouth but that's not what comes out.

"Zoro I- oh oh, there! I... I love you." Sanji babbles, shaking underneath Zoro. Zoro's hips stutter and halt, wide dark eyes staring down at Sanji. Zoro pushes himself up and that movement, that tiny movement, is enough to shift Zoro enough inside of Sanji to push him over the edge. Sanji looks up at Zoro as it washes over him, everything unravelling at melting all at once. He gasps, trying for words and air.

"Love you." He pants, repeating himself.

"Oh." Zoro says in the smallest of voices before gasping suddenly and curling against Sanji, his hips jerking suddenly in a way that makes Sanji mewl. He feels Zoro tremble and shake under his hands, or... possibly Sanji is the one trembling. He's not sure. All his senses are mixed up and all he can feel is Zoro.

He blinks up at the ceiling in a black hazed daze, he's probably got mere minutes before his brain just shuts off and makes him sleep or pass out, whichever it prefers. He's not sure but something important happened. He can't put his finger on it. Zoro is staring at him, wide eyed and stunned.

"You... you said..." Zoro breathes, watching him.

"Mmn, love you." Sanji mumbles absently, trying to stroke Zoro's hair and patting his face instead.

"But you've never... are you just tired?" Zoro asks, his voice strained. Why does he sound like that? Is Zoro worried about him again?

"I'm fine, 'm perfect. Love you, sleep." He urges Zoro, dragging him down to the mattress. Zoro goes with a graceless thump and Sanji rolls over almost onto his front, draped bonelessly across Zoro's form.

Zoro's arm curls under Sanji's body, wrapping around his waist. He presses his lips into Sanji's hair and kisses him lightly and sweetly. Sanji smiles, he's so cute like this. Zoro would punch him in the face if he ever said it, that's kind of cute too. He yawns hard enough to make his jaw crack and hums happily as Zoro pulls the covers over them.

"I love you too idiot cook." Zoro mumbles to him. Sanji hums in exhausted agreement before falling into sleep


	62. Chapter 62

A/N: This is a continuation of the HighSchool!Zoro AU that I've written about before. It runs parallel to the chapters that I've already published. It's a 22k gift fic but I figured it belonged here, so forgive the long chapter.

Zoro comes into the dorms of his school, the East Blue Academy. It's a boarding school and he's nearly graduated anyway, he's NEARLY seventeen dammit. The school is pretty relaxed about it's boarding students being out and about after school hours, as long as they're not drinking or smoking and they're back before curfew they can do anything that their guardians have signed them off for. Not everyone's parents lets them off campus and those people aren't allowed off.

Robin is his big sister, his only sister now in fact. His parents died when he was small and Robin all but raised him. Kuina, his other sister, died in the accident that killed his parents. So it's just the two of them. He was eight when their parents died and she was just sixteen. She tried to look after him as best as she could and did a damn good job of it. But by the time he was old enough to go to high school the two of them had agreed that a change was in order.

It was actually him who had proposed the idea of a boarding school. Robin had been secretly looking at colleges and all of the things that she couldn't do with him around. She wanted to be an archeologist but that's not the sort of thing that you can do unqualified. She could hardly go off to study with her kid brother in tow. He hadn't wanted to be any more of a burden on her than he already was, so he'd researched the school and proposed his idea. She had been against it at first, she didn't say anything but he knows what her quiet silences mean.

Above all else though, Robin was a rational person, so after getting the funds sorted out she agreed. Not that there was much for him in the way of funds, he qualified for damn near every scholarship that the school had. Apparently being an orphan had some perks, not that it felt like it.

He is happy at his school and he likes his friends, but it's nice to get away.

The gym had been his escape. The place where no one knew his sob story or about his scholarships or anything. He could work out, train his swordsmanship, albeit with wooden swords and be happy. It was his happy place.

It helped, okay, it MORE than helped that the gym had more than a few hot guys who worked out there. Not all of them of course, but one or two that Zoro couldn't help but stare at. That was the other problem of living at a boarding school. It wasn't that people were generally homophobic there but there were a few, so being out wasn't a great idea when he literally had to live with these people.

His friends knew about him of course, those he could trust to keep that information to themselves. On the whole though, no one knew, which put dating out of the question.

He'd been completely staggered when the gorgeous blonde at the gym started talking to him. His name is Sanji and he is beautiful. He's a snarky, sarcastic, cocky bastard, but Zoro quite likes that.

He'd plucked up the courage and challenged Sanji to a spar, just a fist fight wrestling match kind of thing. His specialty is swords of course but he tries to be good at all fighting styles. In all honesty he'd kind of intended on beating the guy and impressing him, using it as a way to break the ice and flirt with him. He'd not had the chance to flirt with people before but the opportunity was there.

Sanji had kicked his ass and flirted back. They'd sparred often, scoring wins on both sides. They'd hung out in the gym and talked, at first just whilst they worked out but eventually they both lingered more and more.

Then Sanji had asked him out on a date, the date had been today. He'd gone of course, and it had been amazing, right up until the point where it wasn't. Right up until Sanji found out how old he was. He can't get the look on the blonde's face out of his head. No matter how much he'd insisted that he wanted this or how it was okay, that he was legal and knew what he wanted... Sanji didn't want to know. He'd bailed.

"Zoro, are you under there?" Luffy asks, poking him in the side.

Zoro knows he's acting like a little kid now, but Sanji made him feel like that. He's curled in a ball under his comforter on his bed, wrapped up in a little cocoon. It makes him feel slightly better.

"No, go away." He says back, his voice muffled through the fabric.

"Nah, if you're not here I think I'll lay on your bed." Luffy declares and clambers onto the bed, sprawling across Zoro as he does so.

"Gee, I ought to tell Zoro that his bed is awfully lumpy!" Luffy laughs, patting his hands on Zoro, trying to smooth out the "lumps" in Zoro's mattress that actually happen to be Zoro himself.

Zoro is miserable, he is sulking, heartbroken even. He is sixteen (nearly seventeen) and he is entitled to some teenage angst goddamnit.

"Knock it off Luffy!" He exclaims, bursting out from under cover and pinning his best friend and roommate underneath the blanked that had covered him.

"ZORO! You're back!" Luffy laughs loudly, his face bright with happiness.

"You're ruining my bad mood here." Zoro accuses faintly.

"Aw." Luffy says and looks up at him.

His face turns serious and Luffy's fingers come up to trace under Zoro's eyes. His skin is still damp where he's been crying, though he stopped some time ago.

"Who do I need to beat up? Just tell me and I'll kick their asses." Luffy says sincerely. Luffy means it too. He's always known about Zoro's orientation, though the swordsman suspects that his friend doesn't entirely "get" it. Luffy doesn't seem interested in anyone at all, he's like a little kid. Alternatively he might just be interested in everyone in a non sexual way. Sex stuff and teenage hormones man, what are they even about? All the same, he's offered to beat up kids who have said homophobic stuff in general, though not to him personally. Luffy was worried that it'd hurt Zoro, but though it made him wary it doesn't break his heart or anything. He knows that people can be awful.

"No one." He says unconvincingly, sitting back on his mattress.

"Zoro." Luffy says flatly, not convinced at all.

"No one you know. No one here." Zoro amends. Luffy doesn't need to get into more trouble for having more fights, he's had enough warnings as is. Besides, if he attacked someone off of school grounds then the police might get involved and then shit would get a lot worse for Luffy.

"I don't care where they are, I'll kick their- MMPH!" Luffy flails as Zoro claps his hand over Luffy's mouth and pulls him back onto the bed.

"Ah, the world is better when you're not flailing around and yelling." Zoro sighs wistfully.

"Feel a little better?" Luffy asks, peeling Zoro's fingers off of his face as he looks up at the ceiling. He's resting his head on Zoro's bicep and the two of them are just laying there there.

"A little better, yeah." Zoro admits. He might still be hurt and pretty upset and down about the whole thing, but even so... he's still a little better. Luffy always manages to make things a little lighter by just being himself, it's a gift that he has.

"So what're you gonna do? If I can't fight whoever it is and you won't... then what?" his friend asks curiously.

"There are solutions to shit that don't involve punching people you know." Zoro points out flatly.

"Oh WOW!" Luffy gasps sitting up. He looks over at Zoro with wide impressed eyes.

"Are you gonna use your swords and cut 'em up like sushi?" He asks, bouncing excitedly.

"No, I'll just... avoid him. It's his fault." Zoro groans unhappily. Great, now he'll have to restructure his time at the gym just to avoid the blonde. That's going to be a pain in the ass as his schedule was always so unpredictable.

Sanji said that he worked in a restaurant, so it explains the odd shifts, but it makes it hell to avoid a person. Perhaps if he goes to the gym and sees him there he'll just go right out again before the other man sees him. It's not fair to him to deprive himself of something that he likes, but seeing Sanji right now is not something that he wants. Not at all.

Well, he can just spend more time in the dojo practicing his swordsmanship. It's a fair trade.

"So, it is a guy." Luffy concludes, having caught up on Zoro's slip whilst he was distracted.

"So what?" Zoro grumbles.

"So, if you need me to beat him up, just ask. Also, I'm hungry now we talked about sushi, can we go out to eat?" the black haired boy asks eagerly.

"WE weren't talking about sushi, you were, and like hell I'm paying for you to go out and eat again. I'm still recovering from the last time, my poor bank account has never been the same. Go trick your brother into eating with you if you want." He says, flat out refusing. He's not falling for that again. It's not like he's tight with his money, not like certain redheads that he could name, but offering to treat Luffy to dinner on his birthday is a mistake that he won't make twice. Even if he doesn't Luffy almost always ends up filching food from Zoro's plate so that he has to order more for himself. Eating with Luffy always ends up more expensive than it has any right to.

Forgetting about Sanji is a lot harder than he thought it would be. For a start the goddamn blonde seems to suddenly be in the gym every time that Zoro tries to go there. The receptionist is starting to give him strange looks because he keeps swiping into the gym, peeking into the workout room and then going right back out of the gym when he sees Sanji.

It's not fair. He has a right to use the gym too! Sure he's getting more sword practice done than he's got in a while but it's not a complete workout. The saddest thing is that he misses the stupid curly browed idiot. He liked talking to him and arguing with him. He liked showing off for him and shit. Still, it can't be helped. If Sanji had really been interested in him as a person then he wouldn't have freaked out about his age then would he? If he just wanted to date him instead of just fucking him then it all would have been fine. It's not like he isn't legal anyway, so Sanji has nothing to be worried about legally speaking. Ugh. The whole thing is just pissing him off more and more.

It doesn't help that his friends are noticing the change in his habits either. Especially the more astute ones.

"So Zoro, what's wrong?" Nami asks him smoothly, slicing into her orange with a knife to peel the skin off slowly. The air fills with citrus mist that makes Zoro's mouth water.

"Not getting enough sleep between classes." He answers pointedly, he's trying to take a nap after all.

"Don't make me stab you with this knife. You know what I mean, you've been all mopey and angry lately." Nami threatens. She can be very determined when she wants to get her way, irritatingly so.

"Don't you always say that I'm "mopey and angry" Nami? What's different?" He responds, sitting up and glaring at her. She's clearly not going to let him finish his nap so he may as well give up on the idea.

"You're deflecting, I hate when you do that. Just tell me the truth, what am I going to do to you?" The redhead demands. Zoro squints at her. Nami is his friend, sure, but she's absolutely not above manipulating him. If he told her she wouldn't tell the school or tell other students, but who knows what else she might do. He's pretty sure that she would hang it over his head forever.

Anyway, he doesn't want to talk about it. Sanji was an asshole and nowhere near as nice as Zoro thought he was. But... why did their first date have to be amazing up until that point? He keeps stupidly longing for it again but then finds himself remembering exactly why that's not going to happen, and the memory stops him like a wet slap in the face.

"Zoro, something is really bothering you." Nami says softly.

Shit, he'd spaced out on her there. She looks seriously concerned for him now, her pretty face twisting in an expression of worry and protectiveness.

"It's nothing that can be fixed. I'll be fine." He answers glumly, looking out at the street and watching the cars go by.

"Tell me anyway Zoro, talking about it would help, I promise." She reasons.

"No it won't, so get lost." He snaps at her and flings himself back on the grass and obstinately shuts his eyes. This whole Sanji situation is between no one but him and the blonde idiot, he's not going to drag everyone else into his pity party. He's just going to forget about him and get over it.

"Fine, you know what? I will get lost." Nami says curtly and with a rustle of her short pleated skirt she's standing up. Zoro opens his eyes and looks up at her, curious. Since when does she agree to give up after pestering him this much?

He tilts his head at her in confusion. She's lucky that he's not interested in women because right now he can see right up her skirt. She's wearing underwear with dollar signs on it, of course she is.

"I will go, and you know it's only because the other girls know that you're my bitch that they leave you alone around me. I'm going to leave you here and let them have you." Nami says primly.

Zoro's eyes widen in horror.

One of the many downsides to his orientation not being wildly known was attention from the girls at his school. Apparently the fact that he looks older than he is and is in okay shape seems to make him a target for them. Nami and Usopp assure him that his determination to stay away from the girls only makes him more appealing, something to do with a "cold bad boy" attitude that they all want to be the one to crack.

Zoro is quite firm in his belief that women are crazy. Or, at least teenage girls are.

"You wouldn't." He says in horror.

Nami is correct in her threat. There are rumours aplenty going around that the two of them are dating, though there are people on each side of that debate. Nami certainly scares off girls that dare approach him but of course the two of them never do anything more publicly affectionate than hug, and even that's pretty rare. Still, Nami has firmly marked him as hers which works out fine for him. Unfortunately this only seems to work when she's actually present, which means that she gets him as a perpetual handbag to carry all her shit. If he refuses and strikes off on his own he more often than not finds himself swamped with teenage girls. It pisses him off but it seems to work well enough for both of them.

"I would. So, are you going to tell me or not?" She demands, leaning so far into his personal space that her school tie smacks him in the face.

"I won't." He answers stiffly.

"Suit yourself. BYE ZORO!" Nami says loudly and flounces off.

Zoro looks around in paranoia but there are no girls to be seen. Despite their fascination with him they aren't stalking him at all times.

Hah, Nami's threat has fallen short. That'll piss her off. To make it even better that means that he can sleep throughout the rest of his free period in peace. He's got a great spot too, right under a nice tree on a grassy bank with the sun shining warmly on him.

He smiles to himself and stretches out on the grass, arching his back, wiggling his toes inside his shoes and reaching his arms as far above his head as they'll go. Yeah, this is the life. Even better he's now free of Nami's endless chatter disturbing his sleep. He practically purrs as he settles down into his nap with his arms sprawled above him, pillowing his head against the prickly grass.

He gets five minutes, five pathetic minutes before it happens. There's a high pitched girlish shriek that makes him leap from the ground and to his feet. It's too late though, a swarm of six girls are already surrounding him. Mascara laden lashes fluttering at him in an attempt to entice him in, excited voices chattering away at him, sweet words trying to draw him in.

Good god, they're going to eat him alive.

"Oi! Leave me alone!" He snaps out, backing away from them. It's no good though, it never has been, his harsh words seem to only ever encourage them.

Zoro understands the appeal of a challenge, but this isn't the same thing at all!

"Oh, Zoro! Don't be so mean!" One of them giggles, he thinks her name is Becky. He shares algebra with her, he's pretty sure he does at least.

"Yeah, come on, go out with me Zoro!" Another one, a blonde chirps at him. That is Cindry, she's been one of his most avid stalkers for years. She disturbs him more than most because on time when he rejected her she flung her plate at him in the dining hall. He's been wary of her ever since. Right now at least she doesn't appear to be wielding any crockery so he might be physically safe. Her red painted nails cling to his shirt sleeve as she tries to get closer.

He backs up as far as he can until he hits tree trunk. He looks to the side sharply, hoping to dart around the tree and make a break for it, but no. The pack has him surrounded. They seem to be working together. Which he'd think was counter productive really. If these other girls helped Cindry get a date with him, for example, then he'd still be not dating the rest of them as much as he is now. But he supposes that if he was to finally say yes to one of them then perhaps their reasoning is that they could steal him back off of her. Who knows? Girls, man.

"Get lost!" he orders them. That does not work on them nearly as well as it worked on Nami. That bitch, abandoning him like this. He's no doubt that she'll keep doing this to him if he refuses to let her know about Sanji. She's right too because there's no way that he can withstand this for long.

"He's so cute!~" One of them chitters, her cheeks red with blush that may well be painted on. He scowls at her, he is not and has never been "cute".

"And hot!" Another laughs in agreement. The pack closes a little tighter around him and Zoro starts to contemplate whether he can leap up into the tree high enough to get away from them. The branches don't look like they'll support his weight unfortunately.

One of them pleads for him to kiss her and before he can open his mouth to tell her to fuck right off Cindry manages to dart in close enough to grab his tie and haul him in for a kiss. She tries to pretty much stick her tongue down his throat. EUGH.

"You're totally my boyfriend now." She purrs at him.

"When hell freezes over!" He snarls back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. They giggle and he spots an opening in their ranks, a few of them have fawned closer to Cindry, presumably to get the details on what kissing him is really like.

He makes a break for it and sprints across the open lawn, jumping a fence and landing not too far from the woodwork class that he knows Usopp is in. Maybe he can sneak into that class and hide, their teacher doesn't really notice shit anyway, or if he does then he doesn't care.

Usopp spots him crouched in the grass outside the window and comes over, sliding the pane of glass aside.

"The pack got you again?" He asks with a roll of his eyes.

"They were ruthless." Zoro intones in horror.

"I thought Nami had that sorted." Usopp frowns.

"I... pissed her off. She left me to the wolves." he admits unhappily. He's going to find Nami right after this and tell her everything, anything to get her to get those girls off of his back again.

"Mmm, unwise man, unwise. You gotta make up with her. By the way, the 'wolves' left lipstick on your lips and... kind of part of your face too. Man, you got smooched good." Usopp laughs.

"Ugh, don't remind me. Let me in, I gotta hide." Zoro grumbles, climbing in through the window and into the woodwork classroom.

Zoro is trying super hard to keep himself under control, but Sanji just broke into his school and stood under his window and asked him out again. He apologised for being an asshat and ASKED HIM OUT AGAIN. If he was wearing a dress it'd be a little bit like Romeo and Juliet. Except without the stupid plot, needless suicide and poor communication skills.

All the same he's happy and excited. He is going to have another date with Sanji, the guy who gave him the best first date of his life. Apart from the freaking out about his age thing of course. But... well... it seems like it was just a shock thing. He wonders if Sanji would have apologised sooner if he hadn't been avoiding him so much. Maybe, or maybe he needed the time that he got to work out just what he'd been missing.

When Zoro's attention returns to the here and now, specifically to his room and to Luffy he notices that his friend is grinning at him.

"You look happier." Luffy remarks with a big grin of his own.

"I... I am." Zoro answers, and he knows that he's smiling just as much as Luffy is. It's probably pathetic how much this has changed his mood but he can't help it. He's going to blame it on teenage hormones. He's still got a few years left in that excuse, it'd be irresponsible not to use it really, wouldn't it?

"So, he was the guy who upset you in the first place then." Luffy says, moving away from the window and onto the foot of Zoro's bed on the bed frame. Zoro swears that Luffy is part cat, he loves to be on the highest place there is or else looking out of a window somewhere.

Zoro isn't sure what he should answer to that. He doesn't want Luffy going off the deep end and flipping out at Sanji, he just apologised after all. But he'd be lying to Luffy if he denied that Sanji was the reason he'd been hurting so bad before. Luffy might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but he's not an idiot.

"As long as you're happy now then I'm happy. But, if he makes you unhappy and you want me to kick his ass..." Luffy trails off, the offer open.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." Zoro grins weakly.

He supposes if Luffy knows then there's no sense not telling him the rest. He's had no one to talk to about this so far, a penalty entirely self imposed, but still a harsh one nonetheless.

"His name is Sanji, we go to the same gym. We went on a date, he found out how old I am and freaked out on me. Badly." Zoro admits with a trace of irritation. Apologies or not that was still a shitty thing to do and he's still kinda pissed about it deep down.

"That sucks." Luffy nods.

"Ugh. He's... I should tell you, he's older than me. He's twenty one." Zoro sighs, it's going to come out sooner or later.

He tries not to look at Luffy for a little bit, he doesn't want to know how he's taking it. As much as he insists that he's not too young to date someone else, he's legal after all. It's still a little... unusual. The age gap isn't so bad, or it wouldn't be at least if he wasn't the age that he is.

"Ok?" Luffy says after a while, clearly not getting it.

"That's a big difference." he points out irritably.

"You like him though. You're happy." Luffy reasons.

Zoro blinks at him in surprise. Luffy doesn't care, he doesn't even see the problem. For Luffy it seems that as long as his friends are happy then he is happy. It's moments like this when he remembers just why Luffy is his closest friend.

Sanji stands in front of his open wardrobe and thinks for about the hundredth time that he's in out of his depth here. He's got no idea what to wear. This isn't even the usual pre-date jitters about how to impress, he genuinely doesn't know what he's supposed to be doing. Part of him can't believe that he's doing this at all.

Zoro is sixteen, okay, he's seventeen in a matter of days but he's still sixteen. Less than a year ago he was jailbait, as in Sanji could go to JAIL for being with him. As in, being interested in him eleven months ago would make him a seriously sick fucker.

For all that he tries to tell himself that Zoro acts and looks older than he is he feels worse. He's heard those kinds of lines before from guys who have been on the news for touching kids and what is he DOING?

He fucking likes the guy though. He really does. He pushes all of Sanji's buttons and he's hot and... ugh.

"Calm down." He says to himself, trying to breathe deeply and think about this.

Zoro is legal, for all that it counts. No matter what he can't go to jail for this. Anyway, he's just taking him out on a date, not bending him over the table and-

He scrubs at his face with his hands. He can't back out of this now. He hurt Zoro enough last time when he freaked out and he'd gone out of his way to ask him out again, he'd seen how happy it made Zoro. He can't bail on him, he just can't.

He'd arranged the date a few days ago, not that he'd told Zoro anything about it beyond where to meet him. After all he hadn't been bragging to Zoro about being amazing at dates without anything to back it up.

He grabs his black jeans from the wardrobe and tries to pretend like he's going on a date like any other. That ends up being a little too overtly alluring so he dresses it down a little with a sweater. It looks a little weird but he still looks ok. It's "I care about how I look" without saying "and I'm gonna be taking these off for you later"

When he makes it to where he agreed to meet Zoro, right by the train station, the other man isn't there. He has to wait a while for Zoro to show up and when he does he comes from the completely opposite direction than he expected him to, so he doesn't even see him coming. Zoro has to tap him on the shoulder and nearly scare Sanji out of his skin in doing so.

Zoro looks good. He looks good in a kind of sweet way. Clearly Zoro hasn't done this much before because he's dressed up in a crisp white shirt and black tie with fancy black trousers, it looks like the kind of outfit and adult buys for you to wear to family events, graduations, weddings and funerals. It's both sweet and an unwelcome kick in the gut at the fact that again, Zoro is younger than him. A significant amount of younger than him.

"Hey!" Zoro greets him, brimming with nervous excited energy.

Sanji smiles despite himself.

"Hey." He says and notes the way that Zoro's cheeks go a little pink.

"So where are we going?" Zoro asks, looking around curiously. The streets around the train station have places to eat here and there, but nowhere that Sanji would dream of taking anyone on a date, especially not someone that he likes as much as Zoro.

"Follow me." He says.

The place is a pop up restaurant. There's a travelling chef, very designer and very trendy, who is making an appearance tonight of all nights in town. Sanji likes a lot of what he's heard about his food, though he thinks that in part he's bit overrated, the exclusivity probably hyping him up more than he strictly deserves.

Still, cooking is just as much about presentation as it is the food itself and having a gimmick like that is presentation in spades. The place sin't too far from the waterfront so it's a little bit of a walk. He'd worried that the walks was going to be weird, that the two of them wouldn't know what to say or that he'd lapse into apologising more about how he treated Zoro before. He'd worried that he was going to get another attack of guilt over being on a date with Zoro at all.

None of that happens though, he and Zoro fall into easy and excited conversation, enthusing and arguing about every topic that they come across. It's nice, just like it had been at the gym before. This was what had drawn him to Zoro in the first place.

On the way there he'd explained about the restaurant, that it and the chef travelled all over the place. He'd talked it up both as a way of showing off but also to reassure any part of Zoro that might be worried about the night. It's not exactly a normal place to bring a date and the last thing that he wants Zoro thinking is that he's luring him here to kill him and dump his body in the sea or something. Not that he think that he gives off that sort of vibe at all, but he supposes that taking a sixteen year old on a date is suspicious enough behaviour as it is.

"Hey, you know, if we stay out to midnight then I will technically have aged a year since we've been on a date. Pretty cool huh?" Zoro grins with enthusiasm.

"You don't get to say that often." Sanji agrees, though he feels a little selfish at thinking that saying that he's been on a date with a seventeen year old guy doesn't sound quite so terrible as saying that he's been on a date with a sixteen year old. It's a fine line though.

Dinner goes swimmingly well and he finds himself forgetting once more about the age difference between them. He's rather selfishly pleased too, he knows that Zoro is wowed by the meal. He's clearly never eaten really designer food like this before and Sanji gets to show off, explaining just how each thing is made and what it means. It's nice.

After they finish eating the two of them start bickering, making boasts about insignificant shit just to be able to call each other on it or prove it. It ends up with the two of them sprinting in a race to the beach. Zoro wins and Sanji ends up in a groove in the sand, dragging air into his lungs as he tries to catch up from his mad dash. Zoro recovers first, having the advantage of a teenage metabolism.

He's still trying to get his breath back when Zoro throws himself at him. Sanji ends up with an elbow in his ribs, teeth in his lips and way too much Zoro all over him. Zoro's trying to kiss him pretty intensely and the feeling is there, the neediness and the want, that's for sure. He's not quite got the technique to back it up though.

"Fuck." He mutters and kisses Zoro back. The teenager pretty quickly starts following his lead and it's... amazing.

Zoro is all over him though, it's like he doesn't know where to puts himself but wants everything and to have his hands everywhere. He's jolting from place to place on Sanji's body with his hands like arcs of lightning and he can't take it. He seems to come up with the bright idea of grinding down onto Sanji and oh god does that ever feel nice. Zoro's completely rock hard and of course he is, he's sixteen (or possibly seventeen, he's not checked his watch), his entire system is wired for pretty much just sleeping and sex.

That thought is what snaps him out of it. Zoro doesn't know what he's doing, he's inexperienced and new and Sanji has no right to be the one doing this with him. Zoro should be having this kind of teenaged fumbling with another teenager, not with him. He knows enough to know how to reduce Zoro to putty in his hands, hell, he can do so to people his own age let alone someone as inexperienced as Zoro. It's not fair.

He puts his hands on Zoro's shoulders and pushes back, putting space between them as he wriggles out from under Zoro.

"Ah, shit no, this is bad." He pants, trying to get his head on straight. He wants Zoro, so badly but this is... this isn't really ok.

Zoro frowns, a little put out but still so eager.

"So tell me what to do." Zoro responds and kisses him again. It's already better than the first time, he's learning. He thinks that Sanji's complaint was just with the fact that Zoro nearly bit him by accident in his earlier enthusiasm.

"Stop. Just... stop. You're seventeen and we shouldn't be..." He tries to explain.

He's trying to be rational here, to be the adult. But Zoro's face snaps straight from lust to anger in a second with no emotions in between the two in the transition. He pushes himself back so that he's crouching and studiously not touching Sanji anywhere. His dark brows are drawn down and his scowl is deep.

"Fuck man, if you didn't want me then why did you nearly hang yourself coming to ask me out again?" Zoro demands.

He has a point there.

He went to ask him out again because he wanted him back. He liked how they worked together, he still does. The only reason that he's not dragging Zoro back to bed right now, the only reason he didn't do so after their first date is Zoro's age.

He runs his hands through his hair in frustration. This isn't Zoro's fault, he shouldn't be making it Zoro's fault.

"I want you, just..." He hedges. He's pretty much lost the moral high ground here. The moral path is way back there in the distance and he's lost in the grey lands of 'is this really okay?'

He may as well make the most of it whilst he's here.

"Slow down. Seriously, I'll kiss you but this has to go slow." Sanji insists. This whole thing needs to go slow. He needs to give Zoro an out if he ever wants it, he's not going to rush any of this. Zoro isn't a child (thank god) but he's still young. Of course he's old enough to make his own choices, and as Zoro readily points out, he is technically an adult really. That doesn't mean that Sanji doesn't have a stacked deck here though, so slow is best.

Zoro grits his teeth in anger and reaches out.

"Fuck slow, I want-" He starts, hauling Sanji closer to him by his belt.

Uh-uh. Not happening. Sanji isn't going to let Zoro force his hand and that kind of move by any partner would be enough to raise red flags that would quickly lead to them getting kicked out of his bed and his life. But Zoro is inexperienced and doesn't get what Sanji is saying. He's going to give him some leeway here. That leeway might currently be in the form of his foot digging into Zoro's abdomen in a clear threat. The two of them have sparred and Zoro knows just what he could do with that kind of a position.

"Slow or not at all, I'm serious here. I can and will kick your ass off of me." He explains sternly. If Zoro still doesn't care about whether Sanji is happy with this or not then that's not ok and he's gonna get his ass kicked into the ocean and left there, age difference or not.

Luckily for the both of them Zoro lets him go and sits back on the sand unhappily.

"Shit, fine." Zoro agrees miserably.

Sanji can't help but smile. Zoro is so genuine about what he wants, Sanji can't help but find it endearing.

If... if Zoro is willing to go at his pace then Sanji supposes that this is okay. He checks his watch, it's 12:30. He was right earlier when he said Zoro is seventeen, it's his birthday now. Maybe he should give him a present, something he really wants right now.

"Good. Now, less teeth, hm?" He teases lightly, leaning into Zoro's space and pulling him in for a kiss. Zoro lets him lead and he is wonderfully responsive. It's obvious how much he's restraining himself though and he lets Sanji set the boundaries of what is and isn't across his line for now.

After a while Sanji decides to give making out on the beach like, well, like teenagers, a rest and walk Zoro back to his place.

"I liked tonight." Zoro says happily, walking close to Sanji's side and glowing with happiness.

"Me too." Sanji agrees honestly.

"Can we do it again sometime?" Zoro asks and then frowns. "Or, you know, whatever. Slow or... whatever."

Sanji tries not to laugh. Ah, teenage eloquence at it's finest.

"I think we can make that work." He answers with a smile.

"Great! You should... you should have this." Zoro says suddenly, rummaging in his pockets for something. He eventually pulls out a strip of paper with his phone number scrawled on it in pen. He'd not got Zoro's number yet, they'd just agreed where they were going to meet and then just met there before.

Sanji takes a pen out of his jacket pocket, flips the paper over and writes his own number out in considerably neater handwriting and gives it back to Zoro.

"Does your school have some kind of curfew? They must do, surely they can't just let you all run around at all hours, right?" Sanji frowns. He'd not considered this before but he should have. What if he gets into trouble with Zoro's school for this? Oh god, what if they tell his parents?

"Yeah, but I've been sneaking in and out for years. They never even notice and my roommate is my best friend, he covers for me if he's not out with me. I'd better leave you here actually. You're not stealthy enough to go near the school without being spotted, not like me." Zoro boasts with a smug smile, entirely oblivious to Sanji's mortal dread.

"You're not a goddamn ninja you know." Sanji bristles back at the boast.

"Nah, I don't dress up all in black like some people. I know you're secretly a goth." Zoro mocks him, gesturing to Sanji's outfit which, actually does happen to have a lot of black in it.

"My sweater is red!" He insists, plucking at it.

"The only colour goths allow. Fact." Zoro laughs loudly.

"You're a little shit." Sanji snaps and kicks him in the ankle, hard enough to be a warning.

"Heh, whatever. Just don't dye your hair black before I see you next. I like the blonde." he says with a smile as the two of them come to a pause at a street corner near Zoro's school. The green haired idiot reaches out and tucks a bit of Sanji's blonde hair behind his ear, sending Sanji's heart a-flutter like he's the one who's an inexperienced teenager here.

"Does this mean that you're going to stop avoiding me at the gym too?" Sanji asks hopefully.

"Yeah, I've missed kicking your ass in sparring matches. And, you know, staring at it too." Zoro brazenly says. Whilst Sanji is gawping in shock at Zoro's outrageousness the bastard leans in and kisses him, smooth as anything.

"Later." Zoro says and jogs off, vanishing into the darkness of the trees and bushes near his school.

No seventeen year old has any right looking as ripped as Zoro is or acting as smooth as that. Shit's not right man.

Sanji manages to close his jaw and turn himself around, heading back home. As he walks he programs Zoro's number into his phone and tags him 'shitty moss face'. Then, in an act of private affection follows it with a little emote.

"Shitty moss face 3"

"Zoro, phone for you." Pell says, sticking his head around the door to Zoro and Luffy's room.

There's just one phone per floor and it's in the hallway. Usually someone picks it up and if it's not for them they'll look for the person in their room. Zoro's got a pretty good guess of who it is, though why Robin is ringing him on the school phone and not on his mobile is beyond him. He's the kind of person who gets lost, not the kind of person who loses things.

"Hello?" He says, picking the phone up off of where it's resting on top of the unit in the hallway. He waves his thanks to Pell who goes back into his own room right by the phone. He looks like he's waiting for a call himself, probably why he picked up the phone.

"Hello little brother." Robin's voice says down the phone.

"Robin! Hey, what's up?" He greets her happily.

"Nothing much, I came by to see you the other day and you weren't at school." She says smoothly. She's not accusing him or questioning him but it's not the kind of statement that he can't not offer an answer to.

"Huh. When was that? I've not been skipping classes or anything." He says with a frown. He really hasn't. A few terms back he kept skipping his language classes because he hated the teacher, but he doesn't have that one this term and so his attendance is back to perfect again.

"In the evening." Robin clarifies.

"Okay, I was probably out. You know, gym, dojo..." Zoro trails off, mentally adding Sanji to that list.

"When was it? You could have called me on my phone." He points out.

"I didn't want to disturb you if you were having fun." She says with a smile. Zoro frowns, there's something he's not getting here but he doesn't know what it could be.

"Ok. That sucks though, I've not seen you in a while, I wish I'd been there." Zoro says unhappily. He and his sister do get along, she's the only family he has and they're more alike than people realise.

"That was why I was calling actually, I can be in town tomorrow night. How about we go for dinner?" Robin suggests.

"Uhm..." Zoro hesitates. He was planning on seeing Sanji that night but...

He leans against the wall and pulls out his phone and fires off a text to Sanji, asking if they can reschedule as his sister is in town to see him. He can't imagine that the blonde will have a problem with it. After all, as infatuated with his new relationship as he is, his sister is more important and he sees her less.

"You don't want to? Are you busy seeing someone else?" Robin asks. Zoro jolts, he really doesn't want her to know about Sanji, not yet anyway.

"No, I was just looking something up on my phone. That new slasher movie came out yesterday and I just looked, it's playing that night if you wanna see that first." He suggests. Of course he hadn't just looked that up, but he had looked it up earlier, planning to go himself and then talk to Robin about it afterwards. Her taste in films is as macabre as his can be at times and they often have separate movie dates where each of them will see the same film around the same sort of time in the theatre nearest them and then they'll talk about it afterwards. It's like a movie book club. He'd been scouting the film out with a plan to suggesting it to Robin, but if he can see it with her in person like they used to then all the better!

"That sounds great, I'd been looking forward to that one. How about I pick you up tomorrow at six?" Robin suggests.

"Yeah! See you then. I gotta go though, I think Pell is waiting for a call. Use my phone next time though yeah? Not everyone has one and they need this one." He reminds her.

The two of them say goodbye and Zoro waves to Pell as he heads back to his room. Just as he's going through the door to his room he hears the phone ring again and Pell scramble to answer it.

"Who's on the phone?" Luffy asks, not taking his eyes off of his DS, he's trying to beat the level on some game that Zoro can't bring himself to be interested in. It's absorbed Luffy for days though so it must be hard.

"Robin." Zoro answers simply, dropping himself onto his bed and opening his English book back up. He's got homework to do after all. He looks at his phone, Sanji hasn't texted him back yet but he supposes that he's got work.

"I think she's up to something, but I don't know what." Zoro says aloud. Something about that whole conversation was off, as if Robin was quizzing him about something without doing it directly and without him knowing what it was about. He often got that feeling with his sister, and he was often right too. Despite his accusations to the contrary she wasn't actually a mind reader, she could just subtly lift information from his brain without him realising it. Lying to her was always really hard and he generally didn't do it.

He turns his phone over in his hands, Luffy makes a distracted sort of 'uh-huh' sound that lets Zoro know that he heard him but wasn't really listening. Zoro doesn't mind, he wasn't really talking to Luffy, just thinking aloud really. He should tell Robin about Sanji but... something tells him not to. As serious as he is about Sanji he's not yet sure that it's a long term thing. The blonde no doubt has had plenty of relationships before him and Sanji's done nothing more than kiss him. Which isn't to say that he hasn't pushed it further with the blonde. He grins as he remembers feeling Sanji up in the car the other day when the curly brow dropped him back near the school in his car. He's both attractive and hysterically funny when he goes that red.

Either way, he should probably wait until he knows that Sanji is really serious about him before he tells Robin. It sounds sensible but he knows that in part he's avoiding telling her about Sanji. His sister knows that he's not straight of course, he suspects that she knew before he did, so he's not worried about that. He's more worried about her reaction to the whole 'older man' thing.

When he was finally forced to tell Nami on pain of being left with those other girls again she reacted badly. She acted like Sanji was some sort of pervert for being interested in him, but the more he told her the more she seemed to relax. She's still suspicious as all hell and insisting that he take things slow with him. She says that if Sanji is really as good a guy as he says that he is then he'll be happy for things to go slow, if he's just looking to get some teenager's first time then he'll get bored and go off in search of someone else. She seemed to calm down a little when Zoro pointed out that it was Sanji putting the breaks on things, not him.

Still, Robin is... well... She loves him, he knows that. But Robin scares even him sometimes, goodness knows what she'd do to his boyfriend. Probably nothing too bad, but he doubts that she'd be friendly. If Sanji doesn't get bored of him and leave him then he's going to have to introduce them sooner or later. He'll really have to prepare Sanji for her torturous inquisition then. It's not like Sanji is a bad guy but Robin will see him like that and she'll all but torture him for every scrap of information he has.

She'll like him sooner or later though. She has to. Sanji is a great guy and she'll see that he's got nothing to hide. As soon as she decides she'll like him then Sanji will be more than okay. Robin has two categories of people, people she trusts and will protect and everyone else. If Sanji gets to be someone that she likes and trusts then she'll turn her terrifying protective powers on anyone who means Sanji harm too. She did the same for Nami when some kids upset her. Robin had been visiting him but ended up spending a good few hours alone with Nami, comforting her and intimidating the boys who upset her.

His phone buzzes suddenly in his hand, it's from Sanji. It's just a one word reply, one letter in fact. "K"

Zoro frowns. Is Sanji irritated at him or is he just busy? Well, whatever. He'll find out next time he sees him, in the meantime there's nothing he can do about it and he has English homework to do. He drops his phone back on his bed and settles into his book again, he's supposed to write a paper on the thing so he really ought to know it properly.

Zoro kisses Sanji hard, and then reluctantly breaks apart from him to pull his t-shirt off over his head before he can get back to it again.

"Ah!" He yelps in surprise as Sanji takes the opportunity of Zoro's arm being tangled in his t-shirt to flip him onto the sofa and bite at his collar bone.

"Oh! Okay, good, yes, please." Zoro pants, flinging his shirt off behind him and gripping Sanji's biceps. He's long since learnt that the more verbal and explicit that he is in his approval of something Sanji is doing then the more likely Sanji is to continue doing it.

The cook tried to give him a big talk a while back about consent, something about active, enthusiastic... something. Blah. The point was that if he changed his mind about something or if something wasn't ok then he had to say so and Sanji wouldn't take it badly. He didn't have to agree to anything that he didn't want to. Whatever man, Sanji didn't seem to get that he can't think of an awful lot that Sanji could do to him that he'd have a problem with.

He tried to point this out to the idiot before, that he was his boyfriend and whatever Sanji wanted to do was a-okay by him. Besides, he's Sanji's boyfriend, that's part of the deal, right? When he said that though Sanji made a face like he'd just sucked a lemon and then went on a whole long talk about consent again and blah, blah, blah. Zoro had tuned him out.

The one thing he did pick up on though was the enthusiastic part. When he agreed to things, and loudly, Sanji approved. He doesn't know if it's some kind of kink but it seems to make Sanji happy and when Sanji is happy Zoro is DEFINITELY happy.

He squirms happily under Sanji and manages to work his hands underneath the blonde to unbutton his shirt bit by bit. When he's got it open enough to fit his hands inside then he quickly gets distracted by all the smooth lovely Sanji skin within his reach.

"You've got no patience, you know that?" Sanji sighs, sitting up on Zoro's thighs and finishing unbuttoning his own shirt. When he's done he drapes it neatly over the arm of the sofa and comes back down to Zoro's level.

"Patience is for losers, at least when it comes to getting your shirt off." Zoro asserts firmly and lets his hands wander.

"Yeah, but if you'd have had any patience you would have got my shirt off rather than just doing it halfway and then getting distracted." Sanji reasons.

"But getting to your bare skin is the best BIT." Zoro laughs and tickles Sanji's side, making the blonde twist out of his reach. Sanji is far more ticklish than he wants to be and Zoro's learnt that he cant get his way by holding the blonde town and tickling him until he gives in. Many a time he's been able to pick the movie or date choice by doing that.

Zoro takes the opportunity and grabs Sanji's belt, sliding it open and starting to unbutton Sanji's jeans. As he does so he looks up at the blonde who is watching him intently.

"You don't have to... look, are you okay with this?" Sanji asks, his brows going all scrunched up.

"I wouldn't be doing it if I wasn't- DON'T start lecturing me again." Zoro cuts in with a glare. His hand pauses on Sanji's fly. The blonde is hard under there, he can feel it. But...

"Are YOU okay with this? Cause... I don't want to be a jerk. Uh, I mean I do want to- shut UP!" Zoro snaps hotly as the cook starts laughing at his choice of words.

"Yeah, ok." Sanji agrees, still laughing a little as he leans forward and kisses Zoro on the forehead. He's holding himself above Zoro on his arms, his legs on either side of Zoro's on the sofa as Zoro undoes Sanji's fly slowly.

He slides his hands inside the blonde's boxers and his heart flutters as he finds Sanji's dick. This is kind of a big deal, it's the first time that he's touched a dick that isn't his. It's a weird thing to think but it's true. He tries to get a feel of him, to mentally compare their differences, revelling in all the little ways that Sanji is different from him. It's nice, new.

Sanji seems to sense his pause though because his face shifts into something of concern.

"You know if there's anything that makes you uncomfortable you just have to say and it'll stop." Sanji says with a frown, pushing up and away from Zoro slightly.

Zoro grits his teeth in irritation, he's about had enough of this.

"You know what? There is, I'm really uncomfortable, so move." Zoro snaps, shoving Sanji back. The blonde leaps away from him like he's on fire and quickly tucks himself back into his pants and zips up his jeans.

"Are you okay?" Sanji asks worriedly.

"No, you're right, you're making me 'uncomfortable' as you'd put it." Zoro says flatly, gritting his teeth in irritation. He gets up off of the sofa himself and stands opposite Sanji.

"Whatever it is, just tell me." Sanji urges him, his hands held up to pacify Zoro and calm him down. It has the opposite effect on Zoro and he bristles with anger.

"Okay then, I want you to stop treating me like it's a forty year age gap between us instead of four. You're acting like I'm fourteen, not seventeen and you're acting like your in your thirties, not twenty one. Two years ago you were a teenager too you know." He snaps angrily, his fists balling at his sides.

"I'm not treating you like that, I'm just making sure that you know what you-" Sanji tries to explain.

"BULLSHIT!" Zoro yells at him furiously.

"You NEVER used to patronise me like this when you thought we were the same age! You treated me like the adult that I ACTUALLY am instead of like a kid." He argues.

Sanji looks like Zoro's just slapped him in the face. Shocked and stunned. Then his face turns to anger and it almost makes Zoro feel more normal about this whole thing, if Sanji wants to argue with him then at least that implies that the asshole thinks that he can take it.

"Well EXCUSE ME for trying to make sure that you don't do anything that you regret! I'll just stop caring about you then should I? You're such a bastard sometimes you know?" Sanji yells.

Zoro opens his mouth to reply and then shakes his head, it's not worth it.

"You know what? Remember what you were like when you were my age, you know, if your ancient memory can stretch back a massive four years. Tell me if you can really say that you'd be okay with someone treating you like you didn't know shit." He says with a sigh.

"Zoro..." Sanji says in a softer voice, perhaps sensing that he's gone too far this time.

"Whatever, I'm out." Zoro says shaking his head and walking to Sanji's front door, grabbing his coat and sliding it on.

"Wait- what? You're out? What's that supposed to... are you breaking up with me?" Sanji asks with wide eyes as he grabs Zoro's arm to stop him from leaving.

"Unless you cut this out then yeah, I am. Call me when you get your head out of your ass, either that or you can go fuck yourself. Bye." Zoro says, shoving Sanji in the chest. The blonde staggers backwards, still in shock, and in that time Zoro is out of the door and gone.

He stomps down the stairs fuming at Sanji but also angry at himself. Apart from Sanji treating him like he's made of glass he's a great guy. For a first ever boyfriend he's great, more than great in face. But this whole thing... it reminds Zoro of his sword practice. When he's good he just falls into a sort of... flow. Everything works and it feels great. Being with Sanji when things are good feels just like that. The two of them work so well together, they compliment each other's personalities and sure they fight and argue but it's fun. Nothing like that actually serious argument they just had. No, they both enjoy it when they argue over trivial shit for kicks, things like alcohol choices and movies, accusing each other of having terrible taste.

When Sanji treats him like that though, like he's a child or like Sanji is a dirty old man, it breaks that up. It's as disrupting as someone throwing rocks at him when he's sword training. It disrupts that perfect flow that he'd otherwise have and makes it hard to get back into it. He really wants to sleep with Sanji, to have all sorts of firsts with him but Sanji makes it intolerable to even try.

Zoro scrubs his hand through his hair in irritation. Half of him can't believe that he's doing this, he doesn't want to break up with Sanji, he really likes him. But being treated like this... that's a deal breaker for him. He won't be talked down to like that and he won't let himself be patronised. If Sanji can't cut that out then fuck him.

What's kind of worse is that Sanji isn't doing this out of malice, he's doing it because he cares about him. The ironic thing is that he goes on about consent over and over but he won't listen to Zoro saying that the way he's treating him isn't okay. He's told him time and again to quit it but Sanji doesn't listen. So much for consent, huh?

His feet take him back to his school, though the walk seems longer than it should and the path a little different (does he usually walk past that church?) but before he gets to school his phone has already buzzed in his pocket three times.

'are you serious about this?'

'SERIOUSLY?'

'so you're ignoring me now? V. mature asshole.'

Zoro looks at them unhappily as he reaches the school gate. None of those are an apology or an admission of fault so he's not going to answer them. Sanji has to own up to his own shit, otherwise Zoro has nothing to say to him.

"Hi Zoro." Cindry purrs at him as he walks by. He flips her off, not having the energy to tell her to get lost. He climbs wearily up the stairs to Nami's floor and walks into her room.

Nami and Vivi are in there, Nami at her desk and Vivi on her own bed. Zoro drops himself face down onto Nami's bed and whines.

"What's up?" Nami asks with a sigh, leaning back in her desk chair to look at him.

"MEN." Zoro groans, rolling over onto his back and glaring at the ceiling.

"They're all idiots." Nami agrees with a wise nod.

"Preaching to the choir Nami." Vivi agrees, turning a page in her chemistry textbook.

"I- wait, hey!" Zoro protests to Nami's amusement.

"First real fight huh?" Nami asks in a serious voice, her teasing at least temporarily done with. She sits down at the foot of her bed, the mattress dipping slightly as she does so.

"Yeah, and if he doesn't come around then it'll be our last too." Zoro says miserably.

"I'm sorry Zoro, that's rough." she says consolingly. She lays down on her bed next to him and gives him a conciliatory hug.

Zoro's phone buzzes again.

"Is that your phone or are you just pleased to see me?" Nami grins, her smile wide and devious.

"If you think that real men vibrate like that then I've got bad news for you." he smirks at her and then pulls his phone out of his pocket.

"Ah, another way in which technology has surpassed the mere man. So sad." Nami says dramatically, pressing her hand against her forehead and faux fainting back onto her bed in mock despair.

Zoro opens the text.

'For someone who's asking 2 be treated like an adult youre fucking childish!'

Sanji must be mad, his grammar is slipping.

"Fuck you too Sanji." Zoro growls and shoves his phone back in his pocket. That was a low blow.

It's been five days. It has been five LONG days and no matter how much or how little Sanji has texted or called Zoro he has heard nothing back. He glares at his phone again like it's the device's fault that his boyfriend is ignoring him. Or... perhaps not his boyfriend any more. Sanji will admit that he hadn't entirely believed Zoro's conviction when he stormed out five days ago but now he's starting to think that Zoro is serious.

It's such a bullshit reason for them to break up though, he thinks that's the reason why he can't accept it. He was trying to be a good boyfriend to Zoro is all and he goes and throws a tantrum for it? Asshole.

Only... the longer that Zoro ignores him the more he wonders if he has a point. He doesn't regret being gentle with Zoro at all, nothing like that. Perhaps he could have been a bit more tactful about it though. It's Zoro's last remarks that stick with him the most though, to remember what he was like when he was seventeen.

He can't think that he would have been a dick to someone who was only trying to look out for him though. Not like Zoro was. So, Zoro was being a bastard to him for no reason. Obviously.

"Who pissed in your juice this morning, brat?" Zeff asks suddenly from behind him.

Sanji near enough jumps out of his skin. A man with a fake leg has no business being that stealthy, though perhaps Zoro was just absorbed in glaring holes in his phone.

"Hey, old geezer. What was I like when I was seventeen?" He asks suddenly, the words popping out of his mouth without seeming to have crossed his mind first. He is as startled by the question as Zeff is.

The old man tilts his head like a bird, his face wrinkling with the concentration of trying to work out Sanji is thinking.

"Odd question." Zeff finally says, leaning back against one of the prep stations and squinting at him. Sanji agrees silently but doesn't want to give Zeff an explanation, to do so would admit his relationship with Zoro with now may or may not be a thing but also isn't something that he's ready to do anyway.

"Well?" He asks, the challenge evident in his tone.

"Same as you are now really, a little brat. Only now you're taller and less scrawny." Zeff shrugs, the hint of a smirk evident in the moustache twitch. Sanji flips him off with zero effort or thought required.

"I mean really though, was I as mature as I am now? As adult as I am now?" He presses, this is what he really wants to know. He wants proof positive that he's right and Zoro is wrong.

"You're exactly the same now as you were then. You're an arrogant little shit who always thinks he knows best and you never fucking listen to the advice of anyone else and insist on making all of your mistakes your damn self rather than learn from those who have already made 'em. You're a brat, you always were. Your attitude can be about as soothing as an industrial sandblaster in the asshole. You're as stubborn as a rock wall and dumb as a bag of hammers half the time." Zeff says flatly, his eyebrows drawing down in a scowl.

"Gee, don't sugar-coat it old man. Load the harsh truth on me, really, I can take it." Sanji deadpans.

"You're better off self confident than a yellow-bellied wuss and I always figure you learn better from your own mistakes than other people's advice. You're better off. Doesn't mean you're not as annoying as hell though." Zeff shrugs. Daww, that's about the sweetest thing Zeff's ever said to him. Sanji might just puke in the sink from the saccharine sweetness of it. Gag.

Still... there's one last question that needs asking.

"So, if I was seventeen and someone was treating me like I didn't know my own mind, even if they just had my best interests in-" Sanji starts but Zeff holds a hand up and stops him.

"You'd have kicked them in the face so hard they'd have shit teeth for weeks. You didn't even let people treat you like a child when you were one, let alone that old. Why? Patty brought up some argument about you as a teenager?" Zeff quizzes him, clearly wanting to know why he's asking all of these questions.

"No, I just think I may have been an asshole to someone." he answers miserably.

"No doubt. Now fuck off out of here, you're making the place look untidy." Zeff says, shoving the blonde away. It is long past the end of his shift after all.

He puts on his coat and walks out into the night. He leans against the back wall of the Baratie and starts to smoke. There is a logical argument here.

If he wants to consider Zoro's point of view then he should imagine their situations reversed, where he's the seventeen year old and Zoro is the twenty one year old. After all, the two of them are pretty similar, for all of their superficial differences, it's part of why they get on. Fine, he can imagine them the other way around. Now he just needs to imagine that Zoro is telling him that he knows what's best and trying to look out for him, just out of kindness and...

Sanji winces. He doesn't even need to mentally finish that sentence.

He remembers one time when he was at school and his guidance councillor was trying to give him career advice. He said something that wasn't chef and Sanji flipped his lid. He vaguely remembers leaping up and calling him a 'spunk brained sack of shit that couldn't even get a fucking teaching qualification and had resorted to jerking off on fucking with teenagers futures.' He vaguely recalls kicking his chair into the wall and shattering it, informing him that he wouldn't so much as piss on him if he was on fire and then stalking out.

Sanji clutches his hands to his face in reflected embarrassment.

Now, if that person had been a partner, someone who was supposed to be an equal...

Well, Zoro had been pretty fucking magnanimous about it then hadn't he?

But, shit, it still feels like there's something awfully wrong. He's terrified that he's fucking things up with Zoro, so he's just been careful about making sure that things were ok. So he'd asked. His stomach is still tensed like a vice, as if it's trying to wrap itself around his lungs and strangle him with nerves. Something isn't right.

"Old man?" Sanji asks, sticking his head back in the kitchen. Zeff is just turning off the lights in the kitchen so he's standing under the last lit light, making him look ominous and spooky.

"What." Zeff demands, his voice flat and unimpressed at having to shoo Sanji away twice.

"What do you do if your gut is telling you something wrong but it isn't the thing that you thought it was and now you don't know what to do?" He asks, the knot in his stomach tightening again.

"You keep listening to it until you work out what it is." Zeff says like Sanji is brain dead.

He flicks to the messages on his phone and sees the messages that he's sent to Zoro. Huh. Dumb as a bag of hammers indeed. This... this probably isn't the thing that has him in knots. Something was bugging him, is still bugging him, and he figured it was Zoro's state of mind. Apparently not. But what the hell is it?

He calls Zoro. It rings once or twice and then goes to voicemail. Zoro has hung up on him.

"Hey Zoro, it's me. I don't know if you're even listening to these any more, I wouldn't blame you if you weren't. I just wanted to say that I meant well but I was being a fucking bag of dicks to you and a patronising little shit. Frankly I'm touched that you didn't kick my ass for how I was acting. I'm... sorry. I was so focused on not fucking things up with you and not hurting you that I... that I managed to fuck things up with you and hurt you. I'm great at this, can you tell?" He laughs at his own idiocy, though it's not a happy laugh.

He turns and leans against the brick wall with his shoulder, holding his phone close to him.

"I'm sorry. Your message is probably gonna cut me off real fucking soon so... call me back? If... if I've not screwed up too bad. Talk to you soon... I hope?" He sighs and hangs up.

He's just getting through the door of his flat when Zoro calls him back.

"Zoro!" He gasps happily into the phone. He was starting to worry that he'd never hear from him again.

"Gee, I'm not sure that's enough of an apology, I think I need a letter written in your tears before I'll talk to you again." Zoro says sarcastically.

"I can do that." Sanji grins, kicking the door shut behind him.

A silence falls between them and Sanji decides to fill it.

"I really nearly fucked things up completely, didn't I?" He says softly.

"Yeah, you kinda did." Zoro agrees.

"I asked my old man what I was like when I was seventeen, I was convinced that I'd have been reasonable unlike you. Cause, you know, you were clearly being stupid and throwing a hissy fit for no reason. He ah..." Sanji winces.

"Told you that you were a fucking moron?" Zoro guesses, Sanji can hear the smug in his voice.

"No. Well, yeah he may have. But more specifically he said a lot of things about my temper, personality and how much I listen to people telling me I'm wrong. Entirely slander of course but... well... you probably handled that a lot better than I would have." He admits, rubbing the back of his neck. He toes off his shoes and his toes actually curl in the mortification of having to admit his flaws to someone. It feels like being in a knife fight with someone and tilting your head back so far that you're all throat and then setting up a big 'cut here' sign.

"You meant well, you're just... what did you say? A 'bag of dicks' about it?" Zoro snorts in laughter.

"I give you a heartfelt apology, eloquent soul poetry there and you mock me!" he says in mock hurt and Zoro laughs again, bright and bubbly. Something in Sanji's chest fizzes with glee. They're ok.

"I was just... trying to be gentle with you because I know that anything we do that's sexual is your first so I need to make sure you know that you can tell me if you're out of your depth or if I'm doing something you don't want." He starts, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut.

"I KNOW you've told me like-" Zoro starts up again, sounding irritated already.

"Shut up, I wasn't done." Sanji snaps out and Zoro falls silent.

"So, that whole junk is a first for you. Well... I've... I've never dated anyone before. I mean, I take people out on dates, a lot. I'm good at it, I told you that. But I never get beyond one or two. I'm new at this." He explains, losing the fire in his voice the further that he goes along.

It's like a lightbulb going on in his brain and his nervous system jangles. He's listening to his gut now alright. He'd been overriding Zoro when he said that he was okay because hearing Zoro say it didn't make him feel better, 'cause it wasn't Zoro who needed to be asked, it was him. He bites his lip to stop from groaning, way to project Sanji.

"So it's a first for you too." The other man says slowly, catching up with what Sanji's trying to say.

Sanji bites his lip and nods, then stupidly realises that Zoro can't see him and breathes out a 'yeah' in response.

"Well... same goes for you I guess. You can tell me if-" Zoro starts out, but Sanji interrupts him.

"I'm out of my depth." He says quickly in a small voice. He swallows thickly and realises that he's shaking.

"Okay..." Zoro says slowly.

"Okay. Look, we had a fight. You were an asshole, I told you off, you realised you were an asshole, you apologised, you're not an asshole any more. This shit happens. Hell, it used to happen with me and my sister when we were both growing up together. You know, you change as you grow up and she went from being basically my mother to my sister and it was hard but you fuck up, you realise why, you change, shit gets better." Zoro explains calmly. How can he be so calm? Sanji is freaking out. Talking to Zoro about this is fucking him up more than taking him on a date with, more than when he thought he'd pushed Zoro too far with the whole handjob thing and more than when they fought. He sits down on the sofa, his knees feel weak.

"Yeah, ok. Ok." He agrees, trying to sound calmer than he is.

"So... if you feel like you're out of your depth then tell me, idiot." Zoro admonishes him.

"I can do that." Sanji agrees, nodding and letting the breath flow out of his lungs in a silent sigh.

"But... what if I'm being an asshole again and I'm not listening?" Sanji asks, biting his lip.

"Then I'll tell you that you're an asshole." Zoro groans, clearly getting annoyed.

"You tell me I'm an asshole all the time, and I tell you that you're a bastard all the time. It's kind of why we like each other." He points out. He hears Zoro muffling laughter on his end.

"Good point. Well... I don't know. Maybe like a special way of saying it to show that you're being especially an asshole at that moment." Zoro reasons.

"Like a safe word?" He frowns in thought. It's not a bad idea.

"Wow, you really are more comfortable with sex than relationships huh?" Zoro says wryly.

"Now you're being an asshole." Sanji growls.

"Eh, sorry. Fine, we'll do that then. Pick a word, it's got to be something I'd never otherwise say, yeah?" Zoro says in thought, clearly trying to think of something he doesn't say, which is harder than it sounds as the first words to hand are the ones you use most often.

Sanji grins, this is a chance to get under Zoro's skin. He's missed doing that.

"Unicorns and puppies." He says, totally serious.

"Are you shitting me?" Zoro balks, his voice going high in indignation.

"Have you EVER said that sentence in your life?" Sanji asks with a smirk so wide it could split his head in two.

"No." Zoro grits out.

"Perfect, what a wonderful idea, thank you for coming up with it Zoro." he says in a happy sing-song voice.

"You're an asshole, you should feed me dinner tomorrow to make up for it." Zoro bitches.

"Well, I suppose I could." Sanji grins to himself.

"Ugh. I'll see you after class, loser." Zoro groans and hangs up.

He rests his hand on his stomach and lets his phone slide off of him onto the sofa. The knot there has started to go. Zeff told him to listen to his gut. He was close though, someone in that situation wasn't ok with how things were going. Only... it was him and not Zoro.

He doesn't care about sleeping with Zoro. Or, to be more accurate, he cannot stop thinking about sleeping with Zoro and it haunts him in all the best ways. What he really cares about though is not losing the first real relationship he's ever had by doing the wrong thing and hurting Zoro.

He's done dates aplenty, friends with benefits and one night stands. His queasiness about dating Zoro has fuck all to do with the shitty four year age gap, not any more at least. It's just about DATING Zoro. He'd happily screw around with him or be his friend and screw around with him. But he wants more than that and that's new and he has no idea how to do it right but desperately doesn't want to do it wrong.

He combs his hands through his hair and breathes deep in and out. It's... it's gonna be ok, Zoro will tell him if he fucks up.

Sanji has, on the whole, stopped acting like Zoro doesn't know what he's doing. The two of the did the whole 'I'm sorry' 'no, I'm the one who should be sorry' 'no, me' shit to death until they both felt okay. Since then the two of them had fell into a reasonably easy relationship. Zoro sometimes met Sanji at work and they just went back to Sanji's place.

Going back to Sanji's didn't always result in making out or him going down on Sanji or even sex. Though... they have so far only had sex that one time. Zoro grins into Sanji's knee just thinking about it. As much as he hates to admit it he's pretty sure that things only went as well as they did because Sanji was calling the shots there. He really really wants to do it again.

He's currently sat on the floor between Sanji's legs watching a movie with him. The blonde is sat on the sofa right behind Zoro and his legs are draped over Zoro's shoulders, one on each side. Sanji's spine isn't really functioning right now as within a minute of him starting to give Sanji a foot rub the blonde had melted.

"Sanji..." Zoro asks slowly, pressing the pad of his thumb into the first joint on Sanji's big toe.

"Mmnh?" Sanji mumbles in response.

"So. We had sex. That was- I mean... could I?" Zoro starts. Damn, this sentence isn't going well. He feels the arch of Sanji's foot tense.

"Could you...?" Sanji asks warily, sitting up and looking down at him.

"Could we switch?" He asks hesitantly. He sees the blonde's eyes widen and then his brow crease.

"Did you not like how we-" he starts, concern in his tone.

"No, no! That was... it was awesome." Zoro answers and he can feel the dumb grin slide onto his face like it has for the last week every time he thinks of it. Unfortunately all of his friends know that he's gotten laid now, apparently he's not subtle about when he's thinking about it, getting the same happy, self satisfied grin he has on now. Nami teased him and Zoro had to actually punch Usopp to get him to stop sending him the "I just had sex" song over the school email system.

"Heh, earth to Zoro?" the other man says, snapping his fingers in front of his face. He can't help but notice that Sanji looks pretty smug, like a bird that's been preening itself and feels all superior. He supposes it is a bit of an ego stroke.

"Shut it. I just wanted to return the favour you know?" He suggests hopefully.

"It's not a favour system Zoro, you don't owe me-" Sanji frowns, pulling his legs back and shifting so that he can see Zoro better.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'd just like to be able to make you feel like that, to... I don't know, get to try the whole thing out." Zoro frowns. He is not explaining himself well. But he wants what Sanji had. Sanji made him lose his mind and made him feel like he was gonna die and go to heaven, it felt like an earthquake inside of him rocking his body into bits and then slamming him back together all shiny and new. He wants to watch Sanji feel that, he wants to do that to him.

"We can but... it takes a lot of practice for things to go like they did for us last time. It's more about knowing what to do and reading it than doing what your body tells you that you want to do. If you just do that I can promise that it'll be a lot less fun for you and probably awful for me." Sanji says with a slight frown.

"Hey! Are you saying that I'm shit in bed or that I don't know what I'm doing?!" Zoro objects, deeply offended.

"No, I'm not saying that. This isn't an attempt to bruise your ego here Zoro." Sanji sighs, his hand coming down to the back of Zoro's neck and rubbing soothing circles in there.

"Look, we've had sex but it's pretty different from being in your position to being in mine. It takes time and lube and learning to ignore what your body says it wants you to do to your partner. If any of that's missing then you can expect a hell of a lot of pain." Sanji explains. Zoro frowns, Sanji surely can't think that he'd want to hurt him or that he'd not listen to him, right?

But if he's really worried...

"You know that you don't have to do anything that you don't want to, right?" He points out to the cook, returning Sanji's often stated get-out-clause back to him.

"How long have you been waiting to throw that back at me?" Sanji grins and kicks him playfully.

"Heh, a little while. Your face was perfect." Zoro replies, it had been too. A split second of shock and then irritation at Zoro's jab.

"I am serious though. If you don't want to then we don't have to, I was just... I just want to make you feel as great as I did. To return the favour. But if it's not your thing then that's cool too." He says genuinely.

"It's not that I don't want to, it's just that it can go wrong is all." Sanji explains softly.

"Okay, let me give you some context." The blonde sighs and starts to tell his story.

"I was sixteen and I was sort of seeing this guy Iceberg. He was the brother of one of my friends from school, though Iceberg was actually an apprentice ship builder at the time. He runs his own ship building company now, and I still see him around town every so often. He's kinda hard to miss, he's still got the same stupid blue buzzcut that he had when he and I were together. I guess I have a thing for guys with stupid coloured hair." Sanji smiles, diverging from his topic as he leans forward and ruffles Zoro's own green locks.

"Yeah, but my hair is cool." Zoro protests.

"Of course it is." Sanji shoots back teasingly. Zoro flips him off.

"Anyway, we both were kind of dumb, I'd slept with women before but not guys and he hadn't slept with anyone before, so it wasn't the best combination." Sanji elaborates with a wave of his hand. Zoro tries not to raise his eyebrow at Sanji because the blonde had spent time treating him like he wasn't ready for a sexual relationship when he had been sleeping with loads of people when he was even younger! Hypocrite. At least Sanji was over that dumb phase and was back to treating Zoro like a person again.

"So we went at it, we didn't think that lube was all that important and that the lube that was already on the condom was enough. We figured that we didn't need to take our time and he was kind of too impatient to warm me up to it and he didn't take it slow when he was in there either. The whole thing fucking HURT for me and was over way too fast for him. It was shit for everyone, that's why it's important to do these things right. I didn't want that for you so we took our time, remember?" Sanji says.

Zoro grits his teeth, there's something that he needs to know.

"I thought I was the first person you'd actually dated." He asks innocently.

"You are. I mean, we fooled around a couple of times and though things got a little better it was still super painful for me, but I didn't know enough to explain that to him. I suppose it's the closest that I came to dating anyone but it was probably closer to a friends with benefits thing, or that's how we treated it. Besides, he was seeing other people anyway, not that I knew then, so it wasn't an exclusive thing either. It didn't last long anyway and it doesn't feel like this does." Sanji shrugs.

Zoro tries to keep his face even, he doesn't want to upset Sanji. This bastard Iceberg hurt Sanji, badly and repeatedly. He hurt him so bad that Sanji got put off of relationships for years. Sanji might not see it but Zoro would have to be blind not to draw the conclusion that a traumatically painful first encounter like that put Sanji off of relationships.

Sanji's the kind of person who doesn't think about himself, he spends all of his time catering to other people. Both figuratively and literally as it happens. Hell, their whole first argument was because Sanji was too dumb to realise that his feeling about something being off was because of being out of his own comfort zone, rather than Zoro. Sanji doesn't think about himself or look out for himself, but he doesn't need to any more, Zoro can do that for him. Right now Zoro has a score to settle for Sanji on his behalf.

"Are you ok? I didn't mean to... I know that talking about other partners can be a bit of a faux pax with your boyfriend but I figured it was important." Sanji frowns, running his fingers into Zoro's hair in a soothing gesture.

"It's okay, don't be a dumbass. I'm not jealous or anything, it's not like this guy is going to come in and take my place." Zoro answers, and he's honest about that. If he and Sanji break up there are plenty of reasons for it, age or simply growing apart, perhaps an argument that gets too personal. Regardless of all of those possibilities that Zoro sincerely hopes doesn't happen, he is completely certain that infidelity isn't going to be a problem. He doesn't want anyone else and he can't see Sanji hurting him like that. They trust each other.

"Good, 'cause I want you." Sanji says softly and leans down to kiss Zoro sweetly.

Zoro sighs happily and catches the blonde's face in his hands and kisses him a little deeper. The two of them pull apart and he sees Sanji smile, sweet and sappy.

"I'm not saying no, I just want to make sure that we do this right. Besides, I'm sure we'll enjoy me walking you through the whole thing. And in the meantime I get to blow your mind a few more times with me leading." Sanji smiles pervertedly. Zoro's smile probably isn't any less perverted, but he doesn't care.

"Hm, speaking of that..." He purrs, climbing up on the sofa and catching Sanji's mouth in a deep kiss.

"Mm, since we're on the topic..." Sanji agrees between kisses.

"Yeah, I think maybe you should show me what you mean by blowing my mind." He suggests and topples Sanji back onto the sofa cushions.

Sanji gives a put upon sigh.

"Well, I suppose I can." Sanji says, he can't manage the seriousness and ends up laughing between their kisses. Before too long they're both losing clothing and Sanji decides to pull him towards the bedroom, not that Zoro is putting up any resistance at all.

Zoro stands at the docks, hiding in the shadows. He knows that he typically looks older than he is and he's changed out of his school uniform, a big giveaway to how old he really is. He's paying a visit to a certain ex of Sanji's and he's no intention of letting the guy belittle him for his age. He's dressed in clothes that he'd decided was intimidating enough to get his message across. He's got his heavy black paratrooper boots on, thick black jeans with his studded belt on it and a black t-shirt with a highly detailed skull on. That last one might have been a bit much, an entirely unsubtle comparison of 'you hurt Sanji again and you'll be this' that's his meaning anyway.

Even out of his uniform though Zoro is well aware that he doesn't look like a dockworker or a ship builder. So he sticks to the shadows as he makes his way towards his destination.

He found them online, all he had to do was google ship building companies in their town and there had been only one hit, the Galley-La company. He didn't even have to search through the staff list to find him, he was right there on the front page's banner with the rest of the workers in a group photo. Zoro had spotted his dark blue cropped hair right away, along with the height and broad shoulders. He had a square rugged jawline too. At least he knows that Sanji's type isn't pretty boys.

The more important thing is that Zoro knows what the guy looks like now.

He lurks in the darkness near the ship building company.

He has to wait there for a while but sure enough Iceberg walks past the alley that conceals Zoro's hiding place. He reaches out and snags his hand into Iceberg's shirt collar and yanks him into the dank darkness of the alleyway.

Not wasting any time he decks the fucker, his fist connecting right to the guy's cheekbone in what will surely give him an impressive black eye. Part of Zoro wishes he'd brought his swords but he doesn't want to actually kill the guy or get arrested for carrying around three deadly weapons, much less assault with a deadly weapon. No thanks.

The bastard sprawls to the floor in shock, holding his cheek and staring up at Zoro in surprise.

"Stay the fuck away from Sanji you bastard!" Zoro shouts, looming over him threateningly.

The guy grits his teeth and moves, he's fucking fast too. He hadn't been expecting much of a fight back but this guy is nearly as quick as Sanji. He can't help but wonder if that's what drew the blonde to him. His legs shoot out from under him at Iceberg's kick but he manages to recover himself, righting himself against the wall just as the older man leaps to his feet.

"What the fuck is your problem and who the fuck are you?" Iceberg demands, advancing on Zoro.

"That's none of your business. I've got a score to settle with you, you hurt him and now I'm gonna kick the shit out of you." He declares boldly. He decides not to give Iceberg any more time to react, now that he knows why Zoro's going to beat him down he ought to actually do so.

His first kick is blocked but he manages to get a good punch into the bastard's ribs. Unfortunately that puts him close enough that the asshole is able to get a good fistful of Zoro's shirt and drag him close. He does not want to be within anyone else's range. He stamps down on the guy's foot, earning him a loud stream of cursing and making Zoro very glad for his boots.

Iceberg accidentally lets go of Zoro and the swordsman squirms out of his grip and down out of his range. He's not got used to this guy's fighting style yet, but he clearly knows what he's doing. Iceberg lunges forward and sends a fast jab into Zoro's shoulder, his arm goes numb and tingly. It's not stopping him from moving it but it certainly messes with his strength and his proprioception. He swears and ducks back a little more. Some kind of martial art perhaps, something deadly and not the kind that fucks about. He doesn't know enough about hand to hand martial arts to identify it. Goddamn he really wishes that he'd brought his swords, even if it was just his wooden training ones. He's good in a fistfight but not in a full on fight with someone trained in hand to hand.

He hisses and swings a kick that ought to hit the guy's kidneys and put him out of commission pretty quick, this is no time for dicking about. Only his hit doesn't connect. Iceberg's hand catches Zoro's heel. He has a wide eyed second of panic before Iceberg throws Zoro's heel above his own head, as he's not as flexible as Sanji this results in him landing backwards on his ass.

He lands, badly, with Iceberg using his hold on Zoro's foot to slam him down onto his elbows and shoulder blades. Pain explodes in his back and Iceberg shoves him over, grabbing Zoro's wrist and shoving it up so hard that it feels like his arm is going to break. He twists Zoro's fingers in a way that is clearly meant as a threat to dislocate if not break them.

"Don't you dare move. You're telling me that Sanji sent you here?" Iceberg demands.

"Sanji didn't tell me to do shit, you hurt him and I'm gonna-" Zoro considers his position, "when I get out of this I'm gonna break your goddamn FACE."

"Sure thing. Get up, Sanji doesn't live far from here, lets see what he has to say about this." Iceberg says and pulls Zoro to his feet roughly.

Zoro gets marched through back alleys until he's in Sanji's neighbourhood. Every time he makes a move to get Iceberg back, by crushing his feet or trying to headbutt his face he's stopped. Iceberg twists something just so and Zoro is forced to stop or else risk breaking his own bones.

He'd figured that by the time they got to the front of Sanji's building someone would stop them. A grown man clearly dragging a teenager somewhere against his will? Surely someone will break them apart and when they do he can get his revenge. Only no one does, they all look the other way as Zoro is marched into Sanji's building swearing and hissing.

Iceberg slams his hand on Sanji's door and twists Zoro's arm as a warning not to try anything.

Sanji opens the door but as soon as he takes sight of the two of them his eyes widen in horror.

"Zoro!" Sanji gasps.

Iceberg finally releases him, shoving him at Sanji violently. Zoro stumbles, catching onto Sanji's chest with his non-aching arm.

"So this yours then." Iceberg says darkly.

Zoro turns on his heel and glares at the manhandling son of a bitch.

"You fucking BASTARD! I'll-" He starts, rushing forward, intending on knocking every smug tooth out of his head for what he's done. He's not going to underestimate him again, and with Sanji at his side he's sure to win.

"What the hell is going on here?" Sanji yells between them, his arm catching Zoro in the chest and trying to keep the two of them apart, no matter how much Zoro struggles. He doesn't want to hurt Sanji so he's rather restricted in his options to get by him.

"He punched me in the face and then started incoherently screaming about how I hurt you, is there something I should know?" Iceberg answers. Clearly leaving out the details about how Zoro is going to be covered in bruises tomorrow and nearly got his arm and hand wrecked in the fifteen minute journey over here. He bristles in rage.

Surely Sanji will see through that, see how he's hurt and-

"Oh for fuck's sake. ZORO, knock it off right now!" Sanji snarls, smacking Zoro in the back of the head hard enough to stun him. Zoro's jaw drops. Sanji's taking THAT guy's side instead of him?

"But he hurt you!" he protests loudly, pointing angrily at Iceberg who does no more than raise an unimpressed eyebrow at him.

"That was not the point of that story!" Sanji argues. Zoro strongly disagrees. He didn't just hurt him physically, he hurt him emotionally too. He cheated on him and left him with the impression that relationships are bad. This guy is the reason Sanji gets so skittish sometimes.

"Just what did you tell him?" Iceberg asks, like Zoro isn't right goddamn THERE.

Sanji flushes red, the tips of his ears going pink and his back tensing. He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably. Iceberg is putting him on edge, Zoro is going to wreck this guy at the first chance he gets.

"I... was trying to illustrate why it's important not to just leap right into sex and that lube and time are important and what happens if you don't. I thought that going over my first time might explain that, apparently that's not what he took out of that." Sanji says, levelling Zoro an unimpressed look over his shoulder. Zoro glares at him, Sanji's the one that doesn't get it, not him.

"You're... fucking this kid? How old is he? He looks like he's about thirteen." Iceberg says flatly.

Zoro's jaw drops. THIRTEEN?! He's going to KILL this guy!

Sanji clearly reads him and slips out of the flat, pulling the door to behind him so that he can talk to Iceberg outside.

Zoro kicks his door and then stalks about the room. Sanji's treating him like he's the one in the wrong here, but he's not the one who hurt Sanji. Iceberg had it coming!

Sanji finally comes back into the flat, looking pissed off as hell at him.

"Don't EVEN! He hurt you! I was completely justified in-" He starts to rant. No way is he getting the blame for doing exactly what he's allowed to do. He's supposed to protect Sanji and Sanji is supposed to protect him, that's how this works.

"I was sixteen, just a stupid teenager. It wasn't his fault or mine, we were just dumb kids who knew nothing about what we were doing but still determined to get off. You can't just track down my first same sex lay and attack them!" Sanji yells at him. Zoro shrinks back, Sanji is really genuinely mad. This is a genuine argument now and he is starting to doubt that he did the right thing. It doesn't feel wrong but Sanji clearly quite strongly disagrees.

"But... he hurt you." He says earnestly. That's all that he cares about, no one should hurt Sanji ever. He's got to make him see that, he didn't do this out of some kind of crazed fight club urge.

His words seem to make Sanji soften somewhat.

"You said that he hurt you, and I got the impression that you didn't know that it was an open thing right away, you said that it was just friends with benefits but that's not true, is it?" He presses.

Sanji glances away. Bingo. He knew he was right.

"It was a long time ago and it doesn't matter Zoro, even if- and it's none of your business anyway. I was trying to tell you something else with that story." Sanji says with a huff.

"I'm not stupid, I KNOW that. I want you to walk me through it anyway, I care more about how you feel than what my body says to do. I'd rather throw myself out of your window than hurt you, you know I've got self control. I promise you I'm not going to be like he was, you don't need to worry about that." Zoro insists.

"I didn't say otherwise, and I wasn't worried about it anyway." Sanji says sullenly, looking off to the side.

"See, this is why I wanted to hurt him. Maybe I shouldn't have actually... I just lost my temper. I can't stand to see you hurt." he says quietly, moving a little closer to Sanji and touching his arm.

"It's stupid, it doesn't effect me." Sanji says shaking his head.

Zoro doesn't say anything, he just watches Sanji. The blonde doesn't look right at him right away, just scratches the back of his neck, a gesture of tension Zoro is sure of it.

"You can't just go around attacking people Zoro, that's real psycho shit." Sanji says after a little while.

"Yeah, I'm kinda sorry about that." Zoro admits guiltily. What if the cops had caught him or if word had got back to his school? He should really think these things through a little more.

"Don't worry about it." Sanji says and comes close, wrapping his arms around him. Zoro winces sharply at the pain in his back and tries to choke back some pained cursing. It doesn't hurt that bad, he's had worse in training but he just hadn't been expecting it. In all of the adrenaline of the argument he'd forgotten about it.

Before he can protest Sanji has whipped Zoro's T-shirt up over his head, leaving him half tangled in the fabric. Cool, long fingered hands run over the road rash on Zoro's shoulder blades, back and hips.

"Motherfucker..." Sanji hisses in quiet fury.

"I'm fine, Sanji. I started it remember?" Zoro reminds him, pulling his t-shirt up all the way off and flexing his sore wrist as he does so. Sanji walks around his front, looking him over for any more injuries. It's only when the blonde stops with his fingers on Zoro's shoulder that he remembers Iceberg's punch there, the one that made his arm numb. He twists his neck to get a good look at it and in his surprise sees that it's already bruising an angry red and purple.

"Oh, wow. He hits hard, what's he trained in anyway? I didn't recognise it." Zoro asks curiously. It's not karate, he's familiar enough with that to know that on sight.

"Krav Maga. But there was no need for him to- he's got like a foot on you at least... you're lucky that nothing's broken or dislocated!" Sanji says through clenched teeth, his eyes hot and angry.

Zoro wonders about that and decides to test it.

"Yeah, well. He nearly broke my finger and dislocated my arm on the march over here, he had me like that on the whole way to yours. It's still kind of stiff." Zoro says nonchalantly, and holds his hand up, flexing his fingers. It does feel kind of stiff but he knows that no real damage has been done.

"Right, I'm going to go after him and kick his fucking teeth out-" Sanji snarls, heading for the door.

"What was that about it being psycho to going around attacking people?" Zoro calls. Sanji's hand freezes on the door handle.

"This is different." Sanji says without looking at him, though Zoro can hear in his voice that he's not sure about it.

"Uh huh."

Sanji sighs and leans against the door, looking at Zoro unhappily. That's the deal though, if Zoro is gonna get chewed out for going after Iceberg then Sanji can't do the same when in truth the ship builder was just defending himself.

"Just get me an ice pack and stop sulking, I've had worse in competitions." He orders, shoving Sanji towards the kitchen.

"I didn't know you competed." Sanji says over his shoulder as he walks into the kitchen and opens up the freezer.

"Yeah, kendo remember?" He frowns, surely Sanji hadn't forgotten his greatest passion?

"Duh, I just didn't know that you were competitive. Well, hah, I know you're a competitive little shit but I didn't know that you did competitions in kendo." Sanji says and throws a gel ice pack in Zoro's face where it hits him wetly.

"Yeah, I've got a competition in about a month and a half actually. I can get you a ticket if you'd like." He offers.

"I'd like that." Sanji answers warmly. He's clearly pleased at having been invited and Zoro is looking forward to being able to show of his skills to Sanji. He doesn't want the blonde to think that just because he lost that fight to Iceberg that he's a total pushover.

But, suddenly a thought occurs to him about inviting Sanji.

"Ah. There's one problem. Well... not a problem really, just... you might not be happy about it. My sister is coming to that match too, she'll want to meet you." he admits.

Sanji goes pale. He looks like Zoro's just told him that he's going to pull all of his fingernails out with pliers or something. It's stupid because Sanji's never even met Robin, he's just heard about her now and them from him. Sure Robin's a little bit scary sometimes and he's told Sanji that, but she's not the antichrist for goodness sakes!

"You don't need to make that face. I've not told her about you yet because she can get a bit over protective, she's like that. But if I tell her she can meet you there then she'll be okay with that. We can all go out to eat afterwards." he offers with a smile. It's a nice thought actually, two of the most important people in his life getting to know each other. He thinks that Robin will probably like Sanji.

"Sure, th-that sounds great." Sanji smiles weakly, leaning against the freezer.

"You'll get on fine." Zoro assures him and then heads off to find something for the two of them to do for the evening.

Sanji doesn't think that he has been so terrified in a long long time. He shows up at the sports stadium in the closest big city. The competition is a state wide one so people are coming from all over. Zoro travelled with his sister and Sanji drove himself.

He keeps his hands in his pockets so that he doesn't have to see how much they're trembling. He regrets not telling Zoro that he and Robin have met, or about her threats against him. If Robin divulges that information then it'll look bad for him, he's not sure if Zoro would think it makes her look bad too or not.

He doesn't have to find Robin, Zoro booked their tickets and they ended up together. The number on his ticket shows just when he has to go. His heart is in his throat as he heads in the general direction of his stand.

"Sanji!" A bright excited voice distracts him.

He turns to see Zoro's three closest friends bounding towards him, all bright smiles. He's met them a few times and Zoro always talks highly of them, they're nice people and they seem to like him well enough.

"Zoro didn't say you'd be here, what a nice surprise." He smiles, feeling genuinely relieved to see some friendly faces.

"We snuck in." Nami says with a wink. Sanji has no idea how she's managed to do that but, wow, well done to her.

"We always see Zoro's sword matches, we'll be up in the catwalk though so that we don't get thrown out." Usopp explains, pointing up at the ceiling where long metal walkways house the lights and speakers.

"So, you're meeting Robin then! I hope she doesn't kill you!" Luffy laughs, making Sanji's heart sink like a rock.

"Don't remind me." He mutters.

"Luffy! Don't say that, you'll make him nervous. Besides, I'm sure you two will be fine, you're a good guy!" Nami assures him, patting his arm consolingly.

"Well... we'd better go." Usopp says slowly and the three of them disperse around him.

Sanji is not looking forward to this but he can't just bail. Besides, he really does want to see Zoro's fight. He steels himself and continues walking to his allocated space. As he gets close he sees that Robin is already there, her oil slick dark black hair a dead give-away. He jogs up the steps towards her because if he doesn't go quickly then he may not go at all.

She looks at him and smiles wanly as he approaches. She takes her handbag from his seat and pats it for him.

"Sanji, I was starting to think that you wouldn't come." She says smoothly, watching him through dark lashes.

"I wouldn't do that to Zoro." Sanji replies quickly and sits down. He decides to crack open the bottle of water that he brought with him, drinking from it will give him something to do with his hands that won't look jittery and it will give him an excuse not to be talking. He's partway through his first sip when Robin speaks again.

"Speaking of doing things to Zoro, is my brother still a virgin?" Robin asks smoothly.

Sanji only just manages not to spray the water in his mouth out onto the back of the head of the guy in front of him, only just. Though in avoiding doing so he damn near drowns and spends the next few moments violently coughing his lungs out.

"What?" He gasps croakily, looking at Robin with watering eyes.

"You heard me, and I'll know if you're lying." She says.

Sanji's jaw works mutely, his mouth forming around words that he can't quite manage to say. He swallows thickly and tries again.

"I- I'm not really sure that's any of your business." He says unsteadily, closing the lid on his water bottle a little too tightly.

"He's my brother." Robin says firmly.

"And he's an adult, he can tell you or not tell you whatever he wants. I'm not going to go against that." he says shaking his head.

"Listen to me, Zoro tells me everything. Don't think that you can hide from me." Robin says darkly, her eyes boring into him. This time Sanji stares back at her, meeting her gaze full on.

"If he tells you everything then why did he only tell you about me the other day? He said that you didn't know, not that I told him that you'd been following and threatening me almost from day one. I'm not the one with something to hide here." Sanji says back, his voice like steel. He doesn't usually say anything so harsh to a woman, but Robin is acting more like a demon than a lady.

Robin stares at him for a beat, then two. After that her face breaks out into a cheshire cat grin and she leans back into her chair.

"Finally he shows some spine, I was hoping it was in there." She laughs lightly, like she hadn't just been trying her hardest to make Sanji piss himself.

"I am glad that he's properly introducing us. And by properly introducing us I mean buying us tickets next to each other and conveniently not being there. It's interesting that my brother feels more comfortable having a real sword swung at him than being around us for this meeting." Robin says smoothly, her eyes scanning the competition area. Sanji can't pick Zoro out but at least half of the participants have helmets on at the moment.

"I know how he feels." Sanji mutters. He thinks that he'd rather take a chance against a sword than this.

"I'm not that bad." Robin laughs lightly.

"There was something that I wanted to show you actually, a warning of sorts." Robin says thoughtfully as she turns to rummage around her handbag.

"Another one?" Sanji asks despairingly. Robin has him terrified enough.

"No, this is more of a friendly warning. It's a family picture." Robin says handing it over to him.

It's a polaroid, the kind taken from those older cameras that printed the picture out of the machine right away. It's in colour but it's slightly faded, the edges wrinkled and slightly dog eared. There are two adults in the back of the picture and three children in front of them.

The woman at the back is tall and slender, white hair framing her face and features that are almost identical to Robin's own. She's beautiful, like a greek statue, almost too elegant to be real. In front of her is a girl who looks just like her, a younger version of Robin he realises. She's a teenager there, perhaps a little younger than Zoro is now. He hands are held neatly behind her back and her smile is soft and reserved, her eyes sharply on whoever it was that held the camera.

To Robin's left is a girl with bobbed black hair and a sharp chin, her nose closer in shape to Zoro's than Robin's but her eyes different to either of them. She's skinny, a preteen who's got the height of a young woman but the frame of a girl still. Her eyes aren't on the camera, instead she's glaring at the boy to her left.

The boy is a young Zoro, easily under ten but not by much... seven perhaps? Nine? It's hard to tell, he's not great at guessing the ages of small children. Even if Zoro's green hair wasn't sticking up everywhere it'd be easy to spot him, he's got his trademark scowl aimed at his sister and if it weren't for the hand of his father on his chest then Sanji is sure they'd be scrapping.

"Heh, even then he was fighting with people, huh?" Sanji laughs softly, looking down at the picture.

"Oh you don't even know. The racket those two used to make, chasing each other around the house, fighting, trashing furniture. They drove me out of my mind." Robin groans as if even now the memory still irritates her.

"This is what I wanted to show you though, my father." Robin says, leaning into him and tapping her finger on the man in the picture.

Sanji's eyes widen. The man behind Zoro, the one restraining him from thumping his sister in their family photo bears more than a passing resemblance to Sanji's boyfriend. His hair is just like Zoro's, bright mossy green, though his hair is longer, swept back over his strong brow. His dark tan and strong jaw are identical to Zoro's own, his nose and eyes the same too. But looking at him Sanji can see that Zoro's got his mother's mouth and her cheekbones too. He's not a perfect copy of his father as Robin appears to be of her mother.

Perhaps most noticeable about the man in the picture is that he has the kind of body that would have made Arnold Schwarzenegger feel like he's not spent enough time at the gym. His muscles look like they have muscles and in the tight vest that he's wearing Sanji starts to spot similarities. Zoro's got his broadness of build, the same hip to shoulder ratio, long collar bones and muscled neck.

"Zoro's going to look like him." Sanji concludes. Fucking Zoro, he's won the genetic jackpot. The kind of thing that steroid peddlers have tried and failed to bottle accurately.

"He's not going to stay as your little twink forever, if that's what you're looking for then you need to re-evaluate your relationship." Robin says, her voice serious.

Sanji cringes at her use of the word.

"I really don't think twink and Zoro belong in the same sentence at all, probably not in the same discussion. Zoro's only a little shorter than me now and absolutely not some kind of skinny emo kid build." Sanji points out flatly.

"Anyway, there's a reason that I thought Zoro was my age when I first asked him out, there's no way that a seventeen year old should be able to look like him unless he's got genes like this." Sanji laughs, handing Robin back the picture.

"As long as you're ok with the fact that by the time he's your age he's probably going to look just like our father." she says with a nod.

Sanji remembers Zoro's request to be the one topping him and then imagines Zoro build like his father, strong thickly muscled arms holding him still, large hands trailing over Sanji's body and powerful thighs- wow, he really shouldn't be thinking this right next to his sister. Especially in a fantasy half powered by looking at a picture of a man who's now dead. There's going to be a special place in hell for him.

"I think... I think I can deal with that." Sanji says, trying to keep his voice normal. From the way Robin's smile curls on her face he suspects that he's failed and she knows just what he's thinking.

"I bet you can." She says with a waggle of her eyebrows.

Sanji spots a flash of green which draws his attention back to the stadium centre. Right there under the spotlight Sanji sees Zoro's green hair light up like a light. His helmet is in one hand and his sword in the other. He and his opponent are talking to the judge, no doubt agreeing on a fair fight. Two other judges stand by on either side. Both Zoro and his opponent are dressed in black but Zoro has a white band around his arm and waist. The guy that Zoro is facing looks about ten years older than him.

"That's an age difference." Sanji murmurs.

"Zoro is well out of his age range, he's too good to fight anyone his own age." Robin whispers back.

Zoro nods sharply at the judge and puts his helmet on with one hand, clicking it in at the back before shaking his opponent's hand. There's a flash of steel from both opponents swords and Sanji's gut twists painfully. Zoro explained that both opponents wear padded clothing and the swords are dulled slightly, but injuries are still common.

Zoro grips his sword with both hands and readies himself, Sanji's hands tighten on the edge of his seat. He's seen Zoro in a fistfight and he's sparred with him, he knows that Zoro is strong, but these are real weapons.

The other opponent moves first, there's a flash of steel and his blade moves off track, Zoro stepping to the side as easily as anything. For a second Sanji thinks that Zoro will attack him now that his opponent has his back turned, and from the speed that the other guy turns he seems to think so too. Zoro doesn't move though, not until his opponent is facing him.

This time Zoro lunges at him, so fast Sanji almost doesn't see him move. He ducks low, under his opponent's defending blade and slices up, his blade halting just on the side of his opponent's chest. If this had been a real fight with fully sharpened swords and no armour, this guy would be dead.

The judge holds a white flag up, both other judges doing the same and both fighters return to their place. Zoro's opponent shakes his arms out and readies himself.

This time Zoro attacks first lunging in and going for his opponent's wrist, he's blocked though and Zoro has to lunge to the side to avoid being hit. He turns his lunge into a jump though, his foot turning on the mat and propelling him up to land a strike on the side of his opponent's helmet so loud that it rings through the stadium. Three white flags are raised and the crowd explodes in cheering, Zoro won.

"You only need two points to win?" Sanji asks in surprise.

"It's out of three or for time but Zoro almost never gets to three, he doesn't lose. Very rarely someone else gets one point in but not often." Robin shouts over the crowd.

Zoro's opponent looks like he's going to punch him in the head and when Zoro goes out to shake his hand the grip of it looks almost painful.

His next opponent comes out, again with a red armband and sash in opposition to Zoro's white. They shake and start again.

Sanji watches Zoro like a hawk, he sees him breathe in deep, settle himself into his stance and raise his blade. He is so focused. Zoro leaps like a tiger, landing on his right foot and whirling around his opponent's jab to his chest to bring his sword against his partner's wrist so hard that the other guy's sword skitters across the ring.

"Holy shit..." Sanji breathes in awe. He's never seen Zoro move like this, though in retrospect he's seen hints of it. Hand to hand isn't Zoro's thing but put a sword in his hand and Sanji is pretty sure that not even god could stop him. Three white flags go up, a unanimous point.

Zoro returns to his place. This time Zoro stays on the defensive for a while, letting his opponent come fruitlessly at him again and again, defending himself with fluid ease that borders on mind reading. Eventually Zoro seems to tire of it and this time Sanji doesn't even see Zoro's move, he just sees three white flags. Zoro's sword is pressed into the throat of the other man's neck protector.

Sanji gasps and the crowd cheering around him washes over him without even registering. Sanji's pants are getting slightly too tight for his liking.

Zoro's third opponent comes in, they shake and ready themselves. The match is over in thirty seconds, Sanji counts. Zoro's opponent doesn't have a chance to defend himself, Zoro makes two clean and controlled strikes that get him full marks. The other guy doesn't even come close to touching him.

Sanji's hands are shaking. As crazy as it makes him, he wants to fight Zoro. He wants to put his martial arts skills to the test, his capoeira against Zoro's kendo. He wants to feel Zoro's power first hand. Part of him even wants to lose, to have Zoro win and... no, bad Sanji.

"When Zoro wins this next match then it's over." Robin says to him as the other guy leaves.

"Over?" Sanji asks wide eyed.

"Zoro wins first place outright and everyone else has to compete for the rest, like always." Robin smiles, pride radiating off of her in waves.

The next guy who comes on looks like he could bench Zoro with ease, he is fucking HUGE.

"That's Daz, he's one of the best." Robin whispers to him. Sanji can see the slight change in Zoro's demeanour and only because he knows him so well, Zoro is uneasy.

The guy comes up and shakes Zoro's hand, looming over him.

They square off against each other and it's Zoro who moves first, going right for Daz's wrist. Daz dodges however and slices at Zoro's arm, Zoro stumbles and the blade comes down hard on the side of Zoro's helmet. Robin hisses angrily and after a second Sanji sees why. There's a gash in Zoro's sleeve, right at the top of his bicep and his white armband is now red. He's bleeding.

"That's got to be a foul, right?" He gasps, but no, three red flags raise up. They return to their places, Zoro's sword in just his left hand now. He shakes his arm and moves his fingers but winces when he raises his am to hold his sword. He drops his arm and the judge asks him a question. Zoro shakes his head and grips his sword in his left. He moves his right arm behind his back, bending it so that it's in the arch of his spine. Sanji grins, Daz fought unfairly and now Zoro's going to destroy him. He's going to literally beat him with one hand behind his back. Daz clearly gets the insult too, his shoulders rising in anger.

Zoro lets him go first, he parries three times before ducking and slamming his blade into Daz's side. The larger man stumbles left so hard that Sanji thinks he might fall. There's a split in his armour but no blood, Zoro has restraint. Three white flags and it's Zoro's point.

They return to their places and for a second, neither of them move, both waiting. Watching. After a few long seconds Zoro goes first, barrelling at him with a speed that is all or nothing, if Zoro doesn't make this hit he'll be on his ass on the other side of the ring. Daz clearly wasn't expecting this but Zoro is already inside the loop of his arms. Zoro turns his dive into a jump and leaps up right inside Daz's arms and brings his sword down so hard on Daz's head that the other man is brought to his knees before him. The paint is chipped off of Daz's helmet but he seems otherwise ok, furious but okay. Three white flags. The room goes insane, Sanji is screaming himself horse but he can't even hear his own voice over the noise.

Zoro steps back and takes his arm out from behind his back, shaking it loose and using it to lift off his helmet. He smiles, though Sanji spots the slightly self righteous tilt to it as Zoro comes close to Daz, offering his hand for a shake or to help him up. Daz storms off, ignoring Zoro. Zoro's smile becomes a grin, the predatory kind that he's seen on Robin before.

"Come on." Robin urges him, and the two of them leave their seats.

Robin leads him through the building until they come to an unmarked room. She knocks on the door and opens it to reveal Zoro with a brown haired doctor who looks even younger than Zoro is. The cut on his upper arm is bandaged and Zoro doesn't look like it even stings.

He's sweaty and his hair is tousled. His muscles shine in the light of the medical room and if it wasn't for the audience Sanji would shove him back and have him right then and there. Instead he settles for talking to him.

"You were fucking amazing." Sanji grins at him.

"I lost a point, Daz got me." Zoro scowls, his hand coming to the bandage.

"He played dirty." Robin notes.

"It doesn't matter I should be able to-" Zoro starts, angry at himself.

"Next time little brother. Hopefully first place and a nearly unblemished scorecard will soothe you until then." Robin teases him. The tension drains from Zoro's shoulders and he grins at Robin, bright and broad.

"So... you two have met?" Zoro asks a little tensely, looking between them.

"No, I let this strange man just follow me here." Robin says flatly and Zoro rolls his eyes. Same sense of humour then.

"Yeah, we've... we've met." Sanji smiles, looking sideways at Robin. He doesn't mention that this isn't the first time, but he supposes that it doesn't matter.

"Great, well, I want pizza. Like, an entire pizza. Maybe two." Zoro says, jumping off of the table and grabbing his bag from the floor.

"Zoro, be careful with that- oh what' s the point?" The doctor groans and Zoro entirely ignores him.

"I think we can get you pizza. Come on." Robin says, leading the three of them away.


	63. Chapter 63

This chapter is in response to the absolutely amazing art by yuushishio on tumblr, GO CHECK IT OUT

Zoro stands on the street corner, his hands on his hips and a happy sigh building in his lungs. It's been a calm day today. In the morning he cleared almost all of the paperwork off of his desk and now that he's on the beat in the afternoon it's been great. The sun is shining, crime has been absent, there's a light breeze and... and some asshole has just knocked his cap off of the top of his head and into his eyes. Zoro straightens it, snarls and turns around to see the blonde standing there with a huge smug grin on his face.

"What." Zoro grits out.

The blonde leaning against the lamppost is long and lean, a pretty boy really, all feathery blonde hair with a stupid fringe and a pretty sparkling smile. He's the kind of asshole that clearly gets away with shit because of how good he looks. He's a degenerate criminal that Zoro sees far too often in his office and whilst Sanji isn't bad per say he's got a smug asshole streak in him a mile wide.

"'sup?" Sanji grins, giving him a two finger salute from his temple.

"I'm doing my job, so get lost blondie." Zoro growls.

Zoro's not police as such, their small to mid sized town isn't big enough to have a full police station and so they've got a sheriff's office. It works fine for Zoro. He's the second in command, or at least second in the pecking order. The actual sheriff is Smoker but he prefers the title 'Captain' and refers to everyone else as sheriff, unless you piss him off in which case you suddenly become a deputy. It's weird but it works.

Their town is mostly low on crime, except for Sanji. Again, Sanji isn't a bad guy, he's just a troublemaker. He gets in fights, he steals from grocery stores like a kleptomaniac in heaven and he seems to commit crimes just for the sole purpose of getting hauled into Zoro's office. The moron seems to like it.

"Hey, I'm a citizen, maybe I have genuine distress and I'm a victim of crime." Sanji sighs dramatically, faux fainting against the lamp post as he presses the back of his palm to his forehead.

"Okay, let's hear it then. Who has desperately wronged you?" Zoro asks, not even bothering to take his notepad out.

"You. Your face is causing me emotional pain." Sanji smirks, flicking Zoro in the nose. He hisses and smacks Sanji's hand away.

"You know that harassing an officer is illegal, right?" he points out grudgingly.

"Oh dear, maybe you ought to arrest me officer-kun." Sanji sighs in a fake sugary voice complete with a saucy wink as he presses his wrists together and holds them out for Zoro.

A vein in Zoro's forehead throbs.

"No. You seem to get off on wasting my time so if you don't have anything better to do then kindly fuck off. Do you know how much paperwork arresting you gives me? Don't make me do that for nothing, so get lost." He insists, shoving Sanji away.

It's not as if Sanji even has the excuse of being a bad kid who needs to grow up, Sanji is the same age as him for crying out loud. Whilst Zoro's out helping people and earning a sensible living Sanji is out... doing whatever Sanji does when he's not ruining Zoro's day. Which happens often.

"So... what you're saying is..." Sanji starts, humming in thought and tapping his lip as he 'thinks', "that I should commit a serious crime for you to arrest me."

"NO! That is not what I'm saying at all! I'm saying stop committing crimes and leave me alone! You're nothing like the real criminals that I have to deal with, I don't even know why you do this!" He groans in exasperation. His day had been going so well until now.

"Nah, that's definitely what I heard. Hm. A real crime... a real crime... mmm... how about streaking? Public nudity's a pretty big thing, right? If you know what I mean." Sanji grins and does something with his eyebrows that Zoro is sure is grounds for arrest on it's own.

Sanji's hands come to the bottom of his t-shirt and he starts lifting it up, it's at his waist when Zoro speaks.

"You wouldn't." He says flatly.

"Oh yeah? Look, it's almost off." Sanji says, shimmying the shirt up high enough for Zoro to see his nipples.

"Don't." Zoro warns.

Sanji pulls his shirt off swiftly and balls it up before hurling it in Zoro's face hard enough for the thing to wrap around his head. As Zoro wrestles it off of him he hears the dangerous sound of a belt being undone.

"Oh no, that's it. You're coming with me." Zoro says, reaching for his handcuffs.

"No way sheriff Moss!" Sanji crows and bursts into a run.

"For fuck's sake... GET BACK HERE!" He yells angrily, hotly pursuing the blonde. The problem with chasing Sanji is that he's at least as fast as Zoro is, if not slightly faster and more nimble. He can do things with his legs and with his body that-

It's like fucking parkour ok?

"You'll have to catch me first!" Sanji yells over his shoulder and throws his belt at Zoro's legs. The leather winds around Zoro's ankle, nearly making him trip before he can flick it off.

Sanji's hands are on the button of his jeans now and Zoro is at least begrudingly impressed that Sanji can strip and run at the same time. Whilst he is academically interested in how Sanji plans to get his jeans off whilst he's still wearing shoes he doesn't want the blonde to actually expose himself in public.

He bodily flings himself forward, catching the blonde around the waist and bringing them both down in a heap on the pavement. Sanji twists like a cat in a bathtub as they go down and Zoro ends up facedown with Sanji on his back facing up at him.

"I hate you." He groans into the blonde's skin. And his... hair and...

Zoro jerks his head up sharply and realises that Sanji was halfway to taking off his jeans and that his jeans and boxers are far enough down that Zoro had his nose buried in Sanji's hair there and dear lord he does not get paid enough to deal with this kind of thing.

"Wow, at least buy me a drink first." Sanji purrs at him.

"Ugh!" He groans, heaving himself up, flipping Sanji over and yanking one hand up his back as he roughly shoves the first handcuff on him.

"You have the right to remain silent- please, dear god, use that right. Anything you do say may be used against you in a court of law, now get your skinny ass up." Zoro snaps, hauling Sanji to his feet with both hands cuffed behind his back.

"A little rough there officer, have you got some kind of kink? Playing rough and tough, handcuffs and innocent blondes?" Sanji teases him as Zoro leads him around the corner towards his car that Sanji had rather ironically been running closer to.

"You are the exact opposite of innocent." Zoro asserts as he pulls open the door to the back of his squad car.

"Oh do you like-" Sanji starts but Zoro just hurls him in there and slams the door.

He takes a moment to rub his temples and take a deep breath. His day is always so much more stressful whenever blonde here shows up. He gets into the car and drives back to the station with Sanji kicking the back of his seat and alternating between saying 'Hey. Hey. Hey. Oi. Pay attention to me.' and 'Are we nearly thereee yeeeet?' along with a rousing rendition of 'I know a song that'll get on your nerves'.

He drags Sanji into the station and hauls him over to his desk. So much for getting his paperwork out of the way.

"Hey, marimo, serious question. Can you get my smokes and my lighter out of my pocket? I'm dying for a smoke here." Sanji asks, his tone not joking this time.

Zoro squints at him but Sanji doesn't seem to be making fun of him.

"No way, you'll just say something perverted and then I'll have to stop myself punching you in the face." Zoro glowers.

"No, for real. I won't say a word, I promise." Sanji insists. His tone is genuine and his face doesn't show any signs of trickery at all.

"Okay, but if you've got anything weird in your pockets I swear..." Zoro warns him.

"Nothing weird. Front left pocket, please." the blonde says.

Zoro reaches out for his jeans but Sanji shakes his head.

"My left, not your left. Don't get lost Zoro." he laughs. Zoro grumbles but goes for the correct pocket this time. Sanji's jeans are frustratingly tight so he has to get up real close to Sanji to get into his pocket, almost chest to chest with the other man.

He'd demanded that Sanji not do anything or say anything but suddenly Zoro finds himself wishing for his silence because being this close to Sanji without any of the mocking, teasing or sniping is... unsettling. He can hear the soft way that Sanji breathes and feel the heat radiating off of him where their cheeks are almost touching from being so close.

The silence stretches out between them and it seems like a millennia before he pulls the cigarettes and lighter out. He doesn't look at Sanji and instead shoves him down onto crappy fold out chair. He taps a cigarette out and Sanji remains eerily silent, just watching him with those blue eyes of his. He holds it out and the blonde leans in to take it from him, his lips brushing against Zoro's fingers and wrapping around the cigarette in a way that has Zoro's blood pressure rising.

Why is he the only one who ever has to deal with Sanji? No one else has ever arrested him, it's like Sanji just tries to fuck up Zoro's shifts personally.

He leans down over Sanji and flicks the lighter on. Sanji tilts his head up at him and smiles that bright, cocky smile.

"Why the fuck is it always YOU in my office?" Zoro grumbles as he lights the smoke.

"Hi there mosshead sheriff." Sanji rumbles in this voice that sounds ripped right from a porno. Zoro must have done something awful in a past life to get tested like this so much.

"Don't hi me!" He snaps.

"Besides, it's not like you just saw me. Why are you saying hi NOW?" He demands angrily.

"Well, you didn't give me a chance to say hi earlier. It's rude. You've got no manners you shitty moss." the blonde says and draws in a breath that makes the end of his cigarette light up a bright glowing red.

"Sorry, I was too busy chasing down a half naked pervert." Zoro grumbles, pulling the appropriate paperwork out of his desk and leaning back to withdraw Sanji's substantial file from the cabinet. Zoro had only just filed it away this morning.

"Alright, just... stay there. I know most of your information off by heart now." Zoro sighs and starts filling out Sanji's name, age, date of birth, address and so on. He glances up at the blonde and swears the he sees him deliberately flex his abs and stretch his neck back invitingly. The cook is just messing with him.

"I've got new details now marimo." Sanji says, leaning in and smiling at him.

"You moved or something?" Zoro asks in surprise, looking up agains at Sanji.

"Nah, I've got a new contact number. I've got a cellphone." Sanji rattles off the number for Zoro and the sheriff writes it down out of habit in a box that had remained blank before. Previously they'd just had his home number down as a contact, he lived with his adopted father in a rough part of town.

"Well, ok. Got it." Zoro says absently and continues filling in the form as usual, citing Sanji's crime and the location and such.

"I just thought you should know it." Sanji says into the silence.

"Uh-huh." Zoro mumbles as he writes down the road name, he always spells that one wrong.

"My phone number that is. I thought you should know it." Sanji repeats.

"Yeah, I got it. What even is the code for streaking? Now I've got to look this shit up. Do you see how much trouble you are?" Zoro sighs and reaches into his desk for his reference book. Sanji is scowling at him.

"It's my number. That you can call me on. At any time, for any reason. Because I always have it with me." Sanji says to Zoro as if he's particularly dumb.

"That's how these things work." Zoro responds, writing down the code for Sanji's crime in the box.

Sanji squints at him, takes one last drag of his cigarette and drops it onto the floor and crushes it under the heel of his boot. He blows smoke right in Zoro's face just to piss him off.

"My phone was in my back pocket when you tackled me. I suppose you could say that if it dialed it was a booty call." Sanji says loudly.

"Quit the lame jokes." Zoro orders as he continues writing.

"I SUPPOSE YOU COULD SAY WHAT WE COULD HAVE HAD THERE WAS A BOOTY CALL." Sanji all but yells.

"Will you two SHUT UP out there?!" Smoker roars, sticking his head out of his office door.

"It's him not me!" Zoro shouts back, pointing his pen angrily at Sanji.

"What's this about a booty call anyway?" Smoker demands, looking between them.

"Oh, nothing. I was just giving Zoro here my number. I do have this phone in my pocket though, or something like that. Maybe you should do a strip search." the blonde says, waggling his eyebrows at Zoro.

"You were streaking, you essentially strip searched yourself. Stop trying to make more work for me." Zoro grumbles and finishes his part of the form.

For some reason Smoker looks like he is physically in pain and Sanji leans forward and smacks his head against the desk.

"Quit that!" Zoro demands, shoving Sanji back. Sanji goes with it and leans back in the chair, letting his head fall back with an unhappy groan.

"Are all of your staff this dumb or is it just this one?" Sanji groans to Smoker.

The sheriff or rather 'Captain' looks at Zoro and shakes his head.

"Just this one. Finish that form, deputy." Smoker barks and returns to his office with a swish of his jacket.

"I- HEY! Why am I a deputy now? What'd I do?" Zoro shouts after him in distress. His voice is slightly dampened by Sanji's outrageous laughter.

"See? You're trouble!" Zoro declares, turning back on Sanji who still hasn't stopped laughing.


	64. Chapter 64

Based on the series of prompts on tumblr by tea-and-outer-space "i just committed a crime and i need to use you as a hostage i am so sorry" au

Sanji does not appreciate being run into, he does not appreciate being slammed into the floor by the force of the person that ran into him and he really does not appreciate being held at gunpoint. It's amazing the level of detail that you can feel when you're terrified, for example; right now he can feel exactly how cold the muzzle of the glock that is pressed into the underside of his jaw and pointing up at his brain is. He can feel the shape of it, the slightly gritty feel of spent gunpowder on the end. He'd appreciate his keen senses a little more if he wasn't, you know, being held at gunpoint.

"Come any closer and I'll blow his brains out, I swear it." The green haired man yells past Sanji's ear to the cops that are staring them down with their own weapons drawn. He's clutched tight to the man's chest as he backs up away from the cops.

"Hey now, think about this." One of the cops says and carefully takes a step closer.

"Oi! Not another fucking step, I mean it!" The guy bellows at the cops, his gun swinging from Sanji's head to them and back again. The guy's hand clenches against Sanji's pectoral, snagging his shirt in awkward ways as he backs up more. Sanji doesn't expect it when the guy leans down and his lips brush against his ear when he speaks.

"I am so, so sorry about this. It's just- this is really important and I can't get caught. I didn't want to take a hostage." He whispers to Sanji.

"So why are you doing this then?!" Sanji yells struggling in an effort to get free.

"Because I had no choice, I really won't hurt you but I need them to think that I will. Come with me." He whispers, his voice blowing across Sanji's skin.

Sanji strains his neck to look at the guy and hot damn. Sanji appears to have been taken hostage by a guy who could be on the cover of GQ magazine, his face all sharp sculpted lines and holy shit is he hot. This is an entirely inappropriate thing to be thinking about his kidnapper but the guy doesn't seem to notice as he keeps his gold eyes trained on the cops as they back up. He doesn't even notice the strangled 'nnhgh' noise of arousal that slips out of Sanji's mouth. Apparently his brain can't entirely separate 'oh god I might die' from 'I might die if I don't get in your pants right now'. Great. He really needed to be more messed up in the head than he already was.

"I robbed the bank, my friend is gonna get killed if she doesn't get enough money together and I couldn't let that happen to her." He explains in a quiet voice. Sanji's heart throbs, an honorable thief? Trying to help out a poor maiden? Fuuuuck. Hit all his weak spots why don't you hot guy?

"I need to run when we get far enough away from them, it'll be faster if I'm not carrying you, so... are you gonna run off?" The guy asks, looking down at Sanji.

'run away with you? Yes please!' Sanji's brain goes excitedly. Thankfully his mouth doesn't say that.

"What'll happen if I don't?" His mouth says instead, staying at least a little sensible.

The guy's mouth pulls down into a troubled expression.

"You seem like a good guy, I'd hate to shoot you." he says, looking at Sanji worriedly. For some stupid reason Sanji finds himself believing him. His eyes drift onto the gun and sees that he doesn't even have the safety off, if the green haired guy pulled the trigger now absolutely nothing would happen.

"I am a nice guy, I'd really hate to get shot." Sanji mutters a little awkwardly. God, is he flirting with this guy?

"Don't worry about the cops, you won't get in trouble. You're a hostage, remember?" the guy adds.

"Don't follow me!" he yells at the top of his lungs, making Sanji's ears ring.

"I don't even know your name." Sanji says, as if the whole situation would be okay if he did. The guy continues backing him up, but his grip is looser now, no longer clutching Sanji so tight as to hurt.

"Oh," he says, looking surprised. He turns his head to Sanji and smiles brightly, Sanji's knees go a little weak. "I'm Zoro."

"Zoro." Sanji murmurs back.

"Come with me, please?" Zoro asks as they pull around a corner with the cops still in place.

Sanji hesitates for just a moment. This guy isn't going to give him a choice about this, either he runs or he gets carried as a human shield. It's dumb to trust someone because they're hot and it's dumb to believe the word of a bank robber but...

"Ok." He nods. Zoro beams and drags him off in the right direction by the wrist.

The two of them run like the wind, it feels like they barely touch the ground, skimming over the pavements with barely a millisecond of contact. The guy is fit as hell and he can really run, Sanji so rarely meets anyone who can keep up with him but this guy can! If it wasn't for the fact that he's, you know, a bank robber and wanted criminal he'd be the man of Sanji's dreams. Of course he doesn't know much about his personality but if it's bad then he can just keep his mouth shut and Sanji can still feel like he's perfect.

"WAIT! You're- that's a dead end down there, come this way!" Sanji gasps and tugs Zoro in the right direction. For a brief moment he has his hand in Zoro's before the other man drags his own hand back up to balance himself as he sprints for his life. Sanji can't help but notice that slung over his shoulder is a huge duffel bag that's clearly bulging at the seams, no doubt with money.

"The train tracks, this way. My buddy should have stopped the train there." Zoro gasps out, pulling the two of them to the right.

"IDIOT! The train tracks are this way, come on!" Sanji berates him, dragging him the right way. Geez, without his accidental hostage Zoro would be lost and no doubt arrested by now! The two of them pelt in the right direction, Sanji's muscles starting to burn in pain as the lactic acid builds up in them. By some miracle the train is only just starting to pull away as they get to it, though by the time that they get level to it the thing is almost going as fast as they are.

Sanji sprints a little faster, jumps and lands in an open freight cart, the kind with the open doors like they have in movies. He gasps and sucks in air through his burning lungs and leans out of the open doors to see Zoro not quite keeping up. Sanji's eyes go wide, the bag is weighing him down.

"Throw the bag!" Sanji yells to him. Zoro's eyes go wide and for a second Sanji thinks that he won't do it. Why would he? If he does that then Sanji is getting away with a fortune and Zoro may well be stuck there to be caught by the cops empty handed. He has no reason to- Sanji flails and catches the bag. Zoro THREW it at him!

Sanji flings it behind him and leans fully out of the train cart, save for one arm anchoring him inside.

"Take my hand!" He shouts above the wind. Zoro nods and flings himself forward, he'll hurt himself so badly if Sanji doesn't catch him, but catch him he does. Zoro's weight lands in his arm and Sanji heaves and pulls the two of them back inside the cart, falling on each other in a tangled disarray of limbs and elbows which stick in all the wrong places. They press against each other on the dusty, dirty floor and breathe so hard. They pant and gasp as they try to get their breath back.

"You are- the WORST- bank robber- EVER." Sanji pants, gasping in every few words.

"That was crazy!" Zoro yells in excitement, rolling off of Sanji and onto his back, his fists pumping into the air in glee. It must be the adrenaline, that's why they're both laughing like five year olds.

"You're the best hostage." Zoro smiles at him after they've got control of themselves. The words are making Sanji's insides squirm.

Zoro shuffles over to the bag on his hands and knees and pulls it open, stacks and stacks of hundred notes at in there. That is more money than Sanji could earn in a lifetime.

"That is a LOT." He breathes in awe.

"It's not enough, my friend... she's trying to buy back her whole town from these mobsters. We're all doing our best but- I don't know. I'll have to do it again I guess." the man says grimly, looking down at the money for a moment before zipping it shut.

"Well... maybe if you need a hostage again... maybe I could help." Sanji says quietly.

"Best. Hostage." Zoro repeats, grinning from ear to ear.

Sanji might just be a professional bank robber now. Now, if only he can manage to sleep with another professional bank robber and save a lady in distress he thinks that his life would be pretty damn good.


	65. Chapter 65

From tea-and-outer-space's list of AU's. This one is "I was shrunk to 4 inches tall by a witch and now I kinda live in your kitchen without you knowing au"

Sanji doesn't really notice it at first, he just figures that he's getting a little scatter brained. He is pretty tired from working so long on the paperwork from the Baratie as well as working there during the day. It starts with a mangled dish towel, there's rips and holes in it but it must have got chewed by the washing machine. He keeps using it and thinks himself lucky that it wasn't one of his shirts that got the same treatment.

He gets a little more suspicious when two of his corn on the cob holders end up broken, the tines of them snapped clean out. After that he starts noticing food being tampered with, not much but it's little things. He finds a packet of peanuts knocked over in the pantry, the sticky tag that holds the packet shut flicked open. Next it's grapes detached from their stems and dropped on the floor with one half eaten on the counter and chunks taken out of bread in the bread bin. A wine glass that he had left in the sink gets knocked over in the night waking him up, leaving chipped glass and splashes of wine all over the place. After that he figures that he has a mouse in his kitchen. Sanji of course is horrified at the idea and promptly sets out traps.

The first time that Sanji hears a trap go he's just dozing off to sleep but a flare of guilt makes him get up. The little mouse was just trying to feed itself, no crime in that, Sanji just can't have one in his kitchen. He wants to make sure that the little thing is dead and to put it out of its misery if it isn't, that and he doesn't want a dead mouse in his kitchen all night.

He pads out into the kitchen and sees the triggered trap in the middle of the floor, but no mouse. Closer inspection reveals the cheese on the trap to be entirely missing.

"You clever little shit." He murmurs in vague awe.

He sets more traps up but he never catches anything, he just loses more morsels of food. He tries all sorts of things, a little bit of fish, bread, nuts, anything that he can think of that might make his little mouse friend linger. He has no success.

Sanji does not appreciate being outwitted by a rodent.

He figures that he's going to have to go manual on this thing. He buys a small mesh cake cover and sets it on the kitchen countertop and makes himself a plate of assorted mouse and Sanji tempting nibbles. He sits there long into the night doing work that he actually needs to do and snacking as he goes though he doesn't eat all of it. After that he causally flicks around on his phone, setting up a FaceTime call to his laptop in the other room. He positions his phone on the side, camera facing his plate as he covers it with the mesh net and turns off all of the lights but the under lit stove light. He goes to his bedroom and quickly accepts the call on his laptop and waits, the dim image flickering on his laptop.

It takes twenty minutes before he sees the mesh move, the little bastard is able to lift it up from the other side.

He grins to himself, proud of his cunning and creeps out into the kitchen, sneaking low to keep out of sight. He can see a little shadow moving under the mesh. The metal obscures most of his view but he can see his prey in there.

"Gotcha!" He shouts in glee, clamping his hand on the top of the mesh to stop his little mouse from escaping.

He slides a file under the mesh, plate and all and takes it towards his balcony. He feels the terrified scrabble of little feet against his palm through the cardboard as he walks.

"Okay little mousey, you can't stay here, so get lost." Sanji says as he places the file, the plate and the mesh on the concrete floor.

He lifts the mesh up ever so slightly, leaning it a little to one side so that the opening faces the fire escape, hoping his rodent captive will take the hint and bolt for the first exit. Nothing comes out. Sanji lifts it a little more and flicks the back of the mesh. Nothing comes out.

He scowls and takes the mesh off entirely, placing it next to the plate. There's no mouse in there at all. How can that be?

A sound catches his attention, a clattering sound. He turns his head and sees the mesh flipped up and a small dark shape running into his home again. That cunning little mouse! It must have clung onto the top where Sanji couldn't see him.

"Oh no you don't!" He yells, grabbing up the mesh and rushing into his home again. He sees the dart of the little creature and dives for it, slamming the mesh down over it. There's a pained squeak as he does so and Sanji realises that he must have caught it under the edge of his cake cover. He takes the pressure off a little as he gets onto his knees. He squirms around the cake cover and sees not a mouse but a tiny person.

"What the fuck…?" He breathes in stunned awe. He reaches down with one hand and wraps his fingers around the tiny… person… thing. He eases the cake cover off of him and holds him fully in his hand. The little man fits fully in one fist, he can't be more than four inches tall at the most.

The little guy is wearing Sanji's dishcloth, ripped apart and pulled over his head leaving bare arms. His tiny face is furious as he beats little fists against Sanji's thumb. He's got unnaturally green hair and that is what makes Sanji speak next.

"What are you? Some kind of fairy or something?" Sanji asks with wide eyes. The tiny man looks up and glares at him in utter offence. He stuffs one arm back inside Sanji's fist and squirms some more. Sanji feels something sliding in his hand but the guy can't escape so he doesn't pay it much thought until the tiny guy pulls his hand back out with a gleaming steel bar in it. He has time to register that it's one of the sharp little tines from his cob holders before the guy jams it into the meat of Sanji's thumb.

"OUCH! You little shit, give me that!" Sanji snaps, pulling it from his tiny hands. To his surprise the guy does it twice more, he was armed with three of those things. The guy isn't talking, but instead making angry sounding squeaks as he fights Sanji's grip.

Sanji searches the kitchen one handed and finally finds what he's looking for, a large glass vase with steep sides. He carefully puts his hand inside and drops the tiny guy in there, as he releases him, his tiny hands and arms flail and reach out for the glass sides but he can't get any purchase and slides to the bottom with a long squeak of skin on glass.

As he lands on the bottom of the vase he sits there in a daze for a moment before springing to his bare feet and rushes around pushing at all the glass sides and trying to climb the walls of the vase. Sanji watches him in awe. He's made himself a kind of tunic thing out of Sanji's dish towel and tied it around his waist with a few loose threads. Other than that he's naked and bare footed.

"Hey hey, calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you. I thought you were a mouse." Sanji says gently, he doesn't want the little guy to be scared. The guy flips him off and keeps trying to climb out. He tries to tip the vase by throwing himself at the walls but the thing is too heavy for him to manage it and too wide for him to climb up by pressing himself against both walls.

After five minutes he gives up, sitting down on his butt with his head resting on his bare knees and his back to Sanji. He looks so small and hopeless.

"Can you talk?" Sanji asks, peering through the walls of the vase. The guy looks over at him and though Sanji can see his mouth move all he hears is squeaking.

"I can't understand you, you're too high pitched." He explains. The tiny man smacks his hands against his face and shakes his head.

"Oh!" Sanji gasps. He reaches for his phone and turns off the call that he'd left running. He opens up the notepad app and carefully places his phone in the vase, dodging the guy's attempts to grab him and presumably climb up his arm.

He's about to ask if he knows how to use it but the little green haired man just scoots closer to the phone and starts to type, pressing his hands against the projected keyboard.

'let me the fuck out'

"Will you run off if I do?" Sanji asks in response. The guy hesitates and then types.

'you tried to kill me. A lot.'

"I didn't know you were a person, I'm sorry. But it's not exactly a normal situation here is it?" Sanji responds defensively.

"Let's start over. I'm Sanji, I'm a cook. Now you." He says gesturing to Zoro.

'I'm Zoro. A witch made me tiny cause I pissed her off' Zoro writes, having to correct his name a few times as the phone's autocorrect suggests real words.

"I guess you learned your lesson huh? How'd you get into my flat? Tell me whilst I go get the food, you must be hungry." Sanji says as he gets up off of his barstool and heads out onto his balcony and grabs his plate of food up again and brings it back to the kitchen island. He peers at the phone as he reaches in and picks Zoro and the phone out of the vase. It feels strange to feel bare feet on his fingers and tiny hands wrapped around his thumb.

When he sets Zoro down it's clear that he's thinking of running, but the longing look he gives the plate of food assures Sanji that he won't. He checks the message Zoro left him.

'shut up. I got here on a bird. Remember that crow that flew into your window a month back? That was me. I stayed out in the cold until you came out for a smoke and then I got in. Sorry I stole but I'm so hungry'

Sanji feels a pang of guilt roll through him in a sick wave. The poor little guy, he must have been so cold out there, especially if he was naked too. He looks down and sees Zoro starting to eat, his raggedy dishcloth clothes just about decent as he bends over the plate and grabs what he can reach to feed himself.

"Don't be sorry, if I'd have known you were here I'd have fed you. There you go, help yourself. I'm gonna get you a drink." Sanji says with a nod, the poor little guy must have just been getting what he could scavenge which doesn't leave him with enough water. He fills a half teaspoon measuring spoon with water and sets it next to Zoro who gladly drinks from it, dipping his hands in and drinking greedily from his palms.

The little guy chews into the flesh of a grape after Sanji gives him his little improvised swords back, though why he needs three he'll never know. He eats tiny handfuls of cheese and hummus until he's stuffed and sprawled out happy on the work surface.

"You're pretty cute you know." Sanji grins, reaching down and rubbing Zoro's hair with a gentle fingertip. Zoro shoves him away with surprising strength and squeaks angrily at him, flailing his arms as he chews Sanji out in a voice too high pitched for Sanji to understand.

"Cuuuute~" He repeats, ruffling Zoro's hair again.

As Sanji gives Zoro a bunch of cotton balls to make a bed with and cuts him out little strips from his ruined dishcloth for blankets he considers that it might be nice having a 'little' bit of company around the place.


	66. Chapter 66

A/N: This is another series of short AUs from the list by tea-and-outer-space on tumblr. This one is "Tree climbing contest but we both got stuck up on the top branches and now we have to wait for the fire department au"

"This," Sanji asserts as he clings to the trunk of the tree, "is entirely your fault."

"How is this MY fault?" Zoro yells, waving an arm and swaying the spindly trunk of the tree that they're both holding onto for dear life. The two of them cling to it a little harder, in silence as if their very voices might topple them off of the branch and down onto the floor.

"If you hadn't kept climbing then I wouldn't have had to climb higher, then neither of us would be in this mess." The blonde says primly.

"If YOU hadn't kept climbing then I wouldn't have had to go so high either! It's your fault!" Zoro snarls back at him. Sanji sounds like he's sulking but Zoro can't be sure. At the very tip top of the giant oak tree that their friends had challenged them to climb are two tiny branches of exactly the same height on opposite sides of the trunk. The wood is so new and so fragile at that height that the branch bends under Zoro's feet and the two of them are hugging the trunk for fear of the branches finally snapping. It's not an empty fear either, the branch below the one that Zoro is standing on snapped when he made his jump to this one to meet Sanji's final height. The branch below on Sanji's side is splintered and won't take either of their weights, much less one after the other.

They are stuck.

Thankfully their friends have gone to get the fire department who will rescue them from the tree like stupid cats who forgot how to climb down. It's humiliating really and Zoro's going to hear no end of it from his sensei, he's always being told off for his pride.

"I'm glad I'm not scared of heights." Sanji remarks after a while.

"I'm not scared of heights either. It's the hard stop at the end that scares me." Zoro says with a shudder, his fingers a little tighter on the bark.

"HAH! You are scared!" Sanji crows as if this is another competition between them. Zoro leans forward and cranes his head to look at Sanji's smug face.

"Ever dropped a water balloon onto the ground out of a window this high? What do you think'll happen to you when you hit the ground? SPLAT!" Zoro says and watches as Sanji's eyes widen and his face goes several shades whiter.

"I… I wouldn't. You're just messing with me. Usopp fell out of a tree before and he just broke his arm." Sanji says with a shaking voice. He remembers that, it was last year right on Usopp's thirteenth birthday.

"Yeah, and we passed the height of that stupid tree in Usopp's garden ages ago, right around the point that you tried to kick me off of the branch, you cheater!" Zoro snaps.

"Hey, the rules didn't say that I couldn't." the blonde reasons.

Sanji can't even see the ground from this high and in fact he's a little grateful for it. It's easier to pretend that the tree is lower than it is if he imagines that the lowest branch he can see is the bottom one.

"Your old man is gonna kick. Your. Ass." Zoro says with a laugh.

"So is your sensei!" Sanji yells.

A silence falls between the pair as they each imagine exactly how much they're going to be yelled at for this stunt.

"Maybe we can just live up here? Build a tree house, eat… whatever grows on this kinda tree…" Zoro trails off.

"Acorns. 'sides, you'd die from cold before too long. At least you wouldn't starve." Sanji points out.

"Sorry." Zoro mumbles. Everyone knows the circumstances that led to Sanji being adopted, what he went through. Zoro had seen just how thin he was when he first moved in and that was after he'd been let out of the hospital.

"I'm fine. It's not going to happen, we're going to be rescued long before- hey, do you hear sirens?" Sanji gasps, his head snapping up.

"Yeah!" Zoro laughs, leaning up on his tiptoes.

The truck pulls close enough up that Zoro and Sanji can't see it through the branches below them, but they can hear the metallic clanking of their machinery and hear the voices of the firemen below. After that with some beeping a guy in a red helmet pulls level with them and then is slowly eased towards them as the ladder inclines their way.

"ACE!" Zoro yelps in excitement, recognising the wild black hair under the red hat and the grinning freckled face looking at them.

"Luffy's older brother? Oh wow, it is!" Sanji gasps, realising it after squinting at the man for a second.

"Still getting in trouble I see Zoro? You're no better either Sanji." Ace tuts but it's clear that he doesn't really disapprove at all. Zoro has heard enough stories of when Ace was younger to know that the guy was no saint himself.

"He started it!" Sanji accuses, pointing a finger right at Zoro.

"That's not going to help anyone." Ace sighs, wagging his finger in Sanji's face.

"Actually… Luffy started it. He asked who could climb the highest." The green haired boy muses.

"Did… didn't we leave our lunches down there with him?" Sanji asks, his eyes widening as he idea dawns on him. It doesn't help that Ace bursts out laughing.

"That would explain why my brother was sprawled out at the bottom of the tree asleep and with a big fat belly!" The firefighter laughs, holding his stomach in mirth.

"Alright, enough laughing at you morons. Come on Zoro." Ace says and reaches out, grabbing Zoro under his arms and hauling him across the gap to the ladder. Zoro looks down and sees that Ace is holding himself on with his legs wrapped around the rungs, leaving his hands free to manoeuvre Zoro onto his back.

"You got a good grip there kid?" Ace asks as Zoro wraps his arms around Ace's shoulders.

"I'm good." Zoro agrees.

"H-hey, don't leave me up here!" Sanji stammers out, clinging to the tree trunk as he looks from Zoro to Ace wildly.

"Calm down brat, I've got you too." Ace laughs and reaches out, grabbing Sanji just the same as he did for Zoro and hauling him close. Sanji ends up held between Ace's body and the ladder with Ace's left arm wrapped around him whilst his right holds onto Zoro's arm.

Ace whistles loudly between his teeth and the ladder pulls back so it's fully vertical. Sanji and Zoro's faces are less than a fist's distance apart and between them they share a wide eyed look of fear at suddenly see just how high up they are. Not that either of them would ever acknowledge such a thing later.

The ladder slides back down towards the fire truck and eventually comes so that the two boys can jump down a foot or two to the roof of the fire truck. After that it's a simple drop to the floor again.

The two boys stand side by side on the grass by the massive oak tree as Ace leans down to talk to them, both boys expecting to be shouted at for so foolishly dragging the emergency services out for something like this. Furthermore both of them know that anything Ace dishes out will be nothing in comparison to what their respective guardians will say to them.

"I think…" Ace says slowly, looking from boy to boy, "that the two of you have probably learnt your lesson about trees."

"Yes." Both of them say in unison with meek nods.

"I think that I can probably let this slide without telling your families about it too. But if I have to pull your dumb asses out of a tree again then I will, got it?" Ace muses

"Got it! Got it!" Zoro agrees eagerly.

"Thank you so much! We won't do it again, I swear!" Sanji adds with vigour.

"Alright then." Ace smirks at them and then messes up the hair of each of them in turn before hopping on the outside of the fire truck as it pulls away, this time with its sirens off.

As the truck vanishes out of sight the two boys sag with relief, bonded for a rare moment in the shared experience of a close call with parental wrath.

Zoro turns and looks at the tree they just got down from, even from this height it looks huge and he wonders what possessed him to climb such a giant thing.

"He did eat our lunches, look." Sanji grumbles, pointing to where Luffy is snoozing on the floor at the base of the tree. Two lunchboxes sit open alongside Luffy's and the younger boy's belly is bulging out from where his t-shirt has been pulled up.

"I can't believe we fell for that." Zoro agrees grudgingly.

"Yeah." Sanji nods and looks up at the tree, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hand.

"We climbed pretty damn high though, look at it." He says with a low impressed whistle.

"Sure did." Zoro nods, feeling rather stupidly proud of himself.

"Too bad for you that I climbed higher though." Sanji declares, turning to Zoro with a smirk pulled wide across his young features.

"YOU DID NOT!" Zoro howls in rage, his fists clenching at his sides.

"Sure did." Sanji says, poking his tongue out.

"No, and you're just saying it to piss me off. Anyway, I'm better than you at almost everything. I can run faster than you too." The other boy says, lifting his chin in a defiant challenge. Sanji goes purple with rage.

"YOU CAN NOT!" the blonde screeches.

"Race you to the station." Zoro challenges.

The two boys stare eye to eye for a moment before, at the exact same time, bursting off into a sprint, shoving and jostling each other as they do so as each of them tries to tear into the lead. When the two of them get to the station, sucking in breath after desperate breath neither of them can agree on who got there first either.


	67. Chapter 67

A/N: another on the list of AU's from tea and outer space "we're strangers but i absolutely hate your music taste and i feel the need to tell you this on a crowded subway au"

Zoro has had to put up with this shit for every day of the last two weeks. His shifts got changed and now he has to get the subway thirty minutes earlier than he used to. He always ends up in the same carriage as the irritating blonde and usually ends up pressed near him. He gets on first but no matter what carriage of the train he picks the blonde ends up in the same one. Every. Time.

Aside from the fact that his very face is enough to piss Zoro off, what with the curly eyebrow and all, but it's the music that really gets him.

Every day the blonde stranger stands there with one earbud stuffed in his ear and another dangling from his neckline and blaring out a tinny rendition of whatever it is that the blonde happens to be listening to. What the blonde happens to be listening to is always absolute shit. The asshole listens to exclusively boy bands. Not just modern boy bands like fucking one di-fucking-rection but old school shit too, like Westlife and Boyzone.

Zoro has tried to meditate through the journey. He has tried relaxing breathing. He has tried reasoning as to why any rational human being would leave one earbud out blaring such shit music all of the time. He had first thought that perhaps the man was deaf in one ear, but no, the earbud left out changed from time to time. It always, much to Zoro's endless distain, ended up being the one closest to him. Perhaps the man has some sort of social anxiety that means he has to keep one ear on his surroundings at all time. Or perhaps he is just a MASSIVE BASTARD.

Everything about Zoro's day has gone wrong. He overslept and rushed through his morning routine but managed to just make the train and so was forced to listen to blondie's shit music, he got chewed out by his boss at work, he got coffee spilt on him by a co-worker at lunch and his sandwich was wrong. He is tired. He is pissed off. And now… now the blonde is standing less than two inches from him with a new song blasting from his earphones.

It's not even a boy band this time.

It is Robin Thicke. It is Blurred Lines.

Zoro reminds himself that murder carries an impressive prison sentence.

Despite this, he reaches out, hand trembling and then in one swift movement he attacks him. He yanks the earbuds out of the man's ears, throws them to the floor and jumps on them. The blonde just watches him.

"YOU!" Zoro yells, the whole carriage watching him with wide eyes.

"Have the WORST music taste of anyone alive! Standing near you every day makes me want to stab a rusty spoon into my eardrums just to be free of you! You don't even put both of the fucking things into your EARS! You just FORCE the rest of us to listen to your SHIT music whether we want to or not!" Zoro yells into his face, his finger an inch from the guy's nose.

The blond just blinks at him, as if Zoro isn't screaming at the top of his lungs.

"You ought to be put on some kind of list so that you can never buy earphones or any music player again! How do you even MANAGE to pick such absolute shit?!" He screams.

"Every day you come and jam yourself into my space, no matter WHERE I go on this godawful train and you force me to listen to this utter CRAP! I have had the worst day ever and I just CANNOT listen to this any MORE!" He yells, shaking the blonde by the shoulders now.

He stands there, panting, his rage almost exhausting him. The rest of the passengers in the train have started shuffling away from the two of them, as if they expect Zoro to get a gun out and start killing people at random.

The fucking blonde however does not seem in the least bit unnerved. He waits a second or two until it is clear that Zoro is done yelling for the moment.

Then he grins. It's this smug thing that pulls across his face and makes his eyes darken maliciously.

"I was wondering how long it'd take you to snap." He says smoothly.

He was… what?

"You… you're doing this deliberately?" Zoro whispers in horror. That can't be right. Sure it felt that way but he'd reasoned that he was just feeling persecuted by the other man's awful choice in music, he didn't think that he actually was being.

"Duh." The blonde laughs.

"Why?" Zoro asks in a small voice and then, "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" he screams, shaking the other man again.

"I like the face you make when you're pissed off." The smaller man says.

"Like right now." He adds, leaning into Zoro's space and actually running a finger over Zoro's scowling forehead.

Zoro's eye twitches. His body has shut down, he can't choose between snapping the other man's neck and breaking down in tears at the cruel punishment that the universe has doled out on him. Isn't he a decent man? What did he do to deserve this? What terrible crime had he committed in some other lifetime to warrant such torture?

"Did I break you? My name's Sanji by the way. I thought you would have said something weeks ago, I'm actually really impressed with your restraint." The guy… Sanji… says.

The doors to the train open with a whoosh. Zoro grabs the guy by the arm and flings him bodily from the train cart. To his surprise Sanji actually lands on his feet and turns to the train as it readies itself to pull away.

"SEE YOU TOMORROW!" The guy yells, waving at the train as it pulls away.

Zoro needs to find a different way to get to work.


	68. Chapter 68

A/N: I reblogged gifs from this cute video of a man waking up from surgery and thelaziestpuff said how great it would be to imagine this as Zoro and Sanji, so here you go. I skipped out a few bits and altered some dialogue but it was too cute to miss.

Sanji sighs as he sits by Zoro's bedside, the moss head does not look well at all. He had fought with Mihawk again, though it wasn't a real challenge kind of fight, not the 'see who's the best' kind of fight. The two of them were just squaring off to buy time, they both made it clear that it was just so that Luffy could get the rest of their scattered crew to safety. If the marines saw the two of them fighting then they knew well enough to stay clear.

Mihawk did not pull his attacks though. Or if he did then he doesn't know what it really means to do that.

Zoro now has another huge scar on his body, stretching from the top of his right thigh, just off of vertical so that it finishes slightly skewed by the right side of his ribs.

Zoro was still conscious when Luffy dragged him away, he was still conscious and bleeding when Chopper hauled him into his operating room. According to the little doctor he had to use an unprecedented amount of anesthetic to get him under for surgery and he'd been warned that Zoro would be awfully groggy when he came to.

The surgery had taken hours and hours and the poor little doctor was absolutely exhausted. He'd been forced into bed only on the condition that Sanji would watch Zoro and obey strict instructions if he woke up when Chopper was out.

"W're am I?" Zoro slurs, drunkenly looking at the room as he opens his eyes.

"You're on the Sunny, we got you back here. You've had surgery." Sanji says clearly and simply. He had been told not to overload Zoro's drugged up brain with information, just stick to the facts and make him do what he needs to.

"Here, you need to eat this." Sanji says, picking a cracker up off of the stack on the table near him. He holds it out for Zoro and the swordsman tries to take it, misses and then eventually clumsily takes it from Sanji's hand. Zoro just kind of waves it around a little and doesn't try to eat it. Sanji rolls his eyes, the man is stoned beyond measure.

"Okay, eat your cracker." Sanji urges him. Zoro nearly hits himself in the face with it but he does take a bite.

"I need some med'cine." Zoro slurs, not actually eating his cracker but just talking around it.

"Yeah, they're bringing you some now." Sanji assures him. As soon as Zoro started waking up Nami had gone to get Chopper, they probably won't be long.

"Oh... ow." Zoro hisses, his brow furrowing in pain. Sanji bites his lip, he shouldn't be feeling the cut if he's this drugged up, should he?

"OW." Zoro adds loudly. His head lolls to the side, towards Sanji.

"Can we sit up at all?" Zoro asks groggily, his hand on his waist and the damn uneaten cracker still in his mouth.

"Uh..." Sanji hesitates, Chopper didn't say anything about that but considering that his wound goes over his hips and stomach it doesn't seem like a good idea.

"In a minute. I'll ask the doctor, see if he can lift you up." Sanji hedges.

"Did the doctor send you?" Zoro asks, his voice still croaky from the tube in his throat from surgery. He waves his half eaten cracker in Sanji's direction. Sanji's not sure what to say, Zoro doesn't remember him? He supposes that he's so drugged that he probably wouldn't remember his own name if Sanji asked him to.

"Man... you are eyecandy." Zoro adds with an appreciative slur, his hand gesturing to all of Sanji.

Sanji just laughs in shock, oh boy is he ever going to hold Zoro hitting on him like his over him in the future. Zoro probably won't even remember this.

"Whoa. You're the prettiest guy I've ever seen." Zoro grins, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. Sanji starts to go red at that, Zoro's never been this overwhelmingly flirtatious with him.

He knows that Zoro loves him, he knows that Zoro loves how Sanji looks, that he holds him dear. But... he's never been so outspoken about it. Zoro is a man of quiet gestures, he feels that actions speak louder than words. Sanji's always been okay with that. Sanji can be effusive and flirtatious with women but when it comes to guys he just clams up too so the pair of them are pretty reserved. So to see Zoro so different is, jarring but kind of embarrassing too. He thinks that he can just about ignore that when Zoro speaks again, looking at him with stunned and hazy eyes.

"Are you a model?" Zoro asks him. Okay, Sanji is now tomato red. Does Zoro think that he's some kind of magazine perfect looking guy all the time and just never says anything? He can't- oh god.

"N-no," he manages, "I'm gonna be right here with you just- just eat your cracker."

"Who are you? What's your name?" Zoro asks, waving his hand close to Sanji. Oh boy, Zoro really doesn't remember him. Okay, he should answer him.

"My name's Sanji. I'm your husband." He answers. It happened a few years ago, it was all a stupid story filled with the two of them getting their wires crossed before eventually settling down to what Sanji will quietly admit is the best thing that's ever happened to him. It still seems to formal to say that he's his husband, he can accept that they're married, he loves it of course, but the word husband just sounds so official and important.

Zoro's eyebrows shoot up in shock and he gasps in, Sanji is almost worried that he's gonna choke on that cracker that he's still not finished chewing yet.

"You're MY husband?" Zoro croaks in surprise, his hand pressing to his own chest as if he can't believe that Sanji means him. Sanji can't help but laugh, Zoro looks so honestly disbelieving.

"Yeah." Sanji laughs softly.

"Holy SHIT." Zoro exclaims and rests his head back on the pillow, taking another bite of his cracker and grinning in glee.

"DAMN." Zoro says in an appreciative and slightly awed tone of voice. Sanji is trying to contain his laughter but it's slipping out in small irrepressible giggles now. This is beyond being funny, this is hilarious and adorable. Zoro doesn't know who he is and he's flirting with him in the most bizarrely non-Zoro way possible.

"How long?" Zoro asks him in amazement.

"Ahahaha, just eat the cracker, you're waking up." Sanji laughs. He is supposed to be ensuring that Zoro does what he should, no matter how sweet this is.

"Oh man... man... have we kissed yet?" Zoro asks in drunken awe. Sanji suspects that if he was to say no then Zoro would leap at the chance, half chewed cracker or not. Zoro is so out of it though, he can buy that they're married but wonders if they've kissed?

"Keep eating your cracker." Sanji laughs gently.

"Oh, it's hard, baby. Baby it's hard." Zoro whines, taking another bite and wincing. He must be a little queasy, that's something Chopper warned him of. Sanji should be worrying about that but part of him is desperate to turn Zoro's statement into innuendo. Zoro frowns and opens his eyes.

"Do we call each other baby?" Zoro asks, as if realizing that he might have said something wrong. Sanji can't help but laugh, they don't call each other that, not ever. In the future though Sanji absolutely is going to, if only to tease Zoro. Wow, the swordsman is never going to live this down.

"H-how long have we been married?" Zoro asks him, reaching out and touching Sanji's shoulder.

"A long time." Sanji smiles at him. Officially it's only been a few years but... well, he's known Zoro for far longer and it feels like he's never not been with him. It's a strange warping of time via emotion.

"Oh my god, I hit the jackpot!" Zoro says in gleeful drunkenness, raising his arms in triumph. Sanji laughs and covers his face in embarrassment, this is too much!

"Eat your cracker." He insists, shoving Zoro's arm with one hand as he covers his face with the other.

"Most beautiful guy I've ever seen..." Zoro mumbles quietly as Sanji tries not to melt into the floor.

"Hey, let me see your face." Zoro says, leaning over and tugging at Sanji's wrists. He takes his other hand and brushes the hair out of Sanji's eyes. Sanji goes with it, not wanting to strain Zoro's stitches. Part of him expects a jibe about his eyebrows because this is Zoro after all.

He watches Zoro's face light up like a kid at christmas, no trace of teasing anywhere in there. Sanji beams. He knew that this was inside of Zoro, that love and appreciation, but seeing it right out at the front it's so bright that it's almost blinding, like the heart of a star. He smiles and laughs because his system is too overloaded to do anything else.

"Wow... your teeth are perfect." Zoro beams at him. No teasing, no eyebrow comments, just... just Zoro.

"Hey, turn around for me." Zoro grins, waving his hand. Ah, yes, the smuttier side of Zoro is getting back online it seems. He's not going to do that though, his ass is one of the things that even sober, reserved Zoro enthuses about. Zoro spends as much time grabbing it as he can. If he gives Zoro a full 360 view now then the idiot might explode in glee or yell out highly inappropriate things. He doesn't want that, especially since he's just caught sight of Chopper and Nami standing in the doorway out of Zoro sight. He wonders how long they've been there.

"No!" Sanji laughs and then reminds Zoro yet again to eat his damn cracker.

"We're married?" Zoro demands again, he really can't seem to buy it. There's a little squeak of glee from the door, that's Nami he's sure.

"Did I get you that ring?" Zoro asks, catching Sanji's hand and thumbing at the gold band around his finger. His coordination is better now too.

"Mm-hm." Sanji nods. He remembers Zoro being suspicious for months and Sanji thinking that Zoro was doing something bad, like working up the nerve to break up with him. Sanji had tried like mad to show Zoro how much he meant to him but he still kept acting weird. It was only when Zoro eventually shoved the ring in his face in it's fancy box and mumbled the most embarrassed proposal of marriage that Sanji realized what he was up to.

"Man," Zoro croaks, looking up at Sanji, "I must have been really liking you."

"Yeah, you did. You do." Sanji nods.

"I like you too." Sanji admits softly, leaning in and stroking Zoro's soft green hair. Zoro hums happily and shuts his eyes with another soft mutter of 'damn'.

Chopper coughs and blusters his way into the room, hopping up onto the edge of Zoro's bed to check his vital signs.

"Hey, it's a tanuki in a hat!" Zoro exclaims in wonder.

"BASTARD! I'm a reindeer!" Chopper yells at him as Zoro proceeds to express the same amnesiac wonder in seeing something as odd as Chopper as he did in seeing someone as apparently attractive as Sanji.

"That was the cutest thing ever!" Nami whispers to him from the door. Sanji's face is so red that it may well never go back to it's usual colour. That's okay though, red and green are supposed to go together, right?


	69. Chapter 69

A/N: I got a request for more of the married princes AU that I did a while back and the idea tickled me enough to write this rather longer than intended chapter for it.

Sanji leans out of the balcony and watches his husband run through sword stances, practicing by attacking, parrying and defending against an imaginary opponent. It's pleasantly warm out today and Sanji is loosely dressed. Zoro however is bundled up far more than he should be for a work out. He knows that Zoro's country is warmer than Sanji's own, so he supposes that the marimo prince is having trouble adjusting. 

He watches Zoro for a few moments. It's not been as bad as he thought living with him. The two of them don't share a room yet, though he knows that eventually questions will be asked if they don't, but for now it's comfortable. The pair of them are getting to know each other at a slow pace, slowed down by Robin and Usopp's refusal to outright translate for them and instead giving them notes with the correct words in the other's language. The eventual aim is for them both to become bilingual and each of them gets a day in turn where they can speak their own language and the other has to bend to speaking that one, the next day the languages are reversed. 

Sanji decides to go down there and talk to Zoro yet no matter how hard he looks he cannot find Robin or Usopp anywhere to assist him. So when he enters the courtyard where Zoro is practicing he does so alone. Zoro pauses after a particularly fast and skilled sword strike to look at Sanji.

“Good morning.” Zoro says in his own language to Sanji. Sanji frowns a little, Zoro's language still sounds so harsh and guttural to him. Even when Zoro speaks Sanji's language he adds edges to the words where there should be none and sharp clipped syllables where the words should flow. 

“Morning.” Sanji responds with a nod. He opens his mouth to talk but realises that with no Robin or Usopp he doesn't have anyone to hand him a script. 

“Where... where Robin and Usopp?” Sanji tries, knowing that the sentence is off somehow. 

“Where are Robin and Usopp.” Zoro corrects him. Sanji nods, shit yeah, Zoro's language has lots of additional words needed to make it complete whereas Sanji's runs a lot on context, though it has far more conjugations of words than Zoro's does. 

“They're out at the-” Zoro says and then his sentence goes somewhere where Sanji has no idea what he's saying.

“What?” Sanji asks. Zoro repeats himself but it's still nonsense to Sanji. Shit, he doesn't know these words. 

“The one outside shopping place for shopping.” Zoro says unevenly in Sanji's language, again adding in words that he doesn't need. 

“Ohhh, the market.” Sanji groans, picking out the word in Zoro's language. He did know that but he hasn't used the word in over a week and now it's apparently fallen out of his head. 

Zoro corrects his pronunciation for a moment but the other man smiles when Sanji gets it. Just seeing it makes Sanji smile back. Zoro's so harsh looking, so serious and sharp that Sanji often forgets just how gentle his smile really is when he does it. 

“So... just... us.” Sanji says, gesturing between them.

“Yes, we're alone.” the prince answers with a nod. Sanji nods as well rather dumbly. He's not sure that he and Zoro have ever talked this long without Robin and Usopp. Most of their conversations so far have been practical, asking for things or the basics of conversation like being forced to discuss the weather, which is boring because Zoro always complains that it's too damn cold. He should really try to talk to Zoro about more than that though, limited though his language skills are. 

“You're training. You train... big, no uh... lots.” Sanji corrects himself quickly. 

“I have to. It's good for the-” And then Zoro goes off again into words that Sanji doesn't know. 

“Good for your what?” the blonde asks in confusion. Zoro repeats but Sanji still shakes his head. 

“For... indoors in... in here.” Zoro says, trying to clarify in Sanji's language now rather than his own. Zoro reaches over and taps Sanji in the middle of his chest. 

“For your heart?” Sanji guesses with a frown. Zoro gives him a look of confusion so Sanji holds his hand over his heart and mimics the sound of a heartbeat. 

“Oh. No. Not that.” Zoro says in his own language. He frowns and switches to Sanji's again.

“It's your breath after you... after your...” Zoro trails off, snapping his fingers as he searches for the word before giving up and sliding a finger across his throat like getting his throat slit. 

“Your breath after... after death? Oh! Your soul. Training is good for your soul. Huh... breath after death, that's actually a pretty poetic way of putting it Zoro.” Sanji muses. He didn't know that Zoro thought about things in that kind of way. 

“Yes, your soul. But... you fight too. It's not just us.” Zoro insists, gesturing to Sanji. 

“Yes. But we... not the same. Not like you.” Sanji explains. For his people fighting is a valuable skill, their army is strong after all, but... they're not a warrior culture like Zoro's. Fighting is for a purpose, not a way of life. 

He looks at Zoro for a few long moments. The man is strong and sturdy, muscled and exotic in a way that Sanji has to admit he finds attractive. Who Zoro is must be honed by his culture though, and Sanji should be adopting Zoro's culture at least a little. It's his culture too now after all. Plus it might be a way for the two of them to become a little closer. 

“Let me train with you.” Sanji says, a perfect sentence in Zoro's language and one that he managed to make all by himself. He's never heard that sentence before and yet he made it all on his own. He's a little bit proud of himself. Zoro looks surprised for a second before he grins, both pleased and challenging. 

“You want to fight for fun? You're on.” Zoro grins, unsheathing a third sword and putting it between his teeth. 

“On what?” Sanji blinks in confusion. 

“Let's do it.” Zoro rephrases. Oh, it must be an idiom of some kind. 

Still, Zoro's agreed to sparring with him. Sanji beams and throws his light jacket onto a bench and squares off against Zoro, the other man's armed stance against Sanji's unarmed fighting style. He half expects Zoro to mock him for being unarmed or to suggest that it's not fair to fight an unarmed man, but Zoro doesn't belittle him like that. 

The two of them move around each other, shifting stances to defend and create the best opening for themselves. It takes almost a minute for one of them to attack but it's Sanji who makes the move. He flicks out a fast kick that Zoro catches with his blades, repelling Sanji with force that makes Sanji have to actually work to maintain his balance. He grins, alright, Zoro is good at this. 

Zoro attacks, his movements graceful and surprisingly light footed for such a tall and broad man. His strikes are strong but Sanji is flexible enough to dance out of their way and exploit Zoro's weaknesses. Zoro is fast though. Really fast. Zoro cuts into Sanji's shirt and gets him in the ribs with the back of a different blade before too long. Sanji gets a few strong hits into Zoro that will surely leave the other man with bruises. 

Their round breaks up into several fights with the two of them having rather scattered and mistranslated conversations between, where the two of them have to keep switching languages in an effort to explain words that they don't know. After the third round Zoro is catching his breath and staring at Sanji. 

“You're so-” Zoro says but the last word Sanji doesn't understand.

“Sorry? I don't know that word.” he apologies. 

Zoro shakes his head and sheathes his swords. He comes close to Sanji and gestures for Sanji to stand on one foot by doing it himself. The blonde is confused but he goes along with it. Zoro bends down and wraps his hand around the back of Sanji's ankle. Sanji is halfway into thinking that this is some strange foreign custom when Zoro starts to pull Sanji's leg up, keeping it straight the whole time until Sanji's leg is at a 90 degree angle to his body, right out in front of him. Zoro pauses and pokes Sanji in the shoulder to no effect. Zoro smiles slightly and then continues pushing Sanji's heel up, watching the blonde carefully. It occurs to Sanji that Zoro is testing how flexible he is. 

“Oh! Like this?” Sanji says, catching on and straightening his leg right up above his head in a perfect vertical split. Zoro's smile cracks open, brightening his whole face up and making him look handsome all over again. Zoro stares at him in wonder and shoves softly at Sanji a few times, testing his balance but of course Sanji is as stable as a rock. Zoro murmurs a few things in his own language, more to himself than to Sanji, but the tone of awe in his voice makes the blonde flush red. 

If they're comparing their strengths then Sanji has something that he wants to see. He returns to standing normally and then carefully reaches for Zoro's swords. The other prince gets the idea and removes them from his belt, handing all but the white one over to him. One of the swords is unbelievably heavy, Sanji has no idea how Zoro is able to hold it for so long or move it so fast. No wonder his strikes are that powerful. The other one feels light and mysteriously warm to the touch. He goes to unsheathe it to inspect the blade but Zoro stops him with a worried look, he shakes his head and says something that Sanji doesn't understand. 

“They're beautiful, thank you.” Sanji says softly in his own language as he hands them back. 

“We're back, I hope you two weren't fighting.” Robin says in Zoro's language as she and Usopp walk into the courtyard with shopping in their arms. Sanji finds himself surprised, he didn't think that the two of them had been sparring and talking for so long, time must have really got away from him. 

“Oh, Robin. I need-” Zoro starts and dashes to Robin. He breaks out in a quick and quiet native burst of his own language, his words more complex than those that he uses with Sanji. He can only catch a few words of what Zoro is saying but Robin's expression seems surprised, as does Usopp's. 

“Usopp, what's he saying?” Sanji asks quietly, walking to his friend for clarification. 

“Uh... well. Zoro's asking Robin to translate something into our language for him, he wants to tell you something but... well Robin and Zoro are debating on whether or not it'd offend you. You know Zoro's people are very... abrupt and blunt with their words. Zoro's suddenly started getting worried that what he wanted to say won't go down well. I don't think... hold on.” Usopp says and shakes his head before switching into Zoro's language. 

“He won't be. It's fine.” Usopp reassures Zoro in his own language. 

Robin smiles coyly and writes something down on paper for Zoro, it seems to be a lot. As Zoro tells her what to write Sanji can catch the occasional word, though Zoro isn't trying to be loud or clear enough for Sanji to hear. 

“We'll be inside, I'll let you talk.” Robin says with a smile and she and Usopp disappear with Usopp shooting Sanji a lingering curious glance, as if he doesn't want to leave and would rather watch this play out. 

Zoro frowns in concentration at the paper and walks up to Sanji, his mouth silently moving along with a few words. Sanji waits in burning curiosity and has half a mind to snatch the paper out of Zoro's hands to read it himself. Zoro starts to speak in Sanji's native language, his words a little uneven but sounding entirely sincere.

“Sanji. You're an excellent warrior, I like the challenge and we should do this again.” Zoro says, making Sanji grin. 

“You should teach me to be as flexible and balanced as you are. Maybe I can teach you how to be stronger in return.” Zoro continues. Sanji laughs and rolls his eyes a little, yeah, that's the possibly offensive straightforwardness right there.

“I am proud to-” Zoro cuts himself off and Sanji can't help but notice that the other man is going a little red. 

Zoro avoids Sanji's eyes and shoves his hands and his notes in his pocket and repeats and finishes his sentence, addressing his words to Sanji's shoes. 

“I am proud to be yours.” Zoro mumbles. Even his ears are red now.

“Oh.” Sanji breathes in shock, his heart pounding hard in his chest all of a sudden.

Zoro looks up at him warily whilst Sanji just stares in shock at him. He realises that the other man is regretting his words when he sees him tense up and turn even redder. 

“Forget.” Zoro mutters in Sanji's language and moves to get past him. 

“No! Wait.” Sanji says quickly in Zoro's language, catching his arm as Zoro goes. God, he's been rude. Zoro put a whole speech together like that and spoke it in Sanji's own tongue and he's just stared at the man without saying anything. 

“I'm honored too.” He says softly and with that Zoro relaxes in Sanji's hold.

To Sanji's surprise he means it. He doesn't really like Zoro. His grumpy personality and laziness outside of his training grate on Sanji to no end at times, but the man has honor and strength and Sanji likes and respects that. But when he sees Zoro fight he feels like he's really seeing who the other man is and despite the fact that Sanji would have never chosen Zoro for himself he can't bring himself to feel like this was a mistake or a mismatched pairing even though it's a political marriage. 

Zoro shifts uneasily after a second and Sanji starts to think that he's perhaps been holding onto the other man for too long. He realises that his assumption about Zoro's agitation was probably wrong when the other man leans in and presses the quickest and most innocent kiss to Sanji's lips before darting back into his own space. This time Zoro goes really red and he ducks his head in embarrassment.

“Goodbye.” Zoro says hastily and rushes inside, not making eye contact with Sanji, leaving the blonde alone in the courtyard. 

Sanji just stares at the door that Zoro left through. He touches his lips with his fingertips and feels butterflies explode in his stomach.


	70. Chapter 70

This guy, Sanji decides, is an asshole. He’s wearing a tight muscle tee and he keeps checking himself out in the reflection in the window, to make things worse his shirt actually says ‘sun’s out, guns out’ on it with arrows pointing to his biceps in case the joke hadn’t been understood. Whilst Sanji would disapprove of a shirt like that at the best of times this is a reasonably classy restaurant. It’s not mandatory suit and cocktail dress fancy but his date has the right look going on, nice jeans, black shoes, black shirt. Also fitting for his company is how the green haired guy paired with the waste of air on the opposite table looks like he wants to be anywhere else but where he currently is.

“Yea, so then I said to him ‘it’s not gonna suck itself’ AHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Have you decided what you want to drink?” Sanji asks, interrupting the dick bag and his fucking story.

“Anything alcoholic and strong.” The green haired guy says brightly with a look of desperation in his eyes that says ‘if you poison my drink I will WELCOME it’

“Bud light.” The douchebag says, not even looking at him and Sanji watches as the green haired guy’s eye twitches.

“Very strong, please.” The green haired guy amends.

Sanji goes off and returns with their drinks, a strong whiskey more or less straight for the green haired guy and the shit beer that always ends up being the kind of thing that jerks order for the jerk.

“Oi, I wondered where the fuck you’d gone.” The douchebag says with a scowl and Sanji arches an eyebrow at him.

“Hey you can’t just say that!” The green haired guy butts in.

“Nah, it’s cool babe I got- hey! This tastes like you watered it down, you’re trying to scam me aren’t you?” The brown gel filled haired guy says scowling at him.

“Sir, it came right from the bottle, I didn’t add anything to it. Do you know what you want to eat yet? Sanji drawls in his best ‘not impressed’ voice.

“Yea. Cheeseburger, extra cheese, extra bacon. Like, triple bacon.” The guy orders and flicks his menu at Sanji so he actually has to catch it. The green haired guy slides down in his seat and keeps the menu up over his face. The guy makes eye contact with him and mouths ‘sorry’ to him really obviously and it actually makes Sanji smirk a little bit.

“The linguine would be great, thanks.” The guy says and hands Sanji the menu instead of throwing it at him like has date did.

“Good choice, that’s actually one of my dishes.” Sanji says conversationally and to his pleasure sees the green haired guy’s face brighten in interest.

“You’re a cook too?” He asks curiously.

“Yeah, I just wait occasionally. It’ll be good though, I promise.” Sanji smiles. Okay, so he’s flirting a little but the green haired man is actually pretty hot and is clearly nothing like his date. Sanji wonders why the hell he’s dating this guy but everything about this screams first date, and if Sanji’s correct it’s gonna be the last one too.

“Oi, Zor, quit distracting the help, we were talking about me.” Douchebag interrupts, actually snapping his fingers between his date and Sanji. Sanji watches in interest as the guy’s jaw tightens and his eyes narrow.

“It’s _Zoro_ and I know.” He grits out.

“I’ll be back with your food.” Sanji says with a sympathetic wince. At least he’s not the one stuck talking to that asshole all evening.

When Sanji brings the food back the date doesn’t seem to have improved at all and the green haired guy, Zoro, is starting to look kind of glazed over as his date rambles on about his workout. His eyes snap to Sanji the moment that he comes into view and he sits up a little straighter in his seat.

“So my car’s pretty sweet, I just had the back seat refurbed, I should show you after.” The guy says lecherously. Sanji considers his interruption a mercy.

“Burger, aaaand the chicken linguine, the pesto is the house recipe.” Sanji says, setting the plates down.

“Hey, I asked for more bacon.” Douchebag says, opening his burger and prodding at it. Sanji hears Patty sniggering from the door to the kitchen, Sanji had regaled them of the news about the douchebag at the first opportunity.

“That’s as much bacon as we would add without threatening the structural integrity of your burger. Sir.” Sanji says trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice but failing.

“The what?”

“The- it won’t stay in one piece if we add more bacon.” Sanji replies dumbing it down, but the idiot still doesn’t get it and squints up at Sanji like he’s trying to pull a fast one. Zoro laughs but manages to cover it with a cough when his date looks at him.

“Enjoy your meal sir.” Sanji says flatly and walks off before more dumbass requests for bacon can be added.

Sanji watches the date from the door of the kitchen and in between helping his other customers. That Zoro guy is actually really hot in a classic greek statue kind of way, all high cheekbones and strong jaw. He’s fit too, even if he’s not wearing a ‘gun show’ sleeveless shirt Sanji can still see the way his muscles move under the shirt. Sadly though his expression is just bored and disinterested as his date talks at him more than talks with him, leaving him to only nod in the right places or make some small remark. He does seem to be paying attention to his food though and he seems to like it, either way when Sanji returns he’s not left any of it, another thing that Sanji likes to see.

As Sanji’s taking the plates away he’s not more than four paces away before he hears something that makes his blood freeze.

“Come on, let’s just go.” Douchebag whispers way too loud to be subtle.

“What?” his date asks in confusion.

“Just run out, they don’t chase ya far. C’mon.”

Oh _hell_ no. Sanji ditches his plates on the nearest unoccupied table.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? No!” Zoro snaps at him.

“Well I’m going.” Douchebag says, making eye contact with Sanji and then sprinting for the door. Sanji dashes for him but his date catches Sanji’s sleeve.

“Don’t- just don’t bother. I’ll pay. Fuckin’ asshole.” Zoro grumbles and sits back in his seat. Sanji sighs and settles himself by the guy’s table.

“How did you end up on a date with _that_?” Sanji asks and sure, he’s being rude now but Jesus fucking Christ that guy was awful.

“Set up by a friend who I have obviously done something _horrible_ to without knowing it.” Zoro hisses angrily and pulls his wallet out of his back pocket. Sanji snorts in amusement and the guy looks up to him and hell he is hotter up close when he’s not looking mortified or bored.

“How much do I owe you?” Zoro asks.

“Well, yours was thirty, his was twenty five even with the extra, extra bacon.” Sanji answers but he feels guilty doing it.

“Here, keep the rest.” The guy says handing Sanji two fifties and moving to get up. Sanji stops him though, leaving him half standing out of his seat.

“Whoa, whoa, this is way too much.” He says, looking at the guy and thinking that maybe he grabbed the wrong note in his wallet.

“He was rude as shit and tried to run out on you, I think you deserve it.” Zoro sighs wearily.

“Yeah, but you had to sit and talk to him.” Sanji reasons and that gets a small smile out of him. Fuck, he’s hotter when he smiles, Sanji wants to make him do that again.

“Tell you what, stay here, I’ll be right back, okay? Don’t go anywhere.” Sanji insists and eases the guy back into his chair, oh yeah he’s got shoulder muscles alright. Sanji backs off, grabs the abandoned plates and heads quickly into the kitchen.

He grabs two slices of his bitter dark chocolate gateau, quickly dusts it ever so with powdered sugar and adds two small mint leaves to each one.

“I’m going on break old man!” Sanji yells and shoulders his way out of the kitchen door, praying that Zoro will still be there. Thankfully he is, albeit with a puzzled expression.

“I didn’t-” he starts but Sanji cuts him off.

“On the house, come on.” Sanji says with a shake of his head and sets himself down in the chair opposite, hoping that he’s not being too forward for the guy. Zoro pauses, looking down at the dessert and then at Sanji.

“Another one of yours?” He guesses.

“Yes, actually.” Sanji answers with a grin and a flare of pride inside.

“The pasta was really good by the way.” Zoro says and picks up his fork, making Sanji glow a little more.

The noise that Zoro makes when he takes his first bite is obscene and holy shit Sanji wants to take this guy home with him, screw the last three hours of his shift that he has left. Sanji stuffs the reaction down though and eats as well.

“So what’s a cook with at least two of his own dishes on the menu doing waiting tables for assholes like that?” Zoro asks in between bites.

“Our wait staff and our cooks never get on so we’re always short-handed. My old man owns the place so I feel bad if we’re too low, plus our customers shouldn’t have to suffer because we hire a bunch of weakling waiters. I have excellent customer service though, it’s been just over a week since I kicked anyone.” Sanji brags and Zoro actually laughs, a real laugh too.

“Wow, so how come you didn’t kick my date?” he asks, still laughing.

“Well, I was trying to restrain myself.” Sanji answers with a shrug.

“Shame.” Zoro grins. Oh shit, he might as well go for it.

“Plus… I didn’t want to risk offending his hot date.” He says in what he hopes is a smooth voice.

Zoro looks at him in surprise but his expression then melts into a crooked grin and Zoro rests his chin in his palm and looks at Sanji straight on.

“I don’t think his date would have minded at all.” Zoro says slowly.

“I missed my chance then.” Sanji says feeling a little lightheaded with excitement.

“For that maybe.” Zoro nods and puts his fork down. He rummages in his coat for a second and then leans forward, catching Sanji’s hand in his own and then writing something on Sanji’s palm.

“Thanks for the dessert.” He says and then in a swish of his coat he leaves. Sanji looks down at his hand, there’s a phone number and Zoro written on there. Yes! Sanji leans back in his chair and beams at the ceiling happily. He’s got himself a date. 


	71. Chapter 71

The first time a parcel arrives at Sanji’s door he’s surprised as he doesn’t remember ordering anything. When he opens it it’s got small hard candies in with little cartoon faces on and a handwritten note in what looks to be some kind of Asian script, Sanji can’t really tell the difference between them but he thinks that it might be Japanese. He confirms it when he looks at the return to sender address. He figures that the postman made a mistake but no, the sticker on the front of the package is to his address.

Sanji doesn’t know what to do with it, he doesn’t know of any Japanese people in his building whom the door number might have got confused with and he doesn’t really have the money to ship the package back internationally. He decides to think over it for a few days but in the hectic work schedule that he has it falls out of his mind until the next week when another package arrives.

The second package has a manga book in, a comic that looks interesting enough that Sanji regrets not being able to read the words. There’s more candy, different this time though and a CD for a band. This time the candy in it is soft and clearly has an expiry date, Sanji’s surprised it was able to make it through customs as perishable food like that is often hard to send across country borders.

He has no choice. He eats the candy. It’s really good actually, gooey and sweet with strange flavours and combinations that Sanji would have never thought of and he notes them down.

He thinks of sending just a letter at first but no, this person clearly put thought into their packages and Sanji did take something not meant for him.

He wanders through his city and picks up French things, a box of chocolate truffles and a box of melon flavoured Callison as some of the mysterious sweets that he was sent were that flavour too. Maybe the person likes melon. Hesitantly he picks up a small Paris themed notepad and goes home. He packs it all into a small box and on the front page of the notepad he write, in his neatest handwriting, a note. He keeps his sentances short and simple so that google translate won’t mangle them too bad if his mystery sender doesn’t speak French.

_Hi,_

_I think that you have the wrong address. I’ve got two packages of yours already. I’m very sorry but I had to eat the soft candy, I don’t know what it’s called, it was going to go off otherwise. Here’s some French things back to say sorry. I can forward your packages on if you tell me where to send them. My email is SanjiBL@gmail.com_

_Very sorry,_

_Sanji_

Two weeks later he gets a package back and his heart drops, does that mean that his didn’t get through? Inside is more of the soft candy that Sanji ate before, but this time it’s in an obvious assortment of flavours described with pictures of what they are on the packets. Along with all of that is a hand written postcard from Okinawa.

_Sanji,_

_Thank you for writing me. The address was mistaken, but thank you for honesty. I have the right one now but this is for you._

_Thank you,_

_Zoro_

Sanji’s heart melts a little at his mystery sender, no, Zoro’s letter. He makes the candies last as long as he can and decides that he likes the grape ones the best.

Three months later a knock comes to Sanji’s door, which again surprises him as the people in his social life either have keys, call him on his phone to come out or are the type to hammer on his door like the place is on fire. No one just knocks politely like that.

He gets up and opens the door and on the other side is a green haired guy, slightly taller than him maybe but if so there’s not much in it. He’s Japanese Sanji notes distantly with tan smooth skin with perfect cheekbones and ok, yeah, he’s hot. Sanji tries to say something but his brain comes up with an error. 404, brain not found, temporarily missing due to hot guy.

“Sanji?” The guy says, slightly mispronouncing Sanji’s name.

Two and two come together in Sanji’s head to make for and-

“Zoro!” Sanji blurts out in amazement.

“Are you at the wrong place again?” Sanji asks and the confusion on the guy’s face is clear. He looks down and Sanji sees that he has something written on a bit of paper in his hand but it doesn’t look like Sanji’s address.

“I- my French isn’t… I looked it up online.” Zoro says, mangling the words with a wince. The guy hisses in frustration and runs his hand through his messy green hair, Sanji stares at it for a moment, it is very green.

“Fuck, do you speak English?” The guy asks, switching languages.

“I do, I have to for work.” Sanji answers back.

“Oh thank God. I can do English.” Zoro says with a relieved sigh.

“I wanted to say sorry for sending you those things by mistake. It must have been weird.” Zoro continues, looking a little awkward.

“No, I’m sorry they ended up here instead of to… to whoever you wanted them to go to. I still have them here if you want them, I can-” Sanji starts, looking over his shoulder to the bookcase where he had put the packages.

“No, it’s fine. You keep them. I sent more to my sister when I got your message. I wanted to thank you was all.” The man says warmly and Sanji is struck by another regretful wave of how attractive the other man is.

“But you already thanked me… your postcard and the candy. I really liked it by the way, the grape one was amazing.” Sanji babbles a little nervously, aware that he’s probably coming off as an idiot now. The guy just smiles brilliantly and Sanji’s knees go weak, he’s always been a sucker for pretty people, women usually but the occasional guy like this just… well, it’s just as bad. All of his braincells fly out the window and he turns to jelly inside and flirts far more than he should and usually not very well.

“I’m glad you liked it, I really liked the melon things you sent me. It was sweet.” Zoro replies brightly and Sanji doesn’t know if Zoro means the candies or him but knows which one he hopes it is.

“Oh, uh… since I’m here… could you tell me where this is? I think it’s nearby but I don’t know which way.” the man asks, pulling another note out of his pocket and handing it to Sanji. Sanji reads it and raises his eyebrow.

“Nearby? No, this is on the other side of the city. You’d have to get the metro down the road and change at least twice to get there.” Sanji says and again the hopeless confusion reappears on Zoro’s face. Sanji grits his teeth and hopes this works.

“I could… take you there, if you’d like?” He offers hopefully.

“Are you sure? That would be great.” Zoro answers brightly and Sanji’s stomach fills with butterflies. He gets his coat faster than he ever has and leads Zoro down into the street with a light heart in his chest. 


	72. Sic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: for animal abuse in this chapter

The first time that Sanji sees him he's crying in an alleyway bleeding profusely from his chest and stomach. It's the noise that pulls Sanji's attention, a sound of such utter pain that he couldn't just walk by it. He walked around the dumpster and saw him, curled in a puddle of his own blood. His head snapped up when he saw Sanji, but drooped quickly from lightheadedness. Calm, brown eyes stared at Sanji as he got closer.

 

He's a dog. A BIG fucking dog, three foot tall maybe more, but the important thing was that he was bleeding to death.  He had warily slid his hoodie over his hands, warned the thing not to bite him and scooped him up off of the ground with a yelp of pain from the dog. He'd staggered to his car with the heavy dog in his arms and deposited him in the front passenger seat, left his hoodie on him and pressed it to his chest as he drove to the vet's as fast as possible.

 

He actually knew the vet in question. Mostly in passing, she was Chopper's foster mother and despite being old and wrinkly as balls she didn't seem to know it and certainly didn't act it. She'd questioned him at first if he'd hit the dog with his car, but one look at his injuries told her right away that it was something sharp that had damn near gutted the poor thing. When Chopper told her that he didn't have a dog, that this dog wasn't his, Kureha had stopped in her tracks. She had told him in no uncertain terms that her practice could not afford to take on a case this big for free. He'd need surgery, lots of it, medication for the infection and probably some rehabilitation too. All expensive things.

 

He had offered to pay for all of it, right off of the bat and up front too.

 

And so the dog was taken into surgery, stitched back together, given antibiotics and painkillers, things to help him heal and things to stop him getting sicker.

 

Which leaves Sanji where he is now, sitting by the cage of a dog that he doesn't know and rightly isn't his problem. He shouldn't care. The dog should have just been a good Samaritan act and nothing else. He thinks as he sits down next to the cage on day three that it must be those big brown eyes. Something about them is too smart, too knowing and almost human.

 

“I brought you a toy.” he says, slipping the little stuffed duck through the bars of the cage.

 

The dog tilts its head at him and paws the stuffed duck over to himself, picks it up in his jaws, looks Sanji right in the eye and decapitates the toy.

 

“You asshole.” Sanji glowers at him.

 

“And, for the record, you look really fucking dumb in that cone.” Sanji mocks him. The dog drops the duck’s head and reaches out his paw and squishes it under it with a look of 'hah!' on his face. Jerk.

 

“You know what he is, don't you?” Kureha says, crouching down next to him. Sanji refrains from saying that what he is is an asshole and instead he answers the question that she’s asking.

 

“I looked some pictures up online, he looks like a doberman. He's got the black and orange coat, and the eyebrows too.” Sanji says, looking at the dog who slowly raises one of the said eyebrow at him.

 

“I think that I'm going to call him Zoro. That scar on his chest, he's got others, they almost look like a Z, don't you think? Zoro fits.” Sanji says thoughtfully. Kureha rolls her eyes and doesn’t comment on that. Sanji thinks that it’s a cool name at least, just like the swordsman in the movies.

 

“I don't think he's a pure doberman, there's some great dane in there too, has to be with that height and the way that his body is built. They're very similar breeds anyway, but I think he's a cross of them and maybe a few others mixed in. He's a real mutt.” She comments.

 

“A special recipe, huh?” Sanji grins at the dog, at Zoro.

 

Zoro wags his tail and sticks his tongue through the bar. Sanji pokes it and Zoro shoves it out further and licks as much of Sanji's hand as he can.

 

“Oh, ick.” Sanji grumbles and Zoro looks pleased with himself.

 

“That wasn't what I meant about what he is though.” the old woman says.

 

“He's a fighting dog, I'm sure of it. That gash in his chest, that wasn't metal or a knife, that was another dog's claws. He's covered in scars, old scratches and bite marks. Someone put him in a dog fighting pit and made him fight for his life, for a good few years by my guess.” she says quietly.

 

“Oh Zoro, no.” he says in horror, looking at Zoro. The dog whines and puts his head on the floor, like he can understand just what they're saying.

 

“Dogs that have been used for dog fights are destroyed by animal control.” She continues.

 

“Destroyed? What do you mean-” he starts to ask but Kureha makes a gun shape with her hands and fires an imaginary bullet into her head. Someone would take Zoro and shoot him right between the eyes.

 

“They're dangerous. They're violent and unpredictable. It's not their fault of course, they've been bred for it, trained from day one and punished if they don't attack. I'm under a legal obligation to report any dog that I know has been a pit dog like him.” Kureha explains.

 

“But- but no! He's not, he never even growled at me when I picked him up and he was hurt then! Look at him, he's a good dog!” He pleads, looking from her to Zoro who is currently staring at him wide eyed.

 

“Let me make myself clear Sanji, the _only_ reason that we are having this conversation is because of how he is. He didn't hurt you and he's been as gentle as a lamb with Chopper, with me and all of my staff, no matter how much pain he's in. If he hadn't been I would have reported him already.” She says sharply.

 

“Thank you, he's not dangerous, I can just tell it.” he insists, looking into Zoro's smart face and clever, understanding eyes.

 

“Sanji, Chopper says that you've never had a dog before. Dogs like Zoro, his breed, they're a lot of work even for an experienced dog owner. Add his history into that and you could have an unmanageable situation. He's gentle and calm now, but something could set him off and someone or another dog could be hurt or killed. If you're not capable or willing to go through that challenge then you have to tell me, it'd be kinder to let him put him down. If things get rough you can't just turn him over to a shelter or abandon him, he's your problem for life.” She says sternly.

 

“I won't let him down.” Sanji swears.

 

“Ugh, I must be crazy risking my neck like this, but okay. He's yours.” She sighs, getting to her feet and walking off.

 

Sanji turns back to the cage and grins at Zoro.

 

“Looks like you're stuck with me Zoro.” he says to him. Zoro rolls his eyes and rests his head on his paws.

 

 

Sanji spends every hour that he's not working or asleep at the vet's clinic next to Zoro’s cage, reading up on dog behavior guides, dog training manuals. He buys food, a bed, a collar and a lead. He gets a bunch of toys and plans routes to walk Zoro on. He's going to be ready for this.

 

Zoro recovers insanely fast. The first time that he's allowed out of his cage for any length of time and let out into the small field he sprints around like a crazy thing, giving no heed to his stitches or any other injury. When Sanji throws him a ball Zoro leaps into the air and catches it rather than chase the thing and, to everyone's surprise, when Sanji calls him to bring it back Zoro actually trots towards him with it in his mouth.

 

Zoro stops a foot away, the tennis ball in his mouth and stares at Sanji.

 

“Come on, Zoro, give it.” Sanji says, holding his hand out for the ball.

 

Zoro slowly moves forward, but just when he's close enough and Sanji reaches out for it Zoro runs away as fast as he can. He stops and turns around, watching Sanji again. Confused, the cook walks closer to Zoro. The dog lets him get closer and closer and then he too walks to Sanji, but once more when he's in range of taking the ball Zoro rushes off.

 

“Is he screwing with me?” Sanji asks, looking at Chopper.

 

“Maybe he's nervous about having you that close to his face?” Chopper suggests, though he sounds equally unsure. Sanji is pretty sure that isn't it the case, Zoro has let him scratch his muzzle before and he's licked Sanji's fingers enough times.

 

He heads closer to Zoro again, and this time Zoro comes right up to him, moving over Sanji's open hand and he's sure that he's going to give him the ball. He has a split second of awareness when Zoro jumps. Paws hit his shoulders and Sanji is tumbled to the ground with eighty kilograms of dog pressing him down. Chopper yells in alarm and rushes over, but before he can get there Zoro leans over, his face just above Sanji's. He drops the ball right on Sanji's forehead and then with a big slobbery tongue licks a huge stripe up Sanji's face and into his hair before bolting off and standing well out of reach with his tail wagging like mad.

 

“My dog is an asshole.” Sanji complains to the sky.

 

“He's playing with you!” Chopper chirps happily and Sanji sits up, wiping his face dry. Zoro bounces in place on his front legs and barks, smug little fucker.

 

“Alright,” Sanji says as he gets to his feet with the ball in his hand again, “this time, fetch and bring it the fuck back.”

 

Sanji flings the ball and Zoro chases, catches it and returns, this time making Sanji chase him around the whole field for it. Kureha and Chopper sit on the side laughing like it's the funniest thing they've ever seen.

 

Zoro is released early, but with warnings to watch out for infection and to put the cone back on his head if he shows any interest in picking at his stitches which he hadn't in his entire stay in the vets. He has an appointment two weeks later to come back to get them removed.

 

 

When Zoro gets to Sanji's apartment he seems genuinely distressed. He bolts under Sanji's bed, a space that he can only just fit under and refuses to come out until Sanji bribes him with treats. After that Zoro explores a little bit and then hides again and repeats the process until he's got Sanji's whole place mapped out. Sanji leaves him to it until he hears a terrified yip and a huge wet dog sprints past him and under Sanji's bed. It's only when Sanji hears his shower going that he realizes that Zoro got into his bathroom and pawed at the knob of the shower and accidentally drenched himself. He takes a towel off of the rack, resolving to set several aside for just Zoro's use, and heads to his bedroom.

 

“You idiot. Get out here.” He orders the stupid animal under his bed. Zoro gets out and shakes, spraying Sanji and his bedroom in a fine mist of water. Great.

 

 

Over the next two weeks Zoro develops a number of fun games. Sneak up behind Sanji and bark loudly, hide the shoes, clamber into bed and apply a cold nose to the small of Sanji's back and his absolutely favorite trick is stealing the remote to the TV and playing keep-away with it.

 

Zoro never once damages anything or shows any sign of aggression to anything but the pigeons in the park.

 

He's surprisingly obedient at certain things. He walks by Sanji's side with his lead totally slack, and follows where Sanji goes absolutely without question. He sits on command and even rolls over so that Sanji can check his belly as it heals. He'll even give Sanji his paw when asked and get onto and off of things. Though the last one is only when he feels like it, in the same way that fetch is only when he feels like not screwing with Sanji.

 

Zoro never looks happier than when Sanji tells him that he's a good dog, when he praises him for anything or when Zoro makes him laugh. Every time Sanji shows him love, affection or approval Zoro seems utterly delighted. In the quiet hours of the night when Zoro is next to him on the bed, something that Sanji completely gave up on arguing with him on, he wonders if Zoro had ever been told that he was good before. When he thinks things like that he pulls Zoro close and buries his face in the short fur of his neck. Until Zoro licks his face that is.

 

 

“So how's he doing?” Kureha asks him.

 

“He's great! He's a little shit and spends half of his time jerking me around, but I guess he's just got a sense of humor.  Zoro, up. She needs to check you out.” Sanji says, turning to Zoro and the dog immediately and gracefully leaps up onto the examination table and wags his tail.

 

“I'd been thinking about that tail you know, it's odd for fighting dogs to have a tail like his. Usually they get cropped, like they did to his ears.” Kureha says, running her fingers over Zoro's pointed ears. Zoro tilts his head and she scratches his neck, more tail wagging ensues.

 

“Maybe it was a boast, he was so good at it that he didn't need it done. You said that he lasted years before losing.” Sanji guesses.

 

“It's good they didn't do it. Whoever did his ears had no clue what they were doing. I could do a better job.” Chopper says unhappily.

 

“They don't seem to hurt him though.” Sanji replies, reaching out and squishing the tips of Zoro's pointed ears and earning himself a confused look from the guy.

 

“That's something at least.” Chopper agrees, pushing his fluffy brown hair out of his eyes.

 

Kureha peers at the injuries on Zoro's chest which have all but blended into his regrowing coat. She seems pleased with it.

 

“Come on Zoro, she needs to see your belly. Roll over.” He says and Zoro immediately rolls onto his back, showing his belly to the vet.

 

“Who's a good boy? You're a good boy.” Sanji says happily, rubbing Zoro's neck and chest enthusiastically.

 

“Even if you're a total loser you're very good, aren't you?” He laughs as Zoro's tail goes crazy. Sanji looks up when Chopper giggles.

 

“What?” Sanji asks with a frown, his hand pausing on Zoro's shoulder.

 

“You've become one of _those_ dog owners.” Chopper giggles, his eyes bright.

 

“What does that mean?” Sanji asks darkly.

 

“Completely smitten.” Kureha chuckles.

 

Zoro presses his cold nose into the inside of Sanji's wrist, clearly displeased at the lack of stroking and scratches.

 

“Okay, let's get these stitches out.” Kureha says with a pleased expression.

 

 

A week after Zoro's stitches are out Sanji has his friends over for dinner. He'd worried that Zoro might be freaked out by a lot of people his space but surprisingly he wasn't. He sniffed Franky's butt and ran in playful circles around Brook, he played tug of war with Usopp and trashed him. When he got to Luffy however he jumped up and knocked him to the floor and licked him like mad, or he started to anyway.

 

“No! BAD DOG!” Nami yells at him and moves to shove Zoro off of Luffy protectively. Zoro leaps off of Luffy as if Nami had thrown boiling water at him.

 

“BAD!” Nami repeats sharply.

 

“Nami, he was just playing.” Luffy objects, leaning up on his elbows from his sprawl on the floor. Zoro cowers behind Sanji's legs with his ears flat against his head, his tail curled between his legs and the most pitiful whine coming from his throat.

 

“He's a big dog, he could hurt-” Nami insists, moving towards Zoro. She gets one step closer to him and Zoro sprints to Sanji's bedroom in a whirl of black tail and claws on hardwood flooring.

 

“Nami, he wouldn't hurt anyone. The last person who had him was awful to him, you can't say things like that to him.” Sanji insists.

 

He heads to his bedroom, knowing full well that Zoro will be cowering under his bed. Zoro is brave, smart and fiercely loyal but Kureha was right, he has issues. He presses himself flat against the ground and looks into the darkness under his bed. He can just make out the tan of Zoro's paws and realizes that Zoro has his paws over his face and is curled up as small as he can make himself.

 

“Hey Zoro.” He calls softly, reaching under the bed. It's useless though, Zoro is right in the center of the bed and so small that Sanji couldn't reach him from any angle.

 

“She didn't mean it, you're a good boy.” He says as sweetly and calmly as he can. In truth his nerves are twanging and despite how lovely Nami is he's pissed off at her. She didn't know what she was doing but Zoro is terrified now. He can hear Chopper explaining about Zoro's background to her outside in the hallway and Nami sounds genuinely horrified and guilty, but all he's focused on right now is Zoro.

 

“Could you come here Zoro?” He asks and one of Zoro's paws moves off of his nose and Sanji sees the shine of an eye in the dark.

 

“Hey there.” Sanji smiles at him.

 

“Hm, I think I've got some treats here, if only I had a dog who wasn't under the bed and I might be able to give them to him.” Sanji says a little louder, getting up onto his knees and rummaging in his bedside drawer and finding a sausage treat for Zoro. Somehow all of the rooms in his house have something for Zoro in.

 

He unwraps it and settles himself on the floor opposite the bed and waves the treat at floor level.

 

“Good dogs get treats.” He says easily, moving the treat around.

 

There's a shuffle from under the bed and a shiny nose appears in the light at the edge of the bed, then a tan muzzle and the rest of Zoro's face. He snuffles at the air and gives Sanji a pitiful look and whines.

 

“Uh-uh. You're not getting me with that, if I come over there with this you're just gonna steal it and go right back under there. I wasn't born yesterday you know.” Sanji snorts. Zoro looks a little put out at Sanji spotting his plan for what it is.

 

“Come here.” He says in a more commanding tone of voice.

 

Zoro looks torn between doing what Sanji says or not, but eventually he shuffles out from under the bed and warily walks up to Sanji, looking around nervously.

 

Sanji gets Zoro to sit with a command and a touch to his back and then he has his dog settled down next to him and happily chewing on his treat. When Sanji is sat down like this on the floor Zoro is actually taller than him, now and then Sanji forgets just how much bigger Zoro is than most other dogs.

 

“Okay, we're gonna go out there and we're gonna watch a movie and you'll try and steal my seat and probably lick my face even though I hate it. Got it?” Sanji says to Zoro who watches him with his big brown eyes.

 

“You idiot, come here.” Sanji sighs and kneels up, pulling Zoro into a hug and burying his face into Zoro's neck. He pulls back with a grimace.

 

“Oh gross, you smell like wet dog. Did you get into the shower again when I was out at work today? If you keep doing that you'll get moss growing on you, idiot.” he says in disgust. He gets to his feet and with a click of his fingers he has Zoro following him out of the room.

 

Zoro does indeed try to steal his seat whenever Sanji moves away, he rests his head on Robin's knee and looks soulfully at her until she relents and feeds him scraps off of her plate none to subtly. He'd be a moron to not notice how Zoro stays as far away from Nami and Luffy as he can. Even though Luffy tries to get close to him to pet him Zoro stays away, clearly afraid of being called a bad dog again.

 

 

It's not the only time that Zoro's behavior goes skittish. One time Sanji is running through the park with Zoro, a nice long ten mile run with Zoro at his side. He's actually got Zoro on the leash for once because the park he's through at the moment gets funny about dogs off of leashes. He'll take it off later but for now he's just got it tucked into his belt that has his water stored in pockets at the back.

 

All of a sudden Zoro bolts off away from the trail, yanking Sanji abruptly away from the walker that he was just passing. The large man stares wide eyed as Sanji is yanked along behind his possessed dog. Sanji manages to sprint at first to keep up, calling for Zoro to stop, to heel, to sit. But eventually Zoro takes too sharp a turn, still pulling Sanji along by the belt and he trips. His ankle twists as he goes down, both of his knees and shins hit the floor and Zoro drags him a good few feet before he stops.

 

Zoro jerks on his leash, still trying to pull Sanji to his feet but not dragging him anymore.

 

“Fuck, augh, get back here Zoro. What the hell is WRONG with you?!” Sanji demands and he sees Zoro flinch. Zoro is scared, no, he's terrified. His eyes are wide and Sanji can see him shaking.

 

“Hey, hey, come here.” Sanji urges, tugging gently on the leash and reeling Zoro in.

 

“You're okay, calm down.” He says through gritted teeth as he shifts off of his legs and onto his butt. His legs are bloody from knee to ankle on both legs. He doesn't know how much of it is bleeding and how much of it is ripped raw skin, but either way it hurts like fuck and they're filled with dirt and grit. Zoro whines miserably.

 

“Help me up, we're going to Zeff's. Shit, shit, that hurts.” Sanji hisses, trying to not put too much weight on his ankle. Zoro whines and butts his head under Sanji's right hand, thankfully he didn't hit the ground with those.

 

“It's ok boy, I'm not mad. It's... that way. Come on.” Sanji urges and the two of them walk unsteadily towards Zeff's house and the Baratie.

 

When Zeff opens the door his eyes go wide in shock.

 

“What the fuck happened to you?” Zeff asks, moving aside to let them in.

 

“No idea. Something spooked the life out of Zoro and he took me for a nice long drag to get away.” Sanji winces. He fumbles for Zoro's collar and unclips his lead now that he's indoors. Zoro rushes off and jams himself under the coffee table, his ears flat.

 

Sanji showers and cleans up, bandaging the big cuts and just disinfecting the smaller ones. By the time he comes back out Zoro is sitting at Zeff's feet looking a lot calmer, though the bacon that Zeff is feeding him might have something to do with that.

 

Zoro clearly feels bad about it as he doesn't steal the remote or hide Sanji's shoes for days after that. It doesn't last too long after that, he's still Zoro after all. The next week Zoro breaks into Sanji's shower when he's still using it and gets himself thoroughly soaking and then runs off into the middle of Sanji's kitchen, forcing Sanji to grab a towel and sprint out after him.

 

“Don't you DARE shake that water off in here!” Sanji warns, closing in on Zoro with the towel. Zoro watches him with malicious amusement in his brown eyes and moves to shake himself off. Sanji leaps for him and wraps the towel around him and roughly dries him off before he can drench everything in Sanji's kitchen and make him have to wash everything. Zoro surprisingly complies and lets Sanji dry him off. Sanji only realizes when he returns to the bathroom that he spent his last clean dry towel on drying the incredibly smug looking Zoro.

 

“You bastard.” Sanji hisses and starts drying himself off with dry washcloths and old kitchen towels. When he’s something approaching dry he kneels down on still tender knees and pushes his hands through the damp fur on Zoro’s head.

 

“You can’t keep getting wet Zoro, if you keep getting wet for fun and spending so much time damp you’ll grow moss on you and then I’ll have to change your name to mossy. You wouldn’t like that would you?” Sanji says. Zoro scowls and barks.

 

“I didn’t think so.” Sanji says smartly and gets up to go get dressed. Zoro shoves him in the back of the knee and nearly trips Sanji on his way to the bedroom, in revenge he calls Zoro mossy all day and gets glared at for it the entire time.

 

 

To make matters worse he runs into the one witness to Zoro's fuckery a week later just as he's going into work.

 

“Hey, aren't you the guy with the dog?” The man asks, looming tall over Sanji and his expression pulled wide with amusement at Sanji's expense.

 

“You mean the freaked out doberman that dragged me through the woods? Yeah that's me. He's not usually like that, I don't know what got into him.” Sanji answers, still puzzled about it himself.

 

"Oh man," the guy says, "he's strong."

 

"You bet." Sanji nods, starting to feel like the conversation is running out of steam.

 

"Hey, do you work here?" He asks, gesturing to the Baratie sign.

 

"Yeah, my old man owns it." Sanji nods.

 

"You don't take the dog here do you?" The man asks and Sanji balks in horror.

 

"As much as I'd love to have Zoro around everywhere he'd be a huge health code violation, not to mention he'd get in everyone's way!” Sanji says in shock who just laughs back at him in amusement. He walks off into work and doesn't think any more about the huge man with the missing teeth.

 

That evening Zoro seems nervous for a while as well, pacing at the windows and whining, but within half an hour of Sanji getting home he's sprawled on the sofa between Sanji's legs with his head and chest on Sanji's stomach. Sanji eats popcorn and scratches Zoro's ears and tries very hard to keep the popcorn from ending up in Zoro's mouth.

 

Zoro tends to get fed a lot of things beyond dog food and store bought treats. If Sanji has scraps left from cooking then they get snaffled up by Zoro really quickly, Zeff has a habit of bringing him large bones from work and almost everyone will sneak him food under the table. So when Sanji jogs up the stairs of his building to his apartment it's not the first time that he has a quite literal doggie bag in his hand for Zoro. It is the first time that he drops in on the floor in horror.

 

The lock is busted and the door is ajar. When he bursts into the broken in apartment it's a mess, furniture is tipped over and things are broken. He rushes around calling Zoro's name, hoping that the dog is okay and hasn't got out of the apartment and got lost. He goes to his bedroom and looks under the bed, there's no Zoro there but there are several very deep claw gouges in the wood, like Zoro had been pulled out from under there against his will. Sanji searches his home and the only thing missing is Zoro.

 

He knocks on every door in his building asking if anyone has seen him. He puts up posters and walks around calling Zoro's name, he goes to the park, to anywhere that he's ever taken Zoro, but nothing works. When he gets the building manager to check the security tapes though his blood runs cold. The man that Sanji ran into on the trail and again outside the Baratie was the one who broke into his home and stole Zoro. He watches as he hauls the struggling Zoro out of the building and into the back of a van.

 

Zoro knew him. Zoro ran from him on the trail and was afraid like Sanji had never seen him before. This man came from Zoro's past he Sanji would bet that despicable excuse for a human being was Zoro's last owner, the one who left him bleeding and dying in a back alley until Sanji had found him.

 

Salvation for him and Zoro comes from Kureha as it had before, it turns out that Kureha wasn't certain that Zoro would stay with Sanji and thought that fear might make him run back to his previous owner. That hadn't happened of course, both because Zoro loved him but the other substantial reason was that Zoro still got lost in the park that they went to several times a week. Idiot. She had put a small GPS tracker in him, apparently they did it with some animals but it wasn't standard because it was stupidly expensive. Sanji should have checked his bill more carefully, but obviously it was a good idea.

 

He gets the guy's address and drives there, he scouts the place out, but doesn't see Zoro through any of the windows. Either way he needs to bring a few of his friends back here if he wants to get in and get Zoro out again. Zoro was a fighting dog and no doubt this bastard owns a few others, a fighting dog could well turn on Sanji as easily as it would another dog, especially as a stranger in their home.

 

He goes back and gets Kureha and Luffy to agree to come with him the next day. The plan is to get Zoro out of there and then report him to the cops, leaving no trace of Zoro at all and keeping him safe. When they pull up to the rundown house the next night no one is in and they can't see anyone or any dogs through the window.

 

“Chopper, he's not here.” Kureha says into the phone sat on Sanji's dashboard on speaker mode.

 

“His chip is giving me a different address, but... it's a farm a few miles out, that's all that I can tell you. I'll send you the coordinates but...” Chopper trails off.

 

“A barn in the middle of nowhere.” Luffy repeats slowly.

 

“It's a fight.” Sanji says, feeling sick. That bastard has taken Zoro from him when Zoro was healed and happy and had decided to throw him right back into the ring.

 

He speeds to the location Chopper gave and they leave Kureha with the car idling, telling her to move if there's trouble and let them know if she has to. If they're going to dognap a fighting dog then it's likely they'll draw some attention, so they want to be able to get the hell outta dodge as soon as they can. They sneak around the edge of the barn and see dogs here and there in cages, but none of them are big enough to be even close to Zoro.

 

“He's gotta be inside.” Luffy says lowly and tugs Sanji around the edge of the barn, leaping up to a window in a gesture that shows that Luffy's understanding of subtle is minimal at best.

 

Sanji slides the window open and a voice through the loudspeaker inside the barn suddenly becomes intelligible.

 

“main fight that you've all been waiting for! The reigning champion THUNDER, undefeated for the last six months! Thunder is a breed that was _designed_ for this, a gen-u-ine PIT BULL!” The announcer yells with flair and the audience cheers and hoots.

 

“But his challenger today is the _former_ title holder in this area, back from the dead and back for MORE! Give it up for DEMON!” The announcer hollers to more noise from the audience.

 

“Demon proves that size and reach are everything, half doberman, half dane and all magic. A previous flawless win streak until his brutal defeat six months ago, to the jaws and claws of Thunder no less! That match proved that the bigger they are, the harder they fall!” he calls.

 

Sanji can't hear anything else about the grudge match, about odds, about anything. Half doberman, half dane and missing for six months, that's Zoro. He shoves his phone in Luffy's hand, tells him to call the cops and film as much as he can, he wants these assholes going to jail for this for the rest of their natural lives. With that done he drops down through the open window and makes his way through the room until he can see the pit.

 

It's a circular fighting ring penned in with sheets of thick wood and floored with bloodstained cardboard. He sees the dark haired, gap toothed man with his hand on Zoro's collar, and his name is Zoro, not Demon. Zoro's not a demon, he's a smartassed, smug, giant who wouldn't hurt anyone. He's the dog who gets Sanji out of bed for six am runs with a wet nose in the small of his back and bounces around by the door with unbridled enthusiasm for being outdoors. He curls up with Sanji's friends and plays so gently and sweetly with Chopper that it makes Sanji's heart melt. Zoro is many things, loving, annoying and hard work but a demon he is not.

 

The all white pitbull that Zoro is up against is snarling and snapping already, pulling at the collar his owner has him by. Zoro is held back by his collar too, already inside the ring, but he's not pulling at it. He's not going in for this fight at all. His eyes are fixed on the other dog but his expression is wary rather than aggressive. Sanji tries to force his way to the pit, to kick the rest of the teeth out of that sick head of that amoral sack of shit. Before he can do that however the match starts and Sanji halts in his tracks, staring in terror.

 

The white pitbull goes for Zoro in a blur of fur and aggression, but Zoro quickly dodges, circling around so that he never turns his back on the other dog. Zoro is growling like a storm, ears back and posture low as they circle each other. The crowd are chanting for the dogs to go at each other and the pit bull leaps again, Zoro shoulders him out of the air but Sanji sees the spray of blood from Zoro's shoulder and the colour change on the pit's coat. Zoro barks and snarls but still doesn't attack, it's all defense.

 

The crowd are booing and hissing at him now and chanting for the other dog. The bastard thief is furious and screams 'bad dog' at him, slamming his fist down on the wood hard and Zoro jolts, skittering away from him as far as he can and making the mistake of taking his eyes off of the other dog to stare at his ex-owner.

 

The pit bull leaps with snarling jaws and Sanji sees him bite into Zoro's ear and claw at Zoro's face. Blood sprays and Sanji screams as Zoro howls. His voice is lost in the noise of the room and he pushes, elbows and shoves his way towards the pit, towards the scum who stole back Zoro and put him in this situation.

 

Sanji gets behind him and reels back a kick as hard as he can and unleashes it against the guy's liver, he pulls back again and drives a knee in there too for good measure. The bastard falls to the ground and starts retching. Sanji clambers up onto the hay supporting the walls of the pit.

 

Zoro shakes his head, blood dripping everywhere. The pit bull lunges again but Zoro smacks him out of the air with a giant paw and slams him into the ground. Zoro surges forward, powerful jaws open and snarling and he sinks his teeth into the throat of the other dog and bites. Blood wells like a fountain and Zoro latches his teeth in and shakes, tearing and rending flesh with a mouth that had been so gentle that he'd taken tiny treats from between Sanji's fingertips without so much as brushing them with his teeth.

 

Zoro backs off, shaking his head and whining, covered in blood. Sanji feels sick.

 

“ZORO!” Sanji yells and Zoro looks up at him.

 

“COME!” He shouts and Zoro dashes for him, leaving bloody paw prints in his wake Zoro jumps the wooden ring to the pit, lands awkwardly half on it and half off and so Sanji has to haul him up. He turns and pulls Zoro close to him to see the sadist who threw him in the ring getting to his feet and a circle of his friends closing in on Sanji.

 

“I've got you Zoro, it's going to be okay. Good boy.” He says to Zoro, his hand on the green collar that he picked out for Zoro the day he got home. A man swings for Sanji and he kicks him in the face and Zoro barks fiercely and yanks on his collar, that seems to give the man pause. It lasts long enough for Luffy to fly in and deck him with a right hook.

 

“Let's GO!” Luffy yells and the two of them flee the building, him following Luffy and Zoro running alongside him, steered by Sanji's hand on his collar. Bottles fly after them and several people are chasing them but they are faster.

 

Kureha's minivan screeches up to them and the three of them hurl themselves into the back and pull off, leaving the guys in the dust.

 

Sanji's hands hover over Zoro, not knowing where to touch him, he's so slick with blood that he doesn't know what's Zoro's and what isn't. Half of his left ear is missing and there's scratches on his face.

 

“Kureha, he's hurt, he's REALLY hurt.” Sanji pleads. The vet glances over her shoulder and checks the mirror before pulling over sharply at the side of the road and scrambling from the car. Luffy rushes around and takes her place, slamming the door and starting her up again. He reaches up and punches the light switch on as Kureha grabs her back from the passenger seat.

 

She snaps on rubber gloves and gingerly takes Zoro's face in her hands. She looks at him and Sanji softly tells him over and over again how good he is, how he's safe, how it's all going to be okay.

 

“I can patch up his ear, but I can't reattach the half that he's lost, not that you have it with you anyway. He's going to lose that eye though, I can't repair that.” Kureha says slowly and gently presses sterile gauze over Zoro's damaged eye. Zoro yips in pain and Sanji holds him close.

 

Luffy brakes sharply and Sanji nearly falls out of his seat, that'll teach him to put his seatbelt on. He rolls down the window and Sanji sees the blue and red flashing lights through the glass.

 

“Garp! They're back that way, you have to stop them!” Luffy exclaims.

 

Garp, Luffy's grandfather, looks into the car and winces.

 

“Kid, you shouldn't have stopped, if I hadn't seen him then you could have just-” Garp groans, gesturing at Zoro.

 

“Go, just go. I'll see what I can do.” Garp urges, but Sanji hears someone shouting for Garp, asking what was going on and who they were.

 

Sanji doesn't have space in his head to think about it though as they speed to Kureha's practice and rush Zoro into surgery.

 

Kureha was right, Zoro's eye couldn't be saved, but everything else could be patched up and he was home first thing the next morning. If it hadn't been so late in the night when Zoro had been rushed into surgery then he could have come home the same day.

 

Seeing Zoro with a snarled up ear and a scar where his eye used to be hurts Sanji, it probably hurts him worse than it hurts Zoro. Zoro is his responsibility and he let him down. He hadn't listened to Zoro and because of it Zoro is maimed for life. No amount of scratching Zoro's belly and telling him that he's a good dog can make Sanji feel less like he failed Zoro. The only thing that he can do is to make sure that everything is going to be okay from that point out.

 

When animal control shows up at his place though, it's not so easy. There are two guys, one who either has a sleep problem or is real big on eyeliner and not so hot on washing it off. The other one is smoking a cigar and wearing obnoxiously orange sunglasses.

 

“Can I help you?” Sanji asks, looking at the two men. Zoro excitedly rushes to the door and shoves his muzzle between Sanji's leg and the door to peer out at the men, his tail banging excitedly against the wall.

 

“We're from animal control, it's about the incident with the dog fighting a month ago. May we come in?” The eyeliner guy asks.

 

“Oh, yes, of course.” Sanji nods and opens the door a little wider to let them in. Zoro stares up at them and trots after them as the two men make their way to the sofa, watching Zoro carefully.

 

“Oi, Zoro, quit being a creep and leave them alone. Sit.” Sanji huffs and Zoro leaps up onto Sanji's chair and gives him a smug look, he did do what Sanji asked after all. Sanji decides not to get into an argument with his dog with guests over.

 

“What's that for?” Sanji asks, pointing to the long stick with a loop of wire on it in the other man's hand.

 

“Emergencies.” The man answers unhelpfully.

 

“My name is Law and this is Paulie. If you could tell us everything that happened from the beginning, from the moment you had... Zoro, was it?” Law asks.

 

“Sure.” Sanji nods and fills them in. He covers how he found Zoro bleeding to death, how he got him to Kureha's and got him healthy again and took him home. He completely bypasses any suspicion that Zoro could ever have been a fighting dog before, faking complete ignorance on the subject. If they've spoken to Kureha she's most likely played them off with some story about how she couldn't be sure.

 

“Where did you think that he'd come from?” Law asks, making notes casually.

 

“Well, I knew it was somewhere bad. Even before a month ago Zoro looked like he'd been through a meat grinder. The scars on his chest are the most obvious but he's got bites and scratches, all sorts. He could have been stray, a bad kennel or a bad home. I didn't know what, but it wasn't good.

 

“So why did you take him home? He seems like a complex case.” Law points out.

 

Sanji looks at Zoro who tilts his head curiously at him and then bumps the underside of Sanji's jaw with his muzzle. Sanji runs his hands over Zoro's face, still careful of his ear, though it's probably not even sore now.

 

“I just... fell in love with him I guess. I saved him and couldn't let go. I don't regret it, he makes me happy and he's happy here too.” Sanji answers softly and Zoro nuzzles his neck. It's almost too sweet until Zoro sticks his tongue in Sanji's ear in a display of utter grossness. Blech.

 

“So then how did he end up in a dog fight?” Paulie asks abruptly, making Law sigh wearily. Sanji wonders if he's always this tactless.

 

“Well I didn't put him in it if that's what you're asking me.” Sanji snaps angrily.

 

“No, this guy, I don't even know his name. Big guy, missing teeth, black hair and beard.” Sanji starts.

 

“Teach, yes, we have him already.” Law nods.

 

“Good. I hope you send him away for life, or the cops anyway. He stole Zoro. I ran into him on a trail and Zoro freaked out and bolted for it, then I saw him again near my work and he must have followed me home one day, because not long after that I was broken into and Zoro was taken. I already sent the security tape for the building to the police.” Sanji elaborates.

 

“He took Zoro and after looking for ages I got in touch with his vet and she had GPS chipped him, or whatever she calls it, and we tracked him down to the fight. Luffy called the cops and I went in to rescue Zoro, not that I was quick enough.” Sanji says regretfully, turning to look at Zoro who looks back up at him and cocks what's left of his injured ear quizzically. Zoro doesn't understand human speech obviously, but Sanji swears that he can most of the time.

 

“Your dog was clearly raised and trained as a fighting dog, many of the people arrested attested to his long history and that he's killed many dogs, including one that night. He's a dangerous dog and I'm sorry to say that we're going to have to take him and destroy him.” Law says, getting to his feet with a sigh and tucking his notepad back in his coat.

 

Paulie stands up next to him and twists something on that noose like device in his hand to make the pole longer and suddenly Sanji understands just what it's there for. Sanji throws himself between them and Zoro, his arms wide and blocking him from them.

 

“NO! You can't!” Sanji shouts in horror.

 

“We can, and we have to.” Paulie says flatly.

 

Zoro pushes his head between Sanji’s body and his arm and looks from Sanji to his now unwanted guests.

 

“Look, there must be some kind of test that you can do! Something, anything to prove that Zoro isn’t dangerous. I’ll agree to whatever you need, just don’t kill him! He’s… he’s my best friend.” Sanji pleads, curling his arm around Zoro’s neck and chest. They can’t do this, Sanji doesn’t know what he’ll do without Zoro.

 

Law seems to consider this, one hand coming behind his head to scratch the back of his neck thoughtfully. Paulie’s eyes go wide in a way that Sanji would consider comical if the situation wasn’t so serious. He grabs Law by the shoulder, an action that Law does not seem to approve of.

 

“You can’t just be considering it because of his connection to Garp!” Paulie exclaims and Sanji thanks the heavens that Luffy got in contact with Garp and not some random police guy.

 

“I’m not.” Law says darkly to Paulie, “But he is responsible for us being able to dismantle an entire dog fighting ring.”

 

Law looks at Zoro for a second or two, his dark eyes narrowed. With an unwilling sigh the man turns around and snags Paulie’s paper and pen, turning to a blank page and writing something down.

 

“This address, 10am tomorrow. If you don’t show up we will find you, destroy your dog and have you thrown in jail. Am I clear?” Law says firmly and holds out the piece of paper. Sanji reaches out and takes the end of it but Law’s grip isn’t budging.

 

“Crystal clear, we’ll be there.” Sanji insists.

 

Law and Paulie show themselves out and leave Sanji sitting on the arm of the chair numbly. Zoro leans his head on Sanji’s knee and looks up at him with his one dark eye. He headbutts Sanji in the chest until Sanji scratches his neck. That night Sanji pulls Zoro close to him on the bed and pets his dark fur until sleep comes to him, it takes a very long time indeed.

 

 

Sanji doesn’t drive with Zoro in the car if he can help it. For one thing it’s better for Zoro to walk, a big dog like him needs exercise. The second reason is that Zoro feels the need to get his paws on everything he can, the radio especially, and if Sanji tries to turn off whatever Zoro has turned on they end up in a war over the radio button.

 

That morning though, Sanji doesn’t fight him for the radio and Zoro listens to ‘born to be wild’ and ‘hungry like the wolf’ undisturbed, despite Sanji feeling like the radio station is mocking him. He pulls up at the address and kills the engine. His hands are shaking against the steering wheel so he takes them off and turns in his seat to face Zoro. He unbuckles Zoro from the harness that would stop him getting hurt in a car crash and also stops him from leaping around the car like the little shit that he is.

 

Sanji swallows thickly. If Zoro doesn’t pass this test then he won’t be getting back in this car afterwards, he won’t be coming home with Sanji and he’ll never have to worry about anyone else stealing his remote or shoes or getting hair on everything. How is he going to cope?

 

“Zoro, you have to listen to me.” Sanji says seriously, reaching out and taking Zoro’s muzzle in his hands, rubbing the short fur there with his thumbs.

 

“You need to be good, _so_ good today. You need to be on your best behavior, no jerking me around for fun, this is serious. If they don’t think-” Sanji cuts himself off, if he doesn’t he will cry.

 

“Just, you’re a good boy, please be good. Be good.” Sanji begs, reaching out and burying his face in Zoro’s short fur and giving up his fight against tears. Zoro paws at his leg and whines. Sanji pulls back with a sniff and Zoro is looking at him intently his face concerned.

 

“Okay, come on. Let’s go.” Sanji says thickly, wiping his eyes and getting out of the car. He is about to go around to Zoro’s side when the idiot leaps out of Sanji’s door and onto the dirt road with a spray of dust. Sanji feels a smile creep onto his face. How can he stay mad at Zoro? The furry moron is just too endearing for that.

 

“Come on, let’s go find these guys.” Sanji says, walking towards the large field that the address had indicated. He should probably have Zoro on a leash but as always he walks by Sanji’s side with no command from Sanji. Maybe it’ll show them how loyal and gentle Zoro is.

 

Sanji spots the two men almost immediately and heads over to them, climbing over a fence to do so which Zoro gleefully leaps. Zoro leaps over everything without reason, the sofa, park benches, Sanji himself if he’s made the mistake of bending down for something. When he jumps Sanji he’ll often just decide to land on his back and stay there. There’s nothing like the weight of a doberman great dane cross suddenly landing on your back and barking in glee.

 

As he gets closer Sanji sees that Paulie is wearing a thick black padded bodysuit and gloves that he can barely bend his arms in. It looks like he’s going to see if Zoro will attack him.

 

“Be good.” He reminds Zoro as they walk. Zoro looks up at him and barks back.

 

“Hi.” Sanji says to Law, aware that he should be polite but he doesn’t have much more conversation for a man who wants to shoot Zoro. Zoro stands far forward enough that he smacks Sanji in the leg with every wag of his tail in a way that Sanji is sure is completely deliberate.

 

“Glad to see that you showed up. Let’s start the test.” Law says with a nod.

 

The first set of tests are all very easy, basic command things and for a change Zoro doesn’t dick him about on them. He stops, stays, comes and rolls over when Sanji tells him. Sanji even proves that Zoro will stay put when Sanji tells him even when he’s tempted with meat to move by Paulie.

 

“Okay, very good.” Law nods, marking that test off on his notepad.

 

“He listens to you but this doesn’t prove that he’s not dangerous. This next part of the test I need you to order your dog to attack Paulie here, we need to see that you mean it, dogs can pick up hesitation in your voice. If you’re not able to sound sincere then I’ll take that as proof that you know he’s dangerous and we’ll take him to be destroyed.” Law says seriously.

 

“His name is Zoro, and he’s not going to be a problem.” Sanji says firmly. He calls Zoro over and they stand about twelve feet away from Paulie who looks determined in his bite proof suit, clearly he’s certain that he’s going to get attacked.

 

“Okay, uh. I’m not sure what to say.” Sanji mutters, looking down at Zoro. He goes for the obvious and with a calming breath in he looks up at Paulie and yells.

 

“Zoro, attack!” Sanji yells, pointing at Paulie suddenly. Zoro jolts and looks in Paulie’s direction for a few seconds and then back at Sanji with a displeased look on his face, one that Sanji has seen before.

 

“No you idiot, I didn’t throw anything, I was telling you to attack him.” Sanji groans as Zoro continues glaring at him.

 

“He may well have been trained with a different word. Try ‘go’ next.” Law says idly, looking at his notepad.

 

“I don’t think that’s going to work.” Sanji frowns but Law gives him a stern and threatening look and Sanji remembers that him seeming to opt out of the test will be the same as Zoro failing.

 

“Zoro, go!” Sanji yells, pointing at Paulie again. This time Zoro explodes into movement and sprints for Paulie. The man grins in triumph and prepares for a bite but Zoro just skids to a stop at his feet and runs around Paulie with his tongue out and his tail wagging. With one completed loop of the man and a cursory sniff at his legs he returns to Sanji’s side.

 

“I tell him to go if I want him to go somewhere.” Sanji explains and doesn’t mention all of the times he tells Zoro to go anywhere but Sanji’s chair, shower or bed and Zoro completely ignores him.

 

“Fair enough. Try ‘sic’. That’s a common one.” Law says.

 

“Sic ‘em!” Sanji tries again and once more Zoro looks flatly at him and does nothing.

 

“Any others?” Sanji asks smugly, turning to Law once more. The other man taps the pen on his lip thoughtfully.

 

“Get him. That’s the last one that I can think of.” He suggests. Sanji nods, just this one left and Zoro is home free.

 

“Get him!” Sanji shouts and Zoro’s eye goes wide and he sprints off, he gets to Paulie and Sanji sees Zoro open his mouth and his blood runs cold. No, Zoro, no.

 

Zoro comes to a stop and leans in carefully, he opens his mouth and closes it on Paulie’s raised sleeve and slowly pulls him forwards, he gives two tugs but Paulie doesn’t move. Zoro lets him go and stops for a second. He barks and takes a few quick steps towards Sanji, stops and turns to Paulie. When nothing happens Zoro repeats it a few times and then Sanji gets it.

 

He struggles to repress a laugh as Zoro tries a new tactic. He goes behind Paulie and headbutts him in the back of the legs a few times, eventually settling on one leg then the other, making Paulie stumble forward and closer and closer to Sanji. When he’s just a few feet away Zoro leaves him alone, comes to Sanji’s side, looks at Paulie and back to Sanji again and barks.

 

“What…” Law says in confusion.

 

“He got him. Literally.” Sanji says in a strangled tone, trying to not laugh.

 

“He bit me!” Paulie points out.

 

“Barely! Just your sleeve to pull you towards me, you saw how careful he was, right?” Sanji insists to Law who makes a noise of agreement, though it sounds a little indecisive to Sanji’s ear.

 

“I have an idea. Paulie, attack Sanji.” Law says casually, like that’s a totally normal thing to do.

 

“What?!” Sanji demands angrily.

 

“You want me to just… punch him in the face?” Paulie asks, looking like it’s a little too good to be true. Sanji glares at him, this bastard has no people skills and right now Sanji wants to kick _him_ in the face instead.

 

“No, but grab his shirt like you’re going to. We’ll see what your calm dog does then.” Law suggests, moving backwards a little bit to give them room.

 

Zoro is still sat at Sanji’s side, watching Law with vague interest.

 

Paulie grins and rapidly closes the space between himself and Sanji grabbing a fistful of Sanji’s shirt and drawing his fist back in an earnest wind up for a punch. His fist starts moving to Sanji’s face and he realizes that Paulie actually does intend to hit him. Only he never gets to because he’s knocked away by Zoro. Zoro shoves between them and twists to shove Paulie away with his front legs.

 

Zoro falls back onto all fours and puts himself between Sanji and Paulie and barks angrily. Paulie comes closer to Sanji again and Zoro jumps up. His front paws land on Paulie’s shoulders and there’s a deep bass growl coming from Zoro’s chest. He reaches out, his teeth near the terrified Paulie’s face and before the startled Law can get to him Zoro leans in and pulls the orange sunglasses off of Paulie’s face. He leans back a little so that Paulie can see him and shatters them between his teeth and then dropping back down onto all fours between them.

 

Paulie is shaking at the strength of Zoro’s threat, and that was absolutely a threat. It was a blatant ‘if I can do that to these, think that I could do to your face’. Zoro’s ears are flat against his head and his teeth are bared in threat.

 

“He didn’t hurt him, he could have, but he didn’t.” Sanji says weakly.

 

“Oh come on, if you don’t call that aggressive behavior then I don’t know what is!” Paulie yells angrily and Zoro answers with a growl.

 

“Shh Zoro, it’s okay.” Sanji assures him and Zoro stops growling, he sits down by Sanji’s side but he’s still tense and still staring at Paulie.

 

Law looks between the two of them thoughtfully.

 

“I’ve never seen a dog make a threat like that before.” Law muses.

 

“Just because something is interesting doesn’t mean that-” Paulie rages.

 

“Do it again.” Law says after a moment, rubbing his fingers on his chin.

 

“Are you NUTS?!” Paulie yells. Law’s gaze snaps to him and narrows, just as much of a threat as Zoro shattering his sunglasses at him, only Zoro doesn’t have to power to fire Paulie from his job like Law seems to. He huffs and grits his teeth so hard that Sanji can see a muscle in his jaw flex.

 

“If you can get him to stay then he passes.” Law says firmly.

 

Sanji nods and looks at Zoro, he needs Zoro to trust him, to trust Sanji to protect himself.

 

“I’ve got this Zoro. STAY.” He insists, holding his hand out in a gesture of stop. Paulie grabs his shirt without warning and Zoro’s ears flatten again angrily.

 

“Stay.” Sanji repeats and keeps his hand out. Zoro stands his ground though he looks angry as all hell. Sanji stares Paulie down, daring him to do anything. Paulie grits his teeth and shoves Sanji back, releasing him from his hold. Zoro stays put.

 

“I think that we’re done here. But there are several conditions to this.” Law says sharply, looking at Sanji with his sharp dark eyes.

 

“Anything.” Sanji nods, he’ll agree to anything at all if Zoro stays alive. He reaches out and runs his hand over the top of Zoro’s head, soothing himself as much as his dog.

 

“You’re never to have him outside without a leash, not even letting him loose in the park.” Law starts. Sanji thinks sadly of watching Zoro chase his ball in the park, but not being able to do that is a damn sight better than being dead. He’ll just take him on more trail runs.

 

“Done.” Sanji agrees with a vigorous nod.

 

“If you lose him, if he escapes, you must call the police and he’ll be caught and destroyed. If you can’t keep control of him then he’s not safe. If you lose him and you don’t call the police then you’ll be charged with any damage that he causes to anyone or anything, even a murder or manslaughter charge. Not telling the police will land you conspiracy charges.” He warns. Sanji nods harder, he’ll never let Zoro get loose! Zoro’s never shown any interest in escaping anyway.

 

“If you agree to those conditions then, I suppose that I can let you go.” Law says holding out a hand.

 

“You have absolutely got yourself a deal, we won’t make you regret this! I’ll go put him in the car and then put him on the leash!” Sanji beams, shaking Law’s hand enthusiastically as Paulie makes horrified noises in the background. Zoro has clearly sensed Sanji’s change in mood because his tail is wagging happily.

 

“Go on, before I change my mind.” Law sighs and Sanji sprints off with Zoro hot on his heels.

 

He gets to the car and flings the door open, letting Zoro leap in before him and getting dirty pawprints on everything. Sanji couldn’t care less about that right now. He gets in the car himself and immediately wraps his arms around Zoro.

 

“You DID it! You were so good!” Sanji babbles happily. He’s crying out of joy and Zoro pulls back to look at him, understanding and empathy in his one remaining brown eye, the same look that made Sanji keep him in the first place. Zoro is so much more than just a dog to him, he’s a friend, he’s-

 

Zoro licks a huge wet stripe up Sanji’s face, derailing Sanji’s affectionate train of thought.

 

“AUGH! You- you little shit, I was having a moment there!” Sanji snaps, wiping his face off on his sleeve. Zoro barks loudly and jams his paw against the radio, suddenly blaring crappy music out at Sanji.

 

“Don’t ever change, idiot.” Sanji sniffs, shoving Zoro’s shoulder and turning on the engine.


	73. Chapter 73

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A post from awful-aus on tumblr inspired me

Sanji has never met the man who lives in the apartment next to him but he came to know him by his voice though. All of the rooms in this shitty building have thin walls and he can hear the muted sounds of music from one apartment to the side, the TV in the one above him and arguing in the one below. The guy in the right hand side to Sanji though is perfectly respectable with his noise level and Sanji hardly ever hears him.

Except in the shower.

The acoustics in the bathroom are amazing and Sanji has never been able to resist singing in them. He’s not all that great of a singer but tiled walls make everyone sound better. One day he had been partway through Bohemian Rhapsody when an answering voice filled in a line for him. Sanji had been startled for a second but then proceeded on with the other man singing his part. The two of them had increased in volume and gusto and finally finished in fits of mutual laughter.

Since then if he ever hears the man in the shower at the same time they sing together, dumb songs usually but it always makes Sanji’s day a little brighter. He’s pretty sure that his neighbor is the green haired guy with the muscles and physique that makes Sanji’s stomach burst with butterflies. He doesn’t want to introduce himself though, he likes the mystery lyrical showers, not knowing the man is half of the fun.

Only... only one day he was about to get into his shower, he could hear the soft sound of water from the other side and when Sanji had mentally settled on a song he had got into his own shower. His feet were on the cold tired floor and his hand was reaching for the dial on his shower when a noise stopped him dead. 

It was a moan, something between breathy and harsh that froze him to the spot. He backed up until he hit the wall in his shower. His mind had flashed through ideas, was the man in there alone or was he with someone? He couldn’t help but imagine the green haired man in there naked, almost as if he was in Sanji’s shower with him. His face burned but he stepped closer to their shared wall and pressed his ear against it, the tiles making the sounds clearer. 

He could hear harsh breathing and moans and gasps more desperate as they continued on, but either the green haired man had a silent partner or he was alone. Sanji’s whole body jerked when he considered the idea that maybe his neighbor had worked out who he was too, maybe he was thinking of him. 

He glanced down thoughtfully. Well, duets were their specialty.


	74. Chapter 74

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've had some AMAZING art done for this AU by yuushishio, you can check it out at the link below!
> 
> http://yuushishio.tumblr.com/post/119095510362/as-i-said-ill-return-this-cute-feeling-back-to

It would be almost funny if it wasn’t for the fact that Zoro has been making himself go back to the bar every night that he can this month. He is strategically draining the bartender’s liquor dry, hoping to get enough of a reaction out of him. The blonde bastard must think that he has an alcohol problem by now.

Zoro does not have an alcohol problem. He has a Sanji problem.

That’s the guy’s name, or, at least that’s what it says on the receipts that get printed out when he orders. He’s ordered from other people before and got different names, and he’s pretty sure that he heard another bartender call him by that.

Sanji.

He doesn’t even look like he’s from the right kind of country to have that sort of name. If anything the guy looks aggressively European. Scandinavian maybe with the pale skin, blond hair and blue eyes. It’s not that Zoro spends a lot of time thinking about this or anything. It’s just that he doesn’t have a TV ever since Luffy oh so enthusiastically threw his own wiimote through it when he brought his console around to Zoro’s house. So Zoro doesn’t have a lot to do. 

There is a bar right near his apartment, one that has some fancy modern glass wall that means that Zoro can see in right from his sofa. So even when he’s not in the bar he sees him.

That guy must own the place, or if he doesn’t then he pulls some serious overtime for how much Zoro sees him in there.

He’s not stalking him, he’s not. It’s just that when he’s in there the guy is always so smartmouthed and infuriating and it’s often only when Zoro gets home that he thinks of the perfect comeback to one of the blond’s cutting remarks. But by that point it’s far too late to go back and throw it at him. So he sits there, trying to read a book instead of staring out of the window at Sanji in the bar and failing. Instead of reading he stares vacantly and plans ways to pick an argument with the man. It’s juvenile perhaps but Sanji never looks so attractive and vibrant as he does when he’s yelling at Zoro for one thing or another.

He glances down at the bar for about the hundredth time that night, his finances and his liver don’t allow him to be in there all of the time after all. Only this time the blond is looking right back up at him. He raises one curled eyebrow at Zoro. Or maybe it’s both, with that stupid haircut who can tell?

He sees Sanji chew his lip and walk off before returning to the window with the blackboard that holds the imported beers of the week on it. Zoro watches curiously as Sanji rubs at it with his sleeve and writes something new. He holds the board up to the window.

“Drink?”


	75. Chapter 75

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've got more AMAZING art for this bartender AU from yuushishio again, you can see it at her tumblr down below!
> 
> http://yuushishio.tumblr.com/post/119231109507/the-dramatic-situation-of-glass-windows-havent

Sanji cleans the glass and tries to steady his nerves.

Hell, he doesn’t even know the guy’s name, not for sure anyway. He thinks that it’s Zoro, that’s what he’s determined from the messy scrawl on his receipts when he uses his card to pay his tab. His bar has only been open for two months but Zoro has been visiting the bar more or less from the beginning.

When he showed up for the third time Sanji should have just been pleased that it seemed like he was getting a regular customer already. Instead he was pleased that he was going to see his _hot_ regular more often, because goddamn is he hot. He’s got this garish hair, a scar over one eye that keeps it shut and the set of his eyebrows makes it look like he’s scowling all of the time. He shouldn’t look good but he does. Maybe some people would be put off by his looks but it makes Sanji weak at the knees.

He’d started talking to him beyond just drink orders, he’d tried to be smooth at first but then Zoro opened his mouth and all possibilities of that went out of the window. Zoro is infinitely frustrating, he’s mouthy, sarcastic and has a way of getting Sanji’s attention no matter what. Even without saying a word Zoro can agitate him. If he tries flirting with ladies when Zoro’s around the idiot laughs when Sanji does it, ruining his smooth lines. It’s not like Sanji is really trying to get any of the ladies to come to bed with him, though he wouldn’t say no, but flirting with customers is part of the charm of his place. But when Zoro is there it just can’t be done.

He hopes that it makes Zoro jealous.

To his shame it took him two weeks to realise that his hot regular lived right across the road from Sanji’s bar. To his further shame he spends more time than he should glancing up at his window. What can he say, sometimes business is slow. He works late of course, it comes with owning a bar, so sometimes he sees Zoro late at night. Zoro apparently doesn’t own curtains because Sanji has seen him walking by the window in the sinfully lowest pair of pyjama pants that Sanji has ever seen and he’d never hated fabric so much in his life until then. His prayers to any and all deities for them to suddenly slip down has gone unanswered.

As much as he likes glancing up at Zoro when the argumentative bastard isn’t in his bar, he kind of likes the idea that Zoro is watching him even more. Maybe he’s a secret exhibitionist, but whenever Zoro is home Sanji gets an excited feeling that Zoro could be watching. He’s seen the man looking from time to time and it makes Sanji show off more than he should, acrobatically throwing bottles in the air and catching them as he makes drinks.

It’s even better when Zoro comes into the bar in person. Sanji wants to spend the whole night talking to him, arguing with him and finding out more about him other than his alcohol choices and how defined his abs are. He can’t though, there are those pesky other customers to deal with.

That’s why he has this plan tonight, he will get to know the man. If it works out of course. He’s not actually working tonight, he’s scheduled himself off. He sets his clean glass down, mixes himself a drink and shakes it. He pours it and takes a drag from his cigarette, adjusting his collar to distract himself from his nerves. All he needs to do is wait for Zoro to look at him and- oh god he’s looking now.

He had planned this smooth smirk and a come hither gesture but it all falls out of his head as they make eye contact. Zoro’s book jerks slightly and Zoro looks surprised and a little embarrassed, maybe he didn’t know that Sanji could see him watching all this time.

Shit, his plan. It’s not going to work if he stays staring at him like this. He walks off and comes back with his board, hastily wiping it clean and scrawling his message on it. With his heart thumping and his face going red he holds up the message.

“Drink?”


	76. Chapter 76

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of my BartenderAU for yuushishio on tumblr who has produced two amazing artworks for it. If you haven't seen them yet, go back to the previous chapters, I've linked them in the description. (seriously they're awesome)
> 
> The artwork for this current chapter can be found here: http://yuushishio.tumblr.com/post/119774258957/finally-i-managed-myself-to-finish-this-part

"Sanji." He says by way of greeting when he shows up outside the bar. The bartender gasps, little and quiet at hearing his own name spoken aloud and Zoro doesn't quite get it until Sanji echoes his own name back and Zoro gets a thrill of 'he knows my name' run up his spine.

"So, drinks. Somewhere else would be good." Sanji says with a nod backwards to the bar behind him.

"Yeah, I guess you spend enough time inside your own bar huh?" Zoro nods and Sanji's eyes go wide and his smile bright.

"You knew I owned it." Sanji says, though he guesses that it's more to himself than to Zoro.

"Well, yeah. I guessed you did, you spend way too much time there for someone who doesn't. So either you own the place or you're a complete loser with no friends." He says and Sanji rolls his eyes.

"Actually, maybe I shouldn't have leapt to conclusions, that second one is way more likely." Zoro teases Sanji as they walk along down the road, Sanji presumably having decided on where they're going. Zoro doesn't have anywhere else in mind that he wants to be, as long as he's there with Sanji.

"I always forget why I like you when you open your mouth." Sanji argues and shoves him in the shoulder, making Zoro stumble a little.

Sanji picks a bar, it's actually a place that does a decent amount of food and Zoro wonders if Sanji is considering turning this into a proper date rather than just drinks if things go well. The bar itself is cosy almost, with mismatched furniture and he and Sanji end up sitting side by side in a booth inside an old giant beer barrel that's almost big enough to stand straight up in. It must have weighed a tonne when it was full.

They both seem a little nervous and the conversation starts to follow a rote pattern.

"So, you know what I do, what do you do?" Sanji asks him.

"I used to race motorcycles, until-" Zoro cuts himself off. The image of his bike crash and the visor of his helmet fracturing in a one in a billion design flaw and the last time that he saw out of two eyes at once. He realizes that his hand was halfway to his eye and he scowls and snatches it away.

"Now I just work in a bookstore" He answers lamely. He sees Sanji's gaze on his scarred and missing eye and a flare of agitation rises up in him. Why had Sanji asked him out to drinks anyway?

"Does it bother you?" Sanji asks him suddenly and all of Zoro's internal angst about his injury redirects instantly at Sanji. How fucking DARE he?

"What?" He grits out angrily.

"Sorry, it's just- my old man... he lost his leg. Well, he didn't lose it, he had to have it cut off. He said that it always bothered him afterwards. Not hurting as such but just it not being there felt wrong to him, like he could still feel it almost. That's what he always used to say, that it bothered him." Sanji explains, looking down at his wineglass and fidgeting with the stem of it.

"Geez, I'm sorry, A first date and I bust out a question like that, what's wrong with me?" Sanji mutters, flustered.

"I guess it does. It'd feel better if people didn't stare at me for it though." He grumbles, he's had enough kids gawp at him and ask him what happened. He might still be a little bitter about the whole thing, he'd worked so hard to be the best racer and he had been gunning for the title when some stupid crash ended it all.

"It's not why I spend so much time staring at you." Sanji says softly and his hand comes to Zoro cheek, his thumb stroking along Zoro's cheekbone, not quite over his scar, but almost. Zoro's heart hammers, and he looks at the other man who is rapidly turning red and moves to take his hand back, clearly thinking that he's made a mistake.

Zoro catches it and keeps it there and, taking as much of a risk as Sanji had, leans in and kisses the other man. Sanji gasps into it and then sighs happily, his fingers shifting between Zoro's and against his face.

They pulls apart and Zoro looks at him for a while, he spends an awful lot of time looking at Sanji, but up close and right now it feels very different. It feels better.


	77. Chapter 77

Sanji's not a pervert, he's not. Okay, he kind of is but this isn't really deliberate. It's not his fault that the guy in the building opposite to him doesn't remember that he has curtains. They guy opposite is hot, seriously hot. Sanji doesn't consider himself unfit or unattractive by any means, he's got that lean underwear model kind of look going on for himself. But this guy, oh this guy... he's Greek God levels of hot. Sanji just wants to get his hands on all of him.

Only hot green haired guy has a boyfriend.

A good looking boyfriend too.

Sometimes the guy forgets to use his curtains when he has sex with his boyfriend. Sanji can't help but see and with his neighbour looking like that then he can't stop himself from watching helplessly behind his own curtains in guilty obsession. Greek God body guy is clearly fucking awesome in bed, aside from his stamina (hot damn) he absolutely always gets his boyfriend off before him. He's touchy and his hands roam all over his boyfriend in ways that make Sanji desperately imagine those hands on him.

It's not just the sex that Sanji is jealous of. He sees the guy with his friends and he melts at his smile and how happy he makes them. He's seen him singing and bouncing along to his music in a way that he's sure he wouldn't do with people around. He's... sweet.

Sanji is painfully single and hot neighbour is blatantly not.

One night though Greek God body guy is throwing a party, he's got his friends around his house and then some, his boyfriend is there too of course and everyone is having a great time by the looks of things. If Sanji leaves his window ajar he can even hear the faint strains of music through the guy's windows. Sanji curls up with a book and tries to pretend that he's not envious of any of the man's guests for being there when he's not. It’s a blatant lie of course, he’d love to be there.

He's been glancing up now and then from his book, but when he catches sight of what's going on he can't tear his eyes away. The boyfriend is getting kissed like crazy and his clothes are coming off fast as he's shoved onto hot neighbour's bed. Hot neighbour is in an entirely different room though, someone else is screwing his boyfriend in his bed.

Sanji is torn between an angry hiss at the boyfriend, after all how dare he cheat when he has someone as perfect as his boyfriend? On the other hand he's hurting on his neighbour's behalf and part of him doesn't want the guy to have to see that. He can't stop it when hot neighbour guy clearly goes looking for his boyfriend and opens his bedroom door, right as his boyfriend and the other guy are in the middle of fucking.

He doesn't get to see his neighbour's face, or hear what he says, but his party guests sure notice. The other guests all pause one by one and glance in the direction of the bedroom, clearly the yelling can be heard. Sanji sees as the boyfriend and the guy who was boning him scramble for their clothes. He sees them arguing and then the boyfriend, hopefully ex boyfriend now, leaves with a slam of the door.

His heart breaks for him as he sees the guy break down in his bedroom, dropping down onto the edge of his bed and shoving his face in his hands. Sanji can see him crying from the way that his shoulders shake. A few of the guests awkwardly leave but one or two of his friends come in to find him and put their arms around him comfortingly.

Over the next two weeks Sanji watches as his neighbour clearly grieves his breakup. He sees him sat in his living room with his knees tucked up to his chest while he looks at the TV disinterestedly and rubs at his eyes frequently. He sees his friends come around and try to coax him into going out, sometimes they win but sometimes they don't. Other times they stay in with him and keep him company.

Sanji feels really bad for him but on a more selfish note he can't help but feel hopeful, he really REALLY wants to ask the guy out. Maybe he can take the guy's mind off of his old boyfriend, maybe he can help him move on, maybe he can get the guy to make him feel as good as he made his ex feel in bed. That last one might be a little selfish.

He wants to know who he is though, he wants to talk to him and find out more about him aside from how good he is in bed and how he dances in his pyjamas. It's not like he can just go over there and knock on his door and make that kind of offer is it? Even if he could it's completely tactless.

Sanji resigns himself to wishful thinking and fantasies right up until the guy literally knocks him off of his feet. Which is to say that they both round the corner by Sanji's building at the same time, his neighbour going a little faster than him and knocking Sanji ungracefully to the floor. He can't believe it, this is the kind of cliche stuff in movies, not a thing that happens to people in real life. But there hot neighbour guy is, leaning over him in the person, asking him if he's okay and apologising.

"I-uh... I'm fine." He forces himself to say, trying and failing not to remember what the guy looks like naked.

"You're bleeding, right there." The man says, touching Sanji’s cheek near what Sanji had thought was just a scrape on his cheek from hitting the ground but actually seems to be a cut that's leaking blood. Sanji’s heart races.

"It's... it's okay." Sanji hisses, the pain kicking in now that he knows the injury is there. Damn that stings.

"Hey, I just live right up there, I can look at if for you if... uh... if that's not too weird." He offers, suddenly looking awkward. Oh god, he looks ever hotter when he feels awkward. How is that fair?

The guy's offer catches up to Sanji's brain all in one. He's offering to help him. He's offering to take him up to his apartment! Holy shit!

"If... if you're okay with that." Sanji says hesitantly. Really his own place is closer and he should say that but it's too tempting to let his hot neighbour take the lead here.

"Yeah, it's my fault anyway. Come on, I'm Zoro by the way." He introduces himself as he helps Sanji to his feet and pulls him in the right direction.

"Sanji." He replies.

The guy's name is Zoro. Maybe he can actually go somewhere with this, movie cliche or not. He steps into the elevator and his hopes rise just as fast as it does, the embarrassed smile that Zoro shoots him only speeding it up.


	78. Chapter 78

Maybe it is true what they say, when you lose a sense all of the others heighten. It's a little quick for that though, they've only been in here thirty seconds.

"I never thought we'd get to this age and our friends would insist on playing this stupid game." Sanji says with a sigh.

"Yeah, seven minutes in heaven? What are we, thirteen?" Zoro snickers in return.

"They did drop it down to three minutes because Luffy has no attention span." Sanji points out calmly.

"Yeah, if you left Luffy in here for that long he'd probably try to eat a coat." Zoro laughs.

"So, we've gotta kiss or something in here then?" Sanji asks with a shrug that Zoro can't see because of how dark it is.

"I'd rather kiss you than 'or something' in here." Zoro laughs brightly and Sanji elbows him in the side.

"Fine, I'll kiss you then." he groans. If he lets Zoro know that he finds some of his humour funny then the idiot will never stop.

"Still, either of us could have been in here with Brook or Franky. So this isn't so bad." Zoro says thoughtfully.

"Zoro, don't flatter me. I'll swoon." he replies back to his idiot friend. There's more snickering from Zoro's half of the small dark space.

"Okay, come on, get over here." Sanji says turning to face where he thinks Zoro is and putting his hands out. His right hand lands on Zoro's shoulder and he manages to find the other one easily after that. He moves to try to cup Zoro’s face with his hand but Zoro jerks back.

"Watch it! I've only got the one working eye left and you nearly jammed your thumb in it!" Zoro barks.

"Quit whining, you could help you know." he argues back.

Zoro does help, his hands come to Sanji’s sides he pulls Sanji closer by the waist until they're chest to chest. Now with Sanji's hand on the other man's jaw he can easily find his way, less distance to screw up.

He licks his lips out of thoughtless habit. Zoro's just his friend and they have been for years but if he's going to have to kiss him for some stupid dare then he's gonna do it right.

He leans in, his nose bumping against Zoro's ever so slightly before he turns his head just so and presses his lips to Zoro's. It's a simple press of lips first, one that Zoro returns. It's the kind of kiss you'd give someone when you were a little kid. When Zoro reciprocates it becomes far more than that. Their mouths move together like they had been made for each other, a perfect rhythm that comes perfectly naturally.

He's not really sure which of them used their tongue first but Sanji feels like he's been struck by lightning when it happens. He sighs into it and Zoro's hands on his sides move slowly, his thumbs rubbing soft circles into Sanji's sides.

His mind flashes over years of being Zoro's friend, how competitive they are but how they can be completely at ease when they want to. Despite their aggressive push-pull relationship he knows that Zoro has his back completely and Sanji knows him better than he does a lot of their friends. This kiss feels... it feels right. It feels like it was meant to happen and like it's been where this was headed the whole time.

His heart seizes and Zoro turns the kiss soft, barely there before he pulls away. Both of them are slightly breathless in the dark and Zoro's hands are still on his sides. He tries desperately to think of something to say or to weigh up what would happen if he kissed Zoro again.

The door cracks open instead, saving Sanji the dilemma. Nami peers around the edge, her catlike smile and sparkling eyes shining with mischief, like she knows something they don't.

"So what next?" Zoro asks easily, dropping his arms from Sanji's sides and easily moving past him out of the cupboard and following Nami, talking of alcohol.

Sanji leans against the cupboard wall with wide and terrified eyes. Shit. SHIT. They were supposed to just be friends, he thought that they WERE just friends. He touches his lips with his fingertips and trembles slightly. He might be a little bit in love with Zoro.

Shit.


	79. Chapter 79

"Why would you do that to me Nami?" Zoro hisses under his breath as Sanji laughs loudly across the room, daring Usopp to lick Franky's armpits or else tell a truth. He's distracted enough, so Zoro can have this conversation if he’s careful.

"What ever do you mean?" Nami asks, batting her eyelashes at him in faux innocence.

"You KNOW what I mean! Putting me in there with Sanji!" He snaps at her as quietly as he can, keeping a careful watch on Sanji.

"I didn't do anything, the bottle spun and picked the two of you." She shrugs.

"Yeah and you were the one that spun it, I'm not so dumb to think that you didn't pick us in particular." Zoro points out. He's known Nami for years and he's wise to her trickery.

"Even if I did, so what? You've had a thing for him since you met him and you got a chance to kiss him. You should be happy." Nami sighs, flicking her long red hair over her shoulder.

Zoro groans and rubs his face in his hands. Nami is right on one part, Sanji stole his affections from day one. He blew into Zoro's life courtesy of Luffy and his sharp temper, fighting spirit and smart mouth got Zoro hooked. 

Shit, he should not have thought about Sanji's mouth just then. The mere word is enough to drag his mind back to his hands on Sanji's sides in the dark, holding him close and the cook actually kissing him back.

"Now I know what the thing I want so bad could be like, thanks for that torture you witch." He whines miserably. Kissing Sanji is going to be burnt into his brain for the rest of his life and he's never going to get to do it ever again.

"Well for someone who cares you sure walked out of there looking like you couldn't have cared less about kissing the guy you've wanted to date forever." Nami snorts loudly.

"Keep your voice down! And of course I had to, if I didn't Sanji would have known!" He insists. Nami shuts her eyes and sighs, like she's exhausted or annoyed but Zoro can't tell which.

"Yeah, Sanji knowing would be a disaster." She mutters and walks off with a shake of her head.

Zoro looks over at Sanji again, just in time to see Usopp pull back from Franky desperately wiping his tongue on his hands. Franky and Sanji are close to dying with laughter. Zoro smiles softly, seeing Sanji laugh has always made him sentimental. Sanji is just so radiant when he laughs.

The cook pauses though, maybe sensing Zoro's eyes on him and looks over. They lock eyes for a moment and Zoro's mind flashes him the feeling of Sanji's lips against his own, the taste of his mouth and the way he seemed breathless with it. Sanji's cheeks turn red and he wrenches his gaze away awkwardly. Zoro's heart sinks, what if Sanji knows? What if it's obvious now? Everything is ruined all because he's in love with his best friend.


	80. Chapter 80

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another part for mine and Yuu's Bartender AU collab!

"Hey there stranger." A voice says from Zoro's side, it's his blind side too and the intrusion is so sudden that Zoro jolts and accidentally flings the book that he was holding out of his hand. He flails and tries to catch it but the other person does instead.

That other person is Sanji, grin all cocky and book in hand.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" He snaps, more angry at himself for his stupid inability to sense people coming from that direction than he is at Sanji. He's got better at listening more and his senses are better, though they'd always been great, but nothing compares to actually having vision on that side.

"Sorry, just thought I'd come and see you." Sanji responds, looking a little hurt and irritated at Zoro's words.

"I didn't mean- never mind." Zoro mutters, realising that his hand had come up to his eye again. He keeps doing that without realising, touching the scar as if he could rub it better like he's got grit in his eye or something. He doesn't even have an eye any more.

"You haven't been here before, what do you think of the place?" Zoro asks, changing the subject and hoping that Sanji will go with it. Thankfully he does.

"I think it's huge. You told me that the book shop you worked at was big but I've never seen anywhere like this before. I must have walked past it before but it never looked this big from the outside." Sanji remarks, looking around again as if he needs to check that it's not changed size since he last looked.

"Yeah, we have the front of the shop and the back of the other two on either side, upstairs and down. Robin wishes it was bigger but unless she can add another floor on there's nothing she can do." Zoro answers with a shrug and takes the book off of Sanji and tries to find where he was supposed to be putting it.

The bookshop itself is huge and it looks bigger than it actually is because Robin has seen fit to cover about every surface that she can in bookshelves. All of the walls have them, the staircase has books in the recessed space under each step, the doorways have shelves over them. The bookshelf that Zoro is in front of right now is floor to ceiling and has a rolling ladder on it so that people can get to the books. Frankly the place looks more like a library of a historic university than a bookstore. It's part of the magic of the place though.

"Robin, is that your boss?" Sanji asks curiously.

"Yeah, she's my friend too. Well, she was my friend first." Zoro answers and climbs up a step on the ladder to put another book away.

"So... what time do you get off then?" Sanji asks with a smile and a grin. Zoro can't believe that he actually just said that.

"In about six hours and I just had a break too, so sorry." He answers with a laugh.

"Hm, so your boss would be pretty upset if you were doing something other than working right now, hm?" Sanji asks with a smile.

"Yeah, it might not bother you, you're your own b-" Zoro's speech cuts off as he feels Sanji's hands on his waist.

"So I guess that you should be quiet." the other man purrs and Zoro scrambles to turn around without falling off of the ladder or dropping his book.

Sanji grins up at him and something in his expression is all devious flirtation and Zoro is caught between wanting to explore that and trying to resist because he's at work. He's not even sure of the full extent of what Sanji has in mind but he's sure that it's not what Robin is paying him to do.

Sanji's hand fists in the front of Zoro's shirt and yanks him down for a kiss, an almost aggressive one in fact.

"Do you know how difficult you make work for me sometimes? Last night you were walking around in your place in just a towel and I wanted-" Sanji shakes his head, trying to dislodge the thought and Zoro can see his face heating up.

"Aw, poor Sanji." Zoro laughs at him and Sanji glares.

"Yeah, well, now it's your turn." the blonde says sharply, pulling Zoro off of the steps and pushing him back into the bookcase. Zoro's shoulders bump the wood and Sanji gets as close to him as he can, close enough to kiss him but not doing it. When Zoro leans in to kiss him Sanji avoids it, just grinning at him instead. His hand slides up the inside of Zoro's shirt and he opens his mouth to protest but Sanji cuts him off.

"You wouldn't want to get caught by your boss right marimo?" Sanji teases quietly. Zoro flicks a glance to the end of the row of books, he can hear Robin downstairs but the woman is so light on her feet that she could appear at any moment. He bites his lip hard as Sanji bites his neck.

Sanji is driving him mad, kissing him when Zoro isn't expecting it but leaving him without when Zoro tries to kiss him instead. Sanji is deliberately getting under Zoro's skin as much as he can.

Sanji's fingers slide along the waistband of Zoro's dark jeans and Zoro's breath hitches and his head collides with the edge of a shelf as he tries not to make a sound. Sanji turns and moves Zoro, so that he's not against the bookshelf any more but instead with his back to the ladder and the rest of the bookshop. Great, now he can't even see if Robin is coming, not that he was doing a great job of looking out for her a moment ago.

"Consider this revenge." Sanji breathes against Zoro's lips as his hand dips a little lower in Zoro's jeans but still not low enough for Zoro's taste. Zoro chokes back a noise and tries to inch a little closer to Sanji, if Sanji wants quiet he'll give him it if that is where being quiet will get him.

Sanji takes his hand back smoothly and plucks a book from the shelf at random.

"Thanks for the help finding the book, can I pay for this downstairs?" Sanji asks lightly, walking past him though Zoro can see that Sanji is almost as red faced as Zoro himself is. Zoro tilts his head and sees Robin at the end of the shelves. She arches an eyebrow at him and then dissapears with Sanji.

Zoro hisses in frustration. He is going to walk around his home fucking naked and stretch right by the windows, staring at Sanji the whole time. Then Sanji will understand revenge.


	81. Chapter 81

It's just... it's just a movie. It's no big deal. Absolutely not. He's not going to think about the fact that him and Zoro standing outside of the theatre waiting for the others to show up looks like they're on a date. It's not like the thought of spending time with Zoro like this had sent him into a flustered panic. He certainly hadn't spent ten minutes staring at his bedroom wall reliving every moment of their kiss over and over again and then agonizing about what to wear.

 

Nope. Not at all.

 

It had just been a stupid party game, a silly thing really, a kids game. He and Zoro had just kissed that was all.

 

His breath hitches as he remembers Zoro's arms around him, the feel of Zoro's skin and the slight rasp of stubble under Sanji's fingers. He feels the ghost of Zoro's lips against his and-

 

Sanji shakes his head and comes back to the present, hoping desperately that Zoro can't see the blush staining his cheeks. They're friends, that's all they've ever been and it's all that they're going to be. If there was ever going to be more then it would have happened years ago, right? He hadn't even thought of Zoro that way before that stupid game. Now it feels like it's all that he can think about.

 

Zoro's phone rings and the other man grumbles under his breath as he fishes it out of his pocket.

 

"Where are you?" Zoro says into his phone with his trademark scowl firmly in place. They're waiting for Nami and Luffy to get there and see the movie with them, but they're late and they need to get into the screen soon or else they're going to miss the film.

 

Zoro's eye narrows in displeasure and he hangs up sharply.

 

"They're not coming. Nami says that they got lost and then caught in traffic." Zoro says monotonously, turning to Sanji.

 

"Lost? But Nami's never got lost, she doesn't..." Sanji frowns, that doesn't make sense. Nothing makes any sense.

 

"What about the tickets though? We bought all four." He adds, pulling them out of his back pocket. Zoro shrugs unhelpfully, yeah this idiot is the one that Sanji's heart is fluttering over because of that kiss. But... he still wants to do it again. Shit, he was going to say something else, focus Sanji, focus!

 

"Well, do you want to see the movie just the two of us?" Sanji asks before his brain catches up. Shit, that sounds like a date. It sounds like he just asked Zoro on a date. Zoro blinks at him in surprise for a second, surely he doesn't think it's a date too does he? They're friends going to a movie with other friends, only... now they're alone. It's perfectly normal that they would still see the movie, they paid for the tickets. That's normal right?

 

"Sure, it's their problem if they're gonna be idiots." the other man agrees with a nod and plucks his ticket from Sanji's hand. Sanji follows behind him, shoving the two surplus movie tickets into his pocket. He'll make Luffy pay him back for his but he won't demand money off of his glorious Nami~swan!

 

His eyes travel over Zoro's body as the other man leads the way, it's probably dumb to let him lead but right now Sanji has bigger things on his mind. It's not that he's never been into men before, but he's never taken it further than just a passing crush or fantasy. He'd never even thought of Zoro that way before, sure he'd noticed his body but who wouldn't? He'd never thought lustful things about him though, not until now. Now he's walking behind Zoro and seeing the movement of the man's muscles under his shirt and the way that his jeans cling tight in all the right places. How had he never looked at Zoro this way before?

 

It's a stupidly bad idea though, he and Zoro are friends. Zoro didn't even bat an eye after their kiss, he acted like it was nothing even though it had left Sanji breathless and slumped against the wall in the little cupboard desperate for another. He could barely even look Zoro in the eye that night without wanting to grab him by the shirt and drag him back down there for another round. Zoro doesn't even care, so it doesn't matter how much Sanji thinks about it.

 

He follows Zoro into the screening, noting with some surprise that Zoro actually found the right one first time, and then settles into his seat next to Zoro. The lights dim and Sanji notes with horror that this is right out of his young teenage dating book, take your crush out to the movies, maybe dinner or a walk in the park afterwards. All he needs to do is fake yawn and put his arm behind Zoro to recreate all of his young dating failures.

 

"Look at it this way," He whispers, leaning over to Zoro determined to be normal and not make this weird.

 

"At least we're not seeing one of those 3D films, it'd be utterly wasted on you." He grins at Zoro. Zoro turns his head and glares at Sanji with his one remaining eye before backhanding him in the chest. A breath wheezes out of Sanji and he tries to keep his laughter quiet. He would kick the ass of any outsider who tried to mock Zoro for his injury but it was fair game within their circle, Zoro knows none of them mean it.

 

The movie is surprisingly pleasant to watch and despite Sanji's worries that this was going to be awkward he finds himself slipping back into the same easy relationship they've always had. The two of them are stretched out in their seats, leaning over into each other's space to quietly mock the movie and the actors. When they're not fighting the two of them get on really well, the fighting is great too but sometimes it's nice to just chill out like this.

 

"Drink?" Zoro asks as they leave the theatre and rudely interrupting Sanji's analysis of the movie.

 

"Sure." He agrees before his brain hisses the word 'date' at him. Shit, this ISN'T a date. They were supposed to be spending the evening with Nami and Luffy, it's just chance that it's the two of them.

 

They head to one of their favorite but more expensive bars, Shakky serving them their regular drinks without even having to ask. They slide into the booth that is claimed territory for them and their little crew of misfits, only now it's a little big for just the two of them. It's... intimate and private. Zoro's puts the beer bottle to his mouth and drinks, sending Sanji's mind skittering off into the gutter. This may be a bad idea.

 

Shit, no, he can't let this happen. He can't just freak out about every little thing just because he's discovered that he has a thing for Zoro. They're friends and he likes Zoro, he wants to have him around and if he wants to do that then he's going to have to be normal around him.

 

Regardless of that he throws back his drink and gets another before Zoro is even halfway done with his. He just wants to get a bit of a head start on Zoro, just enough to make him a little less nervous. Baby steps, right? They keep drinking for a while and irritatingly Zoro remains stubbornly sober thanks to his monstrous alcohol tolerance. Sanji is less well off, he's not drunk by any means but he's not sober either. He's trying to focus on talking to Zoro but all he can think about is kissing him. Drinking was probably not a great plan now that he thinks about it.

 

"I should probably get home." He says smartly and slides out of the booth.

 

"Wait, there's no point me being here on my own." Zoro calls, slapping the money for his round down onto the table and following Sanji out.

 

He joins Sanji outside of the bar as Sanji lights up his smoke and Sanji tries not to think about the potential tonight had for being a date. Movie and drinks. He's really enjoyed it too, and and Zoro were laughing and talking the whole time, they bickered and argued too, it was great. Aside from repeatedly fantasizing about kissing him it was all as it should be.

 

He could ask Zoro out on a date. A real date. His teeth clench on his cigarette and he steels himself a little.

 

"Uh, so... the other night." Sanji begins hesitantly. He's not asking Zoro out, he's not. He just wants to see how Zoro reacts.

 

"Oh. Nami's dare?" Zoro says after a second and Sanji sees him frown ever so slightly.

 

"What do you mean Nami's dare? She just named the dare, the bottle picked us." he says, feeling confused.

 

"You're dumber than you look. She did that deliberately." Zoro snorts and jams his hands in his pockets. It is kind of cold out he supposes. Sanji is confused though, why on earth would Nami have picked the two of them? That doesn't make any sense.

 

"Whatever. I just... things aren't... I mean you don't feel bad about it, right?" Sanji mumbles, sounding as eloquent as ever. He scuffs his shoe on the floor and kind of wishes that the ground could swallow him up.

 

"What? No I don't feel bad, it was... it's fine." Zoro answers and Sanji winces. Fine. Fine is not a good word. Sanji is not fine.

 

"Are you okay with it? I know that you're all about women and guys piss you off but it's not a problem is it?" Zoro asks warily and Sanji looks up to see that Zoro looks really concerned.

 

"No! Not a problem, it's just... that's not strictly true. About me I mean. Not that I've ever acted on it or anything. I mean kissing you is the most I've ever done with a guy. Not that it counts because you only kissed me on a dare." He answers, glancing away. He silently pleads that Zoro will get where he's going with this, that Zoro will understand that he is interested. Maybe Zoro has felt the same revelation as well after their kiss.

 

"Oh." Zoro says and it's more of a breath than it is a word. Sanji looks up and Zoro is watching him very intently. Sanji wants to kiss him, he wants it so bad. He glances down at Zoro's lips for just a second before looking back at his eyes, hopefully Zoro won't have caught that. He just looks so kissable though.

 

He should do it, if Zoro reacts badly then he could... he could lie. He could say that he was just proving his point about his attraction to guys, or that he was getting even on Zoro because Zoro kissed him first. Even if that's not true and he started it, he could still lie and say that. Or he could blame the alcohol, even though he's not that drunk. He could say it's a joke if Zoro reacts badly.

 

Shit, maybe it is the alcohol but he's going to do it anyway.

 

He needs to get this nervousness over, like ripping off a band-aid. If he thinks about it too much he's not going to do it and he'll chicken out. He breathes out a shaky stream of smoke and flicks his cigarette into the gutter. He takes one quick step towards Zoro and pulls him in by his stupid t-shirt.

 

He kisses him. The same as last time he starts slow, that way if Zoro shoves him away then Sanji hasn't gone too far. Zoro seems surprised, Sanji can feel how the other man's body is tense all over and Sanji is about to pull back red faced and lying about it until Zoro grabs him. Before Zoro's hands on his sides had been soft touches that made Sanji's skin tingle in anticipation. Now though Zoro's hands are fisted in Sanji's shirt on either side and they feel like they're burning into Sanji's skin.

 

Zoro kisses him back and hard, it's not the smooth heart fluttering thing it was before. This time Zoro seems frantic, like he needs it like he needs to breathe. Sanji's hands cling tight on Zoro's shoulders almost as if he was clinging on for life. He was the one who has kissed Zoro just then but Sanji is the one getting thoroughly kissed right now and Sanji has no problem with that at all. The two of them break apart just a little, enough for their lips to still be touching ever so slightly but they're both breathing hard against each other, from excitement rather than from the effort. Sanji can't help but keep canting his head in slightly and stealing the smallest kisses back off of Zoro. Eventually though they have to step back from each other, they have to talk, they can't go on kissing each other forever. Unfortunately.

 

“Wow.” Is all that Sanji can manage to say as he stares wide eyed at Zoro.

 

“Yeah.” Zoro agrees with a nod, just as red faced as Sanji feels. The other man frowns though and Sanji's heart clutches with panic.

 

“That- that was okay wasn't it? It's just ever since that dare I couldn't stop thinking about this. Maybe that's dumb but...” Sanji trails off in embarrassment. Zoro laughs and Sanji's blood freezes.

 

“Oh god, Nami's never going to let me live this down. That stupid dare!” Zoro laughs, his hands on his face and his shoulders shaking with amusement. A tangled snarl of worry coils in Sanji's stomach and he is suddenly very dubious about this. There wasn't another dare going on was there? Some kind of bet that Sanji would kiss him again? His friends wouldn't do that him, surely?

 

“W-what?” Sanji asks, hating himself for the tremor that he can hear in his voice.

 

“She's been on at me about this since...” Zoro pauses and looks at Sanji both red faced and wary.

 

“For years. Ever since I met you basically.” Zoro continues quietly and now Sanji is the one being watched closely.

 

Sanji puts two and two together and almost trips over four as it appears in his way so suddenly.

 

“You've wanted this for years?” Sanji asks wide eyed.

 

“Yeah, so what?” Zoro says sharply, the set of his shoulders and the tough look in his eye just daring Sanji to make something of it.

 

“So nothing. It just means that you're a chicken.” Sanji says with a slow grin.

 

“I- WHAT?!” Zoro rather appropriately squawks indignantly.

 

“Well I didn't realise how much I wanted this until you kissed me, and unlike you I did something about it.” he points out with a smug grin.

 

“I didn't know you would have wanted it, or... or me! I didn't even know that you liked guys!” Zoro exclaims, waving his arms.

 

“I didn't know that about you either. You walked off after we kissed like it was nothing but I still just took a risk and you didn't. So, chicken.” Sanji explains cockily.

 

Sanji watches Zoro's face flash through expressions. Embarrassment, anger, mortification and then back to irritation with Sanji and anything that he's ever said. Sanji is more than familiar with that last one.

 

“You- ARGH!” Zoro snarls and Sanji cuts out any further argument by kissing Zoro. The soft noise of surprise and excited interest that the action earns him makes Sanji want to do it again and again.

 

“So,” Sanji says softly against Zoro's lips and kisses him again quickly for good measure before he continues speaking, “I know this wasn't a date, but do you want to do something like tonight sometime as a date?”

 

“Yes.” Zoro agrees with such speed that Sanji grins, Zoro really does want this.

 

“Good.” Sanji says brightly, pulling back a little to look at Zoro's slightly dazed expression.

 

“Well, I'd better head home, I'm opening the restaurant tomorrow morning. Unless you want me to walk you home first? Kiss you goodnight?” Sanji asks, deliberately needling Zoro. It feels good that this part of their relationship won't change at least, Sanji would have regretted it if it had.

 

“Fuck you!” Zoro snaps angrily.

 

“Hm, at least buy me a drink first Zoro.” Sanji smiles flirtatiously and Zoro goes red enough to clash violently with his hair. Oh, Zoro is so going to have to catch up if he wants to get on Sanji's nerves half as much as he's doing to Zoro. He supposes that's the problem with wanting something for so long and not doing it, when it finally happens everything is a blur of disbelief. Well, Zoro's got no one to blame for that but himself.

 

“'night Zoro.” Sanji says a little more sincerely and kisses him quickly before turning around to head home. He hears a soft and disbelieving 'yeah, 'night Sanji' from behind him.

 

Sanji walks through the cool night air with the bright smile of a man who's just got a date with the person he likes and he reminds himself that he must take Nami for a drink to say thank you. Clearly she had more of a hand in this than Sanji had known about. And if he can gain more information from her to use against Zoro then all the better.  


	82. Chapter 82

Sanji hates this aspect of part owning the Baratie. It's his old man's place mostly but to stop the geezer running himself into the ground he's taken on a lot of the parts of the business for him. Right now he's having to hire new people to work there. Not new chefs of course, those fuckers just turn up like stray cats. Zeff seems to pick people up, train them and give them work when Sanji isn't looking. Not that Sanji begrudges him it of course, Zeff took him in and adopted him because of their shared dreams and passions relating to cooking. 

So no, he's not recruiting cooks, he's recruiting waiters.

It's always fucking waiters.

The cooks scare them off and often a whole bunch of the waiters get fed up at once, talk to each other about how much they hate the cooks and leave at once. This is why Sanji has been waiting instead lately and why he needs to get five new people on board ASAP. The only problem is that all of the idiots that he's interviewed so far have that weak look about them that tells Sanji that they won't last three months. Until he comes to the honestly really hot guy with the green hair. He's not exactly dressed fancy, a nice-ish shirt and jeans but he seems pretty relaxed. Sanji runs the guy through his work history which seems patchy at best, but Sanji isn't asking him to be a fucking brain surgeon here. 

“So, why do you want to work here?” Sanji asks the rote question, eyeing the attractive planes of muscle that he can make out through the guy's shirt. All behind the cover of his hair as he pretends to make thoughtful notes. 

“I don't really.” Zoro shrugs. 

That makes Sanji look up in wide eyed surprise.

“What?” He asks because he's not sure that he heard that right. 

“I don't want to work here, not really. I mean, I want the job. I need the job really.” Zoro says with a shrug and scratches the side of his neck thoughtfully.

“I do kendo, competitions and training students. It's great. It's what I love but... it doesn't pay all of my bills you know? So, yeah, I need a job but I don't really care if it's here or somewhere else.” The guy continues as Sanji sits there slack jawed. Has this guy ever had an interview before?

“The place seems nice though, so I'd like it I think.” He adds with a smile and damn he is hot. 

Well, honesty and hotness. That's... actually pretty good. Sanji appreciates people who don't bullshit him.

“Well okay then.” Sanji laughs in amusement at the guys guts. 

“The chefs here they... they tend to be a little rough on the waitstaff here. They pick on them a bit and they're a pretty crude and rowdy bunch of assholes. They're good at what they do and we're all kind of one big fucked up family but you have to be able to deal with that, do you think that you can?” Sanji asks, this time watching Zoro with obvious interest to see what kind of answer the strange man will give. 

“Hah, they can try it. If they try and jerk me around I'll do the same back. They won't walk over me.” Zoro laughs loudly and Sanji can actually buy it. 

“Alright, you got it. See you tomorrow at 5pm. Black tie, shirt and black trousers. Let's see how you do.” Sanji grins and as Zoro leaves Sanji watches him go and thinks that he's probably going to like seeing him around more. He's really looking forward to seeing Patty trying to pick on him. What he's looking forward to most is seeing his hot new coworker around the place every day, that'll be worth seeing.


	83. Chapter 83

"I would never! Please, you can't just- I know but you know how much I need-" The guy says desperately.

Sanji glances to the side, his unlit cigarette between his lips. He had been bored, the party inside was way too crowded and way too full of popped collar douchebags (seriously who even does that any more?) and Sanji has no idea how they got into the party but they're there now. Either way the thing had been ruined and he was going outside for one last smoke and a drink and then he'd intended on deciding whether to stay or go. He hadn't counted on running into the green haired guy on the phone.

"Well- well fine then! FUCK YOU!" The green haired man screams into his phone, hangs up and then promptly flings it across the lawn of the house. Sanji can see the look of regret at that decision flash over his face before the guy slides down to the ground, his back scraping on the brickwork of the house. His knees are almost against his chest and he presses his hands to his face and Sanji hears the sob come from him.

Sanji freezes, he doesn't know if he should just go and pretend that he didn't hear anything but... but the guy looks so broken. Goddamnit, why does he have to be so soft with people?

"Hey, are you okay?" Sanji asks warily, walking closer to him.

"Do I fucking look okay?!" The guy snarls, looking up at Sanji with streaming eyes.

"Sorry, stupid question." Sanji admits. The guy wipes his face with his sleeves and just succeeds in making his cheeks and eyes redder.

"Do you smoke? You can have one of mine if it'd make you feel better." Sanji offers, holding out the packet.

"No, never did." The guy answers with a shake of his head and a sniff.

Sanji considers the bottle in his own hand and offers that instead. The guy looks at it suspiciously but when he sees that the cap is still on he takes it with a grimace and another rub of his eyes. He snaps the cap off on the ledge of a walled flower bed nearby in a way that vaguely impresses Sanji.

"What happened?" Sanji asks.

"Boss fired me for- for something I didn't even do. A coworker stole money and my boss knew I really needed it, I helped a friend out with a hospital bill a month ago and then I was short on my rent so... so he knew I needed it. Someone stole and he assumed it was me. I'd just been begging him for extra hours to make the money up, I wouldn't steal." The guy says bitterly.

"And now you don't even have a job." Sanji says, finishing the logical conclusion to the guy's argument.

"Yeah, it's just my night. Shit this is embarrassing, I don't usually cry this much especially around strangers." He groans, drinking deeply from his beer as Sanji sits down next to him.

"Could your friend let you crash on their couch if you get kicked out of your place? It seems like the least they could do if you helped them out. Oh and... I'm Sanji by the way, so we're not strangers any more. Now you don't have to feel bad about crying." He says with a grin.

"That's some stupid logic but okay, I'm Zoro." He says with the slightest hint of a smile, even though the rest of him still looks sad.

"And I don't know if my friend can put me up though, he's not got a lot of space and he's still hurt, I wouldn't want to make his life tougher." The guy says miserably.

"That's pretty thoughtful of you. So, are you gonna go get your phone from... wherever it landed?" He asks, gesturing to the dark garden.

"Yeah, I suppose." Zoro sighs and drinks again.

"What did you do? For work I mean?" Sanji asks curiously.

"Anything really. That was retail, I'm a student. Japanese history and martial arts, double masters degree that I had to drop to part time so that I could, you know, eat and pay rent. Not that I can do either without a job." Zoro sighs, sounding less upset and more resigned now. He tilts his head back against the brick wall and looks up at the night sky, his eyes still red around the edges.

"That's some pretty heavy shit." Sanji whistles impressed.

"Yeah. I say part time but between studying and with work it was at least a sixty hour week." Zoro grumbles and he looks so SO tired and Sanji's heart aches for him a little.

"You've got some iron clad work ethic going on there." He remarks.

"I have to. I promised that I'd do this, ace my studies and be the best. I don't break promises." Zoro says firmly and Sanji finds himself grinning at they guy's grit, he has the same fire in himself and he sees it in Zeff too.

An idea occurs to him, slowly and seeping around the edges of his mind.

"Hey, do you know the Baratie? The restaurant in town on the corner of Blue?" He asks.

"Yeah, I don't live too far from there. It's a pretty fancy joint. Where'd that come from? Or are you just trying to distract me?" Zoro asks, looking thoroughly confused.

"My old man owns it and we're always losing waiters. The useless fuckers bitch about the chefs and can't cut it. We've got a bunch of vacancies. How about a job?" Sanji offers.

Zoro looks at him with wide eyes that slowly narrow into suspicion.

"Why would you do that?" he asks slowly.

"Well, you need a job, I need someone to work for us. Besides, I think any guy that willing to work and willing to work that many hours for what he wants to do wouldn't give in and quit like them. You help me, I help you. Plus, you seem like an okay guy." Sanji says with a shrug.

"I suppose if I hate it and you then I have time to look for a new job." Zoro says thoughtfully and Sanji laughs, the guy sure doesn't mince his words does he?

"Right. And if I ever had to then I'd at least give you a month's notice before I fired you, give you time to do the job search thing. It's still better than where you are, right?" Sanji says with a shrug.

"Do you just show up to parties and offer sad people jobs?" Zoro laughs, rubbing at his eyes and standing up.

"Oh yeah, that's absolutely why I stick around at shit parties. You find the best employees here." Sanji snorts and finally lights his cigarette as he too stands up.

"Well, good luck finding your phone. If you want the job then I'll see you soon I guess." Sanji says, turning and giving the guy a wave over his shoulder.

"Yeah... and hey, thanks." Zoro calls back. Sanji grins as he walks off, he thinks that this guy is gonna be good. He seems interesting too, it'll be fun getting to know him.

 


	84. Chapter 84

A/N: people had been asking for a continuation on the 'Greek' chapter, so here it is!

 

Zoro's not the kind of guy to just stare at strangers, especially not when he's spoken for but even he has his week moments. There's this guy who gets the same train as him to work and he's always barely awake, half heartedly nursing a cup of the strongest smelling coffee and sometimes almost dozing off so much that he forgets to drink it. The guy has even blinked owlishly outside the window at the stations as they zip past and then woken up sharply with a creative bout of cursing and rushed off having clearly missed his stop. He doesn't always get the train with Zoro, he wonders if the guy oversleeps sometimes, but when he does Zoro struggles to keep his eyes off of him.

The guy is blond and pretty, but in an entirely masculine way. He has this dumb haircut that Zoro would mock on anyone else but the guy still manages to kind of rock it in his own way. He knows that the guy doesn't like the cold from how much he bundles up in layers of warm and fashionable clothes in the winter, his cheeks and his eyes only just visible above a tightly wrapped thick scarf. He wears the oddest selection of clothes and the guy is skinny but Zoro knows that he's not exactly weak, one time in the spring when it was unseasonably hot the blond pulled off his sweater vest and Zoro caught a flash of perfect abs before his shirt slid down. That distracted him for the whole day. The guy is odd in his own way but still somehow... better for it. 

When he caught his boyfriend cheating on him and they broke up he found that staring at the blond on the train becomes something that kept his heart going. Maybe if he'd talked to the guy on the train instead of the asshole who became his boyfriend he'd be happier, he certainly noticed the blond on the train first. Maybe if he'd just... said something. He hadn't known how to start though, but maybe if he had then it would have been better. Maybe doesn't work though. Apparently what does is the stars aligning for him to literally run into the blond. Trust him that he'd be stupid enough to knock his stranger crush to the floor hard enough for the blond to his the ground and cut himself up on the pavement. Great. 

For some reason though instead of shouting at him and being angry the blond just looks up at him with startled eyes that are far too blue to be believable, then when Zoro offers to help patch him up the guy actually says yes!

Now he's leading the gorgeous blond, who's name is Sanji, to his home and the whole thing feels far too surreal.

“Uh, sit down wherever. Maybe there?” Zoro suggests, waving at his kitchen counter. That way he can try to fix his mistake without having to crouch on the floor. 

The guy, Sanji he reminds himself, hops up onto the counter with his long lean legs dangling off of it and Zoro makes some excuse to go and get his medical kit. He gets into his bathroom and has to lean against the door and catch his breath. He wants to go back there and smooth Sanji down over the countertop and do unspeakable things to him. What the fuck is wrong with him? He's technically only just met the guy and sure it's been a while since he's got laid or even got himself off but that doesn't excuse it. But... he's just so attractive that it's really difficult to keep his mind off of that sort of thing. 

Well, there's one thing that he can do to make him focus and that's to fix Sanji's injuries up, he owes him that. 

When he comes back, medical kit in hand he finds the blond just where he left him. He stops looking around the room in interest and instead looks right at Zoro with a small smile that a guy who just bit pavement shouldn't have. He puts his medical kit down next to Sanji and tries to focus. 

“That's a pretty extensive set of supplies that you've got there.” Sanji comments.

“Well, with my work I guess I just built up my own set. I didn't really think about it until now.” Zoro frowns, this probably is more than most people have in their homes isn't it? 

“Oh, are you a doctor?” Sanji asks him just as Zoro is putting antiseptic on a ball of cotton. 

“Something like that.” He says with a shrug and puts the cap back on the bottle. 

“A medic? Ambulance uh... whatever they're called. Nurse?” Sanji guesses curiously, his eyes shining with interest. He hopes that the guy isn't disappointed but he should tell the truth. 

“I'm a vet. Well... not yet. I graduate next month so right now I'm technically just an assistant.” He explains and the guy doesn't look disappointed. Lots of people don't think that veterinary medicine is real medicine. 

“You're good with animals, huh?” Sanji says, his smile broadening. 

“They've never complained.” He grins and wow Sanji has a nice laugh. 

“Hold still.” He says quietly and touches the blond's jaw to hold him still as he disinfects the cut and graze on his cheek. The guy does no more than take in a sharp breath, but other than that he doesn't show any sign of discomfort. Zoro focuses on getting the grit out of the wound first and then being more thorough with disinfecting it. When he's done it's a little discolored from the iodine but it's clean. He should bandage it up, not that Sanji's likely to scratch at it with his paws or anything, but it'll keep it clean. 

“I hope this heals okay, I wouldn't want to screw up your job.” Zoro says unhappily, he'll kick himself if he has. It'll probably take about a week to fully heal and maybe longer to fade back into the otherwise flawless skin. 

“My job?” The blond asks in bafflement. 

“You're a model, right?” Zoro answers and sees the skeptical eyebrow raise that Sanji gives him. Shit that sounded like a pick-up line.

“I- we get the same train in the morning and you don't really have an indoor voice on your phone. I've heard you say about photo shoots and fashion before, well, yelling at someone about them. I just assumed...” He trails off awkwardly and feeling dumber and dumber with every word. He sounds like a complete stalker now. 

“HAH!” Sanji cackles and Zoro stares at him, he doesn't seem offended and he doesn't seem like he's laughing at Zoro either. 

“Oh man, I'm nowhere near self obsessed enough to be a model, much less look enough like them for that!” Sanji snorts in amusement and he'd like to correct the stunningly attractive blond but he's sounded creepy enough as it is. 

“No, I'm a photographer. I do fashion photography, it's not what I want to do but it's a living. I guess you heard me going off on those idiot's agents for canceling shit on me. Am I that loud?” Sanji asks with an awkward wince. 

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure everyone in the train hears you.” He laughs and Sanji looks a little mortified at that. He gets close to the other man again and sticks a gauze bandage on his cheek. 

“Thanks.” Sanji says quietly. 

“Okay, I need to see the rest of you.” he says without thinking and it's only when Sanji grins at him and snickers a little that Zoro replays what he said in his head and realises just how it sounded.

“Not like that! You probably didn't just hit the ground with your face so you're probably hurt elsewhere too. Let me see your hands and elbows.” he sighs in exasperation, it's getting a little old putting his foot in his mouth like this so he's just going to go with it and maybe pretend that Sanji is just interpreting him in a perverted way rather than his subconscious being lecherous. 

Sanji laughs a little more but holds them out anyway. His hands are little grazed and Sanji looks really concerned about that, but if he works with his hands then it makes sense. 

“What did you mean when you said it's not what you want to be doing?” He asks, trying to move the conversation off of his idiocy. 

“Oh well, you know, you go to art school and study photography and dream of being an artist.” Sanji sighs as Zoro looks at his elbows. There's no cuts there, he'll bruise but his shirt protected him.

“Then real life and bills come along and you get stuck photographing self absorbed bastards who think that they're the shit because they make clothes look good. I consider it a good day when I don't want to hit anyone in the head with a tripod.” Sanji says wearily. 

“I'd-” he starts to say, he wants to see Sanji's work, especially his art stuff but Sanji's phone goes off loudly and the blond swears enthusiastically just like he does on the train. 

“Sorry.” Sanji says apologetically to him as he picks up. 

“What.” Sanji says flatly down the phone, looking unimpressed already. 

“You're serious? They can't just reschedule for now, shit doesn't work like that. ...You said WHAT?” Sanji snarls down the phone. 

“No, no, no. You can't just promise away my time like that without asking me!” Sanji snaps and then he pauses, his expression changing. Sanji shoulders slump a little and he rolls his head back, his eyes shut and face towards the ceiling. Zoro wants to kiss his neck. 

“How much?” Sanji asks with a sigh. 

“Yeah, okay.” he agrees reluctantly. He reaches up to rub his eye but presses his hand against his grazed cheek instead, he pulls his hand away with a hissed 'ow' and Zoro catches it. 

“Do that again and I'll have to put a cone on you.” Zoro threatens quietly and Sanji's eyes widen and he bursts into a startled laugh. Whoever he's talking to on the phone catches his attention though and Sanji's scowl comes back. 

“No I wasn't laughing at you, you're not funny, except to look at I guess. Fine though, I need to go home and get my camera then I'll head off I can probably make it in an hour if the trains are good.” Sanji says thoughtfully, looking over at the clock in Zoro's pathetic excuse for a kitchen. 

“Okay, yeah, yeah. See you then.” Sanji says with a wave of his hand that the person on the phone obviously can't see. 

“I'm sorry, I've got to go home and...” Sanji trails off awkwardly before clutching his hands in his hair and letting out a tense sigh. 

“Right so... just so you know. I live like... right there.” Sanji says, pointing out of the window to the building across the way from the square. Zoro peers in the direction that Sanji is pointing and tries to see where he means. 

“The one with the orange walls?” He guesses, that'd match the sometimes usual things that Sanji wears.

“What? No, the one with the blue curtains, above that, to the right.” Sanji says uneasily and for some reason he's watching Zoro's reaction closely but Zoro has no idea why at all. 

“Wow, I'm an idiot. I've seen you on the train every day and I never noticed you lived on the same street as me.” Zoro snorts, hardly believing how unobservant he's been. It's a wonder that he hadn't run into the other man before now, though he could have done with it being a little less literal. 

“I think we're both idiots. I can't believe that I was too dumb to notice you on the same train as me on the days when I work in the mornings. I guess I've never been a morning person though.” Sanji laughs in disbelief. 

“Still, I have to go.” Sanji says and if Zoro isn't mistaken Sanji looks a little unhappy about that. 

“Of course. I'll... see you around I guess.” He says and feels really awkward about it. Hopefully Sanji will want to talk to him again, maybe when they're on the train together. Maybe he can try to work out if Sanji is into guys and then if he is then he can work out if Sanji might be interested in him because there's no way that his crush can just walk into his actual life like this and not get his hopes up. But still... baby steps first. 

“Yeah, I'll see you.” Sanji nods and walks towards the door, unlatching it and opening it. He follows waiting to show Sanji out, he can at least be polite to him. Sanji pauses and looks at Zoro and seems to hesitate a little bit before speaking. 

“Thanks for this, you didn't have to. It was... sweet.” Sanji says softly, gesturing to his bandaged cheek. 

“Any time.” He responds and then immediately realises how dumb that sounds. Is he hoping for Sanji to get hurt again!?

“Bye.” Sanji smiles and heads out.

Zoro shuts the door after him and tries to let his heart rate drop again as he rests his head on it. His morning commutes are going to be way more interesting from now on. He jolts back as a knock on the door sounds almost right where his forehead was. He pauses dumbfounded for a second before opening it and seeing Sanji standing there red-faced and awkward looking.

“CanIgiveyoumynumber?” Sanji blurts out as fast as he can. 

Zoro blinks in surprise. Is... is this actually happening.

“Yes.” He says numbly. “Yes you can.”


	85. Chapter 85

Mixing the first two prompts that I got because I can and taking some liberties too.

"'I heard a blood curdling scream come from your apartment so I grabbed my bat and barged in ready to beat something into submission only for you to be standing on your couch screeching and there’s a spider on the table."  
and  
"And Zoro not even being able to make some sarcastic argument because he's crying too damn much and Sanji suddenly feels dead inside (okay, this is a bit sadistic)"

__

It's the scream that makes Zoro leap to his feet. He and Sanji live next door to each other and while they don't have particularly thing walls, though that was what made them meet rather angrily the first time, they're not all that thick. That scream though is so loud that Zoro can hear it as if Sanji was right behind him. He rushes to his wall and grabs his sword from the mantlepiece and bursts through his front door and drawing it at the same time in a way that will absolutely get him evicted from the building if someone sees him.

He skids to a halt at Sanji's door and whirls to kick Sanji's door right by the lock, slamming the door open. He bursts into Sanji's apartment and sees the blond perched on the top of his fridge but no one else is in the room. What is going on?

Sanji makes flailing motions towards the dining table in the middle of the room and whines in a high pitched and entirely un-Sanji-like way. Frowning Zoro paces close to the table, not sure what he's prepared for but not wanting to be unprepared.

In the middle of the table is a spider. Legs included it's no bigger than Zoro's fingernail and it skitters off to hide behind the fruit bowl when Zoro's shadow falls over it.

It takes him a moment to process that Sanji is on the highest thing in his apartment and the tiny spider on the table and put the two ideas together. He looks at the spider. He looks at Sanji.

Zoro doubles up with laugher so hard and so fast that he nearly hits his head on the table.

Sanji screamed like THAT because of one itty bitty tiny spider! Zoro's laughing so hard that his sides hurt and he manages to stumble to the kitchen counter and rest his head on it, still howling with laughter. He forces himself to look up at the mortified Sanji on the top of the fridge.

"Shut UP!" Sanji wails, his face in his hands. Zoro is crying with laughter and he nearly can't breathe because of how hard it is.

He chokes and snorts and shakily manages to sheathe his sword without giggling too hard and stabbing himself.

"Do- pft- do you need me to- hahaha- to move that spider out of... of here?" Zoro asks, unable to keep his laughter under control and he's completely lost all ability to keep a straight face.

"I hate my life." Sanji groans in misery from atop the fridge, his face tomato red and his eyes trained at his own knees as though if he tried hard enough he could imagine himself out of existence.

Zoro, still chuckling, makes his way to the table and scoops the little spider up safely.

"Not with your BARE HANDS! Oh god! How could- you must be able to feel the LEGS on- oh I think I'm going to be sick." Sanji says, his voice wobbling.

"What's that Sanji? You want to see?" Zoro grins, taking one step closer to Sanji and revelling in the horrified squawk the blonde lets out. Zoro snorts and moves away. Hysterical or not he's not really going to expose Sanji to something that he clearly has a massive phobia to.

He nudges the balcony door open with one foot and heads out there. The cold night air rushes past him and he shakes the spider out of his hands off of the balcony railing. The little thing will be fine. He comes back inside and shuts the door after him and holds his hands up to prove that the spider is really gone.

"So, are you gonna come down from there?" He asks Sanji. He actually has no idea how the blonde got up there. That fridge is at least seven feet high and there's only a couple of foot or two between the top of it and the ceiling, so much so that the blond is actually stooped a little to sit up there.

"No, I'm going to stay up here and pretend that you never saw that." Sanji says miserably.

"Good luck with that. Look, just come down." Zoro says, holding out his hand to help the other man down.

"Don't touch me with your spider hands!" Sanji yelps and winces away from him. Zoro groans, this is going to take a while.


	86. Chapter 86

Another prompt to avoid my brain. Can you tell that I used to play WoW?

"Prompt: strawhats as members of an MMORPG party with Zoro as a warrior, Sanji as a mage and Nami as a Rogue. Everyone else's class would be up to you :D - Anonymous"

"Stop fucking pulling!" Zoro snarls in Sanji's ear over the slight crackle of the headset. Zoro really needs to get a better quality microphone.

"Maybe it wouldn't be a problem if you could tank worth a damn marimo."

"Maybe if you let me do my JOB and didn't rush in on your own." Zoro spits back.

"If the pair of you could stop yelling anytime this lifetime that would be great." Nami sighs down the connection, her rogue leaping up to backstab the giant zombie dog that they're fighting. Between Nami's sensuous voice and the gratuitously animated female avatar of hers Sanji loses his focus a bit.

"Eyes up front moron or we'll never kill this thing in time." Zoro says snidely and Sanji makes a face that Zoro can't see and spams firebolts just to piss him off. That kind of spell always draws more of their enemy's attention to him and makes Zoro have to work harder to draw all of the hits and keep the lower health members of their team alive, namely him and Usopp. The health thing is fair though, they have to have low health to balance out how awesome they are.

"Sanjiiiii!" Usopp wails as the monster smacks Sanji once before Zoro reels it back onto himself. Usopp floods his character with health again and Sanji is fine.

"See, Zoro can't do shit." Sanji laughs, ignoring the distress of his healer.

"We're all meeting up at Comic-con next week, are you two really going to be able to go five minutes without fighting in person?" Franky sighs as he helps Zoro dissipate some of the attention that Sanji drew. He's their backup tank, he's not a warrior like Zoro is, he's a shaman but he's still okay for the job.

"It would be a shame if they killed each other." Robin notes, as grim as her undead dark priest looks. It was a pretty good fit for her particular black sense of humour. Sanji still thinks that she's lovely anyway.

"Sanji's gonna be just as useless in person, I'm not worried." Zoro says with a laugh and Sanji grits his teeth so hard that the nearly burnt out cigarette in his mouth splits, the tip of it landing on his bare legs. He curses under his breath and navigates the whole thing to his ashtray as he continues to fire off spells one handed.

"I'm not useless, you're one one who can't handle me." Sanji bites back.

"Pft. You're all talk, cook." Zoro laughs and Sanji REALLY wishes that he hadn't told his guildmates what he does for a job.

"How about a bet then, idiot? If you can't keep that thing under control with your 'awesome warrior tank skills'," Sanji says in his most mocking impersonation of Zoro's voice.

"then you have to dye your hair as green as your character's. That way when we get to the con everyone can see just how lame you are." Sanji purrs.

"Bring it on." Zoro snarls.

"What? NO! That'll cause a wipe if Zoro dies and I'll have to pay repair costs on my armour when I die! Zoro if that happens you'll pay me for that in triple!" Nami yells angrily.

"That's fine, it's not going to happen." Zoro says darkly.

"Can we not do this? Please?" Chopper whines unhappily.

"I'm with Chopper on this." Usopp chimes in.

"I think it'll be interesting!" Brook laughs brightly.

"I'm always up for a fun fight!" Luffy shouts down the microphone, again having no concept of an indoor voice or that he doesn't actually have to shout loud enough that they could hear him over their spread out locations without the microphone.

"Go on then cook, put your money where your mouth is." Zoro says goading him.

Sanji hums and watches as all of his spells refresh one by one and Zoro starts to laugh, like Sanji has chickened out or something. Sanji gives him a moment or two to be smug before he fires everything that he has at the giant undead dog. The thing reels around to face him and Zoro curses loudly. Sanji uses his vanish spell for a second which makes all of Zoro's attempts to redirect it specifically off of Sanji fail and Sanji watches as the monster goes around for the second heaviest damage dealer instead and punch Robin off of the face of the earth. Usopp gets splattered just as Zoro pulls the creature back and Sanji reappears, making Zoro have to work twice as hard, only now without a healer his health is dropping fast and Sanji watches with a wide grin as Zoro's character dies.

"Oh shit!" Franky yelps, switching awkwardly over to his tanking set and lasting about ten seconds before he dies. The dog then destroys Sanji's own character and though Chopper tries his best in his little druid form he's unable to stop the dog from killing every one of them one after another.

There's a moment of silence across their shared audio channel.

"Better go buy some bleach and some dye marimo." Sanji purrs and Zoro swears loudly and disconnects.

"That was amusing to watch, entirely worth the repair bill." Robin chuckles.

"I don't agree. Zoro owes me so much gold now." Nami says grouchily.

"I wanted to kill the dog." Luffy whines miserably and Sanji really ought to feel bad, they can only do this dungeon once a day and he's ruined it now but this was totally, TOTALLY worth it.

Sanji meets up with Franky first at Comic-Con, he's instantly recognisable from the photos that Sanji's seen of him, even with his cosplay on. The rest of their guild shows up one by one at their designated meeting place, all excited to see each other in person for the first time. Sanji is just as happy to see them, but the person that he wants to see most isn't there yet.

"There they are! ZORO! USOPP!" Luffy yells, leaping up and down while waving his arms wildly.

Sanji turns around and grins so hard it makes his face hurt. Zoro is walking towards them with Usopp at his side. Perhaps Sanji should be concerned by the small voice in the back of his head that notes in wonder that Zoro is far hotter in person, but the rest of him is too busy looking at the hair.

"Nice hair, mossball." Sanji grins because Zoro is bright, bright green. It's so obnoxious that Sanji could die.

"I helped!" Usopp boasts. Usopp and Zoro only live a town apart from each other, which is amusing as they hadn't known each other before they all joined the guild together.

"Nothing to say for yourself Zoro?" Sanji purrs, getting close to him.

"I hate you." Zoro growls in his face and Sanji couldn't be happier.


	87. Chapter 87

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got a Pacific Rim prompt and it's one of my fave movies, so here you go

They always fight, they argue about every single thing. Sanji harasses Zoro about his food choices, the amount that he works out, and the indifference with which he treats ladies. Zoro harasses Sanji about his constant fussiness, the fact that he could be stronger if only he worked out more and took himself more seriously, and the way that he goes all noodly over ladies. The pair of them have picked a full on screaming match and brawl over an argument as to whether something was more blue or more green. 

Every potential Jaeger pilot is put through tests, fighting tests, psychological tests, reaction time tests. All of those come with the goal of matching up potential drift partners. Zoro and Sanji always come out as a perfect match on paper and it's a running joke with everyone on base and a point of contention with the pair who always loudly insist that the tests are wrong. Usually that ends up in a fight too. 

“Maybe you two wouldn't argue so much if you spent a little time in each other's shoes, or in each other's heads for that matter!” Nami snaps one day when Sanji has thrown Zoro right across the bar room table and knocking her drink off onto the floor. 

“Oh Nami I'm so sorry!” Sanji flutters immediately in apology.

“Every word that comes out of your mouth makes me want to punch myself in the face to distract me from hearing it.” Zoro groans from the floor.

“Well don't let me stop you.” Sanji snarls back. 

“Maybe you're right Nami, maybe they should try drifting, it might stop their bickering.” Robin says with a slow smile. 

“Yeah right.” Franky snorts into his glass. 

“I can't think of anything I'd rather do less.” Zoro snorts as he gets to his feet. 

“Finally something that we can agree on.” Sanji sniffs, looking down his nose at Zoro even though they're the same height. 

“I think it'd teach you to get along. Zoro, if you do it I'll strike a thousand from your debt.” Nami says, pointing her finger at Zoro who balks in horror and opens his mouth to protest.

“Deny me and I'll add ten thousand.” She adds and Zoro's jaw clicks shut, he's not going to argue with her, arguing with Nami gets expensive and fast. 

“I can't do it without him, how are you going to get Sanji to agree?” Zoro says, clutching desperately to anything that will keep him out of a Jaeger with Sanji. Sure he's had a burning desire to pilot one for years. He's not been in one since Kuina died, she was his drift partner. Sanji hasn't drifted since his old man got too injured to go in with him. The one thing that the pair of them have in common is that, but even the lure of piloting a Jaeger again isn't enough to get them to want to do this. From the look of distaste on Sanji's face Zoro knows completely that the other man feels the same. 

“Sanji, you wouldn't deny me a request would you?” Nami asks sweetly and honest to god bats her eyelashes at him.

“I- ah... Nami I wouldn't but... with him, really?” Sanji tries desperately but Nami just pouts and sniffs sadly and Sanji wilts and gives in like rice paper in damp air. Pathetic. 

All of that is what has led to the two of them suited up and heading to the bright yellow Jaeger that has been made from the bottom up by Franky, Iceburg and Usopp. All three of them are in the control tower and it's Robin who is following them to the edge of the Jaeger, checking all of the safety protocols are in place. 

“You both know how this works, I hope that your brains don't dribble out of your ears.” She says cheerfully and shuts them in. 

He and Sanji both slowly look at each other. Zoro doesn't want to do this with Sanji, but he has no choice. He walks to the left side of the Jaeger and Sanji to the right. Neither of them talk and do their level best to pretend that the other isn't there as they set themselves into place. 

“You need to turn that higher.” Sanji remarks, waving his hand in the direction of the signal booster dial that Zoro had just set right in place.

“No, it's fine.” Zoro grits out in an irritated response. He's always used that setting. Not that it matters, it'd only be needed in an actual long range mission but old habits die hard. He and Sanji aren't drift compatible, they won't so much as get this thing booted up, let alone going anywhere.

“Let me fix it dumbass.” Sanji sighs and reaches over. 

“Touch it and I'll fix your face!” He snarls and Sanji flips him off and takes his hand back.

“Setting you down.” Usopp says over their intercom and within two seconds they both go into the zero g freefall that leads to them connecting to the body of the Sunny. It's strange how Zoro has missed that little detail too. They slow and click into place on the Sunny. The rest of the cockpit around them starts lighting up.

“Time to see if those tests and Nami were right after all.” Franky says over the intercom and Zoro can just hear the grin in his voice. 

“Okay boys, lean back and enjoy the ride, drifting in three, two, one.” Franky says and Zoro feels it kick in. 

The first sensation always feels strange. It's similar to when you're just on the edge of sleep and you jerk awake, of going from almost nothingness to alertness with a start. Sanji floods his brain, memories of Zeff, of being small and scared on a rock from a shipwreck caused by a Kaiju. He can even smell food from Sanji's kitchen in his nose even though nothing is there. At the same time he can feel his own memories lurking around. He can feel the sensation of training, the sound of Kuina's laugh and his determination to be stronger, he sees a flash of her dead body. That one always makes him flinch but right now he doesn't.

He swallows thickly and opens his eyes. He breathes in and his mind is quiet and still in a way that Zoro is only ever able to chase in his most successful meditations. He sighs and everything feels right, it feels like home. At his side he feels as much as he hears Sanji do the same. 

“That is... that's a perfect synch. There's... there's no interference at all.” Franky's stunned voice comes into them.

“How do you feel?” Nami asks them. 

“It feels good.” They say, two mouths and two voices saying the same words at the same time with the same intonation. Perfect harmony between their voices. 

“I have never seen anything like this.” Usopp comments in awe. 

“They're perfect!” Luffy's voice chimes in from the background. 

Zoro reaches a hand up to the switches above him and Sanji does the same on his side, the two of them initiating programs and sequences. They don't even need to ask. The urge to get out there, to move this giant body and to go and be free with it is just as strong with both of them. 

They move and the Sunny moves. Hands raising and turning to fists. Zoro's arm rolls and Sanji flexes metal fingers. They walk with no hesitation in their steps. Sanji is pulling ahead here, mentally taking the lead with Zoro simply following his mind with his side of their body. It's not that Sanji is in control or overpowering him, but this is what Sanji does best, it's not even a question. 

“Whoa, guys, you can't go outside.” Franky says and Zoro and Sanji grin in unison.

“Just try and stop us. We've got a miracle mile to patrol.” They answer. 

They walk, the ocean lapping at their legs and the sensation of being giant and powerful thrilling them both. Maybe they should be talking, saying how they missed this, how they thought they would never get it again. They don't need to though, they both know. 

As if wished into being by the pair of them the breech pings their systems with a Kaiju event, another giant freak that needs its ass kicking and they are just the people to do it. 

“This is going to be fun.” They smile darkly. 

Zoro flicks both wrists and a pair of swords slide out into their grip. Perhaps Franky had been aiming for them all along because the design of this thing screams both of their names. Sunny's hips are flexible and rotate and bend far more than any other Jaeger's, a blatant gesture to Sanji. The strong bladed swords that balance perfectly, coupled with the speed of the arms is Zoro all over.

They walk closer, the water climbing higher around them, but they don't allow it to go more than thigh high, they want to move this thing easily and the Kaiju will come to them. The damn freaks can never resist a good fight and neither can the pair of them. 

When it breaches the surface the Kaiju's nose looks like that of a swordfish and Zoro dearly wants to slice it from its head. Sanji moves their feet and plants them in a solid grip, Zoro clenches their hands around the swords and when the opportune moment arrives he slices, the power of their blades aided by the twist and drive that Sanji gives their hips. The Kaiju spurts neon blue oil slick blood and as it screams and flails for more they block with a foot and then swing it into the beast's eye with a flick. Their sword arcs forward into the creature's stomach, their left blade fending off a claw. With a screech the Kaiju dies and the sound of euphoric laughter rings inside Zoro's head, he doesn't know if its him laughing, Sanji or both of them. He doesn't care.

“That is a new speed record for a kill. Come on back, I think we've got a new permanent partnership.” Usopp says, breathlessly happy. They turn back and come back to base. 

When the drift ends Zoro aches deep down inside himself and it feels like someone tore a limb from him. He shudders with loss and when he looks over at Sanji he can see the same uncomfortable expression that he can feel on his own face. They are never going to be able to live this down.


	88. Chapter 88

"I can't believe this." Sanji whines unhappily, his head tilting back onto the top of the sofa.

 

"Me neither." Zoro agrees and drinks from the bottle of whiskey in his hand.

 

"I mean, I know that Nami is lovely, a wonderful precious flower of course... but..." Sanji tries to finish his sentence and instead goes for Zoro's bottle of whiskey and taking a pull of it instead.

 

"You can't believe that of all the people that Vivi could have chosen to date it would be Nami?" Zoro grumbles and takes the bottle back off of Sanji and drinks as well.

 

"I spent so much time and effort wooing her! I had plans Zoro, so many plans!" Sanji whines, sliding down the sofa miserably.

 

"Yeah, and half of your plans were plans to ruin MY plans!" Zoro accuses, leaning over and clonking the top of the whiskey bottle on Sanji's head. Sanji hisses and takes it off of him. Both so that he can drink and so that Zoro can't try to brain him with it again.

 

"You're one to talk. I had that riverside walk set up perfectly with flowers and everything until you shoved me in the river just seconds before she arrived!" Sanji snaps, still angry about that.

 

"Hey, white didn't suit you. Green weeds look far better on you." Zoro sniggers and slides a little further down the sofa himself.

 

"You're just saying that because your hair looks like algae!" Sanji argues, jabbing Zoro in the side with his elbow.

 

"But... Nami though." Zoro says after a moment or two.

 

"I really didn't see that coming." Sanji agrees, sliding a little lower still down the sofa, his face pressing into Zoro's shoulder. He's not sure if it's the whiskey or if this sofa really is this slippery.

 

"I had thought that if she didn't date me it would be you, I didn't even consider her." the other man says, sounding baffled.

 

"You thought I had a chance?" Sanji asks, looking up at the slightly drunken Zoro.

 

"Well, yeah. When you're not fluttering and getting in your own way you're pretty... charming... I guess. That's why I had to keep fucking up your plans." Zoro shrugs, accidentally dislodging Sanji's head from his shoulder. Zoro drinks again and Sanji takes the bottle off of him and takes a large gulp himself. This had started out as the pair of them sitting in shock and mutual misery at Vivi's choice to not date either of them but now...

 

"Charming?" Sanji asks, pushing himself up on his knees and turning to face Zoro.

 

"Sure. You must have thought I had some chance too, right? If you didn't then why would you have deliberately taken all of the laces out of my shoes right before I was going to see her?" Zoro asks and Sanji can't help but laugh. Living just down the hall from each other had its advantages, especially as they had copies of each other's keys in case they got locked out of their own homes. That was the only time that Sanji had misused his though.

 

"I can't believe that you went out to meet her barefoot!" He cackles.

 

"Like I was going to let that stop me!" Zoro says and puffs out his chest a little.

 

"See, that is why I was worried that you were going to win. You get all stupid and... driven I guess. It's so genuine it kinda hurts to look at it." Sanji says and he can't help but notice that Zoro is going a rather fetching shade of red that is probably only slightly to do with the alcohol.

 

Sanji bites his lip. Maybe it's just the whiskey but...

 

He leans forward and kisses Zoro, his hands drunkenly trying to find somewhere to support himself and landing up with the arm of the sofa and Zoro's hip. He figures that he's fucked up until Zoro gives his breathy moan and kisses him back just as hard. As the two of them fall into uncoordinated kissing and tangled limbs Sanji just spares a moment to think that maybe competing with Zoro had been what held his attention more than flirting with Vivi. Well, he hopes that she's very happy with Nami. With Zoro's hands inching up under Sanji's shirt he can't say that he’s thinking all that much about it. 


	89. Chapter 89

_“Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”_

Zoro likes to consider himself a reasonably amusing person. In the sense that he has a good sense of humor, not as Sanji repeatedly tells him that he's funny looking.

Nevertheless he'd just made a joke and Sanji had laughed. Not a 'ugh that was such a bad pun I'm laughing because I feel bad for you' laugh, not a 'I'm laughing AT you' laugh. No, a genuine laugh and holy shit Sanji's looking at him with a real smile now. It's this beautiful thing that curves the cooks lips just so and that word alone should have tipped Zoro off to the fact that this is trouble. But he can't hear reason over the way that his heart thumps at that smile. 


	90. Chapter 90

_prompt: “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”_

 

“You what?” Zoro asks, opening his eyes and looking up at the cook. He's a black shape against the sun above so Zoro actually has to sit up properly and look at him.

 

“You heard me.” Sanji says sharply.

 

“Well... that's new.” Zoro says slowly. Sanji, in love with _him_?

 

“Are you just fucking with me? Because it's not funny, go swoon over the girls.” He adds with some skepticism. The frustrated and slightly distraught look on the cook's face tells Zoro that he's not just fucking with him.

 

“That's what's so terrifying. I'm _trying to_ okay? But then... then you're there and you're just all...” Sanji hisses out in frustration and gestures to Zoro's entire being.

 

“And then I can't think of anything else.” Sanji adds lamely.

 

“Hm. You get used to it.” Zoro says with a shrug.

 

“Oh, so what, you're saying that everyone feels like this about you? Your ego is just-” Sanji snarls but Zoro interrupts him.

 

“No, just that I go through the same thing. Only without flirting with the girls. And with you.” he tells the other man with a shrug.

 

“Oh.”

 

Sanji looks at him and shifts uneasily from foot to foot. He glances around like someone about to do something criminal and hoping not to be caught. Quickly he crouches down and kisses Zoro, a little awkward and off centre but still a kiss. Zoro smiles into it, it's not so scary when you get used to it. 


	91. Chapter 91

prompt: “ _This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”_

“There is no way that's going to work!” Usopp hisses, waving his arms. Zoro and Sanji shush him.

“It is easily the dumbest thing I've ever heard.” Sanji says with a nod, clearly agreeing.

“I don't hear YOU coming up with any bright ideas!” Zoro says in the angriest whisper ever.

“Where are we even going to get a cockatiel?” Usopp whines, they all duck low under the security light.

“You're a pirate, figure it out.” Zoro shoots back.

“We're ALL pirates!” Usopp hisses, gesturing dramatically.

“Well you could cut some of Usopp's hair off for the fake mustache..” Sanji muses.

“See, it'll work just fine.” Zoro asserts.

“If we live through this, it's going to be the best story ever. Let's go catch a bird!” Sanji grins and drags the three of them off into the small patch of woodland. 


	92. Chapter 92

_Prompt: “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”_

 

“Of course there's a reason.” Sanji purrs, lounging on one elbow with one bare and somewhat hairy leg outside of the sheets so Zoro can just a perfect bare stripe from Sanji's toes to his shoulders just to prove that he really is naked.

 

“It'd better be a good one.” Zoro says with a glare.

 

“Our argument is over, now we can have make-up sex. It'll be great. Get over here.” Sanji tells him with a waggle of his stupid eyebrows.

 

“Who says it's over? I'm still pissed off at you for what you did.” He snaps angrily.

 

“Aw,” Sanji says unhappily, pushing himself up and making his way across the bed on hands and knees and wow he really is naked, did he learn this from porn or something?

 

“But I'm really sorry.” Sanji says, leaning up and wrapping his arms around Zoro's neck and pressing most of his naked body against Zoro. Zoro's own body is demanding that he forgive Sanji for... whatever it was he did because who cares when there's a naked Sanji there?

 

“How sorry?” Zoro asks incredulously, his resolve wavering.

 

“Can't you feel how sorry I am?” Sanji says silkily grinding his body close to Zoro's and he can feel _something_ alright.

 

“That's not- the purpose of that isn't to show how sorry you are!” Zoro argues but now he's got one hand on Sanji's hip.

 

“So why don't you show me what it is for?” The blond asks, leaning back and fixing Zoro with a filthy look. Zoro tries to tell himself that this doesn't make up for whatever it was that Sanji did. He's forgotten now.

 

“You're impossible.” Zoro sighs but he falls into bed with Sanji anyway. Sanji is apparently very sorry. 


	93. Chapter 93

_Prompt: “Kiss me.”_

 

“You want me to what?!” Sanji hisses as their pursuers gain ground on them.

 

“It's busy up there, duck around that corner and kiss me. We'll blend in. No one... no one wants to... to get close to something that awkward.” Zoro pants as they sprint.

 

Sanji looks at Zoro like he's man, which he clearly is. Zoro doesn't give him much choice as he yanks them sideways so hard that Sanji nearly trips as they head into the alleyway. Zoro is against the wall, his chest heaving with exertion and his cheeks flushed.

 

“Kiss me.” He says breathlessly.

 

The thought kind of... bypasses Sanji's brain. He's got one hand planted on the brick wall by Zoro's head and the other aggressively fisted in the neck of Zoro's shirt. He's kissing Zoro bruisingly hard and when Zoro makes this noise of shock Sanji shoves one leg between Zoro's and grinds on him.

 

“Which wa- ugh.” A voice barely registers in Sanji's brain as he tightens his grip on Zoro's shirt, he intends to _ruin_ him. Zoro breaks free of Sanji's mouth and tilts his head back with this desperate sound, his hands scrabble for Sanji's hips and Sanji bites a mark into Zoro's throat.

 

“I- ngh... I think they're... they're gone.” Zoro pants out. Sanji bites a little harder and then licks over the deep and dark mark that he's left. He glances down the alleyway and sees no one else there.

 

“Good plan.” He says with a calmness that he absolutely fakes.

 

“Move it.” He tells Zoro and jogs on, leaving Zoro behind him for a moment, his hands clutching at the wall for grip and his body shaking slightly. That'll teach him. Maybe?


	94. Chapter 94

_Prompt: “Please, don’t leave.”_

 

Zoro stands in the doorway, one bag in hand. Sanji's words have frozen him, Sanji never begs. Well, not outside of the bedroom where Zoro can make him beg for it.

 

“Please. I'm an idiot and I shouldn't have said what I did. I love you and I'm an idiot for saying anything that would make you doubt it. So please don't leave. I'm an idiot.” Sanji pleads. Zoro looks over his shoulder.

 

“You might have mentioned the idiot part a few times.” He says flatly.

 

“It's true. I'd be an idiot not to try to stop you, but I'm not that big of one so I'm trying. Forgive me?” Sanji asks hopefully, stepping a little closer to Zoro.

 

“You're an asshole, you know that? I should leave and you shouldn't be able to talk me out of it!” He snaps at him.

 

“I know, I know that. I am an asshole I know. But... I want to be with you Zoro, I love you, I really do.” Sanji tells him and goddamnit Zoro can see the honesty in his eyes and the desperate hope there. Sanji means this. He snarls and looks at the floor, he shouldn't have to put up with this bullshit but it's Sanji, Sanji has always been able to get under his skin and that's the reason why he loves him. Shit, he really does love him doesn't he?

 

His bag drops to the floor and Sanji throws himself at Zoro, his arms around his neck. 


	95. Chapter 95

Prompt: “Wanna dance?”

 

Zoro offers his hand to the cook. This whole thing between them is still so new, so unstable. But it could be so easy to lose who they are in this, to become something different.

 

There's a dark look in Sanji's eyes and Zoro wants to bite the cook's lip just like Sanji is doing right now.

 

Zoro starts to lower his hand, he wants this so badly but if Sanji doesn't then it's not going to work. He can hardly dance without Sanji can he? Maybe he should have asked Robin instead, she's an amazing dancer and she wouldn't turn him down. Zoro had wanted Sanji though, he does want Sanji.

 

Before he can drop his hand entirely Sanji's hand slides into his, palm to palm and Zoro can feel the cool smoothness of the back of Sanji's hand.

 

“You could ask a little more nicely.” Sanji mutters, looking down instead of at Zoro. Zoro grins stupidly wide.

 

Their steps are still a little out of sync, but that's not really the point. Sanji's laughing at Zoro's every mistake but it's still enjoyable. Zoro can feel the glow of happiness inside of him because Sanji said yes and they're really doing it, when he looks at Sanji he can see that same glow there and Zoro couldn't be happier. They're more than just dance partners. 


	96. Chapter 96

_Prompt: “Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”_

  
  


Sanji is as frozen right now as the ball that just hit the side of his head. He pauses, pulls off one mitten and flicks the snow from his hair and tries to dislodge it from inside his ear. He turns slowly and menacingly to Zoro, Usopp and Luffy. Zoro is looking like he's half a second from dying with laughter and for that at least Sanji can oblige him.

Sanji had warned the three snowball holding men as he walked past and yet here he is, splattered and angry with slush running down his chin.

Zoro points at Usopp.

“I- WHAT? Zoro! I did not! I'm not that crazy.” Usopp mutters that last part and flicks a look to Sanji's murderous expression.

“Besides I'm still holding mine!” Usopp adds holding it aloft.

“I am going to bury you in snow and no one will find your body until it _thaws_.” Sanji growls and Zoro doesn't even get a half a second of a head start as Sanji chases him. 


	97. Chapter 97

“Oh no you fucking don't!” Zoro shouts, leaping over his sofa and grabbing his swords off of the wall. He turns around, weapons drawn, and stares at the demon advancing on him. If the small horns poking out of the hair of the man wasn't enough of a clue then the long thin tail with the diamond shaped end would have tipped him off. This is a demon in his house.

 

“I know what you are, I've done demonology!” He tells him, though in truth Zoro is still mentally narrowing down just what kind he is.

 

“Oh really?” The demon purrs, looking up at Zoro through a curtain of blonde hair as it advances on Zoro with a particularly slinky and self confident walk. There's a casual swing of the demon's hips like Zoro is absolutely no threat at all. Zoro is about halfway sure that his blades will work on this demon but he's not sure enough to want to start a brawl, he will if it comes to that though. But he knows what he's dealing with now at least.

 

“Yeah, you're an incubus, I can see that much.” Zoro says firmly. It's true though, what the demon is wearing is mostly suggestive jewelry and a pair of painted on leather trousers that are cut so low that Zoro can actually see the suggestive trail of hair plunging down there.

 

“Handsome and smart, lucky me.” the demon says, licking its lips. Zoro lowers his swords, demons like this can't fight humans, they're bound not to. They can cause a fuck load of damage to anything not completely human though and Zoro knows from his tests that he is 100% all natural human, no changeling ancestry at all or anything else of interest either. He's in no danger here.

 

The demon slings its arms around Zoro's neck and fixes Zoro with a seductive smile, plastering itself up against Zoro's body.

 

“Or should I say, lucky you.” he says smoothly into Zoro's ear. Zoro grins, this is going to be fun.

 

“Lucky me, huh?” Zoro says.

 

“Mmm hmm, I can do things for you that you couldn't even dream of, give you a night you'll never forget.” the demon promises.

 

“Yeah I bet, anyone who fucks you gets their soul sucked out of them and dies, it'll be the last thing they do.” Zoro snorts.

 

“So what? Everyone's gotta go sometime and believe me, this is one of the best ways to go.” he says breathily into Zoro's ear and licks along the line of Zoro's earrings.

 

“Sorry, no.” he denies the demon, pushing him away. The demon backs off a little and looks Zoro up and down assessingly.

 

“Well, I can always get off on my own, I'm sure you'll want to join me sooner or later.” the demon says with a wicked smile, Zoro can see his fangs.

 

The demon runs his hands down his sculpted chest and abs, his skin suddenly shiny and slick as if he's been rubbed over with oil. He looks like he could be advertising underwear, or more likely, porn. His breath is fast and his eyes half lidded, his lips parted just a little and his hips twitch slightly, every inch of him screams sex.

 

Zoro sheathes his swords and hangs them back on the wall.

 

“Not interested.” He tells the demon.

 

“Well aren't you full of surprises. I almost never get anyone as rigidly heterosexual enough to resist me, but sure, I can play it your way.” The demon says with a pout that turns lipsticked as the blond's hair lengthens into luscious waves worthy of a l'oreal advert assuring that he is indeed worth it. The demon slinks over, curvaceous hips and large but perky breasts straining against thin fabric bikini covering them, she bats thick eyelashes at Zoro and with a totally fake 'ah' the demon gasps and the bikini finally gives up, her breasts bouncing free of their confines.

 

“Aren't you supposed to be able to tell what gets someone off?” Zoro asks her, although now she has changed back to the male form that the demon had when he walked in here.

 

“For fuck's sake.” The demon huffs without a trace of irony and flicks through various forms, androgynous, elf, fae and quickly though some animal hybrid and about ten others.

 

“Alright what the fuck? I can't see any wards on you so what gives? Just tell me what you want and I'll be it, right now I'm up for the challenge okay?” The demon growls. Shit, the agitation on the blond's face is comical and Zoro can't resist fucking with him, metaphorically of course.

 

“It's not you, it's me.” He taunts and the demon looks like he wants to set everything that Zoro loves on fire.

 

“Just tell me already!” It shouts.

 

“Nothing you do is going to work, you can't force me into wanting you, that's not how this works. Anything I do has to be freely given. So nothing you do will matter to me, I'm asexual, you can't make me want you no matter what. It's nothing personal, you look nice and all but-” Zoro starts to say but the demon angrily interrupts him.

 

“NICE?! NICE is- I have never been so insulted!” He squawks indignantly.

 

“I would say I'm sorry but I'm not.” Zoro laughs at him.

 

“Shit, I'm stuck here until I get your soul, I can't go back without it the portal back won't open until I have your soul and if you're not going to agree then I can't...” The demon sighs, rubbing its temples in stress.

 

“Okay, right, everything works doesn't it? I'm sure you jerk off, that's just a physical mortal thing, all animals do it. Can't you just... jerk off and I'll jump in at the last moment. That'll work.” The demon says with a frown.

 

“Why would I ever do that? I'm not going to give you my soul!” Zoro exclaims.

 

“Oh come on, I can't get back home unless I have your soul!” he pleads.

 

“That's your problem, not mine.” Zoro tells him irritably.

 

“Great, just perfect. I'm stuck on the human plane forever now unless I can figure out a way back! Maybe I could get the witch to cancel the contract but... I don't think she can, when I showed up I agreed to it and we can't break that stuff. Shit, I need to think.” The demon groans and falls back onto Zoro's sofa.

 

“Well, I was just about to watch a movie before you showed up so I'm gonna go do that.” he tells the demon. The blond says nothing but just grunts to Zoro. He ignores him and goes to make popcorn. He settles down onto the sofa and puts the film on, he'd been meaning to watch this for a while.

 

The demon starts paying attention right when Brad Pitt is threatening to have 'the bear jew' crack the nazi's skull open with a baseball bat.

 

“He's one of ours.” The demon pipes up.

 

“Brad Pitt's a demon?” Zoro asks in surprise.

 

“Nah, he made a deal for his soul in exchange for fame and fortune. He's a good actor though, he would have made it without us but we weren't going to tell him that. Not my line of work of course but still.” The demon tells him and reaches over to snag some of the popcorn and watch the movie.

 

“Huh, that's a shame.” Zoro says thoughtfully and the demon shrugs. They watch the film in relative silence with the demon piping up occasionally with questions from references that he doesn't get. It's... nice actually. When they do talk a little it feels good and Zoro knows that's not demon magic or anything, the guy is irritating but it's kinda fun.

 

Just as the film is closing though Zoro notices the demon crying silently, his face pressed into his arm.

 

“Are you getting weepy over watching hundreds of people blown up and shot to death?” Zoro asks incredulously, this guy is a demon for crying out loud!

 

“No. Although that's pretty good. I'm just... never mind.” The demon sniffs rubbing his face on his sleeve. The demon switched into clothes that were presumably more comfortable than what he had been wearing to seduce Zoro, now he's in skinny jeans and an oversized black sweatshirt.

 

“No, what is it?” Zoro asks curiously.

 

“Like you care.” he says bitterly.

 

“Humor me.” Zoro says and the demon looks at him, his eyes a little red and not from any kind of demon traits. He's genuinely a little bloodshot from crying. His cheeks are even a little puffy, he looks pitiful.

 

“It's just... without your soul I'm stuck here on the human plane for all eternity. I'm never going to get to see my friends or my old man ever again.” he says in a choked up voice.

 

“You have families? A father?” he asks the demon in surprise. None of his demonology textbooks said that.

 

“Oh fuck you, of course we do, we're still people! Just because we're not mortal doesn't mean we don't have lives and people we care about! But no, he's not my father, I nearly died once when I was really young and he saved my life, I owe him and... he's not... all bad. Even if we fight a lot I'm gonna miss him and now I'm never going to see him again.” the demon says, looking down at Zoro's floor. Zoro frowns, this isn't a trick, being pathetic is hardly a way to get into Zoro's pants and even if it was Zoro still isn't sexually interested in him. He still feels a little bad for the guy though.

 

“Does it have to be a whole soul? What about life force?” He asks warily. The demon looks up at him in confusion, yeah, this isn't a trick.

 

“I... I guess that could work. It'd be enough to get me through the portal and if I got back I could try to get my contract annulled, if it's unfulfillable it ought be void if I can take it to the right people. I can't do that from this side so... but it doesn't matter, you're not going to agree to anything sexual, even for a lesser deal. You still have to be into it and you're not, right?” the demon says sadly.

 

“Forget that for a moment, what would a kiss give you?” Zoro questions him. The demon looks at him in shock.

 

“A... kiss?” He says in quiet surprise.

 

“Yeah, a kiss.” Zoro repeats.

 

“I uh... I don't know. I've never had to look it up before.” The demon says awkwardly.

 

“You're a SEX DEMON and you've never kissed anyone?” Zoro laughs, that's absurd!

 

“Shut up asshole! I'm not a kissing demon, I'm an incubus thank you very much! I show up and fuck people's souls out, I've never even had to wait five minutes before I've got them begging for more!” He shouts angrily but that only makes it funnier.

 

“So look it up then.” Zoro tells him after his laughter has subsided. The demon is red in the face with anger and embarrassment.

 

The demon huffs, his blonde hair fluttering at the action and he snaps his fingers causing a piece of paper to burst into existence with a flicker of flame.

 

“Let me see.” The demon says, sliding on a pair of glasses. He needs glasses? That's just... that's kind of sweet. Zoro doesn't say anything though because the demon most likely won't appreciate it.

 

“Oh, here we are. A kiss... that's half a day off of your life.” he tells Zoro and the paper disappears.

 

Zoro hums thoughtfully and considers it. If it weren't for the horns and the flicking tail that's curled around the demon's feet Zoro could mistake him for a human, a conventionally attractive one apparently, but a human nonetheless. Still...

 

“Why does it matter though? Kissing is a sexual thing and you don't-” the demon starts to say.

 

“It's also a romantic thing.” Zoro tells him.

 

“You can do that without sexual things?” he asks in confusion.

 

“Sure, I've been romantically involved with people before. You go on dates, have dinner out and go to the movies if you want, you spend time with them, kiss them and fall in love if you like them that much. It's just like any other romantic relationship just without the sex stuff. I've done that before.” he explains.

 

“Oh. You... but you have to be romantically interested in me for that and...” The demon trails off and his cheeks are actually going a little bit red.

 

“Well, you're not so bad. You seem to have okay taste in movies and you're kind of funny, pissing you off is pretty fun too.” Zoro tells him and the demon stares at him.

 

“Besides, I feel bad trapping you on the human plane for all eternity. For half a day I think it'd be worth it.” he adds. The demon is looking at him with wide eyes.

 

“You'd do that for me?” the demon asks quietly, staring at Zoro in wonder.

 

“Yeah. So do you want to go back or don't you?” Zoro challenges him, he's not going to offer to kiss a guy if he's going to have to talk him around to it this much.

 

“Yes! I've just never kissed anyone before, I don't really know how and if you're going to give up half a day of your life I don't want to be... bad at it.” The demon says, his voice trailing off into an embarrassed mumble at the end. Zoro grins, yeah, he can work with this. It's not quite a romantic crush on the guy but it's close.

 

“Don't worry, I'll lead. Half a day of my life, do we have a deal?” Zoro asks, leaning into the demon's space, his head not far from the other man's.

 

“Yeah.” the demon agrees with a nod. He looks nervous.

 

Zoro leans in, his hand just touching the side of the demon's face and gently guiding him into the right angle so that Zoro can kiss him and not knock the glasses off that the demon forgot to take off. He kisses the demon, he keeps it pretty chaste but he moves his lips against the demon's enough that it's not just a quick peck on the lips. The demon makes this surprised little noise and clutches his hands in Zoro's shirt.

 

Zoro pulls away but the demon follows him, almost close enough that they're still kissing him.

 

“Another? Free of charge, I promise. Please?” The demon asks quietly, his mouth moving close to Zoro's. Well, if it's free...

 

He kisses the demon again, this time it's a little more intense and he feels the demon shiver slightly. When Zoro really does pull back this time the demon is flushed and looking for all the world like a guy who just had his first kiss, Zoro supposes that he is.

 

“That was... I mean, thank you.” The demon says awkwardly but Zoro catches the way the the demon's eyes flick to Zoro's lips again. The demon gets to his feet and straightens out his clothes, not quite able to look at Zoro. He snaps his fingers and a portal to hell opens up in Zoro's living room, not something that's happened to him before. The demon walks to it and hesitates. He looks back at Zoro and then at the floor.

 

The demon closes his eyes for a moment and then a paper appears in his hands.

 

“You can have this, if you like. It's a summoning spell just for me. It's got my true name on there. I'm Sanji. You can use that to call me here if you want, no price attached to it so I can come and go without you having to pay anything with your life or your soul.” he says, handing the paper to Zoro. Zoro looks down at it in stunned shock. Knowing a demon's true name is a huge thing, Zoro could completely abuse that knowledge and the guy has just given him a spell to pull him out of hell whenever he feels like it.

 

“We could... maybe do that date thing. If you wanted to I mean.” The demon, no, Sanji says. He looks so painfully awkward about this that Zoro can't help but find it both endearing and funny. He doesn't laugh though, that would be genuinely mean.

 

“Yeah, we could.” Zoro agrees and looks down at the paper again.

 

“Okay, I should go. It was nice, I mean, it was great meeting you. I'll see you again sometime maybe, if you're interested.” he says and then hops into the portal before Zoro can say goodbye or anything else for that matter. The portal disappears with a pop and Zoro looks down at the paper with a smile. He just essentially scored a demon's phone number. Nice.


	98. Chapter 98

“I feel ridiculous in this.” Sanji complains, fussing with the beanie hat covering his horns for at least the millionth time that night.

 

“Well if you don't want to come out with me you don't have to.” Zoro points out.

 

“No! I... it was my idea. I want to.” Sanji tells him, looking urgent. Zoro glances down and notices that he can see Sanji's tail curling around the demon's leg. Sanji doesn't seem to be super aware of what his tail does but it's starting to get easier for Zoro to get a read on him with it.

 

In all honesty Zoro had hesitated about summoning Sanji again and had hand copied a version of the summoning spell and after making sure that Sanji's name wasn't in it he got Robin to look it over for him. The witch was way better than him at checking out spells. She had confirmed though that there was nothing untoward in the spell and it really was just a stringless summoning spell. Somehow an incubus wanted to see him so much that he risked so much and agreed to come to the human plane just for that. That's certainly one way to get Zoro's attention.

 

When he had summoned Sanji he was back in his literally sinful outfit, this time some shirt that was entirely pointless as it was made entirely of some kind of see through fabric and then a pair of just as see through trousers with only underwear covering what little modesty Sanji had.

 

“take the contraaaact? Zoro!” Sanji had trailed off, jumping slightly at the sight of him. Sanji snapped his fingers and changed back into more normal looking jeans and a t-shirt.

 

So that was how he got to where he is now, walking down the street with a slightly fussy Sanji. The blond had awkwardly asked him if Zoro could take him on one of these 'dates' and yeah, the demon had actually quoted it. Zoro however had pointed out that Sanji stood out a lot in his natural form and so the man was out in a long coat and a hat, pretty bundled up for spring but Sanji did come from a hell dimension so it's not exactly hot for him.

 

“Come on then, movie and then dinner is the basic starter date but we're not gonna get there if you keep bitching.” He tells Sanji and reaches up to tug the hat over the small red horns where they were starting to show through. Incubi can shape shift into anything but they can never lose the horns and tail, it's just one of the rules they seem to have to stick to. Sanji stares at him with wide eyes and Zoro can hear that Sanji has held his breath. Sanji is clearly unbelievably nervous about this.

 

Zoro steps away from him and starts walking again. He checks the palm of his hand, the navigation spell that his friends put on him years ago is pointing him to where he wants to go.

 

“Why are you using that?” Sanji asks, apparently having shaken his nerves off. The demon stares down at the arrow on Zoro's hand.

 

“Oh, it's a spell that my friends made for me, it counteracts the curse I have.” He answers with a shrug.

 

Sanji squints at him and frowns.

 

“I wasn't looking for it before but yeah, that's a really nasty curse. Generational too, one of your ancestors clearly pissed off some really powerful magic user. Just like you it seems. Did you ever find out who wanted you to get your soul sucked out by me?” Sanji asks curiously.

 

“Yeah, a fucking witch two years above me in my academy. She's obsessed with one of my friends and I caught her sneaking him a love potion, he's immune to them because he's not all human but it's still a shitty thing to do to someone.” Zoro scowls.

 

“Yeah, even I don't do that to people.” Sanji frowns and Zoro hears the smack of his tail lashing against his coat.

 

“Well I caught her and accused her of it and told her to stay away from him and apparently she took that badly. Didn't you know who she was? She summoned you the first time after all.” he points out.

 

“No, incubi and succubi don't get to see the people who summoned them. We can accidentally take their souls if they decide that they want us and that's against our contract, we just get sent right to the target.” Sanji explains casually.

 

Zoro looks down at his hand and turns left. The arrow spins back around towards him and he realises that he should have turned right.

 

“That is a REALLY bad curse. Do you want me to take a look at it?” Sanji offers and Zoro stares at the demon.

 

“You could do something about it? I was told it was unbreakable.” He asks in shock.

 

“For you humans maybe, come on, let me see.” Sanji boasts and tugs Zoro into an alleyway.

 

“This is gonna give a bit of a light show so...” Sanji says, explaining their location.

 

Sanji's eyes glow red and Zoro sees the curl of hellfire around his form. Zoro has to remind himself over and over inside his head that Sanji cannot harm him, but seeing serious demon magic up close like this makes his hair stand on end and tells him to get the hell out of there. Zoro notices the start of a ward forming in his own hands and clearly Sanji notices too.

 

“Oh shit, sorry. Reflex, I trust you.” he apologises quickly and Sanji ducks his head, muttering some embarrassed insult at him.

 

Sanji seems to regain his focus though and he presses his hands to Zoro's chest and pulls back, only when he does there's words and symbols circling in the air in a sick and rotted shade of purple. It's his curse.

 

“This is old shit. Hmn... you can break it but it's super specific. Someone was really strong to make the conditions as near impossible as this.” Sanji sighs and lets it go, his appearance returning to normal.

 

“How?” Zoro asks. If he can break the curse then he really wants to! He doesn't care about it being on him so much, he's used to it even though it's a real pain in his life. But it is generational, he knew that much, and his sister has it too and at this rate her kids will have it. But the thing with generational curses is that if it breaks on one person who has it everyone else affected by it is free too.

 

“On a full moon you have to walk in a circle, counter clockwise three times...” Sanji starts.

 

“That sounds easy enough so far.” Zoro nods.

 

“On the moon.” Sanji adds flatly.

 

“Are you shitting me? That's impossible!” Zoro yells and then realises that he shouldn't be shouting when there's a demon still crackling with the afterglow of hellfire, someone could look over and see.

 

“Not impossible, that's the key, it wouldn't work if it was. You know that. You'd need someone who could get you a portal there AND back, plus a serious protection and breathing spell. If you had that you could do it.” Sanji explains and notes that the hellfire has died down. He fusses with his hat again.

 

“Well, I've got a friend who is a weather witch, she could do the breathing spell for me and another friend could do a protection spell but I have no idea if it would be strong enough to last in space. It doesn't matter though because no one on earth can teleport me there and back.” Zoro says with a scowl. Fuck whoever made this curse.

 

“No one from earth, no.” Sanji says quietly and Zoro looks up from angrily glaring at the pavement to Sanji looking at him seriously.

 

“You could take me?” He asks in wonder.

 

“Zoro, I could take you anywhere in the universe, if you took my hand I could take you anywhere you wanted. The moon is as easy as that for me.” Sanji clicks his fingers and vanishes, he returns a moment later with a rock in his hand and Zoro doesn't have to guess to work out that it's a moon rock. He takes it from Sanji in numb surprise, Usopp would freak out if Zoro gave him this.

 

“Anywhere in the universe?” Zoro wonders aloud.

 

“There are worlds out there that you humans haven't even seen through your telescopes or your scrying pools. Worlds where humans could breathe and live just fine. You can't even imagine them Zoro, I could take you there easily. The moon is nothing.” Sanji says with a smile.

 

Zoro stares at him and this time he's pretty sure that it's him blushing now.

 

“And you've never dated anyone before?” He says, his heart in his chest.

 

“What does that have to do with anything? And no, I haven't.” Sanji scowls, clearly thinking that Zoro is making fun of him.

 

“A date to an untouched alien world that humans have never seen and apparently can't imagine sounds like a pretty amazing date to me.” Zoro points out and Sanji's head jerks up in surprise.

 

“You'd like that?” Sanji asks, clear hope in his voice.

 

“Yeah, I would. Dinner and a movie sounds kind of shit in comparison.” Zoro admits awkwardly. He figured that he'd just start Sanji in at the shallow end but fuck, that kind of thing sounds amazing.

 

“No, no it doesn't. I've been to those places before, but this... this is new to me. I'd like to see human romantic things since... since you said you'd take me on a date.” Sanji assures him.

 

Zoro looks at the demon and finds himself amazed for at least the tenth time tonight. He's studied demons in the academy for years but having a real live one here, one that doesn't want to hurt him, it's amazing. What Sanji considers normal is so incredible to him and what Zoro considers normal is apparently wondrous to Sanji. It's exciting.

 

He gets closer and kisses Sanji, just lightly but Sanji reacts as if Zoro has done something incredible and life altering he melts and clings to Zoro needily and Zoro can't help but kiss him again, it's pretty flattering to be able to affect Sanji that much. When he pulls back Sanji looks thoroughly swept off of his feet. The interesting thing is that he can tell that this isn't a sex thing for Sanji. Sanji is literally a demon of sex and lust, nothing like that would phase him, but this is emotional and Sanji seems utterly overwhelmed by it.

 

“That would be a pretty amazing second date.” he tells Sanji quietly and the blond nods so hard his head might fall off.

 

“Yes, okay, second date, yes, great, I can- yes.” Sanji says in one long stream. Zoro laughs and pulls Sanji out of the alleyway, they're going to miss their movie.

 

Throughout the night Sanji continues to be amazed by everything that Zoro does. He's already aware of films and popcorn of course but being in an actual movie theatre is new for him, apparently people don't stupidly summon incubi for sex in movie theaters which is good to know.

 

“Okay, I'm curious. We don't know a lot about demons what with the fact that you usually are trying to kill us or get our souls.” Zoro says after the waiter leaves, having given them their food.

 

“Hey, everyone's gotta do something for a living.” Sanji shrugs and Zoro's mind boggles at the apparent mundanity of conning humans out of their souls.

 

“But answer me this. I know people can become demons if they get corrupted enough or make a big deal, but is that how you're all made? Were you human once?” He asks and eats a forkful of pasta.

 

“No, I was born a demon. The more humans there are the more demons they are, we have to expand to keep up with you.” Sanji answers with a shrug.

 

“Did you choose to be an incubus or is that like... a species?” He asks and watches Sanji bite into his steak, sharp fangs cutting through it easily.

 

“No... it's not a job. Well, it is, but I've always had it. After I'd grown up a little I mean, then I had to train and learn the right magic... but yeah. Always have been.” Sanji answers with a shrug.

 

“But did you choose it? Or did you have to be one?” Zoro presses him eagerly. Sanji chews his steak and looks displeased.

 

“I didn't choose it. It's inherited. A family thing really, not that I know my parents. A demon hunter killed them when I was really young and nearly killed me too. My old man saved me.” Sanji tells him and guilt runs down the back of Zoro's neck, thick and uncomfortable.

 

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.” he apologises quietly.

 

“It's fine. It was a very long time ago, anyway, you'd be hard pressed to find any demon who hasn't lost someone to a human. We take your souls when we can and you kill us. I guess it's just how it goes.” Sanji tells him but Zoro gets the sense that it bothers Sanji more than he says it does.

 

“No, making your date talk about how their parents died is a bad thing to do on a date.” Zoro tells him and Sanji takes his gaze from the steak and looks at Zoro.

 

“Is it?” Sanji asks.

 

“Yeah, it is.” he nods.

 

“How about I trade you. My parents were killed by fae, that's why I trained to be a witch.” Zoro tells him.

 

“Ugh. I hate fae.” the demon says bitterly and stabs a potato with a fork.

 

“Demons are allergic right?” he asks.

 

“Yeah, they feel awful and their magic hurts like you wouldn't believe.” Sanji growls and it reverberates through the room enough that people look around. Humans are hardwired to fear demons when they're not hiding themselves. Sanji jolts and makes himself unreasonably beautiful, he gives himself a rugged jawline, designer stubble and magazine worthy clothes. Sanji presses his palm to the table and the ripple of glamour spreads outwards along with a slow... kind... of...

 

Everything feels fine. What was he thinking about? Zoro keeps trying to look at the man opposite him but aside from registering that he's incredibly handsome his eyes skip over him and he finds that he can't remember what he was doing. He feels nice.

 

Fingers snap in front of his face and a man who looks slightly like Sanji appears, the fog in Zoro's brain lifts.

 

“Sorry about that, I didn't mean to hit you with that too but I needed to get everyone.” the man tells him.

 

“Sanji? You look... really different. That's some pretty hardcore glamour there, I knew that you weren't real when I first met you but this isn't so obvious. I can still see it though, even if you didn't look different from before.” Zoro frowns.

 

“Sorry, let me just...” Sanji looks around and checks that no one is looking before he drops back down to how he was a moment ago. Now that Zoro's looking at him though he can still see something wrong. Zoro frowns as his memory recalls the spell but as he runs it around his fingers he knows that it's right. He holds his hand out near Sanji's face and sees the light blue flicker over the blond's skin.

 

“You're still glamoured.” Zoro says slowly. Sanji stares down at his plate uncomfortably.

 

“So? It's a date, aren't you supposed to look good?” Sanji mutters and pokes at what remains of his steak.

 

“Sure, for someone that you're trying to impress or get into bed with, but you already know that how you look doesn't do anything for me, so this isn't for me. So why are you wearing it? What's your true form?” he asks.

 

Sanji chews his lip uncertainly and looks warily at Zoro. Is Sanji anxious right now?

 

“Do you really want to see? It's not impressive or anything. I don't have massive wings or anything really demonic looking if that's what you're hoping for.” The blond says like it's no big deal.

 

“I'm just hoping to see what you really look like. Please? You don't have to if you don't want to.” Zoro adds at the end, already aware that he's not exactly being polite on this date.

 

Sanji winces and shuts his eyes but he drops the glamour, the hint of it that his spell revealed dissipates. Sanji still looks more or less the same, only now Zoro can see that his skin isn't what the beauty industry calls perfect. He's got freckles and he's a little on the pale side. His ears are a bit pointed but it doesn't scream demon, if you can't see the horns and tail Sanji could easily be mistaken for a human with some non human parentage. His hair isn't the smooth slick waves that it appeared to be but instead it's unruly curls and waves that go in all sorts of directions, even under the hat that he's wearing it's pretty wild. Interestingly it isn't the brilliant gold blond that it was before, instead it's closer to a shade between blond and brown, something half and half. He's slightly skinnier too and as Sanji uneasily opens his eyes he can see that they're not the tropical ocean blue that they appeared to be, they're more of a pale blue that's almost grey.

 

Sanji snaps his fingers and slides on the same glasses that he had on before, he blinks once or twice as if adjusting to the change and looks at Zoro warily.

 

“That's it? You look almost exactly the same.” Zoro says in surprise.

 

“I'd rather look like how I did a moment ago.” Sanji mutters.

 

“I prefer you looking like you.” he tells him and looks at Sanji some more. Zoro might not be attracted to people but he's not blind, he can appreciate good looks. Sanji's not model material right now, or not the conventional kind anyway, he's more boy-next-door looking. He's still very pretty and no doubt would still have women and men longing after him, but he looks more normal now and in Zoro's opinion better for it.

 

“Yeah, well. That makes one of us.” Sanji grumbles, leaning back in his chair.

 

“An insecure incubus, that's something I never thought I would see. You can look however you're comfortable with Sanji, I was just curious. I'm not gonna tell you how to look.” He tells him and Sanji makes a small gesture with his fingers and it back to looking how he did with the slightest bit of glamour on. He wonders if this is the demon equivalent of makeup. He keeps the glasses though.

 

“You're really interesting.” He says after a moment and Sanji smiles slightly even though he still looks a little awkward about it.

 

After that it's Sanji's turn to question him. Sanji asks him about his sister and his friends, all of them witches except for his sister. You don't train at a magic academy without making friends with the other students. Or at least he hasn't. He tells Sanji about his taste in films, giving the other man an idea beyond the two that they've seen together. He answers weird questions that Sanji has about why humans like chocolate and why they like chili and why they sometimes put them together.

 

By the time that they walk back to where Zoro lives, thanks to the arrow on his hand, they've covered almost all of the normal first date topics, even though Sanji clearly doesn't get that it's what they're doing.

 

“You know, you're pretty good a this so called human dating thing. I wouldn't know it was a first for you.” He tells Sanji as he opens the door to his home.

 

“Really?” the blond asks in obvious pleasure.

 

“Yeah.” Zoro agrees, shutting the door after Sanji. The blond pauses in the middle of the room and looks around at Zoro.

 

“From what I understand this would be the point that I'd drag you into the bedroom and fuck your brains out, isn't that how human dates work?” Sanji says thoughtfully.

 

“Not for me, sorry to disappoint.” Zoro sighs and tosses his keys into the tray by the door. If Sanji was hoping that Zoro would suddenly be attracted to him then he's going to be let down.

 

“No, I'm not disappointed. It's actually good to feel like this is different to what I usually do. Anyway, I like your soul where it is right now.” Sanji tells him.

 

“Gee. Thanks.” he says flatly.

 

“Zoro?” Sanji asks quietly.

 

“Yeah?” Zoro asks curiously.

 

“What I do... what I am I mean. The whole incubus thing isn't going to be a problem right? I do fuck _lots_ of people you know.” Sanji tells him.

 

“I already knew that, I know what you are. And no, I don't care. It's not like I'm competing with them am I?” Zoro assures him.

 

“Not at all!” the incubus says brightly.

 

“I'm not sure there's a precedent for humans dating incubi or succubi but complaining about them being either seems kind of stupid.” he reasons.

 

Sanji lights up in glee and Zoro's heart flutters a little at the sight of him.

 

“So I was good enough? We're dating then?” Sanji gasps, clutching his hands together. Jesus, if Sanji keeps being so sweet Zoro's gonna get sick from it like Chopper did at the fair with cotton candy.

 

“Yeah, I'd like that if you want to as well. But that does imply more dates...” Zoro trails off, hoping that Sanji will offer.

 

“Do you want me to take you to another planet? I can take you to another planet. I'll pick the best planet, it won't even rain glass or anything!” Sanji tells him excitedly.

 

“That sounds great.” Zoro grins. Sanji beams and Zoro can already see him planning.

 

“Good night Sanji.” Zoro tells him and leans in to kiss him gently. Sanji is almost buzzing with happiness by this point and when Zoro pulls back and smiles at him.

 

“Good night, I'd better go. I had a really great time Zoro. I'm glad that you summoned me back.” Sanji smiles brightly.

 

“Yeah, me too.” Zoro agrees and Sanji flashes him another bright smile before jumping into another portal to hell and vanishing. Zoro's just glad that doesn't affect the varnish on the floor, he'd hate to lose his security deposit. 


	99. Chapter 99

A/n: I want to stress that this incubus!Sanji AU ISN’T going to end up being it’s own fic. I fell for that once already *stares at fluency* but I will write this when I feel sad and want myself to feel better

 

“Brat! Your magazines are here!” Zeff shouts up the stairs, holding the stack in his arm with a scowl. Overly pretty men pouting on glossy pages look up at him and Zeff can’t help but resent the humans that posed for these, they don’t even know what they’re doing but they’ll make his kid miserable.

 

“Coming!” Sanji shouts and leaps down the stairs three at a time. Sanji rounds the corner suspiciously bright eyed and happy looking.

 

“Hn, you look happy.” He tells Sanji, holding the magazines out of reach.

 

“I didn’t realise that was a crime. Give them to me.” Sanji demands, reaching up for the magazines. Sanji could just magic them out of Zeff’s hands but he can do it back to Sanji and no one wants to get caught in an hour long tug of war like they have in the past.

 

“Why are you so happy?” Zeff asks suspiciously.

 

“None of your business, but don’t worry it’s wearing off. Now give me my magazines!” Sanji snaps at him and Zeff rolls his eyes. His kid isn’t going to give up so he might as well hand them over.

 

“Here, go make yourself miserable with them.” He sighs and Sanji magics them to his own hands now that Zeff isn’t going to fight him for them.

 

“I’m not making myself miserable, I’m researching for work. If I don’t keep up with what humans find attractive then I won’t be any good, if incubi didn’t do this then there’d be assholes running after humans in powdered wigs and ruffs. We _have_ to do it.” Sanji insists.

 

“Yeah and you always spend weeks afterwards hating everything about yourself. You know that even _they_ don’t look like this? It’s all magic that they do afterwards with their… whatever you call them. The boxes with the pictures and the typing.” Zeff says, tapping one pointed fingernail on the man on the cover.

 

“Computers old man, they’re called computers. And what does it matter anyway? I have magic too.” Sanji sneers, leaning forward and instantly looking just like the man on the cover including slicked red hair and the clearly altered jawline that the model doesn’t even have.

 

“Yeah and how long can you hold glamour that thick?” he challenges. Sanji sighs and shakes it off, settling back to the low level of glamour he usually sticks at. He still doesn’t have his glasses on though, kid’s gonna give himself a migraine again.

 

“What does it matter? They stop noticing the fine details after ten minutes, tops.” Sanji points out.

 

“So you get to spend all of your time never looking like yourself.” Zeff argues back.

 

“I look how I HAVE to and how I WANT to!” Sanji shouts at him.

 

“Besides,” Sanji mutters, clutching the magazines close to his chest. “There are only a couple of people who want to see what I really look like.”

 

With that Sanji vanishes in a puff of smoke, no doubt only to the floor above. Zeff frowns, a couple of people? Usually Sanji would just shriek at him that Zeff was the only one who cared about that.

 

When dinner time rolls around and Sanji doesn’t show up Zeff allows him an hour of grace, magazine day is one of the worst days of the month. Sure Sanji gets weekly ones but one or two don’t hurt him that much. Today is the day when they all come at once, the glossy monthly high fashion ones especially. After an hour though Zeff is mad at his kid and awkwardly climbs the stairs on his own with Sanji’s food in hand. He could just teleport up there but it’s the principle of the thing.

 

He pushes Sanji’s door open expect to find Sanji where he usually does at this time of night on magazine day, curled up in a ball under his blankets with a tearstained face, a broken mirror and magazine pages everywhere. All incubi make themselves look ‘better’ than they actually do, even when they’re not working. But for some reason Sanji considers himself so far from how he’s supposed to look that it hurts him over and over again.

 

Sanji isn’t there though, his room isn’t a mess and his mirror isn’t shattered. Sanji isn’t even in the room. Instead there are carefully removed pages from the magazines in a pile by the mirror and though the floor is littered with paper it’s not fashion pages.

 

“What the hell?” Zeff mutters, looking down as he slides closer to them. They’re not fashion shoots, they’re star charts and Sanji is nowhere to be seen. 


	100. Chapter 100

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This still isn't going to be it's own AU. for real. I'm just writing it when I feel bad. DON'T QUESTION MY DENIAL! TT_TT

He really wants to have a second date with Sanji. He really wants to talk to him again, to spend time with him, even if Sanji doesn't take him to some alien world. Though the thought of that alone is enough to make him want to summon the demon back. It's the little things that make him want to call Sanji back, like how happily Sanji's tail was moving when he agreed that they were dating, how bright he smiled. He agreed to date Sanji.

 

He's regretted it a little sense then. Academically at least. Sanji is... Sanji is great. But he is still a demon. Sure, he means him no harm but surely the whole thing can't end well, right? Even if he imagines the most far out things, that Sanji will really love him even without Zoro ever being sexual with him, if he imagines that maybe Sanji is his one true love and he lives happily ever after with him and then dies a happy old man. Well... even then, he still dies. Sanji has been alive for who knows how long and he'll still be alive long after Zoro is dead. Is that an okay thing to do to Sanji? But then again if Sanji is far older than him, which he surely must be, then he's old enough to make his own choices.

 

But what if people find out about Sanji? He hadn't given Sanji much of the benefit of the doubt before can he really expect other-

 

“Zoro!”

 

Zoro jolts in his seat and looks up to see half of the class and his teacher staring at him. His teacher is looking considerably annoyed, pointed elven ears lowered in irritation.

 

“Uh...” He responds and his teacher glowers.

 

“I was asking a question about exorcisms, if you're not too busy to answer.” The man says primly.

 

“Sure.” He says and remembers right away that this teacher hates anything but strict politeness.

 

“If you would be so kind to enlighten us about demons that you cannot exorcise. How about...” The teacher trails off, narrowing blue eyes at Zoro. Zoro's mind flares over the idea of 'please not incubi' just as he remembers that the kind of surface urgent thoughts directed at him is just the kind of thing that teacher can read. Fucking elves.

 

“Incubi.” The teacher says with a nasty smile. That fucker.

 

Zoro stands up and his brain whirrs over facts about incubi and everything that he knows about them. He's not exactly the world's best student but when he is good at a class he is very good at it. Demonology is one of his best subjects.

 

“Ah... people don't have a chance to exorcise incubi or succubi usually because it's very difficult to resist their lure,” Zoro says, not saying that it's plenty easy if you're asexual. But maybe seeing as he's currently dating an incubus that might make it hard to argue that particular point.

 

“So you're saying that you don't know.” The teacher says with a smile.

 

“No, I'm saying that there isn't a lot of data.” Zoro replies stiffly.

 

“Regular demon traps don't work on incubi or succubi,” He continues, he knows that damn well. His home has traps in it and Sanji didn't so much as bat an eyelid.

 

“A specific higher level demon trap will work but that requires set up that you don't usually get time for. If you can catch one though you _can_ exorcise him or her with one of Spina's spells but not Agrippa's. So, really I don't know why you asked me about incubi when you wanted to talk about demons that you can't exorcise because you _can_ exorcise them.” He says with a wide grin and sits down.

 

His teacher is furious, so much so that the air around him is starting to warp and shift unpleasantly and it's making Zoro's teeth itch. Stupid elven magic.

 

“You've got a smart mouth Roronoa. I expect a five thousand word essay on how to kill incubi on my desk by Monday of next week seeing as you're so convinced that you know more than the rest of the class.” he says darkly and Zoro bites down on the insult that he wants to say.

 

Nami moves her hand on the desk next to him and the words 'nice job there, idiot' appear on Zoro's paper in Nami's curved script, having slid off of her page onto his. He shoots her an unimpressed look. It's not his fault that his teacher is an ass.

 

 

 

He's sat in front of his blank paper for the second hour in a row. He's gone back and forth through all of his demonology textbooks and extra ones that he got out of the library but he can't make himself start writing it. All he can think about is Sanji. He closes his eyes and sighs, Sanji's not sucking the soul out of him but he's not doing his grades any favors. He gives up and walks over to his sofa and sits on the arm, looking out at the window. He chants Sanji's incantation, only having to glance briefly at the scroll that he keeps in his bookcase between 'Dante's inferno' and 'basic runes' to do it.

 

No sooner have the words left his lips than a man appears in his living room along with a full length mirror that he has his hand wrapped around, apparently he was in the middle of adjusting it. Zoro jolts in alarm, that's not Sanji at all. It's only when the man turns to look at him that Zoro relaxes again. It's not Sanji's face that he sees, it's some movie star guy looking at him. Pale skin, dark eyes, and slicked back black hair that's only slightly marred by the smallish and slightly curved horns that Zoro recognizes. Zoro has a flicker of recognition just as Sanji drops the glamour.

 

“Hey, wasn't that the guy from that thing?” He asks with a frown. Sanji rolls his eyes and sighs despairingly.

 

“That guy. From that thing.” Sanji repeats, squinting his eyes at Zoro.

 

“Yeah, you know. The film.” Zoro elaborates.

 

Sanji groans and hides his face in the magazine that he's holding.

 

“Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a highly acclaimed actor and the object of many people's fantasies and if I could get his FUCKING EYEBROWS RIGHT then my night won't have been completely wasted!” Sanji snarls and turns back to his mirror, shrugging the actor's appearance back on.

 

“Oh great, now his nose is wrong too. I'm going to have to start all over.” Sanji mutters and drops it again.

 

“Sorry, I didn't know that you were busy.” Zoro says in embarrassment. It's not like Sanji just sits there waiting for Zoro to summon him, of course he has other things to do. It's interesting that the two things that he was holding came with him though, he didn't expect that from the spell but then again the spell does summon demons complete with clothes, so maybe it's the same logic.

 

“No, it's fine. I was just going in circles anyway. What were you doing?” the now blonde demon asks him curiously.

 

“Trying to write an essay and failing. I got it as a punishment for 'arguing' with my professor. All I did was answer his question, not my fault it was a stupid question.” Zoro says bitterly.

 

“Oh? What was it on?” Sanji questions him and Zoro realises that it's probably not best to tell Sanji that his current essay is about how to kill incubi. He's not even sure that he's going to write it, or not how his professor had in mind anyway.

 

“He asked about exorcisms.” he says instead. Sanji drops himself onto the sofa, sprawls out like he owns the place and smiles up at him. Sanji isn't as nervous as he had been in parts of their last date, but then this isn't a date. The knowledge that he is dating a demon rolls over him again. It still doesn't seem quite real.

 

“I've never had anyone try to do that to me.” The demon says thoughtfully.

 

“I think people usually have other things on their mind when you're with them.” Zoro points out and a devious expression slides over Sanji's face.

 

“Well I _am_ very good.” Sanji boasts and pouts at Zoro and bats his lashes up at him. Zoro isn't sure if Sanji is exaggerating and playing around or if people really do find that attractive. Asking would probably be a blow to Sanji's ego. He's gonna do it anyway.

 

“Do people actually fall for that look you just gave me?” He asks with a snort and Sanji no longer looks flirtatious and instead looks more than a little angry.

 

“I'll have you know that I can bring men to their knees begging for me with this face. I've seen so many people swoon for me that you wouldn't even believe the number.” Sanji snaps.

 

“Hm. Speaking of seeing, do you need those glasses that I see you wearing sometimes?” he asks curiously.

 

Sanji's mouth opens and then shuts. A smile spreads across Sanji's face and it reaches his eyes in a way that shows that Sanji is actually really happy.

 

“What?” He asks curiously.

 

“It's just that it's really different talking to you than other humans.” Sanji says.

 

“Usually,” Sanji says, moving so that he's sat down on his knees instead of sprawled on his back on the sofa.

 

“Usually I'd do this.”

 

Sanji's glamour intensifies a little, he can see it now that he's watching it. Sanji's lashes look longer and the flick of peacock coloured line along those lashes gets a little brighter, giving Zoro almost no choice but to look there. Sanji's glasses appear, sitting lower on his nose to that Sanji can look up at him past them. Sanji moves forwards, almost on his hands and knees on Zoro's sofa.

 

“Are you saying...” Sanji says in a breathy voice as he slides them off. The frames hang loose in Sanji's hand and Sanji brings them to his mouth so that he's almost biting the arm of one of them between his too white teeth.

 

“That you want me to wear them?” He asks, sliding the arm of the glasses out and Zoro watches as they run over Sanji's magazine perfect lips. How had no one ever kissed Sanji before?

 

“You think that they look good on me?” Sanji says in a voice that's almost a pleasured sigh. He doesn't quite flutter his lashes at Zoro but he blinks deliberately, the dark lashes fanned out against smooth skin, before looking up at Zoro. His eyes are all but an advert for mascara and the way that his lips are slick and slightly parted is probably enough to send most people's minds into the gutter.

 

“You want to know what I want?” Zoro responds and takes Sanji's glasses from him. He holds them up and looks through them at a distance. He sees the world warp a little through them, yeah, they're real glasses alright. Sanji isn't just wearing them for looks, he actually does need them.

 

“I want you to wear them if they actually help you.” He tells Sanji and carefully slides them back onto Sanji's face. He's careful to slide them over Sanji's ears and not just poke him with them, as he does so however he can't help but see that Sanji's ears are a little more pointed. His hair is a little darker too. Sanji's glamour isn't so strong right now. Is it because he was using a lot of it earlier to be that actor or because he was just turning it up a lot then? Or maybe, and here's the thought that makes Zoro's heart flutter a little, maybe Sanji is relaxing around him some more and he doesn't feel the need to turn it up so high.

 

He pulls back and watches as Sanji sets his glasses a little straighter and tries to repress this small secret little smile. Sanji looks back up at Zoro who is half on and half off of the arm of the sofa above him.

 

“I don't have to think about everything that you want and making myself change to fit it. I can actually enjoy just... this.” Sanji tells him quietly. Zoro's heart thuds a little harder in his chest. Sanji isn't being an incubus and pulling Zoro's sex drive to make him lose his soul, this isn't an engineered attempt to be Zoro's personal fantasy. No, this is far more deadly. Sanji is being himself and being honest and Zoro loves it.

 

Shit, he loves it? That's an awfully strong word isn't it? Okay, he doesn't love Sanji though, though his brain quietly adds 'not yet'. Fuck.

 

Oh well, self preservation has never been one of Zoro's strongest traits. He slides down off of the arm of the sofa and kisses Sanji. The blond sighs happily and Zoro can feel the way that Sanji's tail curls around Zoro's thigh. When the kiss finishes he still stays close to Sanji, only pulling back far enough so that he can look at Sanji's face properly.

 

“Did you... still want that date?” The blond asks him uncertainly.

 

“The one to another planet?” Zoro questions. Sanji nods enthusiastically, making his earrings chime has he does it. His make more noise than Zoro's do.

 

“I do. But... I think we're both supposed to be studying right now. I've got other schoolwork to do and you have to pretend to be that guy.” Zoro tells him.

 

“Joseph Gordon-Levitt, you fucking peasant.” Sanji growls, shoving Zoro in the shoulder.

 

“Yeah, him.” Zoro agrees. Sanji makes a despairing kind of sound and gets up off of the sofa, grabbing his magazine up off of the floor.

 

“Go do your essay then.” Sanji tells him. Zoro looks at Sanji for a second and remembers his teacher's demand to write about how to kill an incubus.

 

“Fuck that essay. I've got useful work that I could be doing.” he says with a shake of his head.

 

“Oh?” Sanji asks curiously.

 

“Studying and preparing for my advanced wards class. We've got to try to interfere with another classmate with a ward. My friend is part selkie so I'm going to try to keep him out of his locker with a selkie ward. I feel bad for him though, he's got to get me back somehow and I'm full human so not much works on me.” Zoro answers, already imagining the look on Usopp's face as he tries to get into his locker. It'll be both funny and get him credit in his class. Usopp's probably going to find another way to get him back though, but he'll still be helping his friend, he's just giving him... motivation.

 

“Plenty of things work on you humans, just not spells that demons are willing to share with you.” Sanji purrs at him and Zoro is burning with curiosity about them but Sanji probably won't tell him. Still, they were supposed to be talking about arranging that date.

 

“How about Saturday? Unless that's a busy night for you. Do incubi have busy times compared to others? Some kind of demon rush hour?” He wonders aloud.

 

“Idiot. I choose when I work and what contracts I take. I can be free Saturday for you if that's when you want me to take you there.” Sanji says as if Zoro is stupid for asking.

 

“So you're a freelance incubus? That's really interesting, do you-” He starts to ask. He's never really thought about the actual organization of demons beyond where they fall in hierarchies and what classifications they're in and so on. It never occurred to him to wonder how and when Sanji gets his contracts like the one he foolishly accepted for Zoro.

 

“Focus, idiot. What time on Saturday?” Sanji demands, smacking him on the head with his magazine.

 

“Uh... seven?” Zoro suggests.

 

“Good. You should eat before though, I can't exactly take my food with me, humans shouldn't eat our food.” Sanji tells him.

 

“Yeah, I don't feel like ending up like Persephone. I'll eat early.” Zoro snorts.

 

“Hey, Persephone is queen. But I don't think she'd like you trying to muscle in on that territory.” Sanji tells him with a fanged grin. If even half of the things that Zoro has been taught about Persephone is true then he absolutely does not want to fuck with her or piss her off.

 

“So. Saturday at seven. I'll... see you then.” Sanji says, suddenly looking a little awkward. Zoro is about to question it until Sanji leans in really quickly and kisses him. It's this tiny hesitant thing and Sanji jumps back afterwards, goes red and drops through the floor in a portal back to his own plane of reality.

 

Zoro runs his thumb over his lips and smiles. It takes a minute or two for him to notice that Sanji's mirror is still propped up against Zoro's wall. He walks over to it with a grin and recites Sanji's summoning spell. The blonde appears with a scowl wraps his hand around his mirror and vanishes with a muttered 'shut up, asshole'


	101. Chapter 101

“You are the worst haunted sword ever, and I own Sandai Kitetsu.” Zoro tells the blue and black sword at his hip.

 

 _“Don’t you dare compare me to that asshole!”_ Sanji snarls, his voice ringing in Zoro’s head. Zoro feels Sandai Kitetsu vibrate angrily in its sheath and Zoro rolls his eyes. Great, now they’re fighting.

 

Zoro has to admit that Sanji is at least more sentient than Sandai Kitetsu is. His cursed sword is more of a feeling, a sense of malice with intent. Sanji is fully sentient, Zoro’s pretty sure that Sanji is a ghost that’s crammed into the sword but Sanji never elaborates on that front.

 

“At least Sandai Kitetsu doesn’t refuse to come out and fight.” Zoro points out. In their last fight Sanji had been angry at him and had stubbornly refused to come out of his sheath no matter how hard Zoro pulled.

 

 _“Well I have standards. Besides, it’s not like you were in any danger, you’re just being a child about not getting your way.”_ Sanji argues back.

 

“I’m a swordsman, you’re a sword, you’re supposed to do what I say.” Zoro barks at him but all Sanji gives him back is fake _“wah-wah”_ crying noises.

 

“Arguing with your sword again Zoro?” Robin asks with a wry smile. Zoro looks up at her and he feels Sanji purr, he’s always weird around women.

 

“He started it.” Zoro mutters.

 

No one but Zoro can hear Sanji, for whatever reason. The crew had been a little convinced that Zoro was mad until Zoro challenged them to test him. They tested by getting Zoro to look one way and showed cards to Sanji, telling Sanji to let Zoro know what they were.

 

Sanji made him get every single one wrong. Out of 100 cards Sanji made him fuck up every time, the bastard. Only at that point Robin said that it was almost completely impossible to be wrong that many times in a row without doing it deliberately and therefore the sword was just lying to Zoro. After that they all accepted Sanji’s sentience (and his shitty personality). Sanji and the crew occasionally communicate via Zoro. Sanji’s only other communication is with Sandai Kitetsu and Sanji loathes that sword.

 

 _“You started it, using me to kill some nobody like I’m some common blade.”_ Sanji mutters and that sounds like truth. Zoro’s mouth pulls down, he did do that. It’s not his fault though, nothing feels as good as fighting with Sanji in his hand. Could he be blamed for wanting more of that?

 

“Hey!” Zoro protests, looking down at where Sanji hangs by his hip.

 

“I see.” Robin smiles slightly and then ducks back inside with her book in hand.

 

Zoro sighs and climbs up the mast and into his weights room. He pulls his sword cleaning kit out and settles Sanji and his sheath on his lap. He should apologise but he’s not really sorry for trying to use Sanji in any fight, but he is sorry for Sanji being insulted by it.

 

 _“You’re just trying to butter me up to make me forgive you.”_ Sanji accuses him.

 

“If I used actual butter on you, you’d kill me.” Zoro says with a grin and Sanji snorts in amusement inside Zoro’s head.

 

_“Not gonna deny that.”_

 

“So come on then.” Zoro says and pulls lightly at Sanji’s hilt but Sanji isn’t budging. Clearly he wants a full apology and probably a decent amount of grovelling too.

 

“Well I can always polish Sand-” Zoro starts to say but Sanji’s pops free from his sheath without Zoro even touching him. Territorial as always.

 

Zoro smiles and runs his finger along the black metal of Sanji’s blade and seeing the way that the blue sheen swirls on it like oil on water. Sanji is an undeniably beautiful blade. He starts to polish Sanji and he gets a pleased sigh in his head and the occasional groan when Zoro polishes out some mark on him. If Sanji was human he’d have him bonelessly sprawled across his lap as he works knots out of his muscles.

 

Zoro has almost finished polishing Sanji when a bang makes him leap to his feet.

 

 _“What the fuck was that and why did it interrupt me getting polished goddamnit?!”_ Sanji snaps. Zoro looks out of the window and sees a ship pulling up against theirs and Franky fishing Luffy out of the water below them. They’re being boarded.

 

 _“Oh, it’s on. Move it muscle head.”_ Sanji says and Zoro leaps down onto the deck.

 

Zoro draws Wado, he doesn’t want to draw Sandai Kitetsu unless he really has to. Sanji has his back when real fights kick in, but unless he has to go three sword style then Sanji gets offended at sharing him, the possessive bastard.

 

He slashes one pirate overboard with Wado and watches the others. Someone on the other ship fires their canons and Robin catches the cannonball with a net of hands. Another clips the side of the Sunny, the adam wood is tough enough not to crack, but it shears off a chunk of metal from the cannonball and cuts Nami as it flies by.

 

Sanji bursts into fumingly angry flames and Zoro lights up in excitement.

 

 _“USE ME.”_ Sanji snarls and Zoro leaps aboard the other ship, Sanji lending him strength and making his movements light, something Sanji only lends him when he really means business.

 

The pair of them slice a burning path through pirates until they surrender. Sanji deflects bullets and cuts other swords clean in half. He and Sanji end up in a loop of excitement and vengeance, he can feel the wicked thrill that Sanji gets from defending their crew and crushing other people underfoot for daring to threaten them. He can feel the speed and lightness of movement that Sanji runs through him and between Sanji’s abilities and Zoro’s skill and strength he feels like a god. Oh if he had been in possession of Sanji when he fought Mihawk things could have gone so differently. Sanji feels what he feels and that amps up Sanji’s drive, trying to compete with him almost, which in turn gets Zoro even more fired up. All in all it’s bad news for the pirates attacking them.

 

Eventually Sanji and Zoro stand blood splattered and victorious, watching the attacker’s ship fade into the distance. He still has Sanji in hand when the man pulls back his abilities. He feels a ghostly touch around his ribs and a purring voice in his ear.

 

 _“Oh no, looks like I need polishing again.”_ Sanji says silkily.

 

“You’re a hedonist. You know that, right?” Zoro says and tilts the blade to look at it. It flashes in the light in a way that reminds Zoro of a smile. He climbs back into his weights room and to his polishing kit, it’s always nice to be in Sanji’s good books. 


	102. Braces

“If I don't get a girlfriend I'm going to be stuck playing video games forever with you until I'm old and alone and die of... of...” Sanji trails off trying to think of the right dramatic word. 

“Virginity?” Zoro suggests flatly and corners irritatingly well, putting more space between their two karts. 

“Don't be an asshole! Besides you can't die from that and you're a virgin too!” Sanji snaps, smacking Zoro in the arm with the flat of his hand. 

“Yeah, but unlike you I don't care at all.” Zoro responds, looking sidelong at him. 

“Well I care. We're fifteen and I've never even kissed anyone. Maybe when I get these stupid braces off next month...” he mutters, his tongue running along the metal tracks on his teeth. 

“If some girl cares about your braces so much that it'd stop her then she's not worth kissing.” Zoro says a little harshly and his kart careens off of the track on the screen with Bowser's sad noises following it down. Sanji takes first place as Zoro respawns and takes the opportunity to look at Zoro through his hair. Much as he'd swear up and down that it's not true Sanji has spent a lot of time considering what it might be like to kiss his hot neighbor Zoro. 

“That's easy for you to say, you don't have them.” Sanji says in response. 

“I don't care about them.” Zoro says easily and Sanji's mouth runs ahead of his brain for the millionth time in his life. 

“Prove it.” he says. 

The two of them freeze and Sanji considers the merits of eating his controller whole and choking to death as an excuse to get out of this situation. He just challenged Zoro to kiss him. What... why is he so dumb?!

“Prove it?” Zoro echoes, his voice quiet. 

Zoro is giving him an out, he should... he should take it. He should laugh and say something dumb or... or SOMETHING. 

Zoro's eyes flick down to Sanji's metal filled mouth and any reply that he was trying to gather together promptly dies. 

“I... ah...” He burbles instead and Zoro's pink tongue flicks out and wets his lip really quickly and vaporizes what's left of Sanji's brain. 

His body shoves his dead brain aside and follows the millions of daydreams and what-ifs to make him lean in towards Zoro. Zoro has the same idea and leans in as well. He catches Sanji's chin with his fingers and tilts his head just right so that the angle is perfect. Zoro has no right to be this smooth.

Zoro's lips are soft, softer than Sanji would have expected for another guy's but just right too. Despite all of their arguments, fights and aggression Zoro's kiss is gentle and melts Sanji's heart. He's right too, the braces don't matter and he really doesn't seem to care. 

So Sanji has his first kiss with the boy next door that he has been obsessed with for most of his life in one way or another, he has his first kiss to the rainbow road music on Mario Kart and as a result of him being an idiot. He is more than okay with all of those things.


	103. Chapter 103

Zoro is sprawled back on his own bed, wearing nothing but his boxers and Sanji is trying his best not to stare.

 

“I still don’t understand why Nami is bankrolling this whole thing, she gave you what $800? As if I didn’t owe her enough money.” Zoro says. The movement of his adam’s apple as he speaks makes Sanji feel… weird. Instead, he focuses on the wardrobe of new clothes in front of him.

 

“She said it wasn’t to be added to your debt, she made it sound like she was losing some kind of deal with Robin. I didn’t ask. All I know is I have to help your incompetent ass and return anything you don’t use.” Sanji explains.

 

“What does Robin even have to- you know what, I don’t even want to know.” Zoro sighs from behind Sanji.

 

Sanji slides his fingers over a pair of sleek black trousers, starkly pressed to look extra sharp. Black was a classic for a reason. He pulls the pair off of the hook and throws it at Zoro.

 

“Put those on and don’t remove the tags.” Sanji commands him.

 

Zoro rolls off of the bed and slides into his new black trousers. They are tight, not so much so that Zoro can’t comfortably do the button up but they were clearly made for men without Zoro’s musculature. He can see every hill and valley in Zoro’s impressive thighs, not to mention the swell of his ass which unfortunately draws the fabric awfully tight around Zoro’s… well. If Sanji didn’t already know what kind of underwear Zoro was wearing then he could certainly describe it from this, hell he could probably tell an interested bystander a good deal about Zoro’s dick.

 

“Take them off.” Sanji says, his throat dry.

 

“Why? They fit.” Zoro protests.

 

“Just because you can get into something doesn’t mean it fits. Do what I tell you, I’ll get you the next size up. I anticipated this.” Sanji says smartly.

 

Zoro huffs in irritation, and his hands go to the button, and he starts to undo the pornographically tight trousers. Sanji’s heart seizes, and he whips around to face the other way and stare at the clothes hanging up. It’s stupid, Zoro was just in his boxers so seeing him get back to that state shouldn’t be flustering but it is. Perhaps because it calls to mind the sense of what could be, of the other context that Zoro could be stripping for him.

 

As he stares unseeingly ahead at mixed wool blends, he silently admits that there might be a… a _thing_ with Zoro. He hates it, and he hates himself. Maybe his upbringing was very masculine and macho, and perhaps he has some biases that he needs to hammer out, all that is well and good but it doesn’t help this. He’s always been attracted to women and only women. Women and Zoro. He hates it because it suggests that he doesn’t know himself as well as he could, that he doesn’t have as firm a control over himself as he should. It doesn’t even make sense because _if_ he was going to be into men he’s sure that he would have a more refined taste than just Zoro.

 

He hates Zoro for it, and he knows that it’s irrational to do so and that makes him angrier, and the whole thing spirals. It’s not poor oblivious Zoro’s fault that he’s the only guy who gets Sanji hot under the collar. Nevertheless, it’s made their whole friendship volatile and prickly, despite the fact that when Sanji can resist lashing out at Zoro he’s actually a really great guy. He’s got a sly sense of humour but he can also laugh at dumb shit, he’s Sanji’s double in the perpetual mission to bail Luffy out of trouble, and he’s a great drinking buddy. The fact that he’s desperate to plaster his naked body to every inch of Zoro’s is incidental and to be ignored.

 

Sanji forces himself to get his head together and grabs the appropriate size up from the last one and hands it to Zoro.

 

“So do you think they’ve made some kind of bet or something?” Zoro asks Sanji as he slides into this garment.

 

“About what? Whether I can make it through this without strangling you with a tie?” Sanji asks, raising an eyebrow at Zoro.

 

“Hah, no. Robin would never take a bet that stupid, there’s no way you can get through this without strangling me with a tie.” Zoro laughs brightly, and Sanji smirks too.

 

“A man can only take so much of your terrible personality at once.” Sanji sighs in a long-suffering manner, albeit an overly theatrical one.

 

“Can I wear these, then?” Zoro asks, holding his hands out.

 

Sanji looks him up and down thoughtfully. The cut of the trousers is nice and though they hint at the muscles underneath he no longer looks vacuum sealed into them.

 

“Sit down, I want to see how they fit that way.” Sanji instructs Zoro, and the man does as he’s told. The trousers don’t bite into Zoro’s midsection, nor do they show off half his ass and the hems don’t rise halfway up his shins either.

 

“Looks good, stand up and turn around.” Sanji tells him and Zoro sighs and stands up.

 

“Bonney’s not going to be staring at my ass, cook.” Zoro says but obediently turns around anyway.

 

“Just shows what you know.” Sanji retorts mindlessly. He’s sure staring at Zoro’s ass because it looks fantastic in these clothes. And there it is, that stab of a reminder that Sanji is here helping Zoro get ready for a date with someone else. Sanji is wrapping a present that he wants for someone else and trying to be happy about it.

 

“Just because you’re a pervert with your dates doesn’t mean everyone’s like that.” Zoro says mockingly.

 

“Whatever.” Sanji mutters because it plays better than the retort of ‘you’re so hot you changed my sexuality, of course your date will stare’.

 

“Shirt and tie now.” Sanji says, looking into the wardrobe at the array of choices he picked up. He’s a little dismayed at how many things with blue on he picked up, he doesn’t want to send Zoro out looking like him or send him out with Sanji’s own signature colour plastered on him like a back-off signal.

 

“I can do this on my own, I can dress myself. I really don’t see what Nami and Robin insisted on this for.” Zoro grumbles and nudges Sanji out of the way with his hip. He grabs several things and starts haphazardly putting them on.

 

Zoro shrugs on a green shirt that he already had and a bright emerald tie that Sanji had bought and turns to Sanji expectantly.

 

“You look like Saint Patrick’s Day threw up on you, take that all off.” Sanji says and looks back into the wardrobe.

 

“And, since we’re on the subject of your fashion crimes I am confiscating this purple shirt.” Sanji informs Zoro and takes the dress shirt out of the wardrobe. Again, one of Zoro’s own belongings and not something that Sanji chose. He’s only seen him wear it twice, but that was more than enough.

 

“What’s wrong with that shirt? You have shirts in that colour, and it’s the same cut as all the other shirts here!” Zoro protests and tries to grab it back.

 

“Yes, but I get to look dignified in aubergine and purple jewel tones. You, on the other hand, have green hair, and it makes you look like the goddamn Joker. I ought to do the world a favour and burn it. Put this on instead.” Sanji commands, throwing the purple shirt away and instead pressing a crisp white shirt to Zoro’s chest and handing him a tie to go with it as well.

 

“I could have picked this for myself, it’s just white.” Zoro says sullenly and tugs the shirt on with a smooth flex of muscles that Sanji resists touching.

 

“You do not get to criticise.” Sanji tells him and catches him around the back of the neck with the tie and pulls him close. He starts doing up the tie in a showy trinity knot, it’ll be a nice echo of his three earrings.

 

“How are you even doing that? And is this tie black? I could have chosen that.” Zoro says defensively.

 

“No, it’s got a green shine to it. It’s subtle, something which you so clearly lack.” Sanji says sharply and goes to the box that he has in the cupboard. He pops it open and sees that he got the right one first time. Two cufflinks shine back at him, and he plucks them from the case and catches Zoro by the wrist and sets them in place.

 

“These are black glass with a green sparkle to them, they’re classy, so no complaining or losing them.” Sanji says.

 

Now he just needs to choose a jacket for Zoro. He thinks that it’ll have to be the black one, the jackets were more expensive so he couldn’t get as much variety as he could with a shirt. This black jacket has a black silk lining, but he wishes it had a subtle green hint to it like the tie and cufflinks do. Oh well, it’ll be fine.

 

Zoro’s hand catches in the back of the t-shirt that Sanji is wearing, and it feels like another papercut to his heart. He’s not wearing a suit, he’s not dressed up, and Zoro is because Zoro is going on a date and it’s not with him. In all the time he’s known Zoro he’s never, to Sanji’s knowledge, gone on a date before and now he chooses to do so with her? What if he’s with her forever? What if Sanji missed his chance?

 

“You really put a lot of effort into choosing all of this, didn’t you?” Zoro asks him after a moment, oblivious to Sanji’s agony.

 

“Of course I did.” Sanji answers as calmly as he can manage. He squirms out of Zoro’s grasp and pulls down the jacket from its hanger. He helps Zoro into it wordlessly, and then he turns the other man to the mirror.

 

He gets to watch the surprise on Zoro’s face and the wonder as he looks himself over and sees how transformed he is. It’s not like there’s anything there that wasn’t there before. A good suit can do wonders for a man but it’s not actually magic, Zoro’s fantastic body serves him well here. But he’s tastefully dressed with flattering colours and cuts, and he looks like everything Sanji has ever fantasised about him and more. It’s not for Sanji though, and it hurts like a twisted knife. He looks Zoro over in the mirror and feels several more knives stab into his back.

 

This was deliberate.

 

Not deliberate on Zoro’s part of course, but on Nami and Robin’s. They must know how Sanji feels, they’re perceptive enough and this is meant to force him to face his feelings. Maybe if Sanji is charitable it’s a reminder that if Sanji does nothing with those feelings then Zoro someday may be in a relationship with someone else permanently. However well intended it feels like a betrayal from them.

 

“You don’t like it?” Zoro asks, looking over his shoulder at Sanji. They’re close enough to kiss. He could, but he shouldn’t and won’t.

 

“No, I like it. You look great, I was just thinking about…” Sanji’s brain desperately searches for a lie.

 

“Shoes,” he says lamely, “you still have the nice dress shoes from Vivi’s gala, right?”

 

“In the back of the hallway closet where I kicked them off that night, yeah.” Zoro answers.

 

“They’re what you need for this, I’ll get them.” Sanji says quickly and strides away. He needs to get Zoro off to his date before he does something stupid like confessing.

 

He opens the hallway closet and searches for the shoes and tries to force his feelings down. He tries to remind himself how stupid he is for having feelings for Zoro when he’s never had them for another man, he’s laughably inexperienced there, and he wouldn’t know what to do with Zoro if he had him. He reminds himself that he doesn’t know if Zoro even would be interested in Sanji. He clearly has an interest in women if he’s going on a date with Bonney, so basic statistics suggest that he won’t be interested in Sanji. So he should just… keep his mouth shut.

 

He stands up with Zoro’s dusty shoes in hand and an ache in his heart. He cleans them off as he returns to Zoro and hands them over. Zoro sits on the edge of the bed and takes them from Sanji and puts them on.

 

“You’re taking a taxi to the place, right?” Sanji asks as Zoro neatly does the laces on the shiny shoes.

 

“Yeah. Are you saying I’d get lost?” Zoro asks, looking up from the knot on his last shoe.

 

“Absolutely. And it’d be rude to keep a lady waiting as your dumb ass navigates them there.” Sanji replies, more comfortable in their habitual bickering.

 

“You’re an asshole. Do I look good now? Can I go?” Zoro asks, holding his arms out as if to show off all of himself.

 

“You… you look good. Go on. I’ll clear up all the mess from the packaging.” Sanji offers.

 

“You don’t have to.” Zoro says with a frown. God, Sanji wants to kiss him. He always hopes that his suits have this effect on other people, but it’s painfully devastating when it’s turned on him.

 

“It’s fine, you wouldn’t want to bring your date back here and have that mess of packaging and shirt clips all over your bed. The plastic ones, whatever they’re called.” Sanji rambles to avoid thinking about Zoro taking his date to bed.

 

“Thanks.” Zoro says after a second or two. He tilts his head a little at Sanji and grins.

 

“You didn’t even try to murder me with a tie.” Zoro teases.

 

“Oh, well, you can just owe me one then. I’m sure I’ll want to strangle you with a tie in the future when you do something fucking dumb. I wouldn’t want to make you _late_ for your date.” Sanji chuckles.

 

“Was that a pun on being late? As in ‘the late Mr. Roronoa’? You’ve been spending too much time with Brook.” Zoro accuses.

 

“You have no proof that was a pun, go already.” Sanji insists, shoving Zoro towards the door. The man relents and walks over there. He collects his keys, phone and wallet and then hesitates at the door, his hand on the handle.

 

“Thanks again.” Zoro calls and then leaves.

 

With that Sanji is alone in Zoro’s apartment.

 

He ambles about, picking up discarded tags that he had pulled from things when he decided that Zoro was going to wear them. He collects those plastic shirt tags and saves receipts for Nami. He sits down on Zoro’s bed and does his very best not to think about how messed up this whole thing is.

 

Barely thinking he takes out his phone and texts Nami.

 

_Why would you do this to me?_

 

He squeezes his eyes shut and vacillates between feeling like he should have said something a long time ago and trying to force himself to be glad that he resisted because if he gave in he’d surely ruin everything.

 

His phone pings with a message from Nami.

 

_Because you can’t stay in denial. I’m sorry._

 

Sanji only just resists throwing his phone out of the window. Only just. Instead, he gathers up his things and leaves Zoro’s home and heads to the bar near his home instead, now is not a time for being sober.


End file.
